Catch Up #2H

So, was I being an emotional female in that segment in 2G? Probably. But it wasn't unjustified. I was feeling less like a girlfriend and more like an inconsequential acquaintance. After all, if you're in a relationship, aren't you supposed to want to spend time together? Yes, we'd been spending a lot of time together but it wasn't as if we weren't still doing other things. True, most of our time apart was spent in work but we were doing some of our usual downtime things -- just not as much. But a lot of what we like to do can be done spent in each other's company. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic.

It's also true that Mike was the one having to drive to my place so that we could spend said time together so he was doing more of the work. However, that wasn't because I wasn't willing to drive to his place. It's because he doesn't want me seeing it until he has some of the projects he's finished some of the projects he's started on it. So, by not letting me come over, he effectively hobbled my ability to meet him halfway on that.

Lastly, I knew that there was something bothering him but he wouldn't tell me what so I became increasingly frustrated. I've been through that kind of thing before: knowing that the other person is upset but because they won't talk to me I can't help (either through simply listening or actively trying to help them come up with a solution) and that hurts a lot. I end up feeling like a secondclass citizen. You can say that it's a guy thing but if that's a case, it's damn frustrating for us women. Especially if said silence is coming from our significant other. grrr lol Also, since he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, I assumed (yes, I know, ass-u-me) that it had to be me because his snarky comments were directed at me.

In the end, despite the advice in the IM, I did end up calling Mike first. It was work related and completely unlooked for and legit. It turned out to be a good thing because me not calling would have completely gone over his head. He told me that he would have figured I would just show up again eventually. lol Ummmm. . .no. See, with a friend that might be the case if we get busy and that's the kind of relationship that we have. But with a boyfriend? Yeah, so not a good sign. The women in my family tend to run towards the silent treatment end of the scale when we're mad. (As he should have noticed at dinner that night when I stopped talking to him after he said that I was pouting when really I was trying not to cry or say something I would regret later. Who says I have no self control? lol)

Anyway, we ended up having dinner together on Tuesday night. We talked over it all and it turned out that I was right that there had been something bothering him but it didn't have anything to do with me. He was frustrated about something. When that happens, he normally finds a creative outlet for releasing it but I was a handy target. I said that it was fine -- I understand why he would use teasing me as an outlet -- but he insisted that it wasn't. Well, no, ok, you shouldn't take out stuff on another person but it is understandable that it happens. Tony said that can be helpful to someone so long as the other person is aware that they aren't the real focus of the sniping. So, had I understood that I wasn't really at the root of the problem, I would have accepted the picking as tension relief.

See, that's one thing that Mike and I have in common: we like to tease each other. We have several running jokes. Mike's never had anyone that he could pick on before and most of the time it's funny and doesn't faze me at all. The problem comes in when the timing is just not the most appropriate. Especially when I'm trying to be obviously serious about something. Then the jokes just come off as though he's not really listening to me. Maybe that's a girl thing. Quite possible. Anyway, such things lead to a communication breakdown. And for two people who are normally quite good at communicating, it's frustrating. I as trying not to overreact (and actually didn't get angry until he said that I would go home later and pout cause that phrasing just showed that he was oblivious to what was going on and felt like he could have cared less about it and thus me -- ah, that is such a girl thing right there) but (shrug). What can I say? Not sure if you can call this our first "fight" when one of us is angry and the other just accepts it but at least it's normal relationship crap. Ah, well, the idyllic phase is so over. lmao