Well, I survived the holidays. It feels like the survival barely happened but what can I say when I work retail? lol
Christmas itself was pretty nice. Mike and I went up to see his mother in Charlotte. It was a nice quiet dinner and very relaxing. Unfortunately, I had to be at work for 6a on Tuesday so Christmas Day was short lived. The week went by fairly normally. My happy fun time kicked in on Wednesday so I came home early. I had off on Thursday. But Friday was really painful. Let's put it this way, it took me three Vicoden to get it to stop feeling like someone was using a wrench on my insides. Or maybe they were needle nosed pliers. I got through the complete shift but asked Kathleen to cover for me on Saturday. I know that she's looking for extra money and stuff so she was happy to get it. So, I took a vacation day. Mike and I got up and wandered around the flea market for a while. I figured that if I was gonna hurt, might as well do some walking and get some fresh air and exercise. I met one of his uncle's. Mike introduced me as his finacee. Yes, folks, that's what we're telling people. We even have plans which I will save for another blog. It was a nice day. We came home and just chilled out for the rest of it. Spent today doing leisurely things too since I had off (because I worked Christmas Eve). I asked for tomorrow off so that I could rest some more. My pills start again tonight so that should help.
We are planning on doing a quiet evening in for the holiday. It will be nice just to spend it together. This is our first New Year's together because last year I was in Pennsylvania. Well, as Kyle put it, not for very long but for the important event. I just wanted to be here with Mike last year. At least this year I get my wish and finally have someone (the first time ever) to be with to ring in the new year. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
I hope you all have a safe and happy one. See you next year!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Is Anyone Listening?
It's like talking to a wall. I swear that at least the bricks would reflect something back. What am I doing up at 7a on a freaking Saturday when school is out of session? Reversed insomnia. My brain is too rabbity for me to sleep. I got about 5 hours of exhausted sleep but I keep dreaming and feel restless. I don't want to wake Mike up with my fidgeting so I came in here to vent. This Christmas sucks but for him.
Why is that? I really hate my job right now. No, let me clarify that. . .I hate the damn situation. I really like working with the customers, helping them find books, and and even doing some of the business aspect of the job. What I hate is being treated like I am invisible and have no real experience. Like I don't know a freaking thing about XYZ. Give me a break. Am I perfect? No. Do I know everything? No. Am I willing to own up to my mistakes? Yes. So what's the problem?
First off, as you know, we have a "new" manager. She's actually been with the company for longer than me (five years to my two). But, she's never worked this store before or managed the kiosks though she has worked at them. Every store is different and has different needs. One of the major differences between her other one and this one is that we have a higher traffic. She seems jazzed and overwhelmed at the same time by that. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that she can't handle the situation, that she isn't capable of it. What I'm saying is that this is a different situation than she's been in before. She was tossed in head first without much warning. That is not her fault. If she'd had time to lead into the season, we all would be doing much better.
The problem comes in where she doesn't listen to those of us who have dealt with the place for Christmases past. It's not just me but others on the staff who feel like we belong to the Invisible Nation. How are we not being listened to? Well, one of the big things is scheduling. We don't find out until last minute when we'll be working. None of us but her and the two main kiosk people (for good reason) can plan anything because there is no rhyme or reason. I have it easier than most that way because of my position but even I am not immune. She does the schedule a day or two before the next week and there are holes that need to be scrambled to be fixed. Factor in extenuating circumstances and you have a recipe for disaster. I had everyone at a fairly set schedule but for requests off. Was I over in hours? Yes because we were having staffing problems and I was taking the time to make sure that people had training before being fed to the wolves. Is she good about trying to accommodate everyone? Yes. Very much so. But the planning needs to happen sooner.
Second problem is that we are caught in a catch-22. Our DM has been hammering at us about task work but if we get that done, we are ignoring the customers who are supposed to come first. Even when the numbers support us in why we don't get stuff done (because we don't have the hours to staff for it all -- that is corporate's fault), we get shit for it. We can't win. We have someone who hasn't worked in a store (that one in particular since the DM used to be it's manager) for well over two years coming in and bitching -- where customers can hear her -- about how disorganized things are when we're all obviously busting our butts helping people (I am speaking specifically of last night). It doesn't help that our manager runs to her with things that could be handled internally if she would just look to those around her for help.
