I decided that we needed some time away. I gave Michael a choice between the beach and the mountains and he chose the former. Turned out that Marriott was having some awesome deals in Myrtle Beach. I signed up for their rewards program last year and it has done us pretty well this year as we seem to keep ending up at a Marriott even when it isn't planned that way. The place is really nice. It's a new resort that they've just built. Actually, there are two main buildings but we stayed in the suites part where they are offering timeshares. No, we didn't do this as a deal for that. The deal I got us was an online special for off season rates. But we really like the place so we'll probably be back.
Our time has been good though not all pleasant. See, I ended up with a cold right before we left. Of course. Murphy's Law, right? Part of it had to do with stress of course. Part was brought on by getting lots of fibers up my nose from fluffing our bears at the store. Should have known that would irritate things. So, I ended up with a nasty sinus infection. Right before going to the beach. (sigh) I did go to the doctor on Friday and get stuff. We couldn't change the reservations without losing some money so we figured the salt air might do me good. Mostly we took it easy this weekend and just chilled. Did some shopping but didn't push ourselves. It was freaking cold yesterday (ok, I know, not as much as some of you have but with high winds brrr). So, we didn't shop much. Just went in a few places and made sure to get food.
I had Michael call Jon to say I wouldn't be in today. I was hacking up a lung on Saturday night. And my head was still feeling full of wool. I didn't want to have to worry about the store. I feel better today but if I were to pull a full shift, Lord knows I would probably make myself worse again. Bad enough that Michael has it now. And I am so not looking forward to the drive back with my head icky. Ah, well. I have off tomorrow because I have doctor appointments. And I have grading to do. I didn't bring it with me cause I just needed a complete get away. But I have to get the grades in.
So, here I sit in the quiet with the ocean outside. I've got to leave in a few minutes because we check out today. Michael is on his way to work. I'll probably stop off at Broadway at the Beach and do a little shopping. Not much though cause I feel icky still. Well, need to run. Hugs.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
I Am an Idiot
Not that this is a big surprise. lol Ok, so let's see if I can make all of this fairly short. Sure.
You can probably guess in what area of my life I'm an idiot: work. Specifically, the bookstore. Well, duh. Yancey seems to be ok. I like him and he's goofy enough to fit in with everyone. He has a lot of management experience. I just hope it's enough for him to survive this store. Not the company, but this store. Only time will tell. Everyone is still cautiously optimistic. And, God love them, they were all fairly normal on his first day two Fridays ago. I was so proud of them all. They let him slip into the group without any drama. The only tension Yancey felt was the usual suspicion of an established crew for a new leader. And even that wasn't mild. Amanda was the best because she was just her usual goofy, perverted self. I don't think that she was aware of it, but she tested him the best for us. lol She wasn't feeling well so she was ditsier than usual (which, if you knew her says something). Well, she came into the back at one point while we (Yancey and I) were working on the shipment. I don't know what prompted it but she went on a tangent about how she loves men with tattoos, piercings, and who play drums. I looked at Yancey (who has a big tattoo on his right arm and ear piercings) and said, "Well, you have two. Do you drum?" "Uh, no. And I'm too old and not cute enough." Amanda told him to turn around so she could look at his face. She studied it very seriously for a moment before saying, "No, you're handsome. You remind me of. . .Patrick Stewart. Oh my God! Patrick Stewart is soooo hot! I would so have his kids! Even if I had to do it by artificial insemination!" I was nearly dying I was laughing so hard. Poor Yancey looked like he had been hit upside the head. Ok, well, he actually looked like that most of the day. He really didn't know what he was getting himself into. That's what he gets for saying that he wanted "to work with more intelligent people" (he said that to his other crew before he left). He just didn't stop to think what the trade off would be. As he put it, I have a very "interesting" crew. Yup, and I love em for all of their unique idiosyncrasies. (big grin)
So, that part went well. I made sure that Yancey knew why I had turned in my resignation. And the more I've gotten to know him, the more relief I feel that I am no longer in charge. I hold no resentment towards him whatsoever. I would even stay part-time if the higher ups would let me. But they don't usually let people step down and stay. I think it's dumb to have a blanket policy like that. It should be a case by case. I can see why it's not a good idea in some cases because people can be awfully bitchy about being subordinate to someone who took their job. Heck, one of the other managers actually said to me, "I'm going to say what everyone is thinking but won't say: don't hate Yancey for getting the position." She said that because I mentioned that I would like to stay part-time so I can continue doing the customer service that I like doing. I was so surprised that I goggled for a minute. Um, no. Yancey applied for a job that had come open. It wasn't personal. He wanted a change and saw a chance to get back to something he'd loved at one time and took it. It had nothing to do with me. I mean, I can see how some people can see it that way but they have issues. I told the other manager all of this and I added, "Oh, wait, that must be because they aren't used to having adults around here." (snort) Give me a break. The relief I feel right now just shows that I wasn't into getting the job with my whole heart. Well, no, I have other responsibilities and it's been tearing me up trying to satisfy them all.
Now, if Yancey had come in like a bull. . .yeah, leaving would so be the option. But I like him so far. So, I talked with the DM about staying for one or two nights a week. She's not sure HR will go for it but we'll see.
So, where does the idiot part come in? Well, probably a little with that. But mostly because I am staying as assistant through the end of this month. (sigh) I was supposed to step down on Friday but I couldn't. Yancey was happy to have me do the schedules for him. Well, Chad's last day was Tuesday. He got a promotion at his "real" job and just couldn't see how he could do both until he gets used to the schedule. That would have been ok cause he only worked two days a week. He's a great employee so his presence will be missed but in terms of hours, it was ok cause the others will gladly fill the gap. And we have to let someone else go cause she has flaked out totally. But that was something I'd been scheduling around for a while. We are losing Russ next month because he's moving but that wasn't a big scheduling deal because by the time he leaves, we'll back to short hours. He wants beaucoup hours so he was gonna fill in for the others. And when Felicia leaves for PA for three weeks, Jon and Lindsay were planning on filling that gap with full hours. But then we lost Kim. For various personal reasons, she's moving back in with her parents who live two hours away. We didn't find that out until Monday and yesterday needed to be her last day. (sigh) That was a blow because not only do we all like her too, she is one of the kiosk people. Now, the kiosk can function with just the three who are left but they were all also going to fill in at the store so we wouldn't be short.
Well, everyone knows that means that we need new hires. But until Yancey gets them in and they get trained. . .that left us way too short while I was doing the schedules. I thought that if I just scheduled for the lowest possible end of hours we would use, that would be enough. But no, we came way to far under. There is just no way that the store can do well without me staying at least another week. There was too much of a gap in coverage. And you can throw someone into the pool but they can't swim like a seasoned vet. You can't get the gold with a greenie. So, I put myself on the schedule after I told Yancey. Now, he's happy to have me stay. He even told the DM he's ok with me staying on part-time. I called her to tell her that I was going to have to stay at least next week because of the scheduling problem. Well, she said that was fine and asked if I just wanted to push back my date. Yes, please. So, I get to set a new date. (sigh) It would have been so easy to leave if I hated Yancey. If I could feel completely angry and humiliated. But I don't. I just feel like I can't walk away without helping. I can't do it. And that makes me an idiot. How many times do I have to be smacked down before I learn? lol Well, those of you who've known me for years know that I have a very stubborn streak. And I can't stand to walk away from things easily. Especially people or things that I love. But I refuse to make myself ill over it. The DM admonished me to take it easy and not overdo it because I ended up out on Monday because I was in a lot of pain and had pulled one of my scars open a little. I stayed home to rest but was still blech on Wednesday.
No, I won't push it. I am taking off next weekend and dragging Mike to the beach for a much needed break. I need a few days away to recharge my batteries. So, yeah, I will take it easy.
Classes are over. I have one huge day coming up this Tuesday. Get everything graded and then I can end this hellish semester. Hence the break coming next weekend.
One advantage to staying as assistant for the rest of the month: I get two holiday days out of it. (grin) I didn't even think of that until Friday. And my vacation days will completely kick in so I won't owe the company them when I step down. But still, I was almost free for the holidays. I am such an idiot. I could have avoided all of the holiday work stress. Masochist. I'm a masochistic idiot. lol
You can probably guess in what area of my life I'm an idiot: work. Specifically, the bookstore. Well, duh. Yancey seems to be ok. I like him and he's goofy enough to fit in with everyone. He has a lot of management experience. I just hope it's enough for him to survive this store. Not the company, but this store. Only time will tell. Everyone is still cautiously optimistic. And, God love them, they were all fairly normal on his first day two Fridays ago. I was so proud of them all. They let him slip into the group without any drama. The only tension Yancey felt was the usual suspicion of an established crew for a new leader. And even that wasn't mild. Amanda was the best because she was just her usual goofy, perverted self. I don't think that she was aware of it, but she tested him the best for us. lol She wasn't feeling well so she was ditsier than usual (which, if you knew her says something). Well, she came into the back at one point while we (Yancey and I) were working on the shipment. I don't know what prompted it but she went on a tangent about how she loves men with tattoos, piercings, and who play drums. I looked at Yancey (who has a big tattoo on his right arm and ear piercings) and said, "Well, you have two. Do you drum?" "Uh, no. And I'm too old and not cute enough." Amanda told him to turn around so she could look at his face. She studied it very seriously for a moment before saying, "No, you're handsome. You remind me of. . .Patrick Stewart. Oh my God! Patrick Stewart is soooo hot! I would so have his kids! Even if I had to do it by artificial insemination!" I was nearly dying I was laughing so hard. Poor Yancey looked like he had been hit upside the head. Ok, well, he actually looked like that most of the day. He really didn't know what he was getting himself into. That's what he gets for saying that he wanted "to work with more intelligent people" (he said that to his other crew before he left). He just didn't stop to think what the trade off would be. As he put it, I have a very "interesting" crew. Yup, and I love em for all of their unique idiosyncrasies. (big grin)
So, that part went well. I made sure that Yancey knew why I had turned in my resignation. And the more I've gotten to know him, the more relief I feel that I am no longer in charge. I hold no resentment towards him whatsoever. I would even stay part-time if the higher ups would let me. But they don't usually let people step down and stay. I think it's dumb to have a blanket policy like that. It should be a case by case. I can see why it's not a good idea in some cases because people can be awfully bitchy about being subordinate to someone who took their job. Heck, one of the other managers actually said to me, "I'm going to say what everyone is thinking but won't say: don't hate Yancey for getting the position." She said that because I mentioned that I would like to stay part-time so I can continue doing the customer service that I like doing. I was so surprised that I goggled for a minute. Um, no. Yancey applied for a job that had come open. It wasn't personal. He wanted a change and saw a chance to get back to something he'd loved at one time and took it. It had nothing to do with me. I mean, I can see how some people can see it that way but they have issues. I told the other manager all of this and I added, "Oh, wait, that must be because they aren't used to having adults around here." (snort) Give me a break. The relief I feel right now just shows that I wasn't into getting the job with my whole heart. Well, no, I have other responsibilities and it's been tearing me up trying to satisfy them all.
Now, if Yancey had come in like a bull. . .yeah, leaving would so be the option. But I like him so far. So, I talked with the DM about staying for one or two nights a week. She's not sure HR will go for it but we'll see.
So, where does the idiot part come in? Well, probably a little with that. But mostly because I am staying as assistant through the end of this month. (sigh) I was supposed to step down on Friday but I couldn't. Yancey was happy to have me do the schedules for him. Well, Chad's last day was Tuesday. He got a promotion at his "real" job and just couldn't see how he could do both until he gets used to the schedule. That would have been ok cause he only worked two days a week. He's a great employee so his presence will be missed but in terms of hours, it was ok cause the others will gladly fill the gap. And we have to let someone else go cause she has flaked out totally. But that was something I'd been scheduling around for a while. We are losing Russ next month because he's moving but that wasn't a big scheduling deal because by the time he leaves, we'll back to short hours. He wants beaucoup hours so he was gonna fill in for the others. And when Felicia leaves for PA for three weeks, Jon and Lindsay were planning on filling that gap with full hours. But then we lost Kim. For various personal reasons, she's moving back in with her parents who live two hours away. We didn't find that out until Monday and yesterday needed to be her last day. (sigh) That was a blow because not only do we all like her too, she is one of the kiosk people. Now, the kiosk can function with just the three who are left but they were all also going to fill in at the store so we wouldn't be short.
Well, everyone knows that means that we need new hires. But until Yancey gets them in and they get trained. . .that left us way too short while I was doing the schedules. I thought that if I just scheduled for the lowest possible end of hours we would use, that would be enough. But no, we came way to far under. There is just no way that the store can do well without me staying at least another week. There was too much of a gap in coverage. And you can throw someone into the pool but they can't swim like a seasoned vet. You can't get the gold with a greenie. So, I put myself on the schedule after I told Yancey. Now, he's happy to have me stay. He even told the DM he's ok with me staying on part-time. I called her to tell her that I was going to have to stay at least next week because of the scheduling problem. Well, she said that was fine and asked if I just wanted to push back my date. Yes, please. So, I get to set a new date. (sigh) It would have been so easy to leave if I hated Yancey. If I could feel completely angry and humiliated. But I don't. I just feel like I can't walk away without helping. I can't do it. And that makes me an idiot. How many times do I have to be smacked down before I learn? lol Well, those of you who've known me for years know that I have a very stubborn streak. And I can't stand to walk away from things easily. Especially people or things that I love. But I refuse to make myself ill over it. The DM admonished me to take it easy and not overdo it because I ended up out on Monday because I was in a lot of pain and had pulled one of my scars open a little. I stayed home to rest but was still blech on Wednesday.
No, I won't push it. I am taking off next weekend and dragging Mike to the beach for a much needed break. I need a few days away to recharge my batteries. So, yeah, I will take it easy.
Classes are over. I have one huge day coming up this Tuesday. Get everything graded and then I can end this hellish semester. Hence the break coming next weekend.
One advantage to staying as assistant for the rest of the month: I get two holiday days out of it. (grin) I didn't even think of that until Friday. And my vacation days will completely kick in so I won't owe the company them when I step down. But still, I was almost free for the holidays. I am such an idiot. I could have avoided all of the holiday work stress. Masochist. I'm a masochistic idiot. lol
Monday, November 26, 2007
Inner Duel
So, I have been doing a lot of thinking since last week. Ok, I know, I always do a lot of thinking. Of course this time it has mostly been about work. Inside I keep having a battle about staying and going at the store. Would I change my mind now? Probably not. It's really not in my best interest to stay at the store.
The past year has literally felt like hell for the most part while I've been there. It's really shown me what a stubborn streak I have. I hate to give up on things. So, I wonder why I finally did. I guess it's because I just feel tired. I feel worn out. And there have been too many dark moments over the past four months. Hell, dark even for me. I got through because of Michael and through just phoning it in most of the time. My physical health probably had a lot to do with it but I'm sure they fed on each other. Too many days I had to drag myself to the store. It will be a relief to not have the responsibility. But it tastes bitter.
I think that it's hard because I truly like the people I work with and my customers. I love helping people find books. I love knowing what is new and opening the boxes is almost like Christmas. I just did my last big splurge there (for a long time at least) and got some really awesome books. It's because we are having our employee days. The discount isn't much greater than we usually get but it's enough. I know I'll miss that. And everyone is shocked and sad to see me go. It's sweet. Does it make a big difference in the end for them? No. But it is nice that they care.
Actually, I know of at least one customer who will leave if the new manager doesn't pass muster. She's sick of the changeover.
I will probably look for a part-time job next year that doesn't require too much energy from me. I should try and bring some extra money in if I can. I'm just grateful that Michael is ok with this change. But then again, he's gotten to see the darker side of it all. But, for now, I keep working and looking forward to a break. Hopefully this time I will actually get one that isn't filled with stress. lol Yeah, right. I think I've slipped into a fantasy zone right now. But that's ok. I kind of like it here. ;o)
The past year has literally felt like hell for the most part while I've been there. It's really shown me what a stubborn streak I have. I hate to give up on things. So, I wonder why I finally did. I guess it's because I just feel tired. I feel worn out. And there have been too many dark moments over the past four months. Hell, dark even for me. I got through because of Michael and through just phoning it in most of the time. My physical health probably had a lot to do with it but I'm sure they fed on each other. Too many days I had to drag myself to the store. It will be a relief to not have the responsibility. But it tastes bitter.
