Well, I survived the holidays. It feels like the survival barely happened but what can I say when I work retail? lol
Christmas itself was pretty nice. Mike and I went up to see his mother in Charlotte. It was a nice quiet dinner and very relaxing. Unfortunately, I had to be at work for 6a on Tuesday so Christmas Day was short lived. The week went by fairly normally. My happy fun time kicked in on Wednesday so I came home early. I had off on Thursday. But Friday was really painful. Let's put it this way, it took me three Vicoden to get it to stop feeling like someone was using a wrench on my insides. Or maybe they were needle nosed pliers. I got through the complete shift but asked Kathleen to cover for me on Saturday. I know that she's looking for extra money and stuff so she was happy to get it. So, I took a vacation day. Mike and I got up and wandered around the flea market for a while. I figured that if I was gonna hurt, might as well do some walking and get some fresh air and exercise. I met one of his uncle's. Mike introduced me as his finacee. Yes, folks, that's what we're telling people. We even have plans which I will save for another blog. It was a nice day. We came home and just chilled out for the rest of it. Spent today doing leisurely things too since I had off (because I worked Christmas Eve). I asked for tomorrow off so that I could rest some more. My pills start again tonight so that should help.
We are planning on doing a quiet evening in for the holiday. It will be nice just to spend it together. This is our first New Year's together because last year I was in Pennsylvania. Well, as Kyle put it, not for very long but for the important event. I just wanted to be here with Mike last year. At least this year I get my wish and finally have someone (the first time ever) to be with to ring in the new year. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
I hope you all have a safe and happy one. See you next year!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Is Anyone Listening?
It's like talking to a wall. I swear that at least the bricks would reflect something back. What am I doing up at 7a on a freaking Saturday when school is out of session? Reversed insomnia. My brain is too rabbity for me to sleep. I got about 5 hours of exhausted sleep but I keep dreaming and feel restless. I don't want to wake Mike up with my fidgeting so I came in here to vent. This Christmas sucks but for him.
Why is that? I really hate my job right now. No, let me clarify that. . .I hate the damn situation. I really like working with the customers, helping them find books, and and even doing some of the business aspect of the job. What I hate is being treated like I am invisible and have no real experience. Like I don't know a freaking thing about XYZ. Give me a break. Am I perfect? No. Do I know everything? No. Am I willing to own up to my mistakes? Yes. So what's the problem?
First off, as you know, we have a "new" manager. She's actually been with the company for longer than me (five years to my two). But, she's never worked this store before or managed the kiosks though she has worked at them. Every store is different and has different needs. One of the major differences between her other one and this one is that we have a higher traffic. She seems jazzed and overwhelmed at the same time by that. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that she can't handle the situation, that she isn't capable of it. What I'm saying is that this is a different situation than she's been in before. She was tossed in head first without much warning. That is not her fault. If she'd had time to lead into the season, we all would be doing much better.
The problem comes in where she doesn't listen to those of us who have dealt with the place for Christmases past. It's not just me but others on the staff who feel like we belong to the Invisible Nation. How are we not being listened to? Well, one of the big things is scheduling. We don't find out until last minute when we'll be working. None of us but her and the two main kiosk people (for good reason) can plan anything because there is no rhyme or reason. I have it easier than most that way because of my position but even I am not immune. She does the schedule a day or two before the next week and there are holes that need to be scrambled to be fixed. Factor in extenuating circumstances and you have a recipe for disaster. I had everyone at a fairly set schedule but for requests off. Was I over in hours? Yes because we were having staffing problems and I was taking the time to make sure that people had training before being fed to the wolves. Is she good about trying to accommodate everyone? Yes. Very much so. But the planning needs to happen sooner.
Second problem is that we are caught in a catch-22. Our DM has been hammering at us about task work but if we get that done, we are ignoring the customers who are supposed to come first. Even when the numbers support us in why we don't get stuff done (because we don't have the hours to staff for it all -- that is corporate's fault), we get shit for it. We can't win. We have someone who hasn't worked in a store (that one in particular since the DM used to be it's manager) for well over two years coming in and bitching -- where customers can hear her -- about how disorganized things are when we're all obviously busting our butts helping people (I am speaking specifically of last night). It doesn't help that our manager runs to her with things that could be handled internally if she would just look to those around her for help.
