Erg

So. . .catching up is hard to do. But I should be able to between the two sites after all of the finals madness. Most of my grading is done but I am (really) trying to get something banged out on the dissertation. I actually have an opening for the theory chapter. Go me. Now I need to do more with it.

Anyway, I'll update you all on that as well as other stuff as soon as the madness eases a bit. Should be some time next week. Hugs.

I'm So Sorry

Last night Michael's second family, the Seibert's, lost their matriarch, Miss Johnie. She'd been sick for years but it was still a shock as no one expected her to go as quickly as she had. I think everyone thought that this was just a "routine" trip to the hospital. After years of someone having declining health you get used to the pattern that happens.

I feel so bad for them all. Even though they knew it was coming, there really couldn't have been a true preparation. Vern and Kathy are like Michael's second parents. Miss Johnie was Kathy's mother and, I guess, like another grandmother for Michael. I spoke with Jennifer a few minutes ago and she gave my standard answer when I'm just existing and someone asks me how I am, "I'm here." I wish there was something that I could do. And her poor sister, Kristen. . .ugh. . .she is going to be an absolute mess. She was terrified that this would happen because she just last week moved to Hawaii. Her husband, Mike, is in the navy and that is where they will be stationed when he gets back. The navy said that was when she needed to move to get settled. So, now she has to fly in. She'll be here tomorrow. As Jen weakly joked, looks like she'll make the wedding anyway. (sigh) I really wish that hadn't been why.

This so sucks for them. And what really sucks is that they will all try and put on happy faces for us on Friday. I suppose having something good happen right after can alleviate the pain but. . . . The whole thing brings tears to my eyes. I feel so bad for them because they have all been nothing but accepting of me into their family from the start and I've been feeling like they are a second one for me too.

Michael's mom said last night that God will be smiling down on the wedding because the weather is supposed to be perfect but I guess none of us could have seen the cloud that would be hanging out there as well.

Let There Be Air

When last I blogged. . .

I was behind in my work. But no more! I actually managed to get ahead in my work for my students. I just plugged away after my blog entry and got everything set up (including quizzes) for the semester so I don't have to worry about them. Yay!! I am taking over some classes for one of my peers tomorrow because she has to be out of town so I'll get my grading done then for my students and be on track there too. I know, gasp. More icicles in hell! Yay!

As for the title of this entry. . .we lost our AC last week for a few days. It was hell cause the humidity was up past 80% and the temps were hovering at 90 degrees. Blech. See, earlier in the summer I complained about how I thought the air wasn't as cool as it should be. I mean, when you get 100 degrees outside, it is hard to keep the house below 80 inside but the night air just seemed not to be cooling as fast as usual. But when Michael checked, it didn't seem odd to him. So, we just dealt with it.

Well, last Wednesday night, the AC was definitely having problems. I spent a very sweaty night. By Thursday afternoon, it was obvious that the AC had gone kaput. The fan would still run, but no coolness. Michael's brother, Philip, works in AC repair (mostly commercial now) and so we called him for help. He walked Michael through looking at it but, in the end, it was obvious that we would have to call somewhere.

Philip's recommended place doesn't service our area so I called 2nd Wind because they have great reviews and have consistently gotten the Best of Columbia award. Hey, there are worse ways to pick a business. Well, they came out Friday night and, because Michael was able to eliminate a lot for them, after only a few minutes the guy was able to tell us that our compressor had gone kerplunk. Michael was hoping just a freon thing cause that wouldn't be too bad in cost. Nope, we had to end up with a $1500+ repair. We don't have that. Obviously. The guy left and said he would be back in touch on Monday to let us know the specifics. (sigh)

Well, we had already had two restless nights so we decided to buy a window unit for the bedroom. The good thing is that they are all on sale. We got a good small one for $130 and Michael managed to jerryrig is so that it was an inside unit. See, our window screens run the entire length. We have great windows and didn't want to mess them up. So, Michael made it so that the condensation would leak out the back properly. It was great. And would do for the winter until we could save up for the repair.

Still, the rest of the house remained 80+ both night and day. It made us both grumpy especially as I had given Michael my cold.

On Monday, 2nd Wind called Michael. Turns out that our former landlord/person we bought the house from had bought the unit from them to begin with. I hadn't been sure who he had. I did know that he had a service agreement with someone and had been expecting them to contact us to see if we wanted to continue that but never heard anything. Well, along with the unit, Hite bought a ten year warranty with it and 2nd Air said they could transfer that to us for $150!!! (happy dance) I swear, I almost cried. I mean, how great is that? Yes, we can live without AC. But if I don't have to, I don't want to. So, thank God for the break, Hite for the foresight, and 2nd Wind for their honesty. Cause they sure didn't have to tell us. We would never have known. Then again, what would have happened if we had asked Hite? Yeah, well, they could have just claimed that the time for change over had expired. But they were nice and honest and so getting plugged to people. They truly deserve their status as Best of.

So, Tuesday night we had the right temp in the house and it felt great. Sorry, Jim and Cynthia, for roasting you while you were here. But now we know why. And this way when other peeps come to visit, we won't roast them either. Cause, even though winter is coming, in SC summer hangs on for a while. The nights might drop slowly but the days can stay hot and humid into December.

It feels good to be able to sit in my chair here in my office without sweating. Ah, I am spoiled.

Back in Session

Well, school is back in for me. Last week was the first full week of classes. I think that between running around a humid/hot campus and being around tons of people again caused me to get the cold I have now. I almost talked myself hoarse on Tuesday. Had a sore throat on Wednesday but was hoping that was because of Tuesday. Thursday the throat was worse and I felt like I might get sick but I hoped not with some sleep. Nope. I didn't feel well on Friday but went out and got some stuff done.

Michael kept waking me up Friday night because I kept snoring. Excuse me for drippy sinuses. I finally gave up at 6:30a and did some work in my office. I grabbed breakfast and headed to class. I gave the lecture even though my throat was still blah. I had scheduled us a couple's massage and that helped.

Michael and I did some errands. At that point it was just my throat and not my sinuses being too bad but as the day progressed, they went down hill. Probably partly because of the massage. They tend to get things moving along when I am even close to being sick. Helps to push it out of the system.

I ended up spending part of Saturday night on the sofa because Michael kept waking me up again so I gave up. I was so out of it. I went back to bed before 10a and told him I wasn't going to church. He got up. I fell back to sleep. Finally I got up and he made me some soup and I had a pb&j sandwich. The latter actually helped with getting rid of the last of the throat scratch. Jonathan had wanted to go see Hamlet 2 yesterday and we'd been planning it for a while but I wasn't sure. So, when he called I said we'd see for the evening. But I ended up falling back to sleep some time around 3:30p and didn't get up until 8p.

It's amazing I slept last night. And so, here I am, behind in my plans for the weekend. Oh, well. I will work on the invitations after I do some stuff for school. I've got to get some things together for that so they're out of mental need to do pile. Once tomorrow comes, I'll be off and running on my usual schedule until the wedding with only AWA as the blip. Gonna be busy. Two months to go and a ton to do. Yay!! lol

Another Politician Has Lied About An Affair

Oooo, stop the presses. Really? Ok, so I'm being sarcastic. I must admit that I was a little shocked to see that the current adulterer is John Edwards. After all, he seemed like the all around family type with a wife of 30 years and 4 children. But then again, what can you say for appearances.

I don't so much care what foibles the politicians commit in their own lives. Nobody is perfect and it really is between him and his wife. If they get caught, I do think that they should just own up to it and move on. You would think that people would know by now that once they are in the spotlight for something (politics, arts, etc), they are analyzed to the nth degree. Fair? Nope.

What is ironic is that, during his run for the Democratic bid, Edwards talked all about how we need to have someone lead us who has a strong moral compass and whatnot. Okie dokie. I don't disagree with that but I'm thinking that's just a bit hypocritical.

But that's not what gets me about this whole thing. What sticks in my craw is that he had an affair while his wife of thirty years is dying of cancer! Did you get that? All the responses I've read so far have spoken about him as another lying bastard/man/politician/white person. . . . But is that really the point. Not to me. I admit to not knowing much about Elizabeth Edwards. But I do know this much: she has incurable cancer (which has spread to her bones) and has been dedicating her time and energies into her family and John's campaigning. I don't care what their life is like behind closed doors. It could all be a farce. But let the woman die with some dignity in public. And how stupid can a person possibly be to have an affair under such a circumstance (public or private).