I think that it's hard because I truly like the people I work with and my customers. I love helping people find books. I love knowing what is new and opening the boxes is almost like Christmas. I just did my last big splurge there (for a long time at least) and got some really awesome books. It's because we are having our employee days. The discount isn't much greater than we usually get but it's enough. I know I'll miss that. And everyone is shocked and sad to see me go. It's sweet. Does it make a big difference in the end for them? No. But it is nice that they care.
Actually, I know of at least one customer who will leave if the new manager doesn't pass muster. She's sick of the changeover.
I will probably look for a part-time job next year that doesn't require too much energy from me. I should try and bring some extra money in if I can. I'm just grateful that Michael is ok with this change. But then again, he's gotten to see the darker side of it all. But, for now, I keep working and looking forward to a break. Hopefully this time I will actually get one that isn't filled with stress. lol Yeah, right. I think I've slipped into a fantasy zone right now. But that's ok. I kind of like it here. ;o)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The End of an Era
At least, that's what Jon calls it. Me? I call it bittersweet. So, the lumps keep coming this week with the news that they are giving the manager position to someone else. The new guy starts next week. He was an assistant manager for a store in Orlando but a manager for other companies. This is such a smack in the face. I mean, dude hasn't even been manager for us before and his AM position with the company isn't even his last job. I got the whole spiel about how he loves books like the rest of us and is excited that he will have such a dedicated assistant, blah blah.
Yeah. Well, he won't for long because I turned in my notice last night. (sigh)
Believe me, the decision wasn't made lightly. I've actually been preparing for it since last week. I knew what was going to happen.
I'm not sure when things stopped going in my favor. But you know what? C'est la vie.
Michael and I had lunch yesterday and discussed it. Yeah, I could have waited until the new guy gets here. And I don't blame him and there are no hard feelings on my part towards him. Heck, there aren't even any towards the company really. It's just business. I feel more tired than anything else. And that is what clinched it. My reaction at first was utter sadness. I wanted to sob but I had to do my job. And I did it well yesterday. Sure, I have moments of anger but mostly I am just exhausted. Disheartened, I guess you could say. I need a break. Too much too fast.
Pros of staying: My discount. Show of loyalty and my mettle. Work somewhere I love. Continue to have extra money coming in. Keep my coworkers happy to the best of my ability. See that what has been set up for our regulars isn't blown to hell.
Cons of staying: I can get as good a discount other ways. Besides, as long as Mike works at the other store, we have the discount. Obviously my loyalty and worth don't really mean much. Yeah, I love it but it has been stressful as hell. I can get another job -- one that is less stressful and pays almost as well. They need to fend for themselves. I love em all but I have to do what's best for me right now. My customers -- well, that's the only one I feel real regret about but I'm sure they will adapt or go elsewhere. No matter how competent the new guy is, Christmas is just not the best time to have to get to know someone. It skews the learning process. Happened last year with Jessica. I've already done my "loyal to the new manager" bit. He can be an awesome manager and I'll still end up doing as much work as I am now. And you know what? I don't have the time. I have put of my dissertation and my housework for far too long. I am not going to be able to handle five classes next semester plus the diss plus the house. I would have tried my damndest if I had gotten the position because I would feel more responsible and I don't shirk that if I can help it.
But let's be honest. . .I haven't done a very good job of doing all three. Something was gonna have to go. Well, as Val kept reminding me, the bookstore was never meant to be a career choice. I wasn't going for the job with my whole heart. I did it because I thought, well, maybe it was a viable option. But no, I gotta get back to why I came here in the first place. Hopefully I haven't screwed that up. Time to bust my ass and catch up. But I sure am gonna miss being at the store.
Yeah. Well, he won't for long because I turned in my notice last night. (sigh)
Believe me, the decision wasn't made lightly. I've actually been preparing for it since last week. I knew what was going to happen.
I'm not sure when things stopped going in my favor. But you know what? C'est la vie.
Michael and I had lunch yesterday and discussed it. Yeah, I could have waited until the new guy gets here. And I don't blame him and there are no hard feelings on my part towards him. Heck, there aren't even any towards the company really. It's just business. I feel more tired than anything else. And that is what clinched it. My reaction at first was utter sadness. I wanted to sob but I had to do my job. And I did it well yesterday. Sure, I have moments of anger but mostly I am just exhausted. Disheartened, I guess you could say. I need a break. Too much too fast.
Pros of staying: My discount. Show of loyalty and my mettle. Work somewhere I love. Continue to have extra money coming in. Keep my coworkers happy to the best of my ability. See that what has been set up for our regulars isn't blown to hell.
Cons of staying: I can get as good a discount other ways. Besides, as long as Mike works at the other store, we have the discount. Obviously my loyalty and worth don't really mean much. Yeah, I love it but it has been stressful as hell. I can get another job -- one that is less stressful and pays almost as well. They need to fend for themselves. I love em all but I have to do what's best for me right now. My customers -- well, that's the only one I feel real regret about but I'm sure they will adapt or go elsewhere. No matter how competent the new guy is, Christmas is just not the best time to have to get to know someone. It skews the learning process. Happened last year with Jessica. I've already done my "loyal to the new manager" bit. He can be an awesome manager and I'll still end up doing as much work as I am now. And you know what? I don't have the time. I have put of my dissertation and my housework for far too long. I am not going to be able to handle five classes next semester plus the diss plus the house. I would have tried my damndest if I had gotten the position because I would feel more responsible and I don't shirk that if I can help it.
But let's be honest. . .I haven't done a very good job of doing all three. Something was gonna have to go. Well, as Val kept reminding me, the bookstore was never meant to be a career choice. I wasn't going for the job with my whole heart. I did it because I thought, well, maybe it was a viable option. But no, I gotta get back to why I came here in the first place. Hopefully I haven't screwed that up. Time to bust my ass and catch up. But I sure am gonna miss being at the store.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Valerie and Dale
So, I caught you up on the work stuff but you never got to hear about Val and Dale's wedding because of all my drama last week. Sheesh.
The wedding was on October 27th. It's one of the reasons that Mike and I decided to have ours next year (if you don;t remember that part of the reasoning).
The two had met in March (I believe) of last year at a sci fi convention in Maryland. Got to see the exact spot they met which was pretty cool. Anyway, after a whirlwind courtship, they were engaged and had that date set. Val would have preferred to elope but Dale wanted a traditional wedding. I know, that's the opposite of how it usually happens but he has two sisters and a traditional kind of family so I guess that's why. Let me tell you. . .by the time the wedding came around, he was ruing the choice. lol Especially as Val reminded him a gazillion times about who's idea it had been. I actually felt sorry for him. (heehee)
As you are probably aware, that date happened to fall right after the rainstorms had come through the east coast. I told Val that she should have had the wedding sooner cause then the drought might not have lasted as long. (she wasn't amused) It was to be an evening wedding. So, you can imagine how nail biting it was to have it still pouring late into the night on the 26th. Val was miserable that day. The whole thing was set to take place at the Cloisters: a beautiful castle-like structure set in the woods. The place was perfect for her. Problem was, they hadn't really planned for an indoor wedding. The reception was supposed to be inside but not the ceremony. We went to the Cloisters to develop a contingency plan. The place was gorgeous. And it can work for indoor stuff too. They have events all the time and are used to having to accomodate such things. Problem was, indoors is not what was planned and Val said that she could have chosen any number of other places if that was what had been wanted.
Let me make something clear: Val had not been your typically giddy bride. She was not looking forward to the whole shindig at all. Oh, she was looking forward to getting married but not to the rigamorole. And to be fair, she didn't have an easy time of it all. They may have met in Maryland but they planned most of it all long distance. She ended up in Huntsville, Alabama, earlier this year and has had to plan for several major life changes all at once. So, her being stressed was understandable. I just wish she had been happier about it all but the anticipation of the wedding just couldn't overcome all the other stuff.
Fortunately, the weather cleared by noon on the 27th. Us girls -- Val, me (MOH), Jessica (childhood friend), and Anne-Marie (work friend) -- trooped to the hair dressers and Val's spirits started to pick up. She got the normal nerves thing going on and everything but seemed in a much happier place. When we all got back to the hotel and were finally done up, she was doing much better. And oh, she made such a lovely bride. She'd chosen a beautiful lace sheath dress. She was simply stunning in it. When I get some pics, I'll post one. I figured that picture taking was the least of my responsibilities that day.
We all went to the Cloisters for the picture taking. Because it was an evening wedding, we had to do the pics beforehand. Ok, here's where things are a little complicated. Dale is Catholic but Valerie converted to Judaism (from Lutheran) about two years ago. So, the ceremony and stuff was actually Jewish. Because there's a part where Dale and her are together for the actual ceremony, him seeing her beforehand wasn't a big deal. So, that whole tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding didn't matter.
The photographer was awesome. He did an amazing job of setting it all up. My favorite moment was when Dale got to see her for the first time. He had the properly stunned look on his face and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. It was like it was only the two of them around. Such a movie moment. One of the reasons being outside was so important was because the Cloisters has a windmill and Val so wanted the wedding party pics to be there. That was fun. After that came the family photos and the rest of us ended upstairs.
I'm sure I could have stayed downstairs to help but I thought that I would just be in the way. It was a tossup cause I know she wanted me to help keep her mom from driving her nuts but I didn't know how I could do that for the photo stuff. So, I just waited. Finally they all came upstairs.
All of the wedding party and immediate family gathered around in one of the rooms so that we could watch them sign the Jewish marriage agreement. It was a cool little part of the ceremony. Then came the aisle walking and all that jazz. I messed up a little with Val's train because I forgot that she needed me to hand it to her so she could walk around Dale three times at the beginning. I wanted to straighten it out pretty. lol It didn't seem to be a big deal. We hadn't had a rehearsal (just a verbal run through) so hopefully I'm forgiven. The rest went off pretty well. The only thing I felt the OCD need to tweak was when her veil went back. It didn't completely go straight on one side and I didn't want it to look goofy in the pictures so I quickly steeped up and tweaked it down straight. lol Val didn't even know I had done that til later.
The reception was very elegant: open bar, cheese, dessert. Very simple but beautifully done. My speech was impromptu and not the best thing in the world (bad speech teacher) but I wanted to go with the flow of the moment and emotion rather than something rehearsed. I had a few things planned but mostly I just went with the moment. Afterwards, Val danced with her father and also with Dale. It was the only dancing that happened. I thought maybe seeing her with her dad would make me feel sad since I won't be able to do that but it just made me smile. Besides, it's when I got to help her mom out so that was good. Her mom had done really well not to cry until then. It was sweet.
Overall, the wedding went off without any major snafus. There were minor things but it was an awesome event. Just as elegant as Val could have wished.
The wedding was on October 27th. It's one of the reasons that Mike and I decided to have ours next year (if you don;t remember that part of the reasoning).
The two had met in March (I believe) of last year at a sci fi convention in Maryland. Got to see the exact spot they met which was pretty cool. Anyway, after a whirlwind courtship, they were engaged and had that date set. Val would have preferred to elope but Dale wanted a traditional wedding. I know, that's the opposite of how it usually happens but he has two sisters and a traditional kind of family so I guess that's why. Let me tell you. . .by the time the wedding came around, he was ruing the choice. lol Especially as Val reminded him a gazillion times about who's idea it had been. I actually felt sorry for him. (heehee)
As you are probably aware, that date happened to fall right after the rainstorms had come through the east coast. I told Val that she should have had the wedding sooner cause then the drought might not have lasted as long. (she wasn't amused) It was to be an evening wedding. So, you can imagine how nail biting it was to have it still pouring late into the night on the 26th. Val was miserable that day. The whole thing was set to take place at the Cloisters: a beautiful castle-like structure set in the woods. The place was perfect for her. Problem was, they hadn't really planned for an indoor wedding. The reception was supposed to be inside but not the ceremony. We went to the Cloisters to develop a contingency plan. The place was gorgeous. And it can work for indoor stuff too. They have events all the time and are used to having to accomodate such things. Problem was, indoors is not what was planned and Val said that she could have chosen any number of other places if that was what had been wanted.
Let me make something clear: Val had not been your typically giddy bride. She was not looking forward to the whole shindig at all. Oh, she was looking forward to getting married but not to the rigamorole. And to be fair, she didn't have an easy time of it all. They may have met in Maryland but they planned most of it all long distance. She ended up in Huntsville, Alabama, earlier this year and has had to plan for several major life changes all at once. So, her being stressed was understandable. I just wish she had been happier about it all but the anticipation of the wedding just couldn't overcome all the other stuff.
Fortunately, the weather cleared by noon on the 27th. Us girls -- Val, me (MOH), Jessica (childhood friend), and Anne-Marie (work friend) -- trooped to the hair dressers and Val's spirits started to pick up. She got the normal nerves thing going on and everything but seemed in a much happier place. When we all got back to the hotel and were finally done up, she was doing much better. And oh, she made such a lovely bride. She'd chosen a beautiful lace sheath dress. She was simply stunning in it. When I get some pics, I'll post one. I figured that picture taking was the least of my responsibilities that day.
We all went to the Cloisters for the picture taking. Because it was an evening wedding, we had to do the pics beforehand. Ok, here's where things are a little complicated. Dale is Catholic but Valerie converted to Judaism (from Lutheran) about two years ago. So, the ceremony and stuff was actually Jewish. Because there's a part where Dale and her are together for the actual ceremony, him seeing her beforehand wasn't a big deal. So, that whole tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding didn't matter.
The photographer was awesome. He did an amazing job of setting it all up. My favorite moment was when Dale got to see her for the first time. He had the properly stunned look on his face and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. It was like it was only the two of them around. Such a movie moment. One of the reasons being outside was so important was because the Cloisters has a windmill and Val so wanted the wedding party pics to be there. That was fun. After that came the family photos and the rest of us ended upstairs.
I'm sure I could have stayed downstairs to help but I thought that I would just be in the way. It was a tossup cause I know she wanted me to help keep her mom from driving her nuts but I didn't know how I could do that for the photo stuff. So, I just waited. Finally they all came upstairs.
All of the wedding party and immediate family gathered around in one of the rooms so that we could watch them sign the Jewish marriage agreement. It was a cool little part of the ceremony. Then came the aisle walking and all that jazz. I messed up a little with Val's train because I forgot that she needed me to hand it to her so she could walk around Dale three times at the beginning. I wanted to straighten it out pretty. lol It didn't seem to be a big deal. We hadn't had a rehearsal (just a verbal run through) so hopefully I'm forgiven. The rest went off pretty well. The only thing I felt the OCD need to tweak was when her veil went back. It didn't completely go straight on one side and I didn't want it to look goofy in the pictures so I quickly steeped up and tweaked it down straight. lol Val didn't even know I had done that til later.
The reception was very elegant: open bar, cheese, dessert. Very simple but beautifully done. My speech was impromptu and not the best thing in the world (bad speech teacher) but I wanted to go with the flow of the moment and emotion rather than something rehearsed. I had a few things planned but mostly I just went with the moment. Afterwards, Val danced with her father and also with Dale. It was the only dancing that happened. I thought maybe seeing her with her dad would make me feel sad since I won't be able to do that but it just made me smile. Besides, it's when I got to help her mom out so that was good. Her mom had done really well not to cry until then. It was sweet.
Overall, the wedding went off without any major snafus. There were minor things but it was an awesome event. Just as elegant as Val could have wished.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
End of the Hell Week
So, the week is almost finished and thank God. Mike and I went out for brunch and then to Petsmart to look at the cats cause I'm thinking that company for Shaman might be a good thing. Depends upon how she does in the next few weeks. Well, there were two groups there with dogs for adoptions as well (I had no idea it was such a big day there). One was the Greyhound Lifesavers group. Mike and I have been talking about getting a greyhound for a while. They so fit our lifestyle and personality. They were so beautiful and sweet. Hard to find a cat friendly one but we are going to try for that. They have new ones a lot so we may find a good mix. And Michael thinks that dog would be better than a cat. Less animosity. Um, ok. We'll see.
One thing Shaman is enjoying is full run of the house. We can open up every room now cause she sheds less than Miri did and doesn't yark in bad places. Sad, but true. I'd rather have Miri than all the doors open but. . .must take what benefit I can.