And that's the crux of the problem.
A few of her former employees are working with us. They are a great bunch. One of them and I were talking about the matter the other night. She doesn't think that any of the store's original crew respects the manager. She doesn't understand that because the entire former crew would have done anything for their manager. Well, yeah, they worked with her longer and also under circumstances that weren't as stressful and dire as this. But respect isn't always an automatic thing. It has to be earned a lot of time. And it can fluctuate. Obviously jerking around people who could help doesn't aid the situation. This employee had some good points and she's right on a lot of it. The problem? While our manager tries to take into account everyone's schedule, she doesn't necessarily try to see all sides of each situation. Why? She has trouble focusing on one thing at a time (something who former employees readily admit is a problem for her). Things are so scattered that no one has a clue at any given moment what they are supposed to be doing beyond customer service. Couple that with a lack of allowed hours from corporate and a DM who keeps harping on numbers and other things (adding stress to our fearless leader who needs to be left alone to adjust) and it's no wonder that most of the crew would walk out right now.
And is that the point? I don't know. I do know that the DM doesn't like me. Well, the feeling is obviously mutual, non? But I try very hard to be fair about the whole thing. She has come in and helped us a lot from time to time. She is fighting with corporate over the lack of hours and planning us to death. I have openly appreciated these things. Unfortunately, more often than not, mostly she comes in just to criticize. There is no reward for doing well, only punishment for having problems. If things were more balanced, it would be fine cause that's how life works.
What I find amusing is that corporate sent out a "How to Survive the Holidays" poster a few weeks back. You know what? I think the higher ups need to have that branded into their brains cause they sure as heck haven't read the thing. It's all a big cycle. Are there going to be problems? Hell, yes. But they don't have to be compounded by hierarchical bullshit.
What is there to do when you start to hate going to work and become a miserable and bitchy wretch?
Why is that? I really hate my job right now. No, let me clarify that. . .I hate the damn situation. I really like working with the customers, helping them find books, and and even doing some of the business aspect of the job. What I hate is being treated like I am invisible and have no real experience. Like I don't know a freaking thing about XYZ. Give me a break. Am I perfect? No. Do I know everything? No. Am I willing to own up to my mistakes? Yes. So what's the problem?
First off, as you know, we have a "new" manager. She's actually been with the company for longer than me (five years to my two). But, she's never worked this store before or managed the kiosks though she has worked at them. Every store is different and has different needs. One of the major differences between her other one and this one is that we have a higher traffic. She seems jazzed and overwhelmed at the same time by that. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that she can't handle the situation, that she isn't capable of it. What I'm saying is that this is a different situation than she's been in before. She was tossed in head first without much warning. That is not her fault. If she'd had time to lead into the season, we all would be doing much better.
The problem comes in where she doesn't listen to those of us who have dealt with the place for Christmases past. It's not just me but others on the staff who feel like we belong to the Invisible Nation. How are we not being listened to? Well, one of the big things is scheduling. We don't find out until last minute when we'll be working. None of us but her and the two main kiosk people (for good reason) can plan anything because there is no rhyme or reason. I have it easier than most that way because of my position but even I am not immune. She does the schedule a day or two before the next week and there are holes that need to be scrambled to be fixed. Factor in extenuating circumstances and you have a recipe for disaster. I had everyone at a fairly set schedule but for requests off. Was I over in hours? Yes because we were having staffing problems and I was taking the time to make sure that people had training before being fed to the wolves. Is she good about trying to accommodate everyone? Yes. Very much so. But the planning needs to happen sooner.
Second problem is that we are caught in a catch-22. Our DM has been hammering at us about task work but if we get that done, we are ignoring the customers who are supposed to come first. Even when the numbers support us in why we don't get stuff done (because we don't have the hours to staff for it all -- that is corporate's fault), we get shit for it. We can't win. We have someone who hasn't worked in a store (that one in particular since the DM used to be it's manager) for well over two years coming in and bitching -- where customers can hear her -- about how disorganized things are when we're all obviously busting our butts helping people (I am speaking specifically of last night). It doesn't help that our manager runs to her with things that could be handled internally if she would just look to those around her for help.