No doubt the media will twist this to make her out to be a victim (which she kind of is). Watch. . .she'll handle it with grace and dignity. She won't leave her husband but will do all she can to smooth everything over.

More on the Media

I was going to respond to Natalie herself when she sent me a very nice little message about the last blog entry but I wanted to share the article I just read with all of you. So, here's what I was writing. . .

I was just reading an "Entertainment Weekly" article where they speculate that Katherine Heigl could be killed off on "Grey's Anatomy" for being outspoken. She refused to run for an Emmy this year because she didn't feel like she had any material worthy of such an honor (she won one last year anyway). That could be a jab at herself but it's being taken as a stab at the writer's of the show. Well, one of the regular columnists, Mark Harris, wrote about the incident later in the magazine and said something like I did about Britney. About how the internet is dragging down the media into the gossipy pits of hell from 50 years ago. Not that they ever completely pulled out of it but at least it was mainly trashy tabloids who stuck to that stuff. Now it's every where. Harris mentions clicking on some of the same links I have (he didn't say if it was via AOL like I do) and just rolling his eyes at the articles. The title's catch our attention so we read. For me, it's my version of a car wreck, I guess.

But yeah, they attack everyone so I guess they see it as fair.

If you want to read the article (and it really is a good one) go here:

Katherine Heigl's 'Grey' matter - EW.com

A Burst of Britney

Ok, stop reading if you don't want my brief rant on Britney Spears. No, I am not a huge fan though I do like her music (what can I say, it has a good dance beat). Yes, I am sympathetic towards the famous twit. Only to a point, mind you, but people do stupid stuff all the time (maybe not shave their head and bash at a car with an umbrella but, well, we're past that I hope). Normally I just roll my eyes at the media coverage of her. But, well, their latest take is just too ridiculous. Poor woman can't do anything right. Granted, they have a point to a certain extent but they make the incident seem so tragic.

In case you didn't catch a blurb on it, here's the summation: Britney was in her L.A. home hanging out on her balcony talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette. Her 2 year old (I think he's the youngest) grabbed her cigarettes and lighter. She rushed to stop him like she should.

Horrible, non?

Stupid is what it is. No, she shouldn't be smoking around the child (that was the main argument the article had). Heck, she shouldn't be in general (but that's my view and some of you smoke and I love ya so we'll leave it at that). But she's trying to get her act together so if that is the worst thing that happens around the kids right now. . . . I have to wonder if the writer of the article smokes or ever has. Hell, I haven't and I say knock it off. Yeah, yeah, I know that they have to have someone to pick on but I thought we were past the Britney phase. Apparently we never will be. And they wonder why she went nutso. Sheesh

AOL should have headlined something else.

Flying With Carry Ons

I just read an awesome article while I was eating lunch. Well, it's more of a flight attendant's rant than an article but it was still very informative and interesting:

Flight Attendant Pet Peeve

I skipped over some of the description of the hypothetical passenger's trip to the airport but it was amusing. I have to say that I can see the woman's point. Heck, back in October (the last time I flew), I saw too many people bringing on big bags. I can only imagine how bad it is now with the new price guidelines for luggage.

Michael and I think that, while annoying, the luggage cost thing is fair. Yes, they pack people in as much as they can and, yes, there are other ways that the airlines can cut back in order to save money but what do you do with the one person who brings five bags to someone else's one? Of course, it all also depends upon how high they start jacking up the prices on tickets too. And they need to stop having the corporate mentality that multi-leg tickets should be cheaper than straight flights between major cities. I have never been able to figure that out. The only reason I can see is to show justification for flights between certain destinations. Oh, you have to love corporate logic. Sheesh

Anyway, I hope you like the flight attendant's blog entry (I think that's what that is). I did.

Urk

All of you people who have never suffered from procrastination and/or been a pack rat. . .you suck! lol The rest of you will feel my pain. (sigh) I've spent the past two weeks working on getting our spare bedroom dug out. Well, I've finished the first level of sorting, as Michael put it. Yes, we have levels. Why? Because I have too much stuff!

Ok, there are reasons for most of it. But then there's that 25% where I go. . .what was thinking when I moved last? Oh, that's right, I wasn't. Because I never think when I move. I never go through stuff. I just pile it all together and say, "I'll sort it out when I get to the new place and start fresh." Um, no. Cause at the new place I just ignore it. (sigh) You know, like a cat with its paw over its eyes, "If I don't see you you're not there?" That would be me.

Now, some of the stuff I've schlepped around over 4 moves in 13 years hasn't always been with me but it has accumulated. It's amazing how much stuff can pile up over the years.

Magazines: I had a gazillion subscriptions at one point (about 10 years ago) and threw out a good bit of them but still had far too many. They are now down to a few plastic crates (about 5 I think). This may sound like a lot and it probably is but when you figure that I threw out I don't know how many times that. . .well, it's not so bad. Mostly what I have left is fantasy stuff plus things that could be useful for academic ("Psychology Today") purposes.

Cards: My God, I have my own Hallmark store. I always joked that I kept them in business. Yup, I did. Do. Sheesh. Well, once I get them sorted, I will have a nice emergency stash. A good chunk of the cards are going to be donated to Michael's church because they are ones that I got, unsolicited, from charities at one point. That's what I get for donating when I can (I have 4/5 that I try to but haven't been able to for a long time). Then there are the cards and letters that people have sent/given to me. I have every one, I think. It may sound insane but it's hard for me to just toss a card, even a simple one. It's like tossing away a smile because that's what I do when I see the card. So, I keep them. Every one. I have since I was a child. I think it's because mom used to so I guess she started the idea but by my teens it became a habit. And I won't change that one even though it takes up space. Even the cards from people I no longer speak to (for whatever reason) because the memory is precious. Guess I should write for Hallmark too.

Stuffed Animals: aka Plushies Ok, this one I cannot be completely blamed for. I've had them my entire life and still have, in pretty good condition, the ones from my childhood. The ones that are my fault are the Beanie Babies. I admit that cause I was an adult when they came out. However, I didn't buy them solely because they were a collectible at the time, I bought them because of my love for stuffed cute toys. Yes, I know how old I am. I don't care. Live with it. lol

Collectibles: aka Dust Catchers lol Had to put that on there because that's what dad would have called them. Mom is partly to blame for this one because she would do series of items from time to time. That and buying me things to decorate my room. I also put under this category anything themed that anyone has ever given me. So, this is a big one because it's not what I've bought. My contribution to this category is maybe a third. Unless you count each bookmark separately in the stash and then, well, it jumps up. lol I looooove collecting bookmarks!

Paperwork: Good Lord! I have school stuff from back in high school! Not much. I so need to go through it cause this is taking up too much space. At least the plushies we could toss in the attic in sealed containers. I am not too upset with myself here because most of it will probably need to be saved "just in case" since it is a professional tool but still. Michael wasn't kidding when he said that the house would go up like a match. Sheesh.

Photographs: Way more than I thought I had but then, I've added to the stash over the years. That's gonna be a fun project when I have time. (laughs hysterically) ahem

Miscellaneous: Odds and ends of things that I will stash in a drawer to use at some point.

You know, it would make life simpler not to have all this stuff but I can't seem to get rid of it all just yet. I am getting better though. When I get frustrated enough. . .I toss it. Some things I may donate. Some I will give to friends to add to their piles of stuff. So, it all works out in the end. I hope.

I Give Up

Ok, so that whole high school like debacle that I wrote about last time came to a startling conclusion. My friend bolstered up some courage and then got turned down with a, "I will be busy for the foreseeable future." Ummm Ok, color me confused. Granted, it is a true statement and maybe the person being pursued just doesn't want to get into any relationship stuff right now (which was kind of said to me in the first place) but we were simply talking about hanging out, not marriage.

So, whatever. I give up on trying to figure people out on this. But I am very proud of my friend for giving it a shot. It's hard to set yourself up for the possibility of that kind of reaction. And it can be very draining. But kudos for trying!!

