Spring Break

Ok, before I begin this entry I should address the last one, however briefly. The episode didn't last as long as I feared and all has been talked through and worked out. Mike was wonderful about the whole thing. I am constantly amazed at his patience with me. Then again, there are some things that I really have no control over but he never makes me feel like I'm overreacting. It's such a blessed relief and change.

Anyway, my spring break was the 4th through the 12th. Valerie planned to come down for the first weekend and the northern Kyle was to come for the week itself. Val managed her trip but Kyle had to back out for various reasons (but with a promise to come down in July). Val arrived later than she expected on Friday evening because of a late start and some horrendous traffic. It was all ok. Good to see her again and the three of us had a good evening. Jonathan met up with us and at the end of the evening, we decided to go to one of the adult shops for a few laughs. It was too funny.

I'd given my students off for the two Saturdays of the break because, let's get real, who is going to come to class? So, we all slept in (more or less) and then went out for lunch. I picked up some books for Mike and a book that Val recommended for us. Val wanted to thank Tony for giving me the day off (even though I had said that I could work days). She even did a little happy dance for Tony. lol The lech said that it could only have been better if she'd had a pole. Or something to that effect. A pole was definitely mentioned. I thought it was funny but Jessica wasn't amused.

Afterwards we went bowling. Our scores weren't as good as last time and my game was definitely off so Mike beat me. The other two were just trying to beat us as a combo. lol However, Val did improve a lot as the day went along. Afterwards we went to the apartment to get cleaned up because we had tickets to a ceili. It was ok. Mike bought me a claddagh ring from one of the vendors. I've always wanted one and was touched that he didn't mind getting me a "sweethearts" ring. (smile) The dancing was interesting but we soon decided to bug out for some dinner. Val had wanted to go to Nonnah's so we ate there. Poor Jon and Val. . .they had to deal with Mike and I getting increasingly sappy. See, we've gotten into a habit of sharing each other's food. But instead of helping ourselves, we feed each other. Saccharine, I know. Plus Mike kept getting more and more frisky as the day progressed, and since I wasn't about to be adult and say no, Val decided that she was going to stay over at Jonathan's. lol She wasn't really upset with us. She'd just had too much "happy coupling" moments to last her a long time. If I'd thought that I was truly upsetting her, I would have made Mike stop and I would have behaved myself better. But she wasn't so I gave into the jack rabbit bunny mode. hee hee

Sunday was pretty laid back. Jonathan had to work so he dropped Val off on his way. We pretty much all chilled. We wandered out to do something but I can't remember what we did. I do know that the three of us just wanted to crash when we got home. Jonathan called us and tried to get us to go with him and his friend, Lily, to see a movie but none of us was in a mood. Mike wouldn't really say yeah or nay so I decided that Val and I should "pounce" (read tickle) on him. (flinch) I completely forgot to warn her about his side. I can't remember if I mentioned this before but, a few years ago Mike was in a car accident that broke his back and caused him some other major damage. He was a paraplegic for a while. He still has pain, etc. from it and he is very sensitive on his left side. I went around to his right and Val had the left. I thought that she would just try and tickle Mike but she started poking him with her fingers. That would hurt even me but it sent Mike into a little ball yelling for her to stop. Poor Val. When she realized what she'd done (hurt Mike), she turned white as a ghost and almost fainted. I didn't really notice all of that because I was more focused on Mike. Val ended up hiding in the bathroom for a while as I tried to help Mike. Not that there was anything that I could do. God bless him, when he realized that what had happened had upset Val, he was more upset over that than he was with either of us for causing him pain. He'd never made a girl cry before and he was so upset over that. Needless to say, the whole incident subdued the mood we were all in and made it easy to be firm on not going back out. It was ok because we'd planned to stay in and watch the Oscars. We did that and played Trivial Pursuit at the same time. Can you believe a rap song won for Best Song?

Monday was girls' day. Val and I went to where her aunt works and I got a makeover and some makeup. I also found a new wallet that is the same pattern that Val has. It's a Vera Bradley pattern and the only one I really liked. I needed a new wallet and getting something girlie was good. We went home and I baked a pretty decent chicken dish that turned out well. Jonathan came over and we played another boardgame (name escapes me now). He teamed up with Val and they beat us for both games. lol Of course, the dice were somehow rigged in Jon's favor because he got them around the board really quickly. Sadly, Val had to leave the next morning.

When Kyle said that he couldn't come down, I thought that meant that I would be able to use the days I'd requested off to get some of my work done. Nope. See, the previous Thursday (March 2nd), Mike received confirmation that he had until the end of March to be out of the house that he was renting. Well, I told him that he still had variations of 2 options: 1) rent a new place or 2) move in with me. The latter would require that he put all/most of his stuff in storage until my lease comes up and we could move into a bigger place. Well, unlike the last time this suggestion was made, he decided that he liked this idea. After all, wasn't that the point of the "experiment" mentioned a few entries ago? And since we'd been getting along just fine, Mike figured that this was God's way of kicking him in the ass about the relationship. So Mike decided to move in. It took next to no time for him to decide that.

Well, I thought that he would slowly move stuff over the month. He moved his books into my place over the weekend. After Val left, I decided that I would go and secure him a space where I have my storage. That afternoon he got off work early so he met me there and signed an agreement. Then we went to his place (I finally got to see it) and began moving stuff. We then repeated things (he got off really early every day during the rest of the week) until I had to go back to work at the store on Friday. By then we had almost all but a few little things moved. It was such a whirlwind. So, the next thing I knew. . .Mike was officially moved in! It still kind of blows my mind. But it just feels right. It's all very comfortable. Feels like forever but the time has actually been short. Amazing.

And so, that is how I spent my spring break. Busy busy. It wasn't a "break" really at all except for the few short days that Val was here. Wish she could have stayed longer but maybe next time. Anyway, I will update again soon so I hope this one holds you for a little while.

PTSD

This topic is so relevant right now. In case you're wondering what the initials stand for: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I learned about it a few years back and even used the theory in an English paper (that I really need to polish so I can take it to a conference and maybe get published). The descriptions are too long to put on here but out of all of the links that I have so far, the following will serve you well in learning more: Mayo Clinic and PTSD

(sigh) It's been a relevant topic this week for me. I haven't had an episode for a very long time but. . .well, below is a poem that I wrote earlier today to try and describe some of what I have been feeling since yesterday morning:

TRAUMA

Violence rips across my mind.
My throat clenches as I
Gag upon hidden thoughts that
Lay buried somewhere deep in the past.
No image plays upon the screen
As my mind flinches from the
Flickers it senses just on the surface.
My body remembers what my
Consciousness can not -- will not.
It cringes in upon itself as
Desolation wracks it with sobs.
How does the past have such a hold
Upon my sense of now and the future?
And can we ever be truly healed
Of wounds left deeper than even
We ourselves are scarcely aware?
Always moving two steps forward
Only to be wrenched back to one.
The cycle seems neverending but
It must cease one day in some way.

Copyright (c) 2006 by Lynn Kramer. All rights reserved. No unauthorized use in whole or in part, without prior written permission of the author.