The week had to end on a down note thought. When we came out of Petsmart about 1:30, my car wouldn't start. The short version is that the started went bad and took the battery with it. Got the starter fixed at Sears and the battery replaced at Advanced Auto cause it was still under warranty from my purchase there last year. But it took all damn day to get the rest of this done. And to top it off, I walked around a the mall a little bit with a huge rip in the back of my pants near the pocket! (sigh)
Just freaking great. But it's almost over. I hurt from being on my feet too much but I'll survive.
One thing Shaman is enjoying is full run of the house. We can open up every room now cause she sheds less than Miri did and doesn't yark in bad places. Sad, but true. I'd rather have Miri than all the doors open but. . .must take what benefit I can.
The week had to end on a down note thought. When we came out of Petsmart about 1:30, my car wouldn't start. The short version is that the started went bad and took the battery with it. Got the starter fixed at Sears and the battery replaced at Advanced Auto cause it was still under warranty from my purchase there last year. But it took all damn day to get the rest of this done. And to top it off, I walked around a the mall a little bit with a huge rip in the back of my pants near the pocket! (sigh)
Just freaking great. But it's almost over. I hurt from being on my feet too much but I'll survive.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Goodbye, My Sweeting
It has just not been a good week as you know. Well, today it got worse. Miriamele got sick again over the weekend but we didn't know how badly until yesterday when we saw that she had thrown up all over the place. She'd stopped eating (I just thought less) but was still drinking her water. I hadn't been able to give her her medication over the weekend but that shouldn't have affected her that much. It didn't. Seems that along with the hyperthyroidism she must have had kidney problems. When she was tested in June, they looked ok but that could have been because the urinalysis was done with diluted urine. Or it just could have been at the early stages and she deteriorated quickly. Either way, her symptoms were so close to the hyperthyroidal ones that it just seemed to be that.
This morning she could barely move so I took Miri to the vet right away. Went to Petsmart this time because our vet is closed on Wednesdays and one of the vets there is a regular at the bookstore. We didn't see him but another doctor who was very good. They couldn't get a urine sample because she was just too dehydrated. There was nothing in her system. Probably because every time she drank, she threw up. I mean, I'd cleaned up the kitchen last week and now it looks almost the same because she went on a yarking spree. Anyway, they took blood samples and everything pointed to kidney problems -- possibly renal failure but it was hard to tell since they couldn't get a urinalysis and forcing fluids into her would only dilute the results (like in June). To the doctor, Miri's kidneys felt way too small and from my description of her health for the past few months, it sounded to him like they were deteriorating. He couldn't guarantee me that was what was going on but it pretty well fit the bill for her. So, I had two choices (three if you count inaction as one): 1) they could pump Miri full of fluids and get her back up to health to the point where I would have to regularly give her fluids via IV (which would increase in frequency as time went on) until they shut down totally or 2) I could put her to sleep. He didn't actually say the latter but I was pretty quick on reading between the lines with how he described the first process. Because, basically it came down to that or a kidney transplant.
It sounded like we would just be prolonging Miri's illness. And to what purpose? The fluid IVs are fairly easy to do (he said) but given that she hated me just giving her a pill, I can't imagine what she would have done with IVs. She would have been miserable. And it wasn't a cure, just a patch. I couldn't do that to her. But I felt so horrible because I thought it looked like I was going to choose an "easy" way out. But the doc told me about a cat who'd been in earlier to be euthanized. The cat was older than Miri and hyperthyroidal but otherwise completely healthy. Awesome kidney functions and he refused to euthanize the cat. I admired him for that. But with Miri, it was definitely an option. He didn't push it on me and would have respected my wishes but I knew. I couldn't put her through months of torture (not pain but emotional torture) just because I didn't want to lose her. Lately I've been frustrated with the yarking and the shedding and all that but I didn't want her to do die to solve it. And money wasn't even an issue cause Mike is ok with whatever I need to do for them. So, I would have chosen anything but putting her down if it meant that she might have a chance of being cured. But she didn't. My beautiful little princess was just too ill to help.
So, I did the humane thing and chose the time of her death for her. I couldn't watch so they did it in another room. Afterwards the doctor had more solid words of comfort because he said that she went quietly and quickly. He hadn't even put all of the medicine in her before she passed away. Her body was just that toxic that there wasn't much left. I just wished I'd known that and been more aware these past few days so I could have held her more. That's where I have regret. That she was sick and I didn't realize how much sooner. Yeah, I know I've been legitimately out of it but. . .(sigh).
Hopefully this is the last bad thing for the week. Hell, for the rest of the year. I'm sick and tired of it all. But here are pictures of Miriamele:
Miri was lovely, wasn't she? So regal with her "painted" eyes. Very much a lady. She was always ready to lend comfort when someone was upset. Remember, Michelle? I will always remember why she came with me to SC. She was afraid of everyone but me. Three days before I was to come down, I woke up and found her curled against my chest and arm. How could I leave that sweet face behind? Obviously, I couldn't so I tried to give her a better life than she would have had at the farm. There were times when she drove me bonkers (remember when she went into heat, Andi, before she was fixed?) and I developed an allergy to her fur, but she was a wonderful cat. The house is going to be a lot more empty without her around. Shaman is the only one left from that litter and the three of us are going to miss Miriamele's voice from now on.
This morning she could barely move so I took Miri to the vet right away. Went to Petsmart this time because our vet is closed on Wednesdays and one of the vets there is a regular at the bookstore. We didn't see him but another doctor who was very good. They couldn't get a urine sample because she was just too dehydrated. There was nothing in her system. Probably because every time she drank, she threw up. I mean, I'd cleaned up the kitchen last week and now it looks almost the same because she went on a yarking spree. Anyway, they took blood samples and everything pointed to kidney problems -- possibly renal failure but it was hard to tell since they couldn't get a urinalysis and forcing fluids into her would only dilute the results (like in June). To the doctor, Miri's kidneys felt way too small and from my description of her health for the past few months, it sounded to him like they were deteriorating. He couldn't guarantee me that was what was going on but it pretty well fit the bill for her. So, I had two choices (three if you count inaction as one): 1) they could pump Miri full of fluids and get her back up to health to the point where I would have to regularly give her fluids via IV (which would increase in frequency as time went on) until they shut down totally or 2) I could put her to sleep. He didn't actually say the latter but I was pretty quick on reading between the lines with how he described the first process. Because, basically it came down to that or a kidney transplant.
It sounded like we would just be prolonging Miri's illness. And to what purpose? The fluid IVs are fairly easy to do (he said) but given that she hated me just giving her a pill, I can't imagine what she would have done with IVs. She would have been miserable. And it wasn't a cure, just a patch. I couldn't do that to her. But I felt so horrible because I thought it looked like I was going to choose an "easy" way out. But the doc told me about a cat who'd been in earlier to be euthanized. The cat was older than Miri and hyperthyroidal but otherwise completely healthy. Awesome kidney functions and he refused to euthanize the cat. I admired him for that. But with Miri, it was definitely an option. He didn't push it on me and would have respected my wishes but I knew. I couldn't put her through months of torture (not pain but emotional torture) just because I didn't want to lose her. Lately I've been frustrated with the yarking and the shedding and all that but I didn't want her to do die to solve it. And money wasn't even an issue cause Mike is ok with whatever I need to do for them. So, I would have chosen anything but putting her down if it meant that she might have a chance of being cured. But she didn't. My beautiful little princess was just too ill to help.
So, I did the humane thing and chose the time of her death for her. I couldn't watch so they did it in another room. Afterwards the doctor had more solid words of comfort because he said that she went quietly and quickly. He hadn't even put all of the medicine in her before she passed away. Her body was just that toxic that there wasn't much left. I just wished I'd known that and been more aware these past few days so I could have held her more. That's where I have regret. That she was sick and I didn't realize how much sooner. Yeah, I know I've been legitimately out of it but. . .(sigh).
Hopefully this is the last bad thing for the week. Hell, for the rest of the year. I'm sick and tired of it all. But here are pictures of Miriamele:
Miri was lovely, wasn't she? So regal with her "painted" eyes. Very much a lady. She was always ready to lend comfort when someone was upset. Remember, Michelle? I will always remember why she came with me to SC. She was afraid of everyone but me. Three days before I was to come down, I woke up and found her curled against my chest and arm. How could I leave that sweet face behind? Obviously, I couldn't so I tried to give her a better life than she would have had at the farm. There were times when she drove me bonkers (remember when she went into heat, Andi, before she was fixed?) and I developed an allergy to her fur, but she was a wonderful cat. The house is going to be a lot more empty without her around. Shaman is the only one left from that litter and the three of us are going to miss Miriamele's voice from now on.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
This Is Recuperating?
(sigh) It's my own fault. I admit it. I'm supposed to be resting and getting better but instead I am allowing myself to get stressed out. I was in a fairly good mood until yesterday. I mean, I am sad about my aunt and everything but I wasn't stressed. Now I'm stressed. I'm still "resting" in the sense that I am pretty much immobile in my chair or in bed but my brain is doing anything but. I'd sleep but then the more I sleep the more restless energy I have. Which is probably why my OCD is kicking in.
What's stressing me out? Work. There's some drama going on that really isn't necessary and people are just all worn out and griping. Ok, well, not maybe people plural so much as one person. But not being there, I have no idea what's going on. I've been fighting to get the job (though God knows why) and they still haven't made a decision yet. The manager meetings went well a few weeks ago and stuff and I had my interview with the new DM after that but it's dragging. I had a final interview two weeks ago with HR. But I hurt myself in that one with one of the questions.
See, the other store in Columbia needs a manager too. However, unlike with me, they have not officially made the assistant manager the acting/interim manager even though he is running things. So, they are looking to fill both stores and supposedly there are a bunch of qualified candidates. Well, I was asked if I would consider managing the other store if that is something that they felt would be best done. I said no. Not quite that flat out but I gave my reasons: I don't like that mall. It's not safe (and that is not an exaggeration when stabbings and shootings happen) and I haven't shopped there in years. Well, this didn't sit well. Especially with the new DM who said it makes it seem like we should tell our customers not to shop there and that she should be afraid to go there. Well, yeah. So, that was a strike against me. It's also a strike against me that I have personal ties with the people at the store. Uh, duh. But why send out an email saying that we could hire friends and family and then hold that against me? They are making an issue out of thin air because that is not even a problem. Hell, I don't have time to hang out with anyone as just friends outside the store. As Jon pointed out, even when we do get a chance to grab a bite to eat, we end up talking about work. And hello, you can't tell me that other managers aren't friends with some of their employees. It's a crock of horseshit.
I really love my job but corporate is making this way harder than it needs to be. I have kept everything running fairly well. Has it been perfect? No. Have we been doing at least as well as everyone else? Yeah. And even better than that too. I was told that we should know something later this week about the position. Good, cause I need to know what my options are gonna be. I've been planning my life around this job for the past four months (I got an apology for having had to have been in the position for so long without an answer) and if I haven't proven myself by now, I never will to them. They can drag their feet if they want to. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing until I know otherwise. And then? Well, guess it depends on what is said and offered.
What's stressing me out? Work. There's some drama going on that really isn't necessary and people are just all worn out and griping. Ok, well, not maybe people plural so much as one person. But not being there, I have no idea what's going on. I've been fighting to get the job (though God knows why) and they still haven't made a decision yet. The manager meetings went well a few weeks ago and stuff and I had my interview with the new DM after that but it's dragging. I had a final interview two weeks ago with HR. But I hurt myself in that one with one of the questions.
See, the other store in Columbia needs a manager too. However, unlike with me, they have not officially made the assistant manager the acting/interim manager even though he is running things. So, they are looking to fill both stores and supposedly there are a bunch of qualified candidates. Well, I was asked if I would consider managing the other store if that is something that they felt would be best done. I said no. Not quite that flat out but I gave my reasons: I don't like that mall. It's not safe (and that is not an exaggeration when stabbings and shootings happen) and I haven't shopped there in years. Well, this didn't sit well. Especially with the new DM who said it makes it seem like we should tell our customers not to shop there and that she should be afraid to go there. Well, yeah. So, that was a strike against me. It's also a strike against me that I have personal ties with the people at the store. Uh, duh. But why send out an email saying that we could hire friends and family and then hold that against me? They are making an issue out of thin air because that is not even a problem. Hell, I don't have time to hang out with anyone as just friends outside the store. As Jon pointed out, even when we do get a chance to grab a bite to eat, we end up talking about work. And hello, you can't tell me that other managers aren't friends with some of their employees. It's a crock of horseshit.
I really love my job but corporate is making this way harder than it needs to be. I have kept everything running fairly well. Has it been perfect? No. Have we been doing at least as well as everyone else? Yeah. And even better than that too. I was told that we should know something later this week about the position. Good, cause I need to know what my options are gonna be. I've been planning my life around this job for the past four months (I got an apology for having had to have been in the position for so long without an answer) and if I haven't proven myself by now, I never will to them. They can drag their feet if they want to. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing until I know otherwise. And then? Well, guess it depends on what is said and offered.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Rest In Peace
It's another one of those days. I didn't sleep very well last night because of the pain. So, I slept in and when I awoke, I found a message on my cellphone from my brother, Chuck, that Sissy (our aunt) had died this morning. I must say that it was a shock and not a shock at the same time. The shock part came from the fact that I didn't think that she'd been that ill. The not a shock was because she hasn't wanted to be alive for a long time. She broke her hip about a month or so ago and ended up back in the hospital for something else. I'd tried calling but no one would answer. I hadn't had time to call Karen (my brother's widow who was there all the time) for details but Chuck let me know pretty well. Apparently Sissy wasn't answering the phone. (sigh)
Sissy was my father's older sister and in her mid-80s. She'd been depressed for quite a long time and also losing her memory. Not sure if it was senility or Alzheimer's but she was getting worse and worse at holding conversations. At least now she is where she wanted to be. . .with Uncle. It's sad. But at the same time also a relief. There wasn't much we could do to make her happy.
I don't have any particulars yet on the funeral. She'd set everything up years ago so we wouldn't have to worry about that. The problem is, Mike has to work all week doing installs and I am basically laid up from the surgery. So, I don't know what I'm going to do. I should go home for the funeral but I honestly don't know if I can drive. I am not supposed to for a few days because of the meds. I guess I will wait and see what is going on when and stuff. My other brother, John, is supposed to keep me up to speed. So, if he does, and Chuck comes home, we'll see. Once I know everything, I'll contact the doctor. Familial duty versus health. (sigh)
Sissy was my father's older sister and in her mid-80s. She'd been depressed for quite a long time and also losing her memory. Not sure if it was senility or Alzheimer's but she was getting worse and worse at holding conversations. At least now she is where she wanted to be. . .with Uncle. It's sad. But at the same time also a relief. There wasn't much we could do to make her happy.
I don't have any particulars yet on the funeral. She'd set everything up years ago so we wouldn't have to worry about that. The problem is, Mike has to work all week doing installs and I am basically laid up from the surgery. So, I don't know what I'm going to do. I should go home for the funeral but I honestly don't know if I can drive. I am not supposed to for a few days because of the meds. I guess I will wait and see what is going on when and stuff. My other brother, John, is supposed to keep me up to speed. So, if he does, and Chuck comes home, we'll see. Once I know everything, I'll contact the doctor. Familial duty versus health. (sigh)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Ouch
So, it's done. I am now a sporting model as I've heard it. On Wednesday I went and had blood work done. The idiot who did it bruised my right arm up pretty good. When I told her that it hurt coming out too, her response was, "Everyone says that." Yeah, cause she's an idiot. Despite my fair skin, I don't usually bruise unless they do something wrong. I spent most of last week trying to get stuff done before the surgery on Friday.
Mike and I woke up about 8a on Friday morning and just cuddled for an hour. I so didn't want to go to the hospital. We got there on time. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was pretty normal. I was nervous as all hell until they finally got the IV in me. I hate those things the most. I got tired of being asked about my diabetes when I don't have it. Just because I'm on a diabetic medicine doesn't mean I have the disease. I'm on it for the PCOS. In fact, when they tested my blood sugar, it was a great level. So, yeah, that's not one of my problems.
The nurses and doctors were all very nice. Once they gave me the relaxing drugs, my memory is fuzzy. I remember getting in and kind of fighting the oxygen mask but once I was out, I was out. Fortunately, I don't remember the breathing tube being taken out. Last time, I gagged on it. The pain wasn't as bad as when I had my gall bladder out (13 years ago). Dr. Giudice got the air out of me pretty well. They did give me good drugs for what pain I had (which was a decent amount). For the most part, I kept falling back to sleep.