As for every singleton out there, if it can happen to me, it can happen for you. I mean, I thought I was going to be the eccentric old maiden aunt with the 52 cats and now I'm planning a wedding. It still seems surreal to me. I found a man who really does love me despite my faults -- nay, in some respects because of them since they are entertaining -- and is happy with me. And the really ironic part? Everything I'd ever done wrong in trying to pursue something with guys in the past was exactly what I had to do in order for him to buy the clue. I wasn't doing it wrong all those years, I was just doing the right thing with the wrong men. lol So, buck up. There is hope. And friends to smack you when you start to doubt. Hugs.

It's Not Complicated, It's Difficult

Man, it is always so much easier to give advice about love than it is to take it or act upon it. Why do we always complicate things to the nth degree even when we know better?

See, I have a friend who has been flirting with someone for a long time. I know the second person in a chatty sort of way. Now, the situation has been going on for a long time. My friend even got up the nerve to actually finagle a way around finding out if the other person was single. But the question that still needed answering was whether there was any interest.

I got bugged about chatting with the "love interest" in order to find out the answer. Felt a little silly but I wanted to help out. I had two choices since chat time was limited but outside events: 1) I could simply say hi and that my friend says hi too or 2) I could just come out and ask. Now, had I not known this person before, only option 1 would have been available. But since I do and time was limited, I went for it. Besides, any hinting I could have done would have let the cat out of the bag without ever answering the question. However, yes, there is an interest! And it wasn't feigned or anything. I happily told my friend that the pressure was off because we had an answer and no rejection was nigh.

So, what do you think happened?

Yup, my friend freaked. Now, I can understand a whole, "Oh my God I cannot believe you did that!" spiel. Yup, understandable. But it should help to know when another person has interest right?

Nope. I miscalculated how much communication anxiety my friend could actually get. I mean, I know nerves and have had them but today was major fear. I've been telling my friend all week that now is a good time to ask the interested party out. Nope. Michael thinks that the problem is that it's being done in too public an environment. That's probably partially it but I think phone would be too much to. (sigh) So now what? I don't know. I tried to help and made it worse and now I feel really bad about it. I mean, is there something I can do to fix this or do I just let my friend wallow in fear and misery? I am a little confused because they have known each other for a long time even though they have never been friends. I would have thought the familiarity would make things easier. But no. . .I want my friend to stop moping and take a chance. I thought it was time to but I guess I was wrong. But I wonder when the time will ever be right to pursue this dream? Any suggestions?

Updates

Well, it turns out that Chuck (my brother) is fine. Nothing wrong with his heart. So, he's been put on cholesterol medicine to lower it. Yeah, that could do it when coupled with stress. But at least we know.

As for my car debacle. . .turns out that someone on one of the next streets had his car spray painted too. The paint is the same but what was on his was totally different from mine. So. . .the only real connection is the paint because I don't know my "neighbor" and there doesn't appear to be any other connection. Still, the detective is professional enough to pursue the student angle if I want him to. Michael says yes but I dunno. I mean, it could be someone covering their butts or they vandal(s) made a mistake at first. . .too many variables. (sigh) Michael had said Sunday night that it looked like the spray can had run out of paint so I suspect the other guy got hit first but I don't know that.

Anyway, the rest of the week has been quiet. Well, except for my hyper bunny mode. Two days of massive energy rush. Of course, Michael has benefited from that so I guess it's all good. lol Gotta get some work done though. I just realized that not much has been accomplished this week. Where did it go? Then again, it was thrown off by the holiday and stuff so. . .guess I should have expected it. Will let you know if anything else exciting pops up. Hugs

Well, Last Night Was Interesting. . .

And no, not in the way any of you perverts were thinking. Sheesh

Seriously though. . .Michael, Jonathan and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie (it was pretty decent). Jon had to work at the store so we met up afterwards. Well, Michael and I'd had a late lunch so we were hungry after the movie and stopped at Waffle House. The evening was going well until we pulled into our driveway about midnight. As Michael's headlights hit the back of my car we both noticed something odd and shiny. As we got closer, we realized that someone had vandalized my car.

Yup, someone decided that spray painting my car last night was a fun recreation. Across the back part of my trunk and passenger light and around the side was a bronze graffiti: BITCH. The passenger side also had streaks of paint across it. Looks like whoever did it focused on the word and ran out.

"Who?" You are asking yourselves. Good question. No idea. Well, not specifically but considering I just turned in my spring semester grades on the 11th and I had a few unhappy students (as usual). . .that is our best guess.

Yes, we called the police and I reported the incident. They took pictures but we'll see if anything comes of it. Michael actually managed to get the paint off without doing more than scratching the plastic over my lights. Go me and not forking out money like I used to to wash the car more regularly during pollen season because that and the fact that it was humid kept the paint from settling in. Oh, and go Easy Off oven cleaner!! Took Michael two hours to get it off but he was determined not to let it set in. (sigh) Stupid people. I'm annoyed and hurt by it more than angry. I won't speculate on here but will let you know if anything further comes of it.

So, a good weekend ended on an annoying note. But it picked up today because we had lunch with my friends, Ruthann and Roy, who are both in town. That was great cause they finally got to meet Michael. So, that made it better. Now I'll just chill a bit and relax. You can always email me with questions about the incident if you want to know what I'm thinking. But eventually it will pop up on here. Hugs.

Verrrry Interesting

According to the Washington Post, Barnes and Noble is looking to bid on Borders. I read this on AOL a little while ago. I also read the comments that were posted about it. I wanted to post too but it wouldn't go through. Here's what I wanted to say:

Borders is currently the only major bookseller that still has small in-mall stores: Waldenbooks. Barnes and Noble got rid of most, if not all, of theirs years ago. So, what happens to that brand if B&N takes over? Either way it doesn't matter because no one seems to care whether Waldenbooks succeeds (which it could do if given the right kind of support).. I like both chains but they tend to use up and squash the little guys. I will buy from amazon when I need something hard to get or out of print. They are a great resources and it would be interesting to see them buy Borders (with whom they were online partners until this year). As for Walmart. . .yeah, they are cheaper on bestsellers but they don't have a very good variety of books in general. I refuse to buy books from them for various reasons. Support the bookstores!

No one on there seemed to realize that Borders owns Waldenbooks. That's not really a surprise since Borders doesn't advertise it. I do agree with several of the responses that they are basically the same anyway (B&N and Borders) in concept with the big stores. I prefer Borders but that's only because I've had better luck with getting help at various ones than at B&N. And the B&Ns tend to be very dark inside. Still I did have a card there once until I started working for the competition. lol And now, well, can't buy much until after the wedding. And then I'll probably go back to what I did pre-bookseller career and buy from various places depending upon the book and how quickly I want it.

Still, I found the article interesting and can't wait to see what happens from it.

Go Kyle!!

Yay!! Kyle (northern) finally got his psychology degree. I am so proud of you (I know he reads the blog but I wanted everyone to know too)! Doing a big happy dance right now. Won't talk about how long it's taken (wink) but that step is over. Dude, wish I could have been there. You look so tired in the photo but so awesome too:



I want to hear all about it so call me when you have time!

We will have lots to celebrate this year. My two youngest nieces are graduating from high school. Cynthia's is on the 30th. I'm not sure when Cheri's is. I so wish I could go to both but there just isn't any money to spare. But I am so proud of them too. They are college bound.

And Kyle? Well, he's grad school bound right?

Guess I better get my diss done before they all catch up to me! (wink) Love to all.

Economy Rant

The following is a poli-business rant so don't read if you don't want to. lol

Ok, so, the government wonders why we are in a recession. They are sending most of us "stimulus checks" to try and help boost the economy. Um, maybe instead they should look at some corporations are doing business. I swear, the following three examples must have all had their higher ups train at the same "Management School For Dummies":

Corporation A: They were taken over about a year ago by a company that had no real clue what some of the products are. Instead of asking employees to explain their various jobs, etc, the new company just runs over everyone like a bull in a china shop. Cliché but accurate description. Now they are asking every employee to sign a ridiculous contract that basically gives them the right to control the employees' lives for two years after they leave the company (no matter what the circumstances cause the leave). Briefly: the contract states that employees are not allowed to get a job with any competitor and/or with a company that has any remote connection to any field that they are attached to. Example: an employee would not be able to go work for (even as a janitor) any software company because they sell software too. I kid you not. The former employee can only work for someone else where there may even be the slightest conflict of interest (in the eyes of Corporation A) if they get a waiver from Corporation A. If the former employee moves, etc, they must report that to Corporation A. Basically they cannot make any life decisions without Corporation A knowing about it for two years or they are subject to a breach of contract and retribution. If an employee does not sign the contract, they are fired. Of course, this has led them to firing so many people that the ones left who won't sign can't be let go until their replacements are trained. How's that for screwing yourself?