And that's the crux of the problem.
A few of her former employees are working with us. They are a great bunch. One of them and I were talking about the matter the other night. She doesn't think that any of the store's original crew respects the manager. She doesn't understand that because the entire former crew would have done anything for their manager. Well, yeah, they worked with her longer and also under circumstances that weren't as stressful and dire as this. But respect isn't always an automatic thing. It has to be earned a lot of time. And it can fluctuate. Obviously jerking around people who could help doesn't aid the situation. This employee had some good points and she's right on a lot of it. The problem? While our manager tries to take into account everyone's schedule, she doesn't necessarily try to see all sides of each situation. Why? She has trouble focusing on one thing at a time (something who former employees readily admit is a problem for her). Things are so scattered that no one has a clue at any given moment what they are supposed to be doing beyond customer service. Couple that with a lack of allowed hours from corporate and a DM who keeps harping on numbers and other things (adding stress to our fearless leader who needs to be left alone to adjust) and it's no wonder that most of the crew would walk out right now.
And is that the point? I don't know. I do know that the DM doesn't like me. Well, the feeling is obviously mutual, non? But I try very hard to be fair about the whole thing. She has come in and helped us a lot from time to time. She is fighting with corporate over the lack of hours and planning us to death. I have openly appreciated these things. Unfortunately, more often than not, mostly she comes in just to criticize. There is no reward for doing well, only punishment for having problems. If things were more balanced, it would be fine cause that's how life works.
What I find amusing is that corporate sent out a "How to Survive the Holidays" poster a few weeks back. You know what? I think the higher ups need to have that branded into their brains cause they sure as heck haven't read the thing. It's all a big cycle. Are there going to be problems? Hell, yes. But they don't have to be compounded by hierarchical bullshit.
What is there to do when you start to hate going to work and become a miserable and bitchy wretch?
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Attack of the Killer Underwire
Well, I survived the other week. Barely, but it did happen. I worked a lot on the 8th and made Jonathan crack up. See, at one point during my shift, I felt this jabbing sensation on my jaw and was like, what the heck?!? Well, I looked down and my right underwire had poked through my shirt and stuff. I kept pushing it back in throughout the day. Finally, while I was in the back unboxing the shipment and Jon was on break, I just pulled it out and held it up. Jon didn't know what it was until I told him and he just couldn't help but laugh uproariously. I think it was the look of exasperation on my face and the fact that I called it the attack of the killer underwire. So, there ya go, Jon, I posted about it.
Poor Mike was a little late getting back here because of snow up in NH. He thought he was coming home to warmer weather but it was in the 30s here. (laugh) But it was so good seeing him come home. We were just so happy to be together. Saturday started out well. I went to the last Sat. class and listened to the last of the speeches. When I got back we decided to go to lunch. Well, on the way is when things got frustrating. Going over some railroad tracks, my car picked up a huge bolt that flattened my tire. Mike exchanged my donut for the tire. He's my hero, man. Just doesn't get ruffled by these things like the men in my family. He was like, "Oh, well, it happens." I think he enjoyed playing savior to the damsel in distress and I enjoyed him doing it. (grin) Well, I had gotten my tires from Sears with road hazard protection. But it sucked because I hadn't wanted to go near the mall. We got in with no problem. I asked them to change the oil since the car needed one and we were there. Might as well get something good out of going to the garage. After lunch, the second stupid thing happened, I left my card in the ATM machine. Didn't realize it until I went to pay for my car later. Sheesh. I was feeling very icky by this time so I was highly annoyed at myself. Mike was cool though so that helped.