And that's the crux of the problem.
A few of her former employees are working with us. They are a great bunch. One of them and I were talking about the matter the other night. She doesn't think that any of the store's original crew respects the manager. She doesn't understand that because the entire former crew would have done anything for their manager. Well, yeah, they worked with her longer and also under circumstances that weren't as stressful and dire as this. But respect isn't always an automatic thing. It has to be earned a lot of time. And it can fluctuate. Obviously jerking around people who could help doesn't aid the situation. This employee had some good points and she's right on a lot of it. The problem? While our manager tries to take into account everyone's schedule, she doesn't necessarily try to see all sides of each situation. Why? She has trouble focusing on one thing at a time (something who former employees readily admit is a problem for her). Things are so scattered that no one has a clue at any given moment what they are supposed to be doing beyond customer service. Couple that with a lack of allowed hours from corporate and a DM who keeps harping on numbers and other things (adding stress to our fearless leader who needs to be left alone to adjust) and it's no wonder that most of the crew would walk out right now.
And is that the point? I don't know. I do know that the DM doesn't like me. Well, the feeling is obviously mutual, non? But I try very hard to be fair about the whole thing. She has come in and helped us a lot from time to time. She is fighting with corporate over the lack of hours and planning us to death. I have openly appreciated these things. Unfortunately, more often than not, mostly she comes in just to criticize. There is no reward for doing well, only punishment for having problems. If things were more balanced, it would be fine cause that's how life works.
What I find amusing is that corporate sent out a "How to Survive the Holidays" poster a few weeks back. You know what? I think the higher ups need to have that branded into their brains cause they sure as heck haven't read the thing. It's all a big cycle. Are there going to be problems? Hell, yes. But they don't have to be compounded by hierarchical bullshit.
What is there to do when you start to hate going to work and become a miserable and bitchy wretch?
Why is that? I really hate my job right now. No, let me clarify that. . .I hate the damn situation. I really like working with the customers, helping them find books, and and even doing some of the business aspect of the job. What I hate is being treated like I am invisible and have no real experience. Like I don't know a freaking thing about XYZ. Give me a break. Am I perfect? No. Do I know everything? No. Am I willing to own up to my mistakes? Yes. So what's the problem?
First off, as you know, we have a "new" manager. She's actually been with the company for longer than me (five years to my two). But, she's never worked this store before or managed the kiosks though she has worked at them. Every store is different and has different needs. One of the major differences between her other one and this one is that we have a higher traffic. She seems jazzed and overwhelmed at the same time by that. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that she can't handle the situation, that she isn't capable of it. What I'm saying is that this is a different situation than she's been in before. She was tossed in head first without much warning. That is not her fault. If she'd had time to lead into the season, we all would be doing much better.
The problem comes in where she doesn't listen to those of us who have dealt with the place for Christmases past. It's not just me but others on the staff who feel like we belong to the Invisible Nation. How are we not being listened to? Well, one of the big things is scheduling. We don't find out until last minute when we'll be working. None of us but her and the two main kiosk people (for good reason) can plan anything because there is no rhyme or reason. I have it easier than most that way because of my position but even I am not immune. She does the schedule a day or two before the next week and there are holes that need to be scrambled to be fixed. Factor in extenuating circumstances and you have a recipe for disaster. I had everyone at a fairly set schedule but for requests off. Was I over in hours? Yes because we were having staffing problems and I was taking the time to make sure that people had training before being fed to the wolves. Is she good about trying to accommodate everyone? Yes. Very much so. But the planning needs to happen sooner.
Second problem is that we are caught in a catch-22. Our DM has been hammering at us about task work but if we get that done, we are ignoring the customers who are supposed to come first. Even when the numbers support us in why we don't get stuff done (because we don't have the hours to staff for it all -- that is corporate's fault), we get shit for it. We can't win. We have someone who hasn't worked in a store (that one in particular since the DM used to be it's manager) for well over two years coming in and bitching -- where customers can hear her -- about how disorganized things are when we're all obviously busting our butts helping people (I am speaking specifically of last night). It doesn't help that our manager runs to her with things that could be handled internally if she would just look to those around her for help.