I drank a little ginger ale but it tasted icky so I later switched to diet coke. But neither sat well in my stomach so they had to give me something for the nausea. I remember being taken to the transition room and seeing Michael again. Some nurses helped me get dressed. That was fun. Then I got the IV out (didn't feel that for once) and put in a wheel chair. The whole process only took from 10a to 5p (surgery wasn't much more than an hour with no complications). I was so damn groggy that there are gaps in my consciousness. I do remember the bumps in the hall which made my stomach go erk. And the speed bumps coming out of the parking garage. Mike says that they need to rethink those.
We got home and I went to the bathroom and allowed myself to throw up. I hadn't done it at the hospital because I was afraid they'd keep me. But I felt better afterwards. I went to bed and Michael curled up next to me. We both slept until about 10p when Jon called to see what was going on. And I made him call his mom. At 1a we woke up again and he made me some waffles (light on butter and syrup). They were yummy. I think I ended up in my office about 4or 5a cause laying flat was hurting too much. Thank God I bought the recliner over the summer. It is helping a lot.
We got up about 9a yesterday. I kept drifting in and out but finally managed to keep myself awake by playing golf with Mike. He's done a really good job of taking care of me. He told me that I have a free two week bitch pass. I asked if I could raincheck on the time I don't use. lol And that I am not allowed to do anything but rest. Yeah, we'll see how that one goes. I've already checked in with work to make sure they do a few of the things I forgot to do. lol You can force my body to rest but there is no guarantee that my mind will.
Seriously though, I am enjoying being taken care of for once. Usually it irks me to be disabled but I am going to do as I am told so that I don't get worse. But it isn't as bad as I expected. Not much worse than my most painful monthlies. So, I guess those were prep for this. Besides, they gave me good drugs. Dr. Giudice did well with the incisions. They are neat and small. Both are in the same spots as old ones -- my belly button and lower end of my appendix scar. And they are sealed over with the liquid bandage stuff. The only icky looking thing is my right temple. I look like I have a gunshot wound from where he removed my big mole. I had him remove four -- the one under my arm that had been turning black, the temple one that has been slowly getting bigger, a tag one on the corner of my right eyelid (I didn't like it being so close to my eye) and a big one on my back that was bothering Michael. None were for vanity. Hopefully they all turn out benign though Dr. Giudice didn't mention testing them.
Michael has gone to help at the store cause we have another 100+ boxes and Jon can't lift things because of his shoulder. We have permission for Mike to work since I'm out. So, at least we get to pay him for his time now. lol I tried sleeping but couldn't really. So, I thought I would update you all. I plan on being a vegetable physically but getting work done. I have so much to do. This is what I get for wishing for time to work on it all. lol
Mike and I woke up about 8a on Friday morning and just cuddled for an hour. I so didn't want to go to the hospital. We got there on time. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was pretty normal. I was nervous as all hell until they finally got the IV in me. I hate those things the most. I got tired of being asked about my diabetes when I don't have it. Just because I'm on a diabetic medicine doesn't mean I have the disease. I'm on it for the PCOS. In fact, when they tested my blood sugar, it was a great level. So, yeah, that's not one of my problems.
The nurses and doctors were all very nice. Once they gave me the relaxing drugs, my memory is fuzzy. I remember getting in and kind of fighting the oxygen mask but once I was out, I was out. Fortunately, I don't remember the breathing tube being taken out. Last time, I gagged on it. The pain wasn't as bad as when I had my gall bladder out (13 years ago). Dr. Giudice got the air out of me pretty well. They did give me good drugs for what pain I had (which was a decent amount). For the most part, I kept falling back to sleep.
I drank a little ginger ale but it tasted icky so I later switched to diet coke. But neither sat well in my stomach so they had to give me something for the nausea. I remember being taken to the transition room and seeing Michael again. Some nurses helped me get dressed. That was fun. Then I got the IV out (didn't feel that for once) and put in a wheel chair. The whole process only took from 10a to 5p (surgery wasn't much more than an hour with no complications). I was so damn groggy that there are gaps in my consciousness. I do remember the bumps in the hall which made my stomach go erk. And the speed bumps coming out of the parking garage. Mike says that they need to rethink those.
We got home and I went to the bathroom and allowed myself to throw up. I hadn't done it at the hospital because I was afraid they'd keep me. But I felt better afterwards. I went to bed and Michael curled up next to me. We both slept until about 10p when Jon called to see what was going on. And I made him call his mom. At 1a we woke up again and he made me some waffles (light on butter and syrup). They were yummy. I think I ended up in my office about 4or 5a cause laying flat was hurting too much. Thank God I bought the recliner over the summer. It is helping a lot.
We got up about 9a yesterday. I kept drifting in and out but finally managed to keep myself awake by playing golf with Mike. He's done a really good job of taking care of me. He told me that I have a free two week bitch pass. I asked if I could raincheck on the time I don't use. lol And that I am not allowed to do anything but rest. Yeah, we'll see how that one goes. I've already checked in with work to make sure they do a few of the things I forgot to do. lol You can force my body to rest but there is no guarantee that my mind will.
Seriously though, I am enjoying being taken care of for once. Usually it irks me to be disabled but I am going to do as I am told so that I don't get worse. But it isn't as bad as I expected. Not much worse than my most painful monthlies. So, I guess those were prep for this. Besides, they gave me good drugs. Dr. Giudice did well with the incisions. They are neat and small. Both are in the same spots as old ones -- my belly button and lower end of my appendix scar. And they are sealed over with the liquid bandage stuff. The only icky looking thing is my right temple. I look like I have a gunshot wound from where he removed my big mole. I had him remove four -- the one under my arm that had been turning black, the temple one that has been slowly getting bigger, a tag one on the corner of my right eyelid (I didn't like it being so close to my eye) and a big one on my back that was bothering Michael. None were for vanity. Hopefully they all turn out benign though Dr. Giudice didn't mention testing them.
Michael has gone to help at the store cause we have another 100+ boxes and Jon can't lift things because of his shoulder. We have permission for Mike to work since I'm out. So, at least we get to pay him for his time now. lol I tried sleeping but couldn't really. So, I thought I would update you all. I plan on being a vegetable physically but getting work done. I have so much to do. This is what I get for wishing for time to work on it all. lol
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Health Update
Well, I'm going to have time to catch up on news pretty soon. This coming Friday (9th) I go in for outpatient surgery. Michael went with me to see the new doctor (Guidices -- he's very nice) yesterday. Well, it looks like the endometrial ablation isn't necessarily the best choice for someone like me. See, it does stop the monthly bleeding in 75% of patients with the other 25% having spotting. Gee, with my luck, which % would I probably be? Also, it doesn't cause infertility so there would still be a likelihood that I could get pregnant. That would be bad because with out the endometrial lining, there are all sorts of problems for the fetus. So, they normally tie a woman's tubes when doing the procedure. This also wouldn't eliminate the possibility of uterine cancer which is a high risk for someone like me who has PCOS (add in my maternal grandmother dying of ovarian cancer and father of colon cancer and we can say uber odds). AND, 1 in 5 women who have the procedure eventually have to have a hysterectomy.
So, we decided that I should just eliminate most of that worry and just have the partial hysterectomy done now. I get to keep my ovaries and cervix (so I won't need hormones, etc) but I lose the uterus. They do it all the time with laproscopic surgery and the recovery time is pretty quick (1-2 weeks).
Actually, they wanted me to do it the Friday BEFORE Thanksgiving because while Dr. Guicides has an opening, the hospital did not before then. I was like, "Oh my God, no! I have to work that week! I can't not work black Friday and the weekend." So, the appointment woman (who was very nice) spoke with the doctor and they fit me in next Friday. I have to go to see him on Wednesday to discuss everything. I'm also going to have him remove a few of the questionable moles I have. Especially one on my right arm because it has black spots now. He said it would be easy to do. He also said that they could do a procedure that should help with the PCOS symptoms so that I may be able to lose weight better. That would be awesome. And we're going to up my dosage of Metformin cause it just isn't working at this level.
I've already given everyone at work a heads up. The new DM was like, "Are you going to use your vacation time for this? Make sure that you have all of your ducks in a row." What does she think I am? A moron? Believe me, if I could put this off longer, I would. It's not like I've been planning to be sick right now. In fact, since I've been off of the progesterone and not having a wonky cycle, I feel better. But I know it won;t last if I don't fix it. So, I'm a little annoyed at the statement. My reasonable side says that she's just doing her job but the rest of me is like, "Do you know how much of my life is invested in that store?" Good God. I haven't spent an entire day away from there when I'm in Columbia for weeks now. Sheesh.
Anyway, I will keep you all up to date as things happen. This surgery should be fairly routine unless something else has popped up. I have so much to do before Friday that it isn't even funny.
Gotta run and eat dinner. Hugs to all.
So, we decided that I should just eliminate most of that worry and just have the partial hysterectomy done now. I get to keep my ovaries and cervix (so I won't need hormones, etc) but I lose the uterus. They do it all the time with laproscopic surgery and the recovery time is pretty quick (1-2 weeks).
Actually, they wanted me to do it the Friday BEFORE Thanksgiving because while Dr. Guicides has an opening, the hospital did not before then. I was like, "Oh my God, no! I have to work that week! I can't not work black Friday and the weekend." So, the appointment woman (who was very nice) spoke with the doctor and they fit me in next Friday. I have to go to see him on Wednesday to discuss everything. I'm also going to have him remove a few of the questionable moles I have. Especially one on my right arm because it has black spots now. He said it would be easy to do. He also said that they could do a procedure that should help with the PCOS symptoms so that I may be able to lose weight better. That would be awesome. And we're going to up my dosage of Metformin cause it just isn't working at this level.
I've already given everyone at work a heads up. The new DM was like, "Are you going to use your vacation time for this? Make sure that you have all of your ducks in a row." What does she think I am? A moron? Believe me, if I could put this off longer, I would. It's not like I've been planning to be sick right now. In fact, since I've been off of the progesterone and not having a wonky cycle, I feel better. But I know it won;t last if I don't fix it. So, I'm a little annoyed at the statement. My reasonable side says that she's just doing her job but the rest of me is like, "Do you know how much of my life is invested in that store?" Good God. I haven't spent an entire day away from there when I'm in Columbia for weeks now. Sheesh.
Anyway, I will keep you all up to date as things happen. This surgery should be fairly routine unless something else has popped up. I have so much to do before Friday that it isn't even funny.
Gotta run and eat dinner. Hugs to all.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A Moment of Silence
There were a few things that I wanted to catch you all up on but I need to put that off for a moment. Some of you may have heard about the NC beach house blaze that took place early Sunday morning. Thirteen SC students were staying at the house. Six escaped while seven lost their lives. Of the seven, six were at USC. And one was a current student of mine, Justin Anderson:
He was in my TTH 2p class. I did not know anything about the accident until I got to class today. In fact, the authorities only just confirmed the identities of the dead even though the university knew for sure from other sources. He was a nice guy and his classmates are all in shock. One poor girl knew him and two others because she is in the same sorority as the girls who were there. You can imagine the faces I saw today. I thought that they were just unusually quiet. And no, we didn't have class for long. Some of my other students know either other victims or survivors. You can bet they have free reign this week.
It saddens me greatly. . .to think that they died so terribly. It's going to be odd not seeing him in class but I haven't had time to get to know many of my students well this semester. Well enough to feel the extra pain of their loss because I know them but not so much that I can't truly stop my life for mourning. And that may be the most painful thing of all for me.
My heart does go out to their parents, friends, and families. Especially those who survived the fire because they have a long road ahead of them. I am proud of USC for responding so quickly to the situation and for aiding everyone. They truly do care and I've seen it many times that they aren't all about the money. So, please join us in a moment of silence and wish everyone left behind well. Because they are the ones who need it most now as those, like my student, who have left are beyond care for this earthly world.
He was in my TTH 2p class. I did not know anything about the accident until I got to class today. In fact, the authorities only just confirmed the identities of the dead even though the university knew for sure from other sources. He was a nice guy and his classmates are all in shock. One poor girl knew him and two others because she is in the same sorority as the girls who were there. You can imagine the faces I saw today. I thought that they were just unusually quiet. And no, we didn't have class for long. Some of my other students know either other victims or survivors. You can bet they have free reign this week.
It saddens me greatly. . .to think that they died so terribly. It's going to be odd not seeing him in class but I haven't had time to get to know many of my students well this semester. Well enough to feel the extra pain of their loss because I know them but not so much that I can't truly stop my life for mourning. And that may be the most painful thing of all for me.
My heart does go out to their parents, friends, and families. Especially those who survived the fire because they have a long road ahead of them. I am proud of USC for responding so quickly to the situation and for aiding everyone. They truly do care and I've seen it many times that they aren't all about the money. So, please join us in a moment of silence and wish everyone left behind well. Because they are the ones who need it most now as those, like my student, who have left are beyond care for this earthly world.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Never Ending
So, life has been rather hectic of late. The store seems to be in a never ending state of catching up because we are getting increasingly large shipments (another hundred boxes on the 28th, 123 last week, and 156 expected tomorrow). On top of that, we have a massive returns list to do which was wrong the first time so we had to wait an extra week to get the update. We have so much product that we are having to shelve and scan at the same time. Sheesh But the good thing is that we are getting it together and everyone seems happy with work. The kiosk looks great and our liaison is happy with that.
I had been told that I wasn't going to the manager's meeting next week. Mainly I think it's because I am not the official manager. I felt that I should go simply because no matter what they decide, someone from the store should know what's being planned this year. But no. Well, at least until last Friday when I got a call asking if it was too late for me to make arrangements to go. Turns out the new DM wants to meet me and do an interview. Be careful what you wish for. So, I'll be flying up to Pittsburgh on Monday. I find it hilarious that this city was chosen since that's where I was "transferred" over the summer.
Classes have been doing well so that's good.
The major glitch in all of this is that I have been having major female probs again. I was in so much pain this past week that I came home and drugged out almost every night. I already had another doctor appointment set up for this morning. Well, Julie doesn't know what to do for me so she passed me on to a new doctor. Basically, he confirmed things I've known for a long time: I have PCOS and I don't ovulate. Duh The former I was told at age 20 and the latter I assumed since I'm not "normal" without the Pill (even though I had a doctor say otherwise). I can't be given an estrogen based pill because a major study last year gave strong evidence that increased levels of the hormone can cause stroke. So, anyone with migraines who get additives (like my aura visions at the end of last year/beginning of this one) cannot be prescribed the stuff. So, I am stuck with progesterone only meds which are obviously not working since that is what I have been on since May. My health has been slowly deteriorating with that stuff. So I am off it.
What are my options?
1) Try one more time with a different kind of natural progesterone pill.
(I doubt this will work since the last didn't.)
2) Go in and have a endometrial ablation. This is where they cauterize the uterus so that there is no more bleeding.
(This basically sterilizes me too.)
3) Have a hysterectomy to remove the uterus.
(Hell no unless I have a choice.)
No matter what I choose, I need to have a endometrial biopsy to see if I have endometriosis or worse.
Mike and I have discussed it and I am going for option #2. It's the lest of where I will eventually end up so I might as well get it over with. I'm not happy with this option. I mean, I know we say we don't want children but a part of me would really like to meet the person we could create together. I've known for years that this might not be possible. But at least there was hope should I want it. Now, no hope. (sigh) We don't have the time or lifestyle for a child right now and by the time we may have. . .well, I might be too old for natural anyway.
Not sure when this will happen. The procedure only puts me out of commission for about 3-4 days. So, I am going to shoot for the beginning of November after Val's wedding. It's the best I can do. I'll keep you posted.
I had been told that I wasn't going to the manager's meeting next week. Mainly I think it's because I am not the official manager. I felt that I should go simply because no matter what they decide, someone from the store should know what's being planned this year. But no. Well, at least until last Friday when I got a call asking if it was too late for me to make arrangements to go. Turns out the new DM wants to meet me and do an interview. Be careful what you wish for. So, I'll be flying up to Pittsburgh on Monday. I find it hilarious that this city was chosen since that's where I was "transferred" over the summer.
Classes have been doing well so that's good.