Because we ran around so much on Saturday, we just rested on Sunday. The week went by quickly. I'm still having some pain and light stuff but it's been ok until today. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she gave me stronger pain killers for the next fun round after Christmas. My blood pressure was down to normal so that made her happy. That surprises me since the week has been hectic but hey, who am I to argue. I will be going back right before the semester starts to update her on what's going on. She thinks that things will start to straighten out after this next round and I begin the second bc pack. Hope so. I worked 10 hours yesterday and it killed me. I woke to pain and more than just light spotting. So, I called out sick.
And you know what happened?
Yup, you got it. . .I got berated for doing so. I pushed myself all the week that I was barely functioning because things needed to get done and made myself worse. But I call out to prevent it from getting worse and what do I get? A lecture about how it's the second Saturday before Christmas and there is so much to get done. To be fair, Jessica had asked me yesterday (after I told her what the doctor aid)if I was going to need to take some personal time and I said no. But that's because I was feeling ok and stuff. I honestly didn't expect to have this kick in worse last night and today.
Oh, and a chewing out about how we didn't get enough shelving done last night and why did I let one of my colleagues go? Well, let's see. . .could it have been because she was miserable about having to work? How she came in on her day off the day before and sacrificed time with her husband who she never sees? She was in a sour mood and traffic was light. Yes, she was doing work but how much does someone accomplish when they are miserable? Not as much as usual. She's a good worker and person. She only got to leave and hour and a half early. Trust me, not much more would have gotten done in that time. So, it was a bad judgment call on my part. Whatever. Oh, and I'm also supposed to be more of a bitch to people to get them to work harder. Uh, yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help. Never mind that we made plan last night (barely). No, I should have been able to get all of the boxes unpacked AND shelved a ton of stuff. Four of us should have been able to get a lot accomplished except that, well, Jon and I needed a break (so that loses us an hour of work time), and the customers (how dare they) actually expect people to help them. And never mind that my numbers were the best for the day. And have been for a long time.
Can you see why I might be having health problems right now? Mike got angry with me earlier today because I ended up on the phone with people instead of resting. Too much dealing with work. So, he turned off the phone. And I took a nap. And now I'm telling you all about it.
So what will I do? Plug on like always. I'll keep pushing myself until after the holidays. After that? I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be in this job which sucks because I really like working at the store, with the people (customers and coworkers), and being around books. But stuff has just been really stressful and I don't think it's all because it's the holiday season. I have earned vacation time and since we want to go somewhere in March, I'll stick it out for at least that long but afterwards? Job hunt, I think. We'll see. I am just not appreciated for how much effort I do put in and the same goes for some of the others. It never seems enough and I so don't deserve that shit.
Poor Mike was a little late getting back here because of snow up in NH. He thought he was coming home to warmer weather but it was in the 30s here. (laugh) But it was so good seeing him come home. We were just so happy to be together. Saturday started out well. I went to the last Sat. class and listened to the last of the speeches. When I got back we decided to go to lunch. Well, on the way is when things got frustrating. Going over some railroad tracks, my car picked up a huge bolt that flattened my tire. Mike exchanged my donut for the tire. He's my hero, man. Just doesn't get ruffled by these things like the men in my family. He was like, "Oh, well, it happens." I think he enjoyed playing savior to the damsel in distress and I enjoyed him doing it. (grin) Well, I had gotten my tires from Sears with road hazard protection. But it sucked because I hadn't wanted to go near the mall. We got in with no problem. I asked them to change the oil since the car needed one and we were there. Might as well get something good out of going to the garage. After lunch, the second stupid thing happened, I left my card in the ATM machine. Didn't realize it until I went to pay for my car later. Sheesh. I was feeling very icky by this time so I was highly annoyed at myself. Mike was cool though so that helped.
Because we ran around so much on Saturday, we just rested on Sunday. The week went by quickly. I'm still having some pain and light stuff but it's been ok until today. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she gave me stronger pain killers for the next fun round after Christmas. My blood pressure was down to normal so that made her happy. That surprises me since the week has been hectic but hey, who am I to argue. I will be going back right before the semester starts to update her on what's going on. She thinks that things will start to straighten out after this next round and I begin the second bc pack. Hope so. I worked 10 hours yesterday and it killed me. I woke to pain and more than just light spotting. So, I called out sick.