Corporation B: This company bought out a smaller one years ago so that they could use them as a means of paying for their larger branches until they were firmly entrenched. Once the larger ones became known and popular, the smaller ones were left to basically rot (degrade). For the past few years, the rules and stipulations that have been put on the smaller businesses have been such that they can't possibly meet the outrageous goals of the larger firm. So, the company finds that since the larger stores are now hurting in the economic slide and the smaller ones (which could have been a balancing asset) can no longer help because they have been clipped so much, they must put everything up for sale and hope for the best. In the meantime, they are seeking a way to save money. And how are they doing this? Well, the latest is the following: 1) no new hires for stores until June (which leaves one local store with only 5 employees), 2) training mangaers are no longer allowed to travel, 3) district managers are not allowed to travel for at least five weeks (how they are supposed to help their stores who knows), 4) several VPs have been fired, and they will no longer offer holiday pay. This comes on top of insane sales plans coupled with low hour offerings. Store managers have been expected to take up the slack by working six 8-hour days a week. Everyone has seen the slide coming for some time. Oh, and the higher ups have hired an outside company to help them develop a plan that will help them save money. Yeah. Sure. Why not ask the more experienced employees? Oh, right, like with Corporation A, that would make sense.

Corporation C: Has jumped on the outsourcing bandwagon. All jobs will be outsourced to India. But that's not the kicker for its future former employees. The real punch in the gut comes in the form of being given the option of personally training their replacements or losing any benefits (on top of severance pay) that they had accrued with the company. It's almost as bad as being replaced by a robot because they can do the work longer and faster. Only, in this case, the employee is being replaced by someone who can be paid less than a third of their salary. Hey, great for the new guy, bad for the old.

And doesn't that all just sum it up? Companies expect their employees to be loyal but they refuse to show them the same consideration. I mean, yeah, this is business and the point is to make money. But that just perpetuates a cycle that is partially responsible for dragging down our economy. Either stupidity or greed is robbing us of our stability. It's only a part of the problem but it is a big one: companies are taking advantage of people because they know that folks will do what it takes to earn money to put food on the table. But that only means they are shooting themselves in the foot when the ripple affect hits and there's no one to buy, etc, what they have to offer. Good grief.

Ok, I'll stop and be back to "normal" tomorrow.

Send Happy Thoughts, Please

I was online late last night because I wanted to email Valerie some info before I forgot. Well, my brother, Chuck, popped online and I IMd him. He's been in Hawaii for the past few months on a work contract for some company. He wondered what I was doing up at midnight my time but you know me, the night owl. lol Anyway, he was online because he's thinking of getting a second Masters degree. His first is in Elementary Education (his BA is in electrical engineering, I think) but now he;s thinking Psychology!! Wow, I never would have thought of Chuck going for a psychology degree. Actually, I think that he would make a good one but, well, I guess things have changed a lot from past conversations.

Sidetrack: I just realized that I am surrounded now by people pursuing degrees in that field. I find that ironic since I've been studying it since high school and have always thought I would eventually get one myself. lol Very interesting.

Anyway, the need for happy thoughts comes in here. . .Chuck said to me, "I am going to the hospital on Thursday so on Friday they can do a cardiac catherization to see why I have chest pains and also a bad stress test." He's only 44! Of course, he does tend to put a lot of stress on himself so, I guess that would explain it. Actually, he's been the healthiest of us. So, I guess that's why it's a shock. He has to stay through Saturday because he doesn't have anyone to look after him. His wife is in Nevada at their home and, knowing Chuck, he probably told her not to spend the money to go to Hawaii. I assume this because he said, "I am fine, just need to know what is gong on so I can get it fixed." And, "I will be fine after all I am in a hospital." Sheesh, that latter gave me a chill. Famous last words. lol But yeah, he should be fine. Promised to email me on Sunday so I'll let you all know.

I told him he wasn't allowed to get sick until AFTER the wedding! Seriously though, I worry. Hey, that's what sisters are for, right? I just passed on the word up home. They really need to clean up the answering machine. That beep lasted forever! More soon. Hugs.

Relief Is Spelled W-O-R-K

lol Like the title? I know it seems wrong but in this case it's true. See, I always teach a summer course on base for USC. It always makes though the number of students varies. It's been a close call the last two years but has gotten enough students last minute. Well, this year has been different. Classes start next week (they run it differently than on main) and up until yesterday I only had three students signed up. Then I had a fourth yesterday. yuck So, I've been a little frantic inside because, well, it would help if I had a job for at least part of the summer. Granted, doing the dissertation, wedding planning, and housework are all jobs in and of themselves but they don't provide funds.

I got an email about the start of classes next week, blah blah. General one. So, I emailed her and asked what the procedure was since I only have four students. She said that there is a soldier pending to take the class and that they put the paperwork through today. Woohoo! I have been moving from shock to relief over the past hour. Normally I think I am supposed to have 10-12 students registered before they will do that. But I am so not going to argue about only having five. Talk about an easy job. The hardest part will be coming up with things to do with them so that we actually use some class time. lol My normal way of doing things is geared towards 15-20 students needing to do their speeches. hmmm Can we say guinea pigs?

Man, this is just awesome. Michael is really going to be relieved. Cause, this was about to suck big time. I mean, who's gonna hire me when I would have to quit in August? And I will not lie about that. Oh, I do have an interview next week with the university's test prep center to teach for them but I have no idea when that would start if they hire me. They may not want me considering how swamped I am in the fall. But we'll see. Ok, time for lunch!

Flower Day

Well, yesterday could have been better. Started out well enough as the last post mentioned. See, Wednesday night I had gone to bed with a migraine. Had a few pains before I wrote the blog but nothing bad. But as I sat in my office doing stuff, my head got worse and I started feeling nauseous again (I had the night before). My head was swimming. So I went home and laid on the couch. Took some medicine and waited for Michael to come home. He took me to my classroom last night to meet any students dropping off their finals. By the time we got home I was crampy.

Yes, I know. I don't have a certain female organ anymore. But I still have my ovaries and my cervix. So, you can imagine my surprise when I realized that I felt like I did last year. Well, I looked stuff up and it's to be expected from what I can tell. I mean, the doctor did say that I could still experience PMS, etc symptoms because I still have the hormones. I just don't have the obvious outcome. (sigh) So, that explains the migraine because it wasn't the weather and there wasn't anything else I could think of. I was pretty miserable last night and slept badly. So did Michael because he hurt his shoulder. What a pair we make.

I was pretty frustrated with everything last night because I felt like crap. (sigh)

Anyway, today was better. I checked out a new spa here and had a facial and it was wonderful. The woman was awesome and I will definitely be going back. So, I have a new place now called Tranquil Moments Day Spa. It's nice to have a new place and it will be great for getting prepped for the wedding. (grin) The weather was lovely. So overall I felt better.

Michael beat me home. And he left a surprise for me in my office:



Aren't they lovely? He did it just because he felt like it. The cats have sniffed but are mostly ignoring them. So, that's good. They are so pretty and make a nice splash of color in the room. Thank you!! Michael only buys me flowers when the whim strikes him. He got a massage for his thoughtfulness.

Well, my head is starting to hurt again so I'm gonna call it a night. Hugs.

Calm Week

Well, this week has been fairly laid back. I've been giving myself some down time because it's finals week and my schedule is whacked. I have a ton of grading to do though so I'll be working on that some today.