The major glitch in all of this is that I have been having major female probs again. I was in so much pain this past week that I came home and drugged out almost every night. I already had another doctor appointment set up for this morning. Well, Julie doesn't know what to do for me so she passed me on to a new doctor. Basically, he confirmed things I've known for a long time: I have PCOS and I don't ovulate. Duh The former I was told at age 20 and the latter I assumed since I'm not "normal" without the Pill (even though I had a doctor say otherwise). I can't be given an estrogen based pill because a major study last year gave strong evidence that increased levels of the hormone can cause stroke. So, anyone with migraines who get additives (like my aura visions at the end of last year/beginning of this one) cannot be prescribed the stuff. So, I am stuck with progesterone only meds which are obviously not working since that is what I have been on since May. My health has been slowly deteriorating with that stuff. So I am off it.
What are my options?
1) Try one more time with a different kind of natural progesterone pill.
(I doubt this will work since the last didn't.)
2) Go in and have a endometrial ablation. This is where they cauterize the uterus so that there is no more bleeding.
(This basically sterilizes me too.)
3) Have a hysterectomy to remove the uterus.
(Hell no unless I have a choice.)
No matter what I choose, I need to have a endometrial biopsy to see if I have endometriosis or worse.
Mike and I have discussed it and I am going for option #2. It's the lest of where I will eventually end up so I might as well get it over with. I'm not happy with this option. I mean, I know we say we don't want children but a part of me would really like to meet the person we could create together. I've known for years that this might not be possible. But at least there was hope should I want it. Now, no hope. (sigh) We don't have the time or lifestyle for a child right now and by the time we may have. . .well, I might be too old for natural anyway.
Not sure when this will happen. The procedure only puts me out of commission for about 3-4 days. So, I am going to shoot for the beginning of November after Val's wedding. It's the best I can do. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, September 28, 2007
What a Week
Yeah, I'm up really early again. I've actually been up since a little after 6a but was working on paying the current round of bills. (sigh) That never ends, does it? You see a nice chunk of money in your account and as you pay stuff, it slowly goes poof before your eyes. And just when you think you might have a little extra. . .it is just enough to get you to the next paycheck. Well, this time it was mostly because my car insurance is due and I had a few extraneous extra bills to pay (like for my last ultrasound). Ah, well, c'est la vie.
Monday was fun. The shipment ended up being 100 boxes. Oh joy. I went in after class at 10p and worked on them until 2a so that all of the street dates could get out. It was a huge day. I managed to get them done and do the romance stuff so the regulars could get them. Fortunately, I asked and received some extra hours from higher up so that we can make up for the fubar.
I meant to write on Tuesday but got very busy. It was Jami's and mine birthday. She spent it with my family. lol Odd, no? I woke up feeling blech. Had an early appointment with my therapist who made me promise to do something nice for myself since it didn't seem that I would get to do anything fun. Mike had to go up to Richmond, VA, so he had left before the crack of dawn and wasn't planning on being back until really late. (sigh) So, after making calls to our regular customers about all the new stuff, I headed to one of my favorite stores It's the place that has all the Celtic, etc stuff. If you are ever stuck for a gift idea, just get me a certificate to there. Here's the link: It's All in the Name. I treated myself to another Nene Thomas print:
She's pretty. Now I just have to get her framed. I also talked with the owner about teaming up for events. That way they have someone to help them out with stuff and we (the store) get out more to make sales. I'll keep you posted with that.
When I got to my office, I called Jami cause she had said to the night before. See, I texted her just after midnight while I was at the store to wish her a Happy Bday but didn't get her response until 2a. I had assumed she'd be asleep. Well, since she was at the farm, she was still up. And it turned out that Sissy (my aunt) was in the hospital again because she broke her hip. (sigh) So, Sissy was supposed to have surgery but it was put off a little because her blood pressure was too high. I mean, she is in her 80s so. . .I can imagine she's stressed. I'm not going to bore you with the family drama details that ensued but it wasn't a fun day for anyone.
After classes while I was doing my office hours, I talked with Jonathan and he insisted on taking me out to dinner. I didn't really want to go cause I was in a funk but I'm glad I did. We had a nice dinner and it cheered me up. (smile) I had also gone to the bookstore to buy some kid's books for an event at a local school. I felt bad because we hadn't gotten many donations. But we actually had stuff to give them anyway so it was all good.
Anyway, after dinner I came home and waited for Michael. He got home about 10p and brought me a bouquet of red roses, a balloon, and a card. It was very sweet. I actually hadn't expected anything. And the funniest part is that my therapist said that I should tell him to do such things more often since such gestures mean a lot to us girls. lol She'll be happy when I tell her he did it unprompted. She said it cause I wasn't expecting anything since we had gone to AWA and last year I waited until October to celebrate. And you know we girls like the romantic stuff. lol
Actually, Michael did get me more than that but I'll post them in another blog later since this one is really long. And I need to grab some breakfast. Hugs.
Monday was fun. The shipment ended up being 100 boxes. Oh joy. I went in after class at 10p and worked on them until 2a so that all of the street dates could get out. It was a huge day. I managed to get them done and do the romance stuff so the regulars could get them. Fortunately, I asked and received some extra hours from higher up so that we can make up for the fubar.
I meant to write on Tuesday but got very busy. It was Jami's and mine birthday. She spent it with my family. lol Odd, no? I woke up feeling blech. Had an early appointment with my therapist who made me promise to do something nice for myself since it didn't seem that I would get to do anything fun. Mike had to go up to Richmond, VA, so he had left before the crack of dawn and wasn't planning on being back until really late. (sigh) So, after making calls to our regular customers about all the new stuff, I headed to one of my favorite stores It's the place that has all the Celtic, etc stuff. If you are ever stuck for a gift idea, just get me a certificate to there. Here's the link: It's All in the Name. I treated myself to another Nene Thomas print:
She's pretty. Now I just have to get her framed. I also talked with the owner about teaming up for events. That way they have someone to help them out with stuff and we (the store) get out more to make sales. I'll keep you posted with that.
When I got to my office, I called Jami cause she had said to the night before. See, I texted her just after midnight while I was at the store to wish her a Happy Bday but didn't get her response until 2a. I had assumed she'd be asleep. Well, since she was at the farm, she was still up. And it turned out that Sissy (my aunt) was in the hospital again because she broke her hip. (sigh) So, Sissy was supposed to have surgery but it was put off a little because her blood pressure was too high. I mean, she is in her 80s so. . .I can imagine she's stressed. I'm not going to bore you with the family drama details that ensued but it wasn't a fun day for anyone.
After classes while I was doing my office hours, I talked with Jonathan and he insisted on taking me out to dinner. I didn't really want to go cause I was in a funk but I'm glad I did. We had a nice dinner and it cheered me up. (smile) I had also gone to the bookstore to buy some kid's books for an event at a local school. I felt bad because we hadn't gotten many donations. But we actually had stuff to give them anyway so it was all good.
Anyway, after dinner I came home and waited for Michael. He got home about 10p and brought me a bouquet of red roses, a balloon, and a card. It was very sweet. I actually hadn't expected anything. And the funniest part is that my therapist said that I should tell him to do such things more often since such gestures mean a lot to us girls. lol She'll be happy when I tell her he did it unprompted. She said it cause I wasn't expecting anything since we had gone to AWA and last year I waited until October to celebrate. And you know we girls like the romantic stuff. lol
Actually, Michael did get me more than that but I'll post them in another blog later since this one is really long. And I need to grab some breakfast. Hugs.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Better Today
I feel a little better today but still achy in my head. Tired too even though I slept fairly well. Mike came back last night in a pretty good mood. We slept in and then had breakfast together. We talked about yesterday and the weeklong grumpiness. When I said that he could pretty much do whatever next year he asked, "We can't do things together?" Well, yeah, but it makes him snippy to try and coordinate us both. So, it's better that I just follow him like a puppy dog. He said that made it sound bad. No, but this is more his thing than mine. I mean, I'm interested in it but I don't know nearly as much as he does. So, I'm just along for the ride. Eventually we'll get it running smoothly.
I finished shopping for stuff. Got myself a few more small things. Next year I need to remember to bring enough money for a corset. I so want one. But I found little things. And I got enough buttons for everyone at the store and got Mike a few more items. So, it's all good.
I stayed in the room for the rest of the day and slept and just vegged. I needed that. When Mike came back we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and talked about everything. We figured u=out what's been wrong lately. It comes down to miscommunication. There's more to it than that but I won't bore you with the details. It's all ok now again. We don't do too badly most of the time. We communicate pretty well 95% of the time. It's the other 5% that we have to work on. (sigh) But hey, I'll take that.
Tomorrow we plan to get home a little after lunch and just take the day easy. I need to grade stuff for the evening class. So, back to the grind.
I finished shopping for stuff. Got myself a few more small things. Next year I need to remember to bring enough money for a corset. I so want one. But I found little things. And I got enough buttons for everyone at the store and got Mike a few more items. So, it's all good.
I stayed in the room for the rest of the day and slept and just vegged. I needed that. When Mike came back we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and talked about everything. We figured u=out what's been wrong lately. It comes down to miscommunication. There's more to it than that but I won't bore you with the details. It's all ok now again. We don't do too badly most of the time. We communicate pretty well 95% of the time. It's the other 5% that we have to work on. (sigh) But hey, I'll take that.
Tomorrow we plan to get home a little after lunch and just take the day easy. I need to grade stuff for the evening class. So, back to the grind.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Widow Once More
By the title I am, of course, referring to Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA). Last year I posted that I would be an anime widow once a year. Well, I apparently wasn't kidding even though I made a much better effort this year to participate. (sigh)
See, Mike has been going for a few years and he gets all hyped up about it. It's his guaranteed fun time every year. I like some of it but I am just not otaku enough for him to be happy with my tagging along. Oh, he wants me to come with him but let's face it, I am merely a distraction. I have admitted defeat this year. I thought it was all me last year because I was sick and stressed out but I see now that isn't really all it. Mike has a pattern here and I throw that off. I slow him down.
Mike's been incredibly grumpy lately. And I thought I had mood swings! He's been snappy and it pretty much boiled over this week. I don't know if I'm rubbing off on him or what but normally he's the calm one. (snort) And, of course, his moods have been affecting my moods. (sigh) Joyous fun and excitement.
Anyway, I am sick again but this time with that head cold that's been going around and I've been fighting off. I started feeling it come on yesterday. We got to Atlanta on Thursday night. Everything went fine with the hotel this time. We slept in a little and then did some stuff together. The main thing was dance lessons in preparation for last night's ball. We had fun with it and move pretty well together. So, I will definitely have to look into us doing that when we get home. We went our separate ways while I went to the mall to get my makeup done at the Clinique counter. It looked good. Mike looked awesome in his tux and I'll post those pics later. I don't have the connector for my camera. The ball was ok. I wanted to dance right away but Mike was "unwinding from the day" and we just sat there for a while. Made me feel grumpy. But eventually we did dance and it was lovely. We stayed for about 2 hours and then changed a little so we could go watch the hentai. It's always a riot because people go nuts with comments ("bring on the animated porn!"). lol
I apparently snored all night even though I had a nose strip on. I was so exhausted. And when I woke up, I didn't feel like myself at all. I felt like everything was coming from a long distance away. I just didn't feel connected. I still don't, not completely. So, we went to breakfast and then wandered around the dealers room. I bought Mike lots of stuff and got myself a few things. And I found a few more pins for the bookstore peeps. I need to get the rest tomorrow. Wanted to bring them something to show I was thinking about them. Jon, of course, is getting the most cause, well, he loves this stuff too. lol Maybe he needs to come with Mike next year. lol
I've made some contacts for possible signings and other stuff. I talked with one of my peers about helping her next year so, maybe if I'm working at the con Mike and I can keep from irking each other. Either that or I'll just drive next year and hang with Maya. Or work in the room. lol Everything seems to need to come back to work for me lately. It's about the only time when I feel productive and focused.
After wandering around I started to feel even more wretched so I came back to the room and passed out for a few hours. It gave Mike a chance to do his own thing and me an excuse to stay here. He came back to bring us dinner and was the happiest I've seen him in days. (sigh) I'm glad. I hate when he's grumpy. And I really don't mind being alone. Maybe that's what we need right now. Alone time. We don't get much of that because at home we feel like we have to spend our free time together since we don't see each other much. We love being together but we both inherently need alone time too. Another lesson learned.
So, there you go. As for the rest. . .we had some kiosk drama this year but nearly as much as last year. The worst part was the shipment not coming until the day before it was due. It really threw our schedule off and I didn't get a day off at all that week except for Saturday afternoon. Spent that shopping for the con so no real rest which is why I'm fried. The three newbies are gonna work out fine. They are good ones. I am so thankful for that. Everett is pleased with everything. As for the job, it's being left up to the new DM to make that call after an interview with me. It hasn't been set up yet but we'll see. There's a manager's meeting in mid-October so hopefully they will make up their minds by then. Mike's manager is gone too so they need to hire someone for there. School is going well but I just don't have any time for anything but work work work. I'm gonna give up reading anything "fun" and focus on my diss stuff during breaks. Burn out? Possibly but oh well. I'm not really happy unless I'm working a lot.
Well, hugs to all. Must get some rest now.
See, Mike has been going for a few years and he gets all hyped up about it. It's his guaranteed fun time every year. I like some of it but I am just not otaku enough for him to be happy with my tagging along. Oh, he wants me to come with him but let's face it, I am merely a distraction. I have admitted defeat this year. I thought it was all me last year because I was sick and stressed out but I see now that isn't really all it. Mike has a pattern here and I throw that off. I slow him down.
Mike's been incredibly grumpy lately. And I thought I had mood swings! He's been snappy and it pretty much boiled over this week. I don't know if I'm rubbing off on him or what but normally he's the calm one. (snort) And, of course, his moods have been affecting my moods. (sigh) Joyous fun and excitement.
Anyway, I am sick again but this time with that head cold that's been going around and I've been fighting off. I started feeling it come on yesterday. We got to Atlanta on Thursday night. Everything went fine with the hotel this time. We slept in a little and then did some stuff together. The main thing was dance lessons in preparation for last night's ball. We had fun with it and move pretty well together. So, I will definitely have to look into us doing that when we get home. We went our separate ways while I went to the mall to get my makeup done at the Clinique counter. It looked good. Mike looked awesome in his tux and I'll post those pics later. I don't have the connector for my camera. The ball was ok. I wanted to dance right away but Mike was "unwinding from the day" and we just sat there for a while. Made me feel grumpy. But eventually we did dance and it was lovely. We stayed for about 2 hours and then changed a little so we could go watch the hentai. It's always a riot because people go nuts with comments ("bring on the animated porn!"). lol
I apparently snored all night even though I had a nose strip on. I was so exhausted. And when I woke up, I didn't feel like myself at all. I felt like everything was coming from a long distance away. I just didn't feel connected. I still don't, not completely. So, we went to breakfast and then wandered around the dealers room. I bought Mike lots of stuff and got myself a few things. And I found a few more pins for the bookstore peeps. I need to get the rest tomorrow. Wanted to bring them something to show I was thinking about them. Jon, of course, is getting the most cause, well, he loves this stuff too. lol Maybe he needs to come with Mike next year. lol
I've made some contacts for possible signings and other stuff. I talked with one of my peers about helping her next year so, maybe if I'm working at the con Mike and I can keep from irking each other. Either that or I'll just drive next year and hang with Maya. Or work in the room. lol Everything seems to need to come back to work for me lately. It's about the only time when I feel productive and focused.
After wandering around I started to feel even more wretched so I came back to the room and passed out for a few hours. It gave Mike a chance to do his own thing and me an excuse to stay here. He came back to bring us dinner and was the happiest I've seen him in days. (sigh) I'm glad. I hate when he's grumpy. And I really don't mind being alone. Maybe that's what we need right now. Alone time. We don't get much of that because at home we feel like we have to spend our free time together since we don't see each other much. We love being together but we both inherently need alone time too. Another lesson learned.
So, there you go. As for the rest. . .we had some kiosk drama this year but nearly as much as last year. The worst part was the shipment not coming until the day before it was due. It really threw our schedule off and I didn't get a day off at all that week except for Saturday afternoon. Spent that shopping for the con so no real rest which is why I'm fried. The three newbies are gonna work out fine. They are good ones. I am so thankful for that. Everett is pleased with everything. As for the job, it's being left up to the new DM to make that call after an interview with me. It hasn't been set up yet but we'll see. There's a manager's meeting in mid-October so hopefully they will make up their minds by then. Mike's manager is gone too so they need to hire someone for there. School is going well but I just don't have any time for anything but work work work. I'm gonna give up reading anything "fun" and focus on my diss stuff during breaks. Burn out? Possibly but oh well. I'm not really happy unless I'm working a lot.