And you know what happened?
Yup, you got it. . .I got berated for doing so. I pushed myself all the week that I was barely functioning because things needed to get done and made myself worse. But I call out to prevent it from getting worse and what do I get? A lecture about how it's the second Saturday before Christmas and there is so much to get done. To be fair, Jessica had asked me yesterday (after I told her what the doctor aid)if I was going to need to take some personal time and I said no. But that's because I was feeling ok and stuff. I honestly didn't expect to have this kick in worse last night and today.
Oh, and a chewing out about how we didn't get enough shelving done last night and why did I let one of my colleagues go? Well, let's see. . .could it have been because she was miserable about having to work? How she came in on her day off the day before and sacrificed time with her husband who she never sees? She was in a sour mood and traffic was light. Yes, she was doing work but how much does someone accomplish when they are miserable? Not as much as usual. She's a good worker and person. She only got to leave and hour and a half early. Trust me, not much more would have gotten done in that time. So, it was a bad judgment call on my part. Whatever. Oh, and I'm also supposed to be more of a bitch to people to get them to work harder. Uh, yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help. Never mind that we made plan last night (barely). No, I should have been able to get all of the boxes unpacked AND shelved a ton of stuff. Four of us should have been able to get a lot accomplished except that, well, Jon and I needed a break (so that loses us an hour of work time), and the customers (how dare they) actually expect people to help them. And never mind that my numbers were the best for the day. And have been for a long time.
Can you see why I might be having health problems right now? Mike got angry with me earlier today because I ended up on the phone with people instead of resting. Too much dealing with work. So, he turned off the phone. And I took a nap. And now I'm telling you all about it.
So what will I do? Plug on like always. I'll keep pushing myself until after the holidays. After that? I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be in this job which sucks because I really like working at the store, with the people (customers and coworkers), and being around books. But stuff has just been really stressful and I don't think it's all because it's the holiday season. I have earned vacation time and since we want to go somewhere in March, I'll stick it out for at least that long but afterwards? Job hunt, I think. We'll see. I am just not appreciated for how much effort I do put in and the same goes for some of the others. It never seems enough and I so don't deserve that shit.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
R & R
I was supposed to work today but Jessica decided to work my entire shift since I've been busting my butt on top of being in a lot of pain. I was supposed to have had Sunday off but ended up working because there was no one else to. My shift was originally only supposed to be three hours long but I ended up working 9. It would have been ok if I hadn't been feeling like someone was using a poker to stir around my insides. On Monday I called the doctor and she gave me a Darvocet prescription. Yesterday, I actually called Jessica to see if she could come in early for me cause the Darvocet just wasn't cutting it. And, as I said to Melissa (new coworker), "I've already gone through two more arks and Noah's nowhere to be found." That was within a three hour tome span. But she didn't make it in early so instead she gave me the day off. She felt really badly about everything. That made up for a lot from the past few days. I've been working hard and my body has not been happy with me.
So, I slept for a really long time today. The pain is less but then again, I haven't been moving around much. Did the dishes and am working on the laundry but not much else is getting done work wise. Which is ok cause I need to rest. I do have the weekend off because Mike is out of town all week for a training school so I requested off so that we could make up for the lost time. Not that he misses me right now. He has new expensive machines to play with and that occupies his mind very well. lol I don't mind. It makes him happy to learn stuff and gives him a recharge that he needs every once in a while. Lord knows I have similar things that do the same for me. So, it's all good.