I told Michael that I would get a temporary job if one popped up but that no one would hire me for anything else when I have to start back at school in August. And I won't lie about that to get a job. But there is the possibility something will pop up for a few hours a week. Never know. If not, it's not like I don't have a gazillion things to get done any way, right? lol

I want to give a shout out of Happy Birthday to my eldest bro, John. It was on Tuesday. I'd also like to say huge congratulations to Rebecca and Nathan who are the proud first time parents of a baby boy. And congratulations to Celeste on finally getting her doctorate! Talk about inspiration. You go, girl!

Everybody please send kind thoughts and good energy to Andi. She's having a tough time right now. Poor dear. It will be ok.

Well, that's about it. I know, hard to imagine my life being fairly "quiet." Oh, geez, I probably just jinxed myself. (PS It's only quiet now that the housekeeping lady is out of my office and off our phone from discussing some drama. Sheesh lol)

One of Those Days

Yesterday was not the best of days. Oh, it started out well enough but by the end of it I had a headache and just wanted to sleep. Michael went with me to my last class cause we planned to spend the day together not doing anything serious. Just us bonding time. Class went well and we stopped home afterward so I could look for some things to take shopping with us. We planned to mainly window shop but I had some coupons for "just in case" and everything. Well, he felt blech so he ended up falling asleep. That was ok cause a thunderstorm had moved in and my brain was feeling fuzzy too.

When he woke up, we decided to grab a pizza at the local Greek restaurant because I think it's better than any of the chains. It was only 3:30p so the place was deserted. Well, that and because of the Kenny Chesney concert. People had been lined up for the 8p show at 9a!! Anyway, "dinner" was nice and we went to Lowe's to get a steam washer. Not for carpet (as we have only one rug in the living room), but for cleaning in general. Michael thinks that will be a good way for me to get all the nooks and crannies that drive me nuts. Plus be able to avoid getting sick every time I clean the bathroom because of the cleaning fumes. Even with the fan on, I sneeze forever and get congestion. It's a good idea and the thing works well (Michael had to test it out of course).

So, this is all decent, right? Yup. At least until Blockbuster. We decided on movies easily enough but he got grumpy at me for wanting to rent some episodes of "Bridezillas". I'd watched clips online but no full episodes and was just in the mood for something amusing. Michael just sees it as irritating. Well, hell, it was a free rental so whatever. But that wasn't the main problem. Nope. . .we get back outside to his truck and realize that it won't start. Oh, something is spinning inside but no ignition. Michael says that the engine isn't getting any fuel. His truck has been making noises for a while but, of course, he's ignored it. (sigh) Well, the clincher is that he'd left his cell phone at home to charge and I'd left my bag at home so we were phone less. Jonathan would have been getting off work at that time (and, in fact, ironically enough was calling the house at the time we realized all this) but we couldn't remember his number.

What to do? Not call a tow truck because Michael wants to see what his work wants to do about it (he's due for a new vehicle soon). And not leave it right in front of the store. Nope, let's back up the truck into the space behind us. Sounded simple enough. You would think. No, apparently I can't drive. The parking lot was slanted just enough that Michael could push the truck backwards. Problem #1: I was worried he would hurt himself. Problem #2: I was worried I would hit one of the cars behind us. Problem #3: I am not used to his truck. Granted, his truck isn't much longer than my car and I have driven it, but the feel is different to me. Combine all of these things with difficulty steering because the tires don't move as well as when the engine is running and you have a recipe for fubar'dness. (sigh) Needless to say, we get backed up but I end up putting us to where we were taking up two spaces. So forward we go. A car pulls in and instead of speaking to the guy, Michael lets him go into Blockbuster. So, now we have someone directly behind us and I have to try and angle his truck between two cars. Yup, almost hit one. Didn't though.

So, Michael has an alpha male blow up (which is rare for him) and I get yelled out. Yup, he finally sounds like one of the men in my family. Took him over two years but he succeeded admirably. It was a good rant about how I don't know how to drive and he's going to have to teach me blah blah. Granted, he was frustrated and pushing the truck was hard but, yeah, that really helped the situation. Short end was it took two more tries for me to be able to get the truck into a space in a way that satisfied Michael. After that? We walked the 2.1 miles to our house. Not that bad a walk and the weather was nice but halfway is very busy road with nothing to call a sidewalk. Fun.

Michael apologized and tried to be chipper going home. Me? I just wanted to get my car, get back to pick up stuff, and stay home. By the time we got home, I had a splitting headache. I came into my office and saw Jon had called so I talked with him while Michael tried out the washer. Then Michael comes in while I was setting up the hairstyle poll and slideshow on the wedding blog and gets frustrated at me because I wanted to read directions on how to do it rather than let him walk me through the steps via google. I gave in and it went well but then he was "helping" me by reading over my shoulder and correcting my phrasing as I wrote the entry (I originally didn't have an and between girlie and frivolous) which only set my teeth on edge so I closed out the browser and tossed my keyboard aside. Mature of me, I know. But I write on here like I speak/think instead of going for "proper" phrasing. I'm not writing an academic analysis here! Sheesh He went off to his office and I read some articles and played some games. By 10p I was tired and wanted to watch a "Bridezilla" episode but the DVD won't work in my computer for some reason. So, I just gave up, took my shower, and went to bed by 10:45p. Michael joined me at some point and snuggled up (which was nice) but he kept twitching and then woke me up for snoring. Plus, I was hot from it being too warm in the house. So, I took my pillow and went to the couch cause I could tell it would be one of those nights (of waking up a gazillion time) if I didn't.

I slept pretty well, hence me being up this early to write. I'm feeling tired again so I may go back to sleep. Hopefully today will be a better day throughout. (sigh)

To Be or Not to Be a Bridezilla

(photo courtesy of brideorama.com)

Last night, Michael and I got into a conversation about what it means to be a bridezilla. I mean, after all, everyone keeps saying, "It's your day, you should have things like you want them." This is usually said after I've worried about hurting someone's feelings, etc. So, I asked Michael where the line is on when someone is just being a "normal" (and are any ever really that way?) bride and a bridezilla since both want things the way they want them. Michael thinks every woman is pretty much a bridezilla because there is no black and white in the definition due to perception. Great. So no matter how much you may not want to be seen as such, someone will think that's what you are. (sigh)

So, today during my office hours, I have been looking up the term. There is actually a bridezilla website. It's been interesting to look at and some things seem extreme but there is also some really good advice mixed in too. Well, on there they have the following for the definition:

Bridezilla Defined

"Webster's Definition: Bridezilla\ bride-zil-a n 1 Horrific, bulging-eyed bride prone to screaming spells and spontaneous fits of hysterical rage. Bridezillas are known to drop blows over seating charts, get bug-eyed at the mere mention of carnations and view hurling champagne at their wedding planners as a form of hazing.

Bridezilla.com's Definition: Bridezilla\bride-zil-a n 1 Exceptionally attractive, confident women who know what they want and can't be bothered to sugar coat because they are obviously on 100 calorie- a- day microbiotic diets and can't even sneak a pack of Splenda if their life depends on it. Bridezillas are both blessed and cursed with a higher vision of perfection than most mediocre, David's Bridal wearing, Gerber daisy carrying mortals and have no choice but to impart this vision exactly to the masses. It is this motive that drives them to demand nothing less than excellence from their staff-err, wedding party.

In short, some people say bridezillas are bat-crazy man-hating Stepford brides. We say potato, potahto."

KFOR.com defines says "Bridezillas is a name coined in 1995. It's slang, but there's an official definition. It’s a bride to be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious."

Then there is the publisher's explanation of the book, "Bridezilla: True Tales From Etiquette Hell": "A wedding can bring out the best in a person but often brings out the worst. A bride, in particular, seems most susceptible to mutating into a beast no family member or friend can recognize because a magical ring was placed on the third finger of her left hand. By definition, a Bridezilla describes a subspecies of a bride-to-be who believes her wedding day is "her day," that she is princess for the day, that the world owes her, and that her every desire and whim for the "perfect wedding" is to be catered to instantly and subserviently by friends, family, and vendors under threat of thermonuclear meltdown."

From all of this, I guess we can say that being a bridezilla is when a woman has an extreme reaction to either being the bride or a minor event. Even then we could argue over what that means cause some stress is justifiable. Actually, there are variations on the zilla part for everyone involved. So, let's just say that if you're making someone miserable for no good reason (and is there ever a good reason to make someone that way?) at this event, you're being a zilla.