Well, hugs to all. Must get some rest now.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Results and Stuff
Ok, so sorry to have made you all wait. But no news is good news, right? Anyway, I am not diabetic or anything like that. My testosterone is a little high but we knew that because of the PCOS. So, no big surprise there. The rest of my levels were normal except that my cholesterol is a little high again so I need to behave. She's gonna retest me next month to check. Otherwise, she added a new med to see if it will help balance out the happy female times that seem to want to happen every two weeks instead of four. (sigh) Not sure it's gonna work though cause I just ended an almost two week run but we'll see since I only started the Metformin three weeks ago. If the combo doesn't work, then we'll be trying something else. (sigh) As for the anxiety and depression. . .that's much better. Lexapro seems to be the right one and is keeping me on a fairly even keel for the most part. I haven't had any major moments for a while. The last one was because of a hormone flux. Basically the jittery sessions happen before happy fun time. Otherwise, good to go.
Classes started two weeks ago. It's gonna be rough but I am enjoying being back. I am trying not to think about how much I have to do cause it stresses me out. Just taking it one day at a time.
As for the store. . .no word yet on what's going to happen. We should have a DM by the end of the month. That's pretty much the holdup. We're doing pretty well overall and getting stuff done. Always so much to do. The calendar kiosk goes up in two weeks so that should be interesting. I've hired some people for it and Everett is coming back (our kiosk guru) so I think it will be less hectic than last year. Especially as we only have one kiosk this year (thank God). Right now I'm just doing the best I can.
Well, that's about it. Hope you all are doing well. Hugs.
Classes started two weeks ago. It's gonna be rough but I am enjoying being back. I am trying not to think about how much I have to do cause it stresses me out. Just taking it one day at a time.
As for the store. . .no word yet on what's going to happen. We should have a DM by the end of the month. That's pretty much the holdup. We're doing pretty well overall and getting stuff done. Always so much to do. The calendar kiosk goes up in two weeks so that should be interesting. I've hired some people for it and Everett is coming back (our kiosk guru) so I think it will be less hectic than last year. Especially as we only have one kiosk this year (thank God). Right now I'm just doing the best I can.
Well, that's about it. Hope you all are doing well. Hugs.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Quick Note
Just wanted to let you all know that I've been working my butt off at the store to try and get everything caught and cleaned up. Already put in my 40 but still so much to do. One of the other managers came by and helped me yesterday. She wanted to help give us some breathing room and to give suggestions. All of her help is very much appreciated. She'll be coming again at some point to help more. Yesterday was pretty much helping us get the returns boxed and rearranging some stuff up at the cash registers so it looks less cluttered. It's all pretty now.
I didn't get to mention it before, but last week I had blood work done. My "female" doctor finally acknowledged that part of my hyper problem could be hormonal. Been having problems with the female stuff still and it's been wearing on my nerves. I still find it funny that insurance companies will listen quicker to claims of mental problems than they will to female ones. But hey, it's all worked out.
Anyway, I'll try and write more about it all soon. I have a doctor appointment to find out the results today so hopefully I'll be able to report back. Hugs!
I didn't get to mention it before, but last week I had blood work done. My "female" doctor finally acknowledged that part of my hyper problem could be hormonal. Been having problems with the female stuff still and it's been wearing on my nerves. I still find it funny that insurance companies will listen quicker to claims of mental problems than they will to female ones. But hey, it's all worked out.
Anyway, I'll try and write more about it all soon. I have a doctor appointment to find out the results today so hopefully I'll be able to report back. Hugs!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Live From Pittsburgh
So, apparently I spent a week in Pittsburgh and didn't know it. lol Turns out that when they went to change my status from assistant to interim manager, I was transferred to a store up in PA. We didn't catch it until Jon entered payroll last weekend. I was rather amused. I called Mike up and said, "Guess where I am?" "Where?" "Pittsburgh!" "Whaaaaaa?" heehee It was very funny. The added fun part was that I accidentally added a new employee to the Pittsburgh store because I didn't realize that it hadn't been fixed by the time I entered his info. So, he went with me. But it's all good now.
It was a very busy week. There is so much to do. We have inventory tomorrow. I need to get things organized for that. Fortunately we get extra hours for inventory so I am taking advantage of those hours this week and we'll be working towards getting the store cleaned up and organized.
So much to do, so little time. School starts in two weeks. I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage it all. But we'll see. Both Jon and Lindsay are doing their darnedest to work hard. And the two new people should be a good help. So, we'll be ok.
Anyway, I'm off today and taking advantage of resting since I worked hard all week. Hope you're all having a good one!
It was a very busy week. There is so much to do. We have inventory tomorrow. I need to get things organized for that. Fortunately we get extra hours for inventory so I am taking advantage of those hours this week and we'll be working towards getting the store cleaned up and organized.
So much to do, so little time. School starts in two weeks. I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage it all. But we'll see. Both Jon and Lindsay are doing their darnedest to work hard. And the two new people should be a good help. So, we'll be ok.
Anyway, I'm off today and taking advantage of resting since I worked hard all week. Hope you're all having a good one!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
One Final Drama Comment
Ok, all that drama stuff is behind us but I wanted to share something with you all. Not sure why Jonathan is still checking Melissa's myspace page since she dumped him off of it but there ya go. Probably so he could find what I'm going to share with you. Basically, my assessment of Melissa's attitude, etc was right. She posted on the 1st and vented about the store. She hadn't posted anything about the events until this:
"Life with me has been interesting as of late. As soon as I returned to SC from my Dad's funeral, I started working about 40 hours a week as the acting Assistant Manager at Waldenbooks. The actual assistant manager could not deal with working with my manager and decided to go out on leave due to stress! So for the past several months, I have been working hard and enjoying life. That all changed about four weeks ago. My manager and friend, Jess, told me that she was leaving Waldenbooks and going to a better opportunity. I was excited for her, but sad for me. She also told me that she put my name in to be considered as her replacement. That was quite a shock and an honor. So, I was preparing for an interview to be the manager. At this point, the assistant manager popped back in the picture and started up her crap again. She's miserable so she can't stand to see anyone happy. She's the kind that says all nice stuff to your face and then tries to find a way to stick a knife in your back. Anyway, she and her goon (one of my co-workers) decided to screw with me. So, I ended up deciding that I didn't want to manage either of them and that the store would have to find good management elsewhere. I waited until it was time for my interview and explained to the acting district manager that I was no longer interested in the position, but I had several things that she may want to be aware of that were going on in the store. She talked to me for about an hour, expressed her disappointment that she wouldn't be getting the opportunity to interview me and said she would make some calls regarding the information I gave her. Needless to say, the asst. manager and her goon may have gotten what they wanted but I put a few nails in their coffins on the way out of there. I figured whoever gets the store should at least be made aware of what they were going to have to deal with. So, as of last Friday, I am free!! I thought it was going to be sad leaving there but I guess since Jess had already left and the past two weeks had been miserable that it was a relief!! We celebrated Friday night and even went to Books-A-Million to shop!!!"
Ok, first of all, she was never acting assistant manager cause that position doesn't exist. As I was told recently because I'm acting manager, there is no assistant manager right now. It's not a position that gets temporarily filled. But whatever.
Second, Jess putting Melissa's "name in to be considered" for the job didn't mean that she had it. But that is obviously what she thought. Even if I hadn't been out on leave (and she makes it sound like I am a baby for leaving due to stress which was only half the problem) and Jess had said that, it wouldn't have mattered.
Third, ok, this part just makes me laugh. Crap? What crap? Oh wait, could the crap be wanting to reclaim the responsibility I have as the assistant? That I have to my job? As for not wanting to see anyone else be happy. . .(sigh). . .well, all I can say to that is I am a right idiot for wasting worry and mental pain on her. I was so torn up over how to make everyone happy -- including those who weren't making me happy -- that I ended up not being able to do it. I honestly don't know how I could stick a knife in her back when I tried to tell her to her face what my concerns were. Guess all she heard was me about to be competitive. Those comments sadden me. We could have been friends. But not with issues like that. I guess it's a good thing we never did get close because it would hurt more. It shouldn't hurt now but it does a little. I mourn the loss of a potential good friend. But I won't bash my head over it. As for calling Jon a "goon". Ok, I called her a bitch so I guess that's fair. But anyone who knows us knows that he is so not my henchman. That's what she makes it sound like. Ok, one last time, can we say martyr?
Fourth, notice she says that she "decided that she didn't want to manage either of" us. lol She is assuming that she had the job.
Last, yeah, she complained and I got yelled at. But this time I had my side in first and haven't had any comments since. If we can get everything under control, we'll be ok. All Melissa did before she left was to complain to anyone who would listen to her about Jon and I (on the floor to customers and co-workers like). She didn't do much work and what she did do was half-assed. I find it funny that she claimed that we were unprofessional when she was saying things like, "If he says one word to me, I'm walking out."
I showed this to my therapist this morning and you should have seen her reactions. Basically, she said some of the same things I mention above. Melissa has issues. I don't know how much of her ranting will hurt me for getting the job. And right now, I don't really care because I need to take care of what are my responsibilities. Even if they don't last as mine, they are mine to do now. Customers have been happy to have me back and I hear that a lot. Makes me feel good. As far as I can tell, none of Jess's regulars are leaving us. Why? Because we can still give them the service they want. So, I'll just keep plugging along and do the best I can. This can work. But that chapter is at an end. Time for a new book.
"Life with me has been interesting as of late. As soon as I returned to SC from my Dad's funeral, I started working about 40 hours a week as the acting Assistant Manager at Waldenbooks. The actual assistant manager could not deal with working with my manager and decided to go out on leave due to stress! So for the past several months, I have been working hard and enjoying life. That all changed about four weeks ago. My manager and friend, Jess, told me that she was leaving Waldenbooks and going to a better opportunity. I was excited for her, but sad for me. She also told me that she put my name in to be considered as her replacement. That was quite a shock and an honor. So, I was preparing for an interview to be the manager. At this point, the assistant manager popped back in the picture and started up her crap again. She's miserable so she can't stand to see anyone happy. She's the kind that says all nice stuff to your face and then tries to find a way to stick a knife in your back. Anyway, she and her goon (one of my co-workers) decided to screw with me. So, I ended up deciding that I didn't want to manage either of them and that the store would have to find good management elsewhere. I waited until it was time for my interview and explained to the acting district manager that I was no longer interested in the position, but I had several things that she may want to be aware of that were going on in the store. She talked to me for about an hour, expressed her disappointment that she wouldn't be getting the opportunity to interview me and said she would make some calls regarding the information I gave her. Needless to say, the asst. manager and her goon may have gotten what they wanted but I put a few nails in their coffins on the way out of there. I figured whoever gets the store should at least be made aware of what they were going to have to deal with. So, as of last Friday, I am free!! I thought it was going to be sad leaving there but I guess since Jess had already left and the past two weeks had been miserable that it was a relief!! We celebrated Friday night and even went to Books-A-Million to shop!!!"
Ok, first of all, she was never acting assistant manager cause that position doesn't exist. As I was told recently because I'm acting manager, there is no assistant manager right now. It's not a position that gets temporarily filled. But whatever.
Second, Jess putting Melissa's "name in to be considered" for the job didn't mean that she had it. But that is obviously what she thought. Even if I hadn't been out on leave (and she makes it sound like I am a baby for leaving due to stress which was only half the problem) and Jess had said that, it wouldn't have mattered.
Third, ok, this part just makes me laugh. Crap? What crap? Oh wait, could the crap be wanting to reclaim the responsibility I have as the assistant? That I have to my job? As for not wanting to see anyone else be happy. . .(sigh). . .well, all I can say to that is I am a right idiot for wasting worry and mental pain on her. I was so torn up over how to make everyone happy -- including those who weren't making me happy -- that I ended up not being able to do it. I honestly don't know how I could stick a knife in her back when I tried to tell her to her face what my concerns were. Guess all she heard was me about to be competitive. Those comments sadden me. We could have been friends. But not with issues like that. I guess it's a good thing we never did get close because it would hurt more. It shouldn't hurt now but it does a little. I mourn the loss of a potential good friend. But I won't bash my head over it. As for calling Jon a "goon". Ok, I called her a bitch so I guess that's fair. But anyone who knows us knows that he is so not my henchman. That's what she makes it sound like. Ok, one last time, can we say martyr?
Fourth, notice she says that she "decided that she didn't want to manage either of" us. lol She is assuming that she had the job.
Last, yeah, she complained and I got yelled at. But this time I had my side in first and haven't had any comments since. If we can get everything under control, we'll be ok. All Melissa did before she left was to complain to anyone who would listen to her about Jon and I (on the floor to customers and co-workers like). She didn't do much work and what she did do was half-assed. I find it funny that she claimed that we were unprofessional when she was saying things like, "If he says one word to me, I'm walking out."
I showed this to my therapist this morning and you should have seen her reactions. Basically, she said some of the same things I mention above. Melissa has issues. I don't know how much of her ranting will hurt me for getting the job. And right now, I don't really care because I need to take care of what are my responsibilities. Even if they don't last as mine, they are mine to do now. Customers have been happy to have me back and I hear that a lot. Makes me feel good. As far as I can tell, none of Jess's regulars are leaving us. Why? Because we can still give them the service they want. So, I'll just keep plugging along and do the best I can. This can work. But that chapter is at an end. Time for a new book.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Am I a Nerd, Geek, or Dork?
Your Score: Modern, Cool Nerd
60 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 21% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.
Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!
Congratulations!
THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST
| Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Which Buffy Character Am I?
Ok, now for a change of pace:
Your Score: Dawn Summers
63% amorality, 54% passion, 63% spirituality, 81% selflessness
Dawn is a person driven by her love for her friends and her desire to make a difference. Perhaps you are, too. You're willing to do whatever is necessary to do what is right for those you care about, and sometimes this can get you in a little bit of trouble.
Most of all, however, you have a heart of gold.
Congratulations!
THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST
| Link: The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Woohoo! Part 2
The house is ours! We did the closing last Thursday. And we didn't end up owing as much money as we thought because half of our costs were tacked onto our mortgage. Mike's been joking about how it's his house since it's his name on the deed and mortgage but we know the truth. Besides, I can easily be put on but I think we'll wait until we're married. That way we don't have to worry about a name change next year and all. Besides, all the utilities are in my name. lol
We are relieved. It feels so much better not to have to worry about this. Plus, we have a month's breathing room on the mortgage so we should be able to get caught up a bit.
Anyway, I'll write about the weekend later. Kind of tired right now.
Hugs.
We are relieved. It feels so much better not to have to worry about this. Plus, we have a month's breathing room on the mortgage so we should be able to get caught up a bit.
Anyway, I'll write about the weekend later. Kind of tired right now.
Hugs.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Back Stabbing
My God, it's been one heck of a week.
HP went pretty well considering that I was trying to organize out of my butt. I am so grateful that Jessica took the time to explain stuff to me. That was such a big help and makes up for a lot. Almost everyone worked their butts off on Friday night to help make the event a success.
I say "almost" because I'm sure you can guess who tried to sabotage it. Yeah. Melissa and I passed each other in the parking lot as I was coming in and she going out because Jess had scheduled her for a split shift. She was on her phone so no contact was made. Well, when she came back in, she had the nerve to tell me that she didn't know what to do! Um. . .I kind of explained it the night before. "Kind of" because she had told me that Jess had explained everything to her! So, I figured she knew what was going on. She certainly didn't have any questions when I asked her the night before. And here I was going to keep her as Mistress of Ceremonies like Jessica suggested! Omg. . .I was so freaking angry. But I didn't lose it on the floor. Melissa ended up spending the party time out in the mall doing virtually nothing. She helped Meghan with Potter Jeopardy at one point but spent most of her time either talking with Jessica or people she knew. The only time she actually worked was when the book was being sold and she was stationed at a register. And then she left the clean up to the rest of us and went home early under the excuse that Meghan was her ride when she had actually driven herself.
Can we say wanting to smack the crap out of her? But I didn't say anything because it would do no good. Why stoop to her level? On Saturday she was so less than cordial that it's amazing I kept my temper. She had told someone on Friday night that she was leaving because she found something better. Well, not much I could do until I got her formal notice. Which I did, on Monday. But not until after I had been chewed out by HR for things that Melissa told them. She slandered me and tried her darnedest to ruin my chances of getting the position. Hell, no doubt she was also trying to get me fired. Yes, some of what she said was true. Most of it was exaggerated. Like, she claimed I called her ten times last Wednesday! Since when does 2-3 times count? And it was because I was trying to make her a part of things like I was advised to do. AND, I even apologized for it to her the next day! I was so stunned that I didn't even try and defend myself much because it made me feel like I was in elementary school.