And that's the crux of the problem.
A few of her former employees are working with us. They are a great bunch. One of them and I were talking about the matter the other night. She doesn't think that any of the store's original crew respects the manager. She doesn't understand that because the entire former crew would have done anything for their manager. Well, yeah, they worked with her longer and also under circumstances that weren't as stressful and dire as this. But respect isn't always an automatic thing. It has to be earned a lot of time. And it can fluctuate. Obviously jerking around people who could help doesn't aid the situation. This employee had some good points and she's right on a lot of it. The problem? While our manager tries to take into account everyone's schedule, she doesn't necessarily try to see all sides of each situation. Why? She has trouble focusing on one thing at a time (something who former employees readily admit is a problem for her). Things are so scattered that no one has a clue at any given moment what they are supposed to be doing beyond customer service. Couple that with a lack of allowed hours from corporate and a DM who keeps harping on numbers and other things (adding stress to our fearless leader who needs to be left alone to adjust) and it's no wonder that most of the crew would walk out right now.
And is that the point? I don't know. I do know that the DM doesn't like me. Well, the feeling is obviously mutual, non? But I try very hard to be fair about the whole thing. She has come in and helped us a lot from time to time. She is fighting with corporate over the lack of hours and planning us to death. I have openly appreciated these things. Unfortunately, more often than not, mostly she comes in just to criticize. There is no reward for doing well, only punishment for having problems. If things were more balanced, it would be fine cause that's how life works.
What I find amusing is that corporate sent out a "How to Survive the Holidays" poster a few weeks back. You know what? I think the higher ups need to have that branded into their brains cause they sure as heck haven't read the thing. It's all a big cycle. Are there going to be problems? Hell, yes. But they don't have to be compounded by hierarchical bullshit.
What is there to do when you start to hate going to work and become a miserable and bitchy wretch?
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Attack of the Killer Underwire
Well, I survived the other week. Barely, but it did happen. I worked a lot on the 8th and made Jonathan crack up. See, at one point during my shift, I felt this jabbing sensation on my jaw and was like, what the heck?!? Well, I looked down and my right underwire had poked through my shirt and stuff. I kept pushing it back in throughout the day. Finally, while I was in the back unboxing the shipment and Jon was on break, I just pulled it out and held it up. Jon didn't know what it was until I told him and he just couldn't help but laugh uproariously. I think it was the look of exasperation on my face and the fact that I called it the attack of the killer underwire. So, there ya go, Jon, I posted about it.
Poor Mike was a little late getting back here because of snow up in NH. He thought he was coming home to warmer weather but it was in the 30s here. (laugh) But it was so good seeing him come home. We were just so happy to be together. Saturday started out well. I went to the last Sat. class and listened to the last of the speeches. When I got back we decided to go to lunch. Well, on the way is when things got frustrating. Going over some railroad tracks, my car picked up a huge bolt that flattened my tire. Mike exchanged my donut for the tire. He's my hero, man. Just doesn't get ruffled by these things like the men in my family. He was like, "Oh, well, it happens." I think he enjoyed playing savior to the damsel in distress and I enjoyed him doing it. (grin) Well, I had gotten my tires from Sears with road hazard protection. But it sucked because I hadn't wanted to go near the mall. We got in with no problem. I asked them to change the oil since the car needed one and we were there. Might as well get something good out of going to the garage. After lunch, the second stupid thing happened, I left my card in the ATM machine. Didn't realize it until I went to pay for my car later. Sheesh. I was feeling very icky by this time so I was highly annoyed at myself. Mike was cool though so that helped.
Because we ran around so much on Saturday, we just rested on Sunday. The week went by quickly. I'm still having some pain and light stuff but it's been ok until today. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she gave me stronger pain killers for the next fun round after Christmas. My blood pressure was down to normal so that made her happy. That surprises me since the week has been hectic but hey, who am I to argue. I will be going back right before the semester starts to update her on what's going on. She thinks that things will start to straighten out after this next round and I begin the second bc pack. Hope so. I worked 10 hours yesterday and it killed me. I woke to pain and more than just light spotting. So, I called out sick.