I finally got to Laurent and Natalie today. She's preggers again! Yay! So happy for them. The baby is due in April, a little over two years after the birth of their first child. I hope they have a girl this time. Laurent's family seems very prone to boys. It would be nice for them to have a girl to have one of each since they don't want more than two. It was so good to talk with them. I really miss them a lot. We are all so busy that time just slips by. But the good news is that I should be able to see them in March. I think I mentioned before that Mike and I plan to take a real vacation for my spring break. Well, we settled on England because I sigh over it every time it's mentioned and Mike would like to go out if the country. And I so want to take him to see some of the places I love over there. I so want him to meet Laurent and Natalie but I wasn't sure if they could meet us in Paris (like they did in '98 when Ken, Rose, Tara, and I went over to England) or not. It isn't too much more to fly in/out of London and in/out of Paris as a multiple destination trip. However, it is way too expensive to have Geneva as one of the stops. And Laurent and Natalie no longer have the space for visitors that they used to have so finding a decently priced hotel nearby was proving a little hard (though still possible if I could finagle Easy Jet flights to/from Geneva for over a weekend). The good news is that they are moving into a bigger place at the end of January and Laurent has invited us to stay with them! We can visit during the week because he has a lot of vacation time to use (unlike us pitiful Americans) and would be able to take 2/3 days off. Yay! We can go to Switzerland. I love that country and so want to take Mike there. And Laurent and Natalie are two of the most important people for Mike to meet. Laurent has been mon petit frere for over thirteen years and I think of Natalie as a sister. (I know that frere has an accent but the damn puter won't let me do it and I'm not sure how right now so sorry.) They are two of the best people I know and their "approval" of Mike is important to me. I know they'll all get along splendidly and I so want have that moment.
I am in such a good mood right now. I got to talk with two of my bestest friends in the whole world, I will get to see them in a few months, and I get to have a real vacation with the man I love. What more could I ask for right now? *big grin* Ok, I've thought of something. . .considering my talk with Val last night, for her and Dale to be able to go to England too and all of us have some London fun. Now that would just be the cherry.
So, I slept for a really long time today. The pain is less but then again, I haven't been moving around much. Did the dishes and am working on the laundry but not much else is getting done work wise. Which is ok cause I need to rest. I do have the weekend off because Mike is out of town all week for a training school so I requested off so that we could make up for the lost time. Not that he misses me right now. He has new expensive machines to play with and that occupies his mind very well. lol I don't mind. It makes him happy to learn stuff and gives him a recharge that he needs every once in a while. Lord knows I have similar things that do the same for me. So, it's all good.
I finally got to Laurent and Natalie today. She's preggers again! Yay! So happy for them. The baby is due in April, a little over two years after the birth of their first child. I hope they have a girl this time. Laurent's family seems very prone to boys. It would be nice for them to have a girl to have one of each since they don't want more than two. It was so good to talk with them. I really miss them a lot. We are all so busy that time just slips by. But the good news is that I should be able to see them in March. I think I mentioned before that Mike and I plan to take a real vacation for my spring break. Well, we settled on England because I sigh over it every time it's mentioned and Mike would like to go out if the country. And I so want to take him to see some of the places I love over there. I so want him to meet Laurent and Natalie but I wasn't sure if they could meet us in Paris (like they did in '98 when Ken, Rose, Tara, and I went over to England) or not. It isn't too much more to fly in/out of London and in/out of Paris as a multiple destination trip. However, it is way too expensive to have Geneva as one of the stops. And Laurent and Natalie no longer have the space for visitors that they used to have so finding a decently priced hotel nearby was proving a little hard (though still possible if I could finagle Easy Jet flights to/from Geneva for over a weekend). The good news is that they are moving into a bigger place at the end of January and Laurent has invited us to stay with them! We can visit during the week because he has a lot of vacation time to use (unlike us pitiful Americans) and would be able to take 2/3 days off. Yay! We can go to Switzerland. I love that country and so want to take Mike there. And Laurent and Natalie are two of the most important people for Mike to meet. Laurent has been mon petit frere for over thirteen years and I think of Natalie as a sister. (I know that frere has an accent but the damn puter won't let me do it and I'm not sure how right now so sorry.) They are two of the best people I know and their "approval" of Mike is important to me. I know they'll all get along splendidly and I so want have that moment.
I am in such a good mood right now. I got to talk with two of my bestest friends in the whole world, I will get to see them in a few months, and I get to have a real vacation with the man I love. What more could I ask for right now? *big grin* Ok, I've thought of something. . .considering my talk with Val last night, for her and Dale to be able to go to England too and all of us have some London fun. Now that would just be the cherry.
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