All week she has done nothing but be a bitch to me.
She thinks Jon and I stabbed her in the back. (snort) Yeah, ok. Sounds like the other way around. Especially with her telling customers that we ruined her chances, blah blah blah. Um, no. That would be herself and her behavior. She claims that I have no chance to get it because I went on medical leave. Um, legally that can't be a reason. And we all know why I was on leave. Yeah, like she's a stable personality. I have bitched on here but I supported her to the higher ups. I backed her bid for the position even though I was offended by her saying she would leave if she didn't get it because that was just plain childish. I have been nothing but nice to her and she turns around and stabs at me at every opportunity because she believes I did it first. (laugh) Yeah, I tell her why I'm applying and it's not good enough. Even now I care that she is all right. She went home sick on Tuesday and it took me asking her three times if she was better before she would answer me. And then when I asked if she'd been to the doctor, she snapped, "No, I don't need to go. I know what's wrong with me." Well, alrighty then. I felt genuine concern for her. That either makes me stupid or a nice person. Guess which one I'm going for. (sigh)
Melissa spent the afternoon not working and complaining. Lindsay will probably end up taking over for Melissa because the latter said that she has no motivation to work at the store and therefore would gladly give up her hours. I scheduled her the same as always next week because I didn't want her to complain that I was shorting her just because she was leaving. Yeah, and this is the person who claimed that she cared about the store more than anyone else.
Well, if what she wants is to leave. . .good riddance. We don't need for this drama to continue. We have a lot to get done and we're better off without people who aren't motivated. Plus, we need her poison out of the store. Once she's gone, I won't give her a second thought because I have enough to occupy me. Melissa can go off and play martyr elsewhere.
On the shiny side, I have learned a lot. And it's been a hard lesson. But I refuse to let it change who I am and how I care about people. I just need to be a little more careful about how I let self centered people affect me. (sigh)
HP went pretty well considering that I was trying to organize out of my butt. I am so grateful that Jessica took the time to explain stuff to me. That was such a big help and makes up for a lot. Almost everyone worked their butts off on Friday night to help make the event a success.
I say "almost" because I'm sure you can guess who tried to sabotage it. Yeah. Melissa and I passed each other in the parking lot as I was coming in and she going out because Jess had scheduled her for a split shift. She was on her phone so no contact was made. Well, when she came back in, she had the nerve to tell me that she didn't know what to do! Um. . .I kind of explained it the night before. "Kind of" because she had told me that Jess had explained everything to her! So, I figured she knew what was going on. She certainly didn't have any questions when I asked her the night before. And here I was going to keep her as Mistress of Ceremonies like Jessica suggested! Omg. . .I was so freaking angry. But I didn't lose it on the floor. Melissa ended up spending the party time out in the mall doing virtually nothing. She helped Meghan with Potter Jeopardy at one point but spent most of her time either talking with Jessica or people she knew. The only time she actually worked was when the book was being sold and she was stationed at a register. And then she left the clean up to the rest of us and went home early under the excuse that Meghan was her ride when she had actually driven herself.
Can we say wanting to smack the crap out of her? But I didn't say anything because it would do no good. Why stoop to her level? On Saturday she was so less than cordial that it's amazing I kept my temper. She had told someone on Friday night that she was leaving because she found something better. Well, not much I could do until I got her formal notice. Which I did, on Monday. But not until after I had been chewed out by HR for things that Melissa told them. She slandered me and tried her darnedest to ruin my chances of getting the position. Hell, no doubt she was also trying to get me fired. Yes, some of what she said was true. Most of it was exaggerated. Like, she claimed I called her ten times last Wednesday! Since when does 2-3 times count? And it was because I was trying to make her a part of things like I was advised to do. AND, I even apologized for it to her the next day! I was so stunned that I didn't even try and defend myself much because it made me feel like I was in elementary school.
All week she has done nothing but be a bitch to me.
She thinks Jon and I stabbed her in the back. (snort) Yeah, ok. Sounds like the other way around. Especially with her telling customers that we ruined her chances, blah blah blah. Um, no. That would be herself and her behavior. She claims that I have no chance to get it because I went on medical leave. Um, legally that can't be a reason. And we all know why I was on leave. Yeah, like she's a stable personality. I have bitched on here but I supported her to the higher ups. I backed her bid for the position even though I was offended by her saying she would leave if she didn't get it because that was just plain childish. I have been nothing but nice to her and she turns around and stabs at me at every opportunity because she believes I did it first. (laugh) Yeah, I tell her why I'm applying and it's not good enough. Even now I care that she is all right. She went home sick on Tuesday and it took me asking her three times if she was better before she would answer me. And then when I asked if she'd been to the doctor, she snapped, "No, I don't need to go. I know what's wrong with me." Well, alrighty then. I felt genuine concern for her. That either makes me stupid or a nice person. Guess which one I'm going for. (sigh)
Melissa spent the afternoon not working and complaining. Lindsay will probably end up taking over for Melissa because the latter said that she has no motivation to work at the store and therefore would gladly give up her hours. I scheduled her the same as always next week because I didn't want her to complain that I was shorting her just because she was leaving. Yeah, and this is the person who claimed that she cared about the store more than anyone else.
Well, if what she wants is to leave. . .good riddance. We don't need for this drama to continue. We have a lot to get done and we're better off without people who aren't motivated. Plus, we need her poison out of the store. Once she's gone, I won't give her a second thought because I have enough to occupy me. Melissa can go off and play martyr elsewhere.
On the shiny side, I have learned a lot. And it's been a hard lesson. But I refuse to let it change who I am and how I care about people. I just need to be a little more careful about how I let self centered people affect me. (sigh)
Friday, July 20, 2007
Big Bad and the Martyr
Empathy can be a killer. Michael told me last night that it was one of my best traits and greatest faults. Best because it makes me a good person. Fault because I will beat myself up with it by internalizing and what ifs. (sigh)
I am the Big Bad Wolf right now because I've returned to the pack and driven off the leader so I could take over. Yeah, right. The former leader drove herself off. I sincerely wish that Jessica could be doing stuff tonight like she planned because I know that she loves it and put a lot of thought into it. But she can't be more than a participant so I have to take over the leadership role. We're going to do most of what she planned and the two changes are because the higher ups said we should do them. So, yeah, there ya go. Jess suggested that Melissa be Mistress of Ceremonies and that's a good idea. She's the only other one Jess told all this stuff too and since someone has to watch the store, that's what I'll do.
Melissa is the Martyr of the title. I say this because before we got a chance to discuss tonight, she was telling people that she felt like nothing more than just a bookseller. Like her opinions didn't matter or count.
My God, what more do I have to do to get her to see that I value her help and opinions? I guess I have to actually say these words directly to her cause she's not getting it! I'm sorry that I stole her thunder. That I came back unexpectedly and took over the job that she assumed was going to be hers. Yes, she was doing stuff while I was away. But how is that different from when she was gone a while back? Jessica told me that our HR person told Melissa that she would be acting manager since I was on leave and that the first time she knew about me being it was this past Saturday when I asked about Jessica's keys. I know I kept Melissa in the loop about what was going on. I could swear I told her that I would be acting manager. Hell, I even went to her and explained why I was thinking of applying. I guess none of that sunk in. As for what the HR person said, no, there was never anything concrete said until it was known whether I would be back. Jessica was told that she could make recommendations in her resignation but that was it. So, I can only assume that Jessica is the one who built Melissa up to take this hit. And I'm getting the fallout.
All week I've tried to make Melissa a part of tonight and ask her opinions, etc. Jessica was going to her with the information but I needed it cause I had to have a plan. It didn't mean that Melissa couldn't know. It meant that I needed to know because I'm responsible for this stuff. If I'm in charge, then I need to know. I was fine with Jess handling it cause I knew she would tell me at some point this week what was going on. But once her being banished came out. . .well, that changed. HP is a huge freaking deal for us and the weekend is going to be insane. Hell, I even asked Melissa to be on the conference call so that she could be in on what everyone was saying because I didn't want her to feel left out. She didn't do it because it was her day off and she was with her visiting family. Well, gee, sorry about that one. Had anyone I know been visiting, they would have understood that I needed an hour to do this. Hell they would have understood getting a few (2-3) on Wednesday because people at the store needed to ask my advice. Yeah, I guess I've stopped beating myself up over this and am now getting angry. I gotta squelch that now so I'll stop the rant.
(sigh) You wouldn't think there would be this much drama from a bookstore. And all you writer peeps. . .mine! lol I am so gonna put this into a book. Wish me luck today! I have so much to do!
I am the Big Bad Wolf right now because I've returned to the pack and driven off the leader so I could take over. Yeah, right. The former leader drove herself off. I sincerely wish that Jessica could be doing stuff tonight like she planned because I know that she loves it and put a lot of thought into it. But she can't be more than a participant so I have to take over the leadership role. We're going to do most of what she planned and the two changes are because the higher ups said we should do them. So, yeah, there ya go. Jess suggested that Melissa be Mistress of Ceremonies and that's a good idea. She's the only other one Jess told all this stuff too and since someone has to watch the store, that's what I'll do.
Melissa is the Martyr of the title. I say this because before we got a chance to discuss tonight, she was telling people that she felt like nothing more than just a bookseller. Like her opinions didn't matter or count.
My God, what more do I have to do to get her to see that I value her help and opinions? I guess I have to actually say these words directly to her cause she's not getting it! I'm sorry that I stole her thunder. That I came back unexpectedly and took over the job that she assumed was going to be hers. Yes, she was doing stuff while I was away. But how is that different from when she was gone a while back? Jessica told me that our HR person told Melissa that she would be acting manager since I was on leave and that the first time she knew about me being it was this past Saturday when I asked about Jessica's keys. I know I kept Melissa in the loop about what was going on. I could swear I told her that I would be acting manager. Hell, I even went to her and explained why I was thinking of applying. I guess none of that sunk in. As for what the HR person said, no, there was never anything concrete said until it was known whether I would be back. Jessica was told that she could make recommendations in her resignation but that was it. So, I can only assume that Jessica is the one who built Melissa up to take this hit. And I'm getting the fallout.
All week I've tried to make Melissa a part of tonight and ask her opinions, etc. Jessica was going to her with the information but I needed it cause I had to have a plan. It didn't mean that Melissa couldn't know. It meant that I needed to know because I'm responsible for this stuff. If I'm in charge, then I need to know. I was fine with Jess handling it cause I knew she would tell me at some point this week what was going on. But once her being banished came out. . .well, that changed. HP is a huge freaking deal for us and the weekend is going to be insane. Hell, I even asked Melissa to be on the conference call so that she could be in on what everyone was saying because I didn't want her to feel left out. She didn't do it because it was her day off and she was with her visiting family. Well, gee, sorry about that one. Had anyone I know been visiting, they would have understood that I needed an hour to do this. Hell they would have understood getting a few (2-3) on Wednesday because people at the store needed to ask my advice. Yeah, I guess I've stopped beating myself up over this and am now getting angry. I gotta squelch that now so I'll stop the rant.
(sigh) You wouldn't think there would be this much drama from a bookstore. And all you writer peeps. . .mine! lol I am so gonna put this into a book. Wish me luck today! I have so much to do!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Madness
I am well and truly insane. Oh, wait, we knew this. Anyway, I started to write a post on Monday that said "Let the Battle Begin" and went like this:
"And so I have thrown my hat into the ring tonight. After a week's worth of deliberations, I decided to go for the position. Can I handle it all? Who knows. But I do know that we need some options just in case Jonathan or Melissa aren't really acceptable candidates. Unlike them, though, I didn't have to apply through internal channels. I just had to send my résumé to out HR person's email. Doesn't mean I'm guaranteed the position but I have a good shot since I'm already in place. Guess it all depends upon who else has applied.
I just couldn't get over the fact that Melissa is being childish about staying if she doesn't get the position. I mean, she could still move up a rank, so to speak. But she doesn't want to deal with people pitying her." (update: apparently she got enough of that when her father died)
I didn't get to finish that because of making dinner. Anyway, I have my interview today at 1p. Jon and Melissa have theirs tomorrow. Basically, if the HR person likes any of us, we then get passed on for an interview with the RD. Lord only knows how long the decision will take. For right now I am acting manager (small pay rise woohoo). This didn't sit well with Melissa because she was under the impression that she would be getting that job. Um, ok. The way this works is that when a manager leaves, the assistant takes over until the post is filled. I know that I was on medical leave when this all went down but that didn't mean that I wouldn't have that possibility. Anyway, that explains the freezing reception from her on Monday. She came in like she wanted to have my head on a platter. Look, I'm not trying to steal her thunder but I wouldn't have been able to just sit by this week and not go nuts worrying about stuff there. I have a string responsible streak and it would have been hellish for her and Jon to have been the only keyholders. Yeah, a weekend with only two is one thing but an entire week? And the Harry Potter week at that? Sheesh But she seems to have gotten over that because she was better with me on Tuesday and seemed more normal. But I don't know if that is going to last. (sigh)
Why do I say that? Because the week has turned into one glorified bomb. We got a call that Jessica will not be coming back to work at the store part-time. The higher ups think that is just too darn complicated so they have banned her from even doing the HP event with us tomorrow night! Eeeek! What does this mean? Well, since Jess didn't bother to share her plans with any of us beyond superficial ideas, it means that we get to try and make it work. None of us thought that this would be a problem. I've been trying to figure out what is supposed to happen since I got back because I hate not knowing.
Anyway, it means I was at the store until 8p last night (got there at 9) and am headed there this morning and later today even though it's my day off. We have a ton to do. Jess was a doll yesterday and came by to tell me what she plans because I need to know. She went by Melissa's to tell her, and that's great, but I wasn't going to get to see Melissa until tonight and I kind of needed to have an idea sooner. (sigh) But Jessica has some awesome ideas (I never doubted that). She's done this before so you know I trust her judgment. I mean, we did something too but it was a little lame. This one will rock. Hopefully Melissa believes that cause when I talked to her yesterday she was so pessimistic about it. We can do this. Does it suck that Jess can't partake? Yeah. Will we completely bomb without her? No. So, I have much to do today with that and house stuff. The bank's appraiser is coming by this afternoon after my interview (which is via phone) and then I have a conference call at 3p. After that it's back to the store to meet with Jon and Melissa about tomorrow. Oh, and on top of all this, I am finalizing the plans for the couple's shower. Thank God for Dale's sister and Ann-Marie. I so need to do something nice for each of them.
I'll try and keep you posted. Hugs.
"And so I have thrown my hat into the ring tonight. After a week's worth of deliberations, I decided to go for the position. Can I handle it all? Who knows. But I do know that we need some options just in case Jonathan or Melissa aren't really acceptable candidates. Unlike them, though, I didn't have to apply through internal channels. I just had to send my résumé to out HR person's email. Doesn't mean I'm guaranteed the position but I have a good shot since I'm already in place. Guess it all depends upon who else has applied.
I just couldn't get over the fact that Melissa is being childish about staying if she doesn't get the position. I mean, she could still move up a rank, so to speak. But she doesn't want to deal with people pitying her." (update: apparently she got enough of that when her father died)
I didn't get to finish that because of making dinner. Anyway, I have my interview today at 1p. Jon and Melissa have theirs tomorrow. Basically, if the HR person likes any of us, we then get passed on for an interview with the RD. Lord only knows how long the decision will take. For right now I am acting manager (small pay rise woohoo). This didn't sit well with Melissa because she was under the impression that she would be getting that job. Um, ok. The way this works is that when a manager leaves, the assistant takes over until the post is filled. I know that I was on medical leave when this all went down but that didn't mean that I wouldn't have that possibility. Anyway, that explains the freezing reception from her on Monday. She came in like she wanted to have my head on a platter. Look, I'm not trying to steal her thunder but I wouldn't have been able to just sit by this week and not go nuts worrying about stuff there. I have a string responsible streak and it would have been hellish for her and Jon to have been the only keyholders. Yeah, a weekend with only two is one thing but an entire week? And the Harry Potter week at that? Sheesh But she seems to have gotten over that because she was better with me on Tuesday and seemed more normal. But I don't know if that is going to last. (sigh)
Why do I say that? Because the week has turned into one glorified bomb. We got a call that Jessica will not be coming back to work at the store part-time. The higher ups think that is just too darn complicated so they have banned her from even doing the HP event with us tomorrow night! Eeeek! What does this mean? Well, since Jess didn't bother to share her plans with any of us beyond superficial ideas, it means that we get to try and make it work. None of us thought that this would be a problem. I've been trying to figure out what is supposed to happen since I got back because I hate not knowing.