And you know what happened?
Yup, you got it. . .I got berated for doing so. I pushed myself all the week that I was barely functioning because things needed to get done and made myself worse. But I call out to prevent it from getting worse and what do I get? A lecture about how it's the second Saturday before Christmas and there is so much to get done. To be fair, Jessica had asked me yesterday (after I told her what the doctor aid)if I was going to need to take some personal time and I said no. But that's because I was feeling ok and stuff. I honestly didn't expect to have this kick in worse last night and today.
Oh, and a chewing out about how we didn't get enough shelving done last night and why did I let one of my colleagues go? Well, let's see. . .could it have been because she was miserable about having to work? How she came in on her day off the day before and sacrificed time with her husband who she never sees? She was in a sour mood and traffic was light. Yes, she was doing work but how much does someone accomplish when they are miserable? Not as much as usual. She's a good worker and person. She only got to leave and hour and a half early. Trust me, not much more would have gotten done in that time. So, it was a bad judgment call on my part. Whatever. Oh, and I'm also supposed to be more of a bitch to people to get them to work harder. Uh, yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help. Never mind that we made plan last night (barely). No, I should have been able to get all of the boxes unpacked AND shelved a ton of stuff. Four of us should have been able to get a lot accomplished except that, well, Jon and I needed a break (so that loses us an hour of work time), and the customers (how dare they) actually expect people to help them. And never mind that my numbers were the best for the day. And have been for a long time.
Can you see why I might be having health problems right now? Mike got angry with me earlier today because I ended up on the phone with people instead of resting. Too much dealing with work. So, he turned off the phone. And I took a nap. And now I'm telling you all about it.
So what will I do? Plug on like always. I'll keep pushing myself until after the holidays. After that? I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be in this job which sucks because I really like working at the store, with the people (customers and coworkers), and being around books. But stuff has just been really stressful and I don't think it's all because it's the holiday season. I have earned vacation time and since we want to go somewhere in March, I'll stick it out for at least that long but afterwards? Job hunt, I think. We'll see. I am just not appreciated for how much effort I do put in and the same goes for some of the others. It never seems enough and I so don't deserve that shit.
Poor Mike was a little late getting back here because of snow up in NH. He thought he was coming home to warmer weather but it was in the 30s here. (laugh) But it was so good seeing him come home. We were just so happy to be together. Saturday started out well. I went to the last Sat. class and listened to the last of the speeches. When I got back we decided to go to lunch. Well, on the way is when things got frustrating. Going over some railroad tracks, my car picked up a huge bolt that flattened my tire. Mike exchanged my donut for the tire. He's my hero, man. Just doesn't get ruffled by these things like the men in my family. He was like, "Oh, well, it happens." I think he enjoyed playing savior to the damsel in distress and I enjoyed him doing it. (grin) Well, I had gotten my tires from Sears with road hazard protection. But it sucked because I hadn't wanted to go near the mall. We got in with no problem. I asked them to change the oil since the car needed one and we were there. Might as well get something good out of going to the garage. After lunch, the second stupid thing happened, I left my card in the ATM machine. Didn't realize it until I went to pay for my car later. Sheesh. I was feeling very icky by this time so I was highly annoyed at myself. Mike was cool though so that helped.
Because we ran around so much on Saturday, we just rested on Sunday. The week went by quickly. I'm still having some pain and light stuff but it's been ok until today. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she gave me stronger pain killers for the next fun round after Christmas. My blood pressure was down to normal so that made her happy. That surprises me since the week has been hectic but hey, who am I to argue. I will be going back right before the semester starts to update her on what's going on. She thinks that things will start to straighten out after this next round and I begin the second bc pack. Hope so. I worked 10 hours yesterday and it killed me. I woke to pain and more than just light spotting. So, I called out sick.
And you know what happened?