I took a quiz on iVillage and this is what it said that I was a "Low-Key Bride". Flare.com's test says that I am "The Peacemaker". WE tv says I'm an "Average Bride". Well, I'm trying to be, that's for sure. Yeah, I have the blog for us but that keeps things easy and fun (hope). Hard not to when everyone is scattered to the four winds. Hopefully it will stay easy. (snort) Stop laughing all of you NOW. The Bridezilla moment has now passed, you may conrinue about your day. Oh wait, that was one too, wasn't it? ;o)

Sheesh

Ignore the registries post from this blog. It was supposed to be under the wedding one. Why it ended up here. . .I must have hit the wrong one. Sorry for the double send of it. Sheesh

Grumpy

Ok, so I've been a little moody lately. All right, a lot moody. Not sure what it is. Maybe my allergies. Maybe the gazillion things I should do that I seem not to have the energy to get done. . .whatever.

Michael heard something the other day on the radio about how we only have a limited amount of will power. That there may be a genetic predisposition for a certain amount. No matter how you look at it though, they say that because we have a limit, splitting it between too many things can mean that none of them get done to their full potential if at all.

That's all I needed to hear.

(sigh) Lord knows I'm good enough at making excuses for myself without throwing that into the mix. lol

But whatever. Only two weeks left to classes (I'm trying to wrap my head around that). After that I teach one course through July. But mostly I'll be working on the dissertation (yes, really, I gave my director something last week), the house, and the wedding. Oh, and losing weight -- we've started going to the gym. I'm doing a half hour on the elliptical and half hour on the treadmill for starters plus a few weights. Gee? Think I have enough? lol However, I may have to temp this summer as my taxes were less than I feared but more than I hoped. But I really need a break cause the fall is gonna be insane! So, we'll see.

Gonna keep plugging cause that's what I have to do. Hugs.

A Worthy Cause

Hi. Sorry for the lapse again. The last couple of weeks have been hectic with a gazillion things to do. Between teaching, plotting dissertation and wedding, and cleaning, my plate is pretty full. I've actually managed to finally revise my diss intro. I think my next step is to dive into the theory because that is the hardest part and my reward for that will be analyzing the plays I'm doing. Some "reward," huh? lol

Also, my allergies have been kicking my butt. My car looks like a tree ejaculated it's entire supply onto it. Sheesh At least the color is green even if it is a different shade from the car's.

Our new cats have settled in well. Hydona has accepted Solaris and they get along great. They have no problems sharing. It's kind of nice to know that when the attacks happen it's because they are playing. They already have various nicknames and know them. Oh, and it's also nice to have cats who listen most of the time. Solaris is slower (just because he's a big pile of goo and hates to move) but Hydona is very smart. She can be stubborn at times (gee, who does that sound like?) but she usually listens. She actually leaves rooms with me and doesn't make me chase her. lol But I still miss Shaman even though I love these two to death.

Anyway, today I got up right after Michael left so I could redo the diss intro. So now I at least have something for my director next week. (sigh)

Just wanted to update you all. Life is pretty much routine right now. However, occasionally something will inevitably pop up and I'll write about it but there may be long gaps.

One thing I did want to tell you all about is a group called Kick For Nick. One of my students gave a speech on it last night. Tom is/was Nick's best friend. Both were in the military. You'll notice the past tense because Nick was killed in Iraq two years ago. He'd only had a month on his tour to go. Very sad. It seems he was a very nice young man who loved children and had come up with this idea to share his childhood love of soccer with the children over there. He'd taken some balls back with him on his last trip home and handed them out. Well, after his death, his dad started up a campaign to try and continue that thought. It's a lovely gesture and I just wanted to share it with you. Tom is setting up a collection's station here in Columbia since he is now stationed at Fort Jackson and attending USC. So, if any of you know of any unused soccer balls or what not, pass 'em along to me and I'll see that he gets them. It was an awesome speech that brought one girl to tears.

Long Week

I am very tired right now but want to get you all caught up on the week. You can find wedding updates on the other blog.

Jami and Cynthia were late coming in on Monday night but I was watching their progress online so it all worked out well. We got back here at about 2a. They got out of here ok today and home all right. We spent most of the week wandering around and shopping for wedding dresses, Cynthia's prom dress, and other miscellaneous stuff. Cindy and I went to USC yesterday morning while Jami slept and I gave her a tour. She likes the campus. Last night we went to see "The Vantage Point" which was pretty good. Jami went shopping. Jon kindly brought her home so I wouldn't have to worry about coordinating everything.

We did manage to find Cynthia a prom dress. It's a very simple black one that fits her form quite well and she'll be able to wear it again for something else. So, that was good.

Most of what went on is on the other blog so check there. Gonna write it as soon as I'm done here.

Overall it was a great visit and I'm glad that they came down. (big grin)

Spring Break

And boy. . .do I need it. lol

Let's see. . .what has been happening besides school stuff? Well, trying to get the house cleaned up and organized. It's a slow process. There is so much to go through from my various moves and things. So, it's gonna take a while.

Michael and I got another cat so that Hydona has a playmate. She has way too much energy to be by herself and needs another outlet besides us. I told Michael that I wanted a cuddle kitty. I still miss Shaman terribly but I wanted a kitty I could smoosh around like her. Hydona is affectionate but she doesn't really like to cuddle. She'll sleep on my lap but it has to be when she's worn out. So, we went to see the vet in person the day after Shaman died so I could tell him about her. He really is a nice guy. Anyway, while we were there (the other Petsmart in town), Michael saw a male cat who looks almost exactly like Shaman except he doesn't have the black nose or black chin patch. And he's bigger. So, I said, ok, we'll go talk to the cats. Well, there was a female who was fairly friendly but she wasn't as attached to us as Hydona had been the first meeting. But the male, Solaris, just wrapped his paws around my neck and wouldn't let go. He purred and when I passed him to Mike, he did the same thing plus washed his ear. Michael was a goner. lol

So, he found me a cuddle kitty. Solaris is only 9 months old but he's a big boy and just sweet as can be. He's so soft and just a big fluffer. It took Hydona two days to accept him. After all, she had been here first and we were her people. lol Solaris handled it all pretty well. He's not as dominant a character as she is but can be if need be. Hmmm. . .sounds familiar (that just occurred to me). lol Anyway, we made sure not to show preferential treatment. They get along better now than Shaman and Miri did. Of course, Shaman was way more territorial than Hydona. The two get rough but it's all good fun. Hydona and Solaris each love both of us but she has a preference for me and Solaris has a preference for Michael. It's kind of funny. But it's good cause we now have a cohesive little family. They both slept on me earlier but that was because Michael was shut off from Solaris. Now the two "men" are zonked out on the bed.

Michael was gone all last week. He had to go to NY for some computer training. He loves going up there because he gets to massively geek out on machines. He is so jinxed while traveling by air. On the way up, one of the luggage conveyors literally blew up because the belt was out of whack. So he was stuck at the airport forever. Coming back, he almost missed his flight because of traffic but since it was delayed 2 hours, he managed to (barely) make the flight though he was a half hour late and they'd already assigned his seat. Then in Atlanta he was delayed twice with the second being a sudden pickup in the wind that caused the pilot to realize that they didn't have enough fuel to compensate. I told him we are so not flying anywhere for the honeymoon. lol

But, I was smart and had gotten us a hotel room in Charlotte Friday night so it didn't matter that he didn't get into that airport until 1a. We had lunch with his mother yesterday and then came home. However, today was exciting because he woke up in severe pain. I rushed him to the ER. Turned out he was passing a 2mm sized kidney stone. (sigh) That better be our medical emergency for the year. We got him around 1p and he fell into an uncomfortable doze. The stone seems to have passed but not out yet. So, he's still taking tomorrow off from work.

That's fine by me. I have to drive up to Charlotte again tomorrow night to pick up Jami and Cynthia from the airport. They land very late. But that won't be too bad, I think. They can crash in the car. I'll be awake enough to drive. I'll probably update you all again at the end of the week.