Anyway, it means I was at the store until 8p last night (got there at 9) and am headed there this morning and later today even though it's my day off. We have a ton to do. Jess was a doll yesterday and came by to tell me what she plans because I need to know. She went by Melissa's to tell her, and that's great, but I wasn't going to get to see Melissa until tonight and I kind of needed to have an idea sooner. (sigh) But Jessica has some awesome ideas (I never doubted that). She's done this before so you know I trust her judgment. I mean, we did something too but it was a little lame. This one will rock. Hopefully Melissa believes that cause when I talked to her yesterday she was so pessimistic about it. We can do this. Does it suck that Jess can't partake? Yeah. Will we completely bomb without her? No. So, I have much to do today with that and house stuff. The bank's appraiser is coming by this afternoon after my interview (which is via phone) and then I have a conference call at 3p. After that it's back to the store to meet with Jon and Melissa about tomorrow. Oh, and on top of all this, I am finalizing the plans for the couple's shower. Thank God for Dale's sister and Ann-Marie. I so need to do something nice for each of them.
I'll try and keep you posted. Hugs.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Divine Retribution From God
That's what Mike called me today. lol We were talking about everything that's been going on. Cause, basically right now I have 4 main foci: him, the dissertation, the bookstore, and teaching. Not necessarily in that order. But that's just it. . .I have to decide what should be the most important. Mike said he wasn't going anywhere. No, but that's not the point. I like spending time with him. And if I can't do that, neither of us is going to be very happy. Mike considers work a big priority but both of mine spill over into my private life more than his does. It's all about time management. Gee, really? I so suck at that. lol
Why Mike said the title is because I asked him if I was driving him nuts with this stuff. He said no. Why? "Because I see myself in you. You're like a divine retribution from God for all the times I put off doing what needed to be done in school, or at work, or wherever." lol Basically, I always find excuses not to get started on stuff. Well, yeah, I knew that. I need things to be just so in order to get started. But in reality, those things don't need to happen. I don't need to have all of my books organized in order to work on the dissertation. That's just one example.
Sad but true. In theory can I do everything? Yes. In actuality? Dunno. The thought is that if I can delegate everything and prioritize just right, it won't be a problem. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? It would be if I knew better exactly what I want. It sucks sometimes to be interested in too many things at once.
Why Mike said the title is because I asked him if I was driving him nuts with this stuff. He said no. Why? "Because I see myself in you. You're like a divine retribution from God for all the times I put off doing what needed to be done in school, or at work, or wherever." lol Basically, I always find excuses not to get started on stuff. Well, yeah, I knew that. I need things to be just so in order to get started. But in reality, those things don't need to happen. I don't need to have all of my books organized in order to work on the dissertation. That's just one example.
Sad but true. In theory can I do everything? Yes. In actuality? Dunno. The thought is that if I can delegate everything and prioritize just right, it won't be a problem. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? It would be if I knew better exactly what I want. It sucks sometimes to be interested in too many things at once.
To Manage Or Not To Manage
The week went by quickly. I've been having problems with migraines but I think that's the weather because we've had storms on and off. Yesterday was the first day where it didn't feel like my head was gonna explode and it was sunny out so there ya go.
The only thing I've been able to do with the house purchase has been to get my insurance agent to start the ball rolling for what she needs done. The insurance inspector came by yesterday to look everything over. He'd called on Wednesday but I was resting so my head wouldn't fall off. When I called him back yesterday, he was actually driving towards our end of town. He kept saying how I couldn't have had better timing. It was funny. He was really nice. So, at least that's one more thing done. The rest has to wait until our mortgage dude gets back from vacation next week. But we should still be able to close by the end of the month.
As for the store. . .well, I've been thinking hard about the position. Jonathan decided to throw his hat into the ring and I think that's good. If Melissa has a shot at it, so does he. The problem is that neither of them has on their resumes anything that fits "at least one year minimum retail management experience." Being keyholders is not the same thing though Melissa believes that it should be. She feels that they will "do the right thing" and hire her because of all of the hard work that she's done for the company and what's right for the store (which is to keep the position filled internally). Plus she doesn't think it's fair that they would penalize her for the fact that someone (me) was already in the position when she came over with Jess. If I hadn't been there, or had quit, she would be the assistant. Probably true. But because she didn't push me out of my job, it shouldn't look bad for her. Um, ok, like she could have but whatever. I don't think she realized how that sounded.
Well, I spoke with our HR person and that's not necessarily the case. They don't usually promote people from bookseller to manager, especially if they don't have previous managerial experience. Plus, while they do prefer to start from within the store, if someone from outside applies who has more credentials, they will go with that person. (sigh) Well, we don't want to end up with a nightmare manager. So, Jon has been pushing me to apply so that there is at least a backup.
The problem is, I don't want to compete with Melissa. She really wants the job. I think that she'll be fine as a manger (but hey, I've been wrong before). The only thing that bothers me about this is that when I talked to her on Tuesday about the idea of me as backup, she said that if she doesn't get the position, she'll leave! She can't stand the idea that she'll be pitied for not getting it. People have been telling her left and right that she should have the position (including myself) and she keeps getting asked if she's going to be doing it once Jess is gone. Well, heck, I've been getting asked that question forever even when Jess wasn't going to be leaving. lol And no, I didn't tell her that. But she doesn't think that she will be able to handle the humiliation. Also, if the company doesn't reward her for all of the hard work, why stay? Um, cause if they bumped me up, she'd be bumped up to my position? And that would mean she'd be working her way through the ranks like people normally do? And if I was the one put in, people would logically go, well, that makes sense? Sheesh Hell, they might not even decide to go with me! Am I going to quit if that happens? No. Will Jon if he doesn't get it? No.
So, I'm going to apply. What happens after that, well, I don't know. We'll see. If neither of them was a truly likely candidate and they offer it to me, I'll take it. If one of them comes in a close second. . .well, I can always bow out. So much for making my life less stressful. lol
The only thing I've been able to do with the house purchase has been to get my insurance agent to start the ball rolling for what she needs done. The insurance inspector came by yesterday to look everything over. He'd called on Wednesday but I was resting so my head wouldn't fall off. When I called him back yesterday, he was actually driving towards our end of town. He kept saying how I couldn't have had better timing. It was funny. He was really nice. So, at least that's one more thing done. The rest has to wait until our mortgage dude gets back from vacation next week. But we should still be able to close by the end of the month.
As for the store. . .well, I've been thinking hard about the position. Jonathan decided to throw his hat into the ring and I think that's good. If Melissa has a shot at it, so does he. The problem is that neither of them has on their resumes anything that fits "at least one year minimum retail management experience." Being keyholders is not the same thing though Melissa believes that it should be. She feels that they will "do the right thing" and hire her because of all of the hard work that she's done for the company and what's right for the store (which is to keep the position filled internally). Plus she doesn't think it's fair that they would penalize her for the fact that someone (me) was already in the position when she came over with Jess. If I hadn't been there, or had quit, she would be the assistant. Probably true. But because she didn't push me out of my job, it shouldn't look bad for her. Um, ok, like she could have but whatever. I don't think she realized how that sounded.
Well, I spoke with our HR person and that's not necessarily the case. They don't usually promote people from bookseller to manager, especially if they don't have previous managerial experience. Plus, while they do prefer to start from within the store, if someone from outside applies who has more credentials, they will go with that person. (sigh) Well, we don't want to end up with a nightmare manager. So, Jon has been pushing me to apply so that there is at least a backup.
The problem is, I don't want to compete with Melissa. She really wants the job. I think that she'll be fine as a manger (but hey, I've been wrong before). The only thing that bothers me about this is that when I talked to her on Tuesday about the idea of me as backup, she said that if she doesn't get the position, she'll leave! She can't stand the idea that she'll be pitied for not getting it. People have been telling her left and right that she should have the position (including myself) and she keeps getting asked if she's going to be doing it once Jess is gone. Well, heck, I've been getting asked that question forever even when Jess wasn't going to be leaving. lol And no, I didn't tell her that. But she doesn't think that she will be able to handle the humiliation. Also, if the company doesn't reward her for all of the hard work, why stay? Um, cause if they bumped me up, she'd be bumped up to my position? And that would mean she'd be working her way through the ranks like people normally do? And if I was the one put in, people would logically go, well, that makes sense? Sheesh Hell, they might not even decide to go with me! Am I going to quit if that happens? No. Will Jon if he doesn't get it? No.
So, I'm going to apply. What happens after that, well, I don't know. We'll see. If neither of them was a truly likely candidate and they offer it to me, I'll take it. If one of them comes in a close second. . .well, I can always bow out. So much for making my life less stressful. lol
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Woohoo!
We got the house! Not sure what happened with the woman's bid but it doesn't matter cause we are on our way. Thank God. We actually would have known Friday night if we'd checked Mike's email and/or the mailbox. I was expecting a phone call, not an email. So, when Cindy got the mail for us yesterday and found our purchase agreement in the box, I was surprised and puzzled. It was signed and dated for Friday but I didn't want to get my hopes up that it was what it seemed since there was no note. I had Mike call Hite to confirm it. So, yay! We'll ask Hite later about why we got the bid. Simple curiosity.
Wow. . .it took my brain a while to process it all cause everything has been so stressful for the past two months (heck, longer than that). There's still so much to do but at least my body feels less tense. I mean, how could it not when both the work and home situations have improved. There's still tons to do for both things but. . .woohoo!
It's a good thing that I still have this coming week off from work. That couldn't have happened at a better time. Yeah, I know that things happen for a reason but I still get surprised by it sometimes. I knew there was a reason we ended up here last year. We were drawn to the place from the start. And even though it wasn't our first choice of rent, when it came time to make a quick decision to sign a lease or wait for the other option, we signed. I still remember walking through this house while it was empty. I tried so hard not to show how excited I was about it. And Mike was too. We see so much potential here and already have plans for what we can do to make it better. Mostly we want to add on to the house. Create a bigger bedroom for ourselves (my office is the largest bedroom right now but even that's not saying much for size) and add another bathroom. I suggested a while ago that we combine the bath and a half into one big bathroom cause they are back to back (the half bath is connected to my office). Mike also wants to add a sun room. Our backyard is big enough to support the future plans. It's so nice to dream that way.
So, now I have to get the ball rolling on the paperwork and finances for the house. Get the paperwork out for going back to work. Resume my job and get things there up to snuff for the RDs visit. Thank God I have Jon and Melissa to help with that. Gather what I need for Val's couples shower. Get stuff at the house organized and finally start working on that damn dissertation. lol I'm sure I'm forgetting something. No one can say that my life is dull, that's for sure. Oh, well, maybe for some people but not me. And that's cool. I like being busy. I just don't like being stressed out as much as I have been. I don't have the mental reserves for it that I used to. I think it's because I have a hard time getting into that numbed zone where I just exist and move. In a way that's a good thing. So I'll just keep on chugging and keep you all posted. Hugs.
Wow. . .it took my brain a while to process it all cause everything has been so stressful for the past two months (heck, longer than that). There's still so much to do but at least my body feels less tense. I mean, how could it not when both the work and home situations have improved. There's still tons to do for both things but. . .woohoo!
It's a good thing that I still have this coming week off from work. That couldn't have happened at a better time. Yeah, I know that things happen for a reason but I still get surprised by it sometimes. I knew there was a reason we ended up here last year. We were drawn to the place from the start. And even though it wasn't our first choice of rent, when it came time to make a quick decision to sign a lease or wait for the other option, we signed. I still remember walking through this house while it was empty. I tried so hard not to show how excited I was about it. And Mike was too. We see so much potential here and already have plans for what we can do to make it better. Mostly we want to add on to the house. Create a bigger bedroom for ourselves (my office is the largest bedroom right now but even that's not saying much for size) and add another bathroom. I suggested a while ago that we combine the bath and a half into one big bathroom cause they are back to back (the half bath is connected to my office). Mike also wants to add a sun room. Our backyard is big enough to support the future plans. It's so nice to dream that way.
So, now I have to get the ball rolling on the paperwork and finances for the house. Get the paperwork out for going back to work. Resume my job and get things there up to snuff for the RDs visit. Thank God I have Jon and Melissa to help with that. Gather what I need for Val's couples shower. Get stuff at the house organized and finally start working on that damn dissertation. lol I'm sure I'm forgetting something. No one can say that my life is dull, that's for sure. Oh, well, maybe for some people but not me. And that's cool. I like being busy. I just don't like being stressed out as much as I have been. I don't have the mental reserves for it that I used to. I think it's because I have a hard time getting into that numbed zone where I just exist and move. In a way that's a good thing. So I'll just keep on chugging and keep you all posted. Hugs.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Up Early Again
What a week! I couldn't sleep anymore even though I am really tired. Brain kicked in and wouldn't stop chugging. My doctor has said that I need to start meditating.
Well, they have approved me to go back to work. My therapist thinks it's great that Jess is leaving and sees no reason why I can't go back since my relationship with her was the main source of my work stress. But it won't be easy for a while since we have a transition to go through. Not sure who will end up as the manager but that is the least of the worry right now. Harry Potter weekend will be upon me when I return and I also forgot that our Regional Director is supposed to visit that week! Ugh Jon reminded me about it last night. Just what I need. Fortunately, everything looks ok at the store though I did notice stuff out of place, etc. Melissa plans on getting things cleaned up asap but still.
Jess apparently has a ton of paperwork that's been piling up. Am I surprised? No. Will I end up doing it? Dunno. Melissa told Jess that she had to do it before she stepped down but who knows how much weight that actually carries.
On a different note, the week was really stressful on Mike and I. We're fine but we keep getting into these tense moments because of finances and stuff. He knew that Jami and Cynthia were coming to visit and I had budgeted some of my money for that but he's stressed out about making our accounts look as good as possible for the bank. Gene (the mortgage guy) told is to leave as much in the accounts as we could. Well, I sat down and figured out the exact due dates of the bills (I have set times I usually pay them) so that we could maximize that. I can't tell if Mike is on my account yet or not but that is supposed to help. Whatever. I actually got back some money from USC for my spring tuition since I got approved for in-state because of the bookstore. That was a nice surprise because I didn't know what they were gonna do (check or credit).
All I know is I'm getting tired of the emotional roller coaster I'm on. The doc has upped the prescription. And we're keeping an eye on the new bc since that could be playing a part too. Oh, yay. Well, have a good weekend, all!
Well, they have approved me to go back to work. My therapist thinks it's great that Jess is leaving and sees no reason why I can't go back since my relationship with her was the main source of my work stress. But it won't be easy for a while since we have a transition to go through. Not sure who will end up as the manager but that is the least of the worry right now. Harry Potter weekend will be upon me when I return and I also forgot that our Regional Director is supposed to visit that week! Ugh Jon reminded me about it last night. Just what I need. Fortunately, everything looks ok at the store though I did notice stuff out of place, etc. Melissa plans on getting things cleaned up asap but still.
Jess apparently has a ton of paperwork that's been piling up. Am I surprised? No. Will I end up doing it? Dunno. Melissa told Jess that she had to do it before she stepped down but who knows how much weight that actually carries.
On a different note, the week was really stressful on Mike and I. We're fine but we keep getting into these tense moments because of finances and stuff. He knew that Jami and Cynthia were coming to visit and I had budgeted some of my money for that but he's stressed out about making our accounts look as good as possible for the bank. Gene (the mortgage guy) told is to leave as much in the accounts as we could. Well, I sat down and figured out the exact due dates of the bills (I have set times I usually pay them) so that we could maximize that. I can't tell if Mike is on my account yet or not but that is supposed to help. Whatever. I actually got back some money from USC for my spring tuition since I got approved for in-state because of the bookstore. That was a nice surprise because I didn't know what they were gonna do (check or credit).
All I know is I'm getting tired of the emotional roller coaster I'm on. The doc has upped the prescription. And we're keeping an eye on the new bc since that could be playing a part too. Oh, yay. Well, have a good weekend, all!
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