Family Rant

Ok, so, I need to rant for a moment. Some of my family are (insert appropriate name). Fill in the () for yourself. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before so please forgive me if I did. One of my sisters-in-law had insisted that she be a bridesmaid in the wedding when I told her Michael and I were getting married. I was a little taken aback but not opposed to the idea. Just shocked as I'd already had a firm plan of who I was going to ask (and even that ended up changing for other reasons). See, here's the thing, I was one of her bridesmaids eons ago when she first married into the family. But it was all my mother's idea. Not mine. I was a young teen (about 12 or 13) at the time so I was cool with the idea but I don't think I would have been heartbroken not to have been in it. And yes, over the years she and I have become friends.

But. . .

While we are friends, I have a bunch of other friends too. So, I was thinking of asking different people to do different things for the wedding since I can't possibly have everyone in the wedding party. For example, I've asked the northern Kyle to walk me down the aisle since I no longer have my dad. I'd ask my brothers but they have daughters to do that for. Besides, I wouldn't want to choose between John and Chuck (though I could) and having all three of us won't work like I thought it would once upon a time. That had been my original image for that part -- one of them on either side of me but. . .(sigh). Anyway, I thought my sis-in-law could play the piano for us. Or help me with decorations since I could use some craftsy help. But no. She made excuses. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I just had a different image in my head.

Plus, she's having problems with my brother. Hell, he'sprobably not even coming. And neither has been on a trip in like 20 years. I kid you not. There is always some excuse. So, how do I know that there won't be again? There's so many ifs and I need something more solid so I can plan the day.

So, now she's saying that she won't be coming down.

Am I so wrong to not want problems for my wedding? I feel guilty for hurting her feelings. I didn't mean to. Am I being selfish? People keep telling me no but I feel rotten. Hell, there are so many people I love who I have not asked to be in the wedding and who I would so love to have play a part. I'm hoping they are ok with just coming and celebrating with us. I mean, to me, that is so important. Hell, they may get to participate anyway cause we have ideas for things to do. I have friends whose weddings I haven't been in as a bridesmaid. But that was cool. I got to do other things for them. And I was happy they were happy.

This sucks. I wish my family could just be happy for me and want to be there. I wish they could just go along with the plans. Cause it isn't just about Michael and I. We are the heart of the event but the soul consists of everyone we love. I am planning things not with just us in mind but with thoughts for how we can make this an event for everyone. An old fashioned ceremony wrapped up in an entertaining package. A party to celebrate our love between ourselves and everyone there.

But apparently that mushiness doesn't really gel for some. Or they don't believe my sincerity. I thought I was past that attitude from people. Guess not. So need to work on my dissertation cause the theme of familial betrayal is such a good thing for me to be working on right now.

And Flights of Angels Sing Thee to Thy Rest

I am very sad today. My heart feels a little more broken. Last night at about 10:50pm, Shaman breathed her last on our bed. In December she'd had to take antibiotics because her kidney enzymes were too high. That was fixed easily enough. Then, on January 29th, I found out she had hyperthyroidism like Miri. Well, no big deal, right? We can treat that. She didn't like taking pills again but it was ok. That week we got another cat to be her playmate so she'd get more exercise. I'll write about Hydona more in another blog. Well, Shaman was doing fine until last Wednesday. She started throwing up. Nowhere nearly as bad as Miri but I wasn't wasting time and took her to the vet. A different doc said she had some kind of intestinal bug so he prescribed Hill's ID formula. That was supposed to be mild enough to help flush out her system. Problem was she stopped eating on Saturday. She was still drinking but wouldn't do more than sniff at food. I took her back on Monday and saw her original vet (who is very nice and very good). There were a few things that could be wrong. She had the lump in her thyroid and some hardening in her intestines. He took blood work and the only thing off besides her thyroid was her white blood cell count. Ok, so she had an infection. They gave her a shot of antibiotics. If there was nothing else, by Tuesday she would be perky and eating. Nope. So we went back Tuesday night. Dr. Blaise was very concerned about the intestines and said that it could be one of two things: cancer or irritable bowel disorder. Either one would respond well to steroid injections. But there was no guarantee. If it was the former, Shaman had a chance of it not working and then we were out of options.

So, he gave her a short term steroid to see if she bounced back. Oh, and they had also hydrated her both days. She had 48 hours to respond to the steroid. Well, about 11a on Wednesday, Shaman threw up again and it was bad. . .blood and a huge clot. She did it again Wednesday afternoon minus the clot. Dr. Blaise wanted me to try feeding her baby food through a syringe so I did in the evening. She didn't throw it up. I kept in contact with the vet via email because he was off. But it didn't look good. However, yesterday morning she was bright eyes and more perky. Well, I have class so I took her with me so I could get more food in her. Shaman did all right at first but then at 1:55p she had diarrhea and it was bloody. So, after that last afternoon class I brought her home and canceled my evening class. Shaman crawled into the bath tub (that was her hiding place for some reason). I kept checking on her. About 8p Michael and I went in and she was laying on her side and had that look. . .the dying look. I've seen it so much in animals that I knew it was nearing the end. So I wrapped her up in the towel I had been using so she could smell me and held her for a while. Then we went into the bedroom and stayed with her. We both petted her and talked to her. She purred for me to let me know she knew I was there. Whenever she was scared I calmed her down. She had one last physical struggle to get up before she settled into a doze and then into permanent rest. We pet her for a little while longer and then I gave Michael one of my t-shirts to wrap her in. We put her in a box and will be burying her in the backyard tonight.

Here is my favorite picture of her:



Shaman had been my "baby" for almost 14 years. Like Miri, she's been with me through a lot. But I was closer to her. Shaman was my cuddle kitty. My stuffed animal kitty. She would sleep with me at night. There were so many when I was restless where she would jump up on my hip and side and that comforting weight helped me go to sleep. Or I would curl up with her purring in my ear. We had a routine. Lots of belly rubs. She loved them and would flop down and rub her paw against her face like an otter when I would say "Gonna get the belly!" Shaman had her own language and would talk to me. Heck, she managed to thaw Michael out towards cats. He didn't realize how much personality they actually have. I know he still prefers dogs but he sees the benefits of having a cat. I'm glad he agreed to let me get Hydona so that I at least have a furry body around to purr at me. But there will never be another Shaman. Well, at least not until she finds me again. Even then she will be different. I am going to miss her so much. But I am glad she died here at home and that we will always have her close by. As I told her last night, she was and always will be the best kitty in the whole world.

So Much To Say. . .

Ok, a lot has happened in the last two weeks. I'll save anything wedding related for the blog.

The week Yancey was gone was as I had expected. . .busy as hell. One of the Charlotte stores thought it was a good idea to send us 80 boxes of calendars. . .unannounced and the day before our last kiosk day! Those came in that Tuesday before Yancey left. Basically, I answered the door, found out we had a shipment that we had no room for, went back into the store itself and said to Yancey when he asked what it was and looked shock, "You're the manager, you deal with it." I thought he'd refuse shipment but instead he accepted it and tossed it into the storage shed. (sigh) So, I was left to deal with it anyway. We did pretty well while he was gone. I worked Yancey's shift in Wednesday and dragged myself to the mall on Thursday at 6a for the kiosk's take down. Friday was a bit confusing because we had our regular shipment coming in, our returns going out (the 80 boxes went out on Thursday because the FedEx truck broke on Wednesday), AND he had another 28 boxes of calendars from Charlotte! I was like, "Hell no!" I told our delivery dude (Sheraton) not to unwrap them and then I made some calls. In the end they got sent on to the same store that got the 80 (that dragged into this week but I'll spare you the details). Michael was on call most of the day so he came and helped me unpack boxes. It was a long and exhausting week.

This past week wasn't much better. I was finally able to start my shortened hours at the store (15) but ended up with two more classes at school because one of the other adjuncts had to drop out of teaching. He's an older guy and has gotten sick. They only found out on Tuesday that he wouldn't be returning. I happened to walk into the office just as they were trying to decide what to do. Well, I am really the only one who could help so I took two of his three classes. They are in the mornings for when I'm already there. Only problem was that would keep me from getting out the new stuff. So I called Yancey and said that I couldn't work one of my mornings. He was ok with it. By the time yesterday rolled around, I was exhausted. Michael and I had a long discussion on Thursday night about it all. There's a good chance that I will get to teach over the summer and also get a lot of classes for the fall. We figured out how much time I have to do stuff and it's really daunting. Even though the store would only take up 12 hours a week. . .it's still too much. And it's draining because I am constantly following up behind people to see that things get done and I have no time to do what we had planned for me to do. I have no time or energy for outside sales -- unless they are already set up.

So. . .I turned in my keys yesterday.

Seems sudden, non? Well, not really. I knew my time was over. I have offered to be available for emergencies. I only need to work once a month to stay on payroll. But that's Yancey's call. He didn't say yay or nay. But the others need the hours more than I do now. And I've finally accepted the end of that phase of my life. I learned a lot and I got Michael and Jon out of the mix so I'm satisfied. School and home are where I need to focus now. No more divided loyalties. (sigh) Anyway, there's more stuff but I'll save it for another entry. Hugs.

January Is Almost Gone?!?

Sheesh. You're kidding right? Where did it go? That's what I get for being sick for the first half. Ah well. Time flies when you're hacking up a lung. lol

I've been updating the wedding blog so you should check there for stuff too on a regular basis since that's gonna be a major focal point for me this year.

As for other stuff. . .just trying to settle into a workable routine. This week is going to be off a bit because Yancey has to go for his management training and the kiosk is coming down. Of course they would happen in the same week. Sheesh. Anyway, it's gonna be hectic and then I can settle in for the normal routine.

It has been so dead at the store. We've gotten a lot done and caught up a lot but there's still so much to do. But ah well, not my main problem even though people still treat me like it is. lol And I somehow wrenched my should on Friday. I don't know how but it hurts. Yuck.

School seems to be going all right. I've already got my classes set up for the fall and summer. In fact, I may actually get to teach a second summer session class! Yay! That means I won't have that horrible two month, low income gap. lol Hope it comes true.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on all that and how the dissertation stuff comes along. It's time to get cracking!

Blech

That's how I feel this week. Kind of off. I think that the weather is part of it. But who knows. Been having bad dreams when I'm not having weird dreams. Mike says that last night I was tossing, turning, and moaning in my sleep. I remember him asking if I was ok but I don't know what I was dreaming at that point. I do remember having odd dreams about my parents this morning. That never bodes well. (sigh)

Anyway, things are starting to settle into a routine. By next week I should have a flow going for doing stuff. Right now I'm just trying to get organized and used to my schedule. At least I'm getting more sleep which is helping. It may not be completely restful but I'm getting more of it. So I suppose it balances out.

Gonna write on the wedding blog now. Hugs.

A New Year

My God but the last month was hectic. Of course, I'm sure that you expected me to be poof since it is crazy retail time. I'll summarize in segments to keep things organized, k?

Work: They "gave" me permission to stay on part-time. HR said that they don't usually do this but if the DM and manager were ok with it then I could stay. How generous. Of course they aren't going to announce that too loudly. It was funny because Yancey thought that I would be disappointed in the pay cut. Uh, no, I expected that. I actually expected to (at worst) go back to what I was making before I became assistant. Instead, I am making a little more so I'm happy. Anyway, I have cut myself back to about 13 hours a week over two days. I'll work more if I do outside events or if there is an emergency. This week I've done more because I wanted to and it all goes towards the wedding fund and bills so what the hey. I'll probably do more outside things during the summer when my budget is lean from school. Speaking of which, it started this week. I have blocked out when I'm doing dissertation, wedding, and house stuff in between classes and the store. I'll let you know how well it works.

Christmas: It was a quiet one. Michael and I went up to his mom's the Sunday before to be with her, his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. It was nice and really made his mom's day to have everyone together. Baby steps on doing the whole family thing but at least it's happening. Christmas Day we just stayed home, snuggled, opened presents, and played golf. lol Michael got me another Painted Pony (this one is so gorgeous) and a howling wolf statue. He's pretty. I got him a bunch of little things but the two big ones I'm most proud of: an original artwork piece of the Lord's Prayer in Cherokee (that's what some of Mike's ancestors were) and a remote control dragon. The latter moves and roars. It's so cheesy it's cool. lol

New Years: Since Mike had a 4 day weekend, we decided that was the best time to go up to Sissy's house (it will always be that to me). Jonathan went with us. It gave him a chance to get away from here as well as gave Lindsay time to prove herself to Yancey (she failed at that but I don't want to talk about it here). We had a decent drive up. I was finally getting over that cold I wrote about last time. It hung on. Probably because I didn't have a chance to rest properly. Anyway, we got up there Saturday afternoon. Everyone was working but Cynthia so we didn't get to see anyone else until New Year's Day. So, we spent our time wandering the malls and going through stuff at the house (which was so weird). Found some great pictures which I'll share at some point. We went to Border's on Sunday and I ended up losing my phone out of my pocket. Fortunately, someone nice found it and we got it back. I just was not having a good time. My string of sucky incidences just kept going. And I was depressed and miserable. On New Year's Eve, Kyle came down and we picked up my nephew, Elijah, to go see "Alien vs Predator: Requiem". It was ok. Fun to do stuff together. That made me feel better. We dropped Elijah off at a friend's and then went home to play a card game:



Yes, we're geeks. Deal with it. But it was lots of fun. We may have to get people together for some rousing games of it at the store. lol Lindsay got deck for Christmas so she likes it too. So, our evening was quiet and fun.

New Year's Day was hectic. It had snowed Sunday night and I ended up shoveling most of the driveway. Because of that I started getting sick again. This one hit my chest instead of my sinuses. It didn't help that we went out to the farm where it was smoke central. And God, was going out there heartbreaking. I can't even begin to describe how badly they have run down the house. But what can I do when they don't care? It's just. . .horrible. John was noncommittal about coming to the wedding and he wouldn't go to breakfast with us. And Brenda is incredibly upset that I haven't asked her to be a bridesmaid. I have various reasons for this but it isn't anything against her. I would rather she do something else in the wedding like play the piano/organ for us but she refused. In fact, she now sounds like SHE won't come either. Her response when I talked with her about it was that she would have to see because she doesn't know how much vacation time she's going to get. It's frustrating. We out of there late for breakfast because Anne was putzing about with getting the baby ready. And then she got mad and drove off without ever going with us. Yeah, I have a really mature family. I would just like them all to play nicely for one day and come down for the wedding and have fun. Is that likely to happen? No. But it is the only gift they would need to give me that day. Hell, ever.

We got out of PA later than planned because we had to pack up stuff. We didn't take a lot. Just a few nick knacks, pictures, and kitchen things. Oh, and Mike took some tools that had duplicates downstairs. Karen did give me Sissy's engagement ring because I think it would be nice to reset it as mine if Michael wants. Her ring is too small for me anyway and I don't wear gold. If not, I'll hold onto it for Cynthia. My new cold kept getting worse and worse as we drove. And in we had to stop in West Virginia because it felt like my bra was digging into my skin under my right shoulder blade. Well, it turned out to be some kind of bite. We suspect it might have been a brown recluse or some other kind of spider but God knows when and where it got me cause I didn't feel it. It was nasty. By the time we hit Virginia, I was hacking up my lungs and in massive pain from the bite. Then we hit the snowstorm that we didn't know was happening. (sigh) I was following Mike and it was around 11p. Well, his truck has rear wheel drive. I was doing fine but he started fishtailing. If we had kept going we would have driven out of it but we were worried that he would end up off the road because it was that bad. So, we chose to find a hotel. Probably a good thing because I was so out of it. I would have pushed myself to get back because I was supposed to open the store the next day but I just felt too drained. Lindsay refused to help (she had to go shopping with her mom and see a friend) for even a few hours the next morning. Yancey ended up going in but he barely got the message in time as he had been out of town and got back like 3a. So, he was in a less than chipper mood. We made good time the =next day in getting back and I went straight to the store even though I probably should have gone home. The rest is a blur. The bite didn't get better and I couldn't wear a bra so I finally went to the doctor that Friday. I'd had some antibiotics at home for the cold but he put me on a bunch more stuff. I worked my hours but sounded horrible. Needless to say, with all the stress and whatnot, I only stopped coughing a lot this week. I've heard though, that this particular cold is hard to shake. But it's better.

So, those are my fun and exciting adventures. I will be posting more on the wedding blog because it's that time. . .so, check there too. Hugs