Yup, you got it. . .I got berated for doing so. I pushed myself all the week that I was barely functioning because things needed to get done and made myself worse. But I call out to prevent it from getting worse and what do I get? A lecture about how it's the second Saturday before Christmas and there is so much to get done. To be fair, Jessica had asked me yesterday (after I told her what the doctor aid)if I was going to need to take some personal time and I said no. But that's because I was feeling ok and stuff. I honestly didn't expect to have this kick in worse last night and today.
Oh, and a chewing out about how we didn't get enough shelving done last night and why did I let one of my colleagues go? Well, let's see. . .could it have been because she was miserable about having to work? How she came in on her day off the day before and sacrificed time with her husband who she never sees? She was in a sour mood and traffic was light. Yes, she was doing work but how much does someone accomplish when they are miserable? Not as much as usual. She's a good worker and person. She only got to leave and hour and a half early. Trust me, not much more would have gotten done in that time. So, it was a bad judgment call on my part. Whatever. Oh, and I'm also supposed to be more of a bitch to people to get them to work harder. Uh, yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help. Never mind that we made plan last night (barely). No, I should have been able to get all of the boxes unpacked AND shelved a ton of stuff. Four of us should have been able to get a lot accomplished except that, well, Jon and I needed a break (so that loses us an hour of work time), and the customers (how dare they) actually expect people to help them. And never mind that my numbers were the best for the day. And have been for a long time.
Can you see why I might be having health problems right now? Mike got angry with me earlier today because I ended up on the phone with people instead of resting. Too much dealing with work. So, he turned off the phone. And I took a nap. And now I'm telling you all about it.
So what will I do? Plug on like always. I'll keep pushing myself until after the holidays. After that? I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be in this job which sucks because I really like working at the store, with the people (customers and coworkers), and being around books. But stuff has just been really stressful and I don't think it's all because it's the holiday season. I have earned vacation time and since we want to go somewhere in March, I'll stick it out for at least that long but afterwards? Job hunt, I think. We'll see. I am just not appreciated for how much effort I do put in and the same goes for some of the others. It never seems enough and I so don't deserve that shit.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
R & R
I was supposed to work today but Jessica decided to work my entire shift since I've been busting my butt on top of being in a lot of pain. I was supposed to have had Sunday off but ended up working because there was no one else to. My shift was originally only supposed to be three hours long but I ended up working 9. It would have been ok if I hadn't been feeling like someone was using a poker to stir around my insides. On Monday I called the doctor and she gave me a Darvocet prescription. Yesterday, I actually called Jessica to see if she could come in early for me cause the Darvocet just wasn't cutting it. And, as I said to Melissa (new coworker), "I've already gone through two more arks and Noah's nowhere to be found." That was within a three hour tome span. But she didn't make it in early so instead she gave me the day off. She felt really badly about everything. That made up for a lot from the past few days. I've been working hard and my body has not been happy with me.
So, I slept for a really long time today. The pain is less but then again, I haven't been moving around much. Did the dishes and am working on the laundry but not much else is getting done work wise. Which is ok cause I need to rest. I do have the weekend off because Mike is out of town all week for a training school so I requested off so that we could make up for the lost time. Not that he misses me right now. He has new expensive machines to play with and that occupies his mind very well. lol I don't mind. It makes him happy to learn stuff and gives him a recharge that he needs every once in a while. Lord knows I have similar things that do the same for me. So, it's all good.
I finally got to Laurent and Natalie today. She's preggers again! Yay! So happy for them. The baby is due in April, a little over two years after the birth of their first child. I hope they have a girl this time. Laurent's family seems very prone to boys. It would be nice for them to have a girl to have one of each since they don't want more than two. It was so good to talk with them. I really miss them a lot. We are all so busy that time just slips by. But the good news is that I should be able to see them in March. I think I mentioned before that Mike and I plan to take a real vacation for my spring break. Well, we settled on England because I sigh over it every time it's mentioned and Mike would like to go out if the country. And I so want to take him to see some of the places I love over there. I so want him to meet Laurent and Natalie but I wasn't sure if they could meet us in Paris (like they did in '98 when Ken, Rose, Tara, and I went over to England) or not. It isn't too much more to fly in/out of London and in/out of Paris as a multiple destination trip. However, it is way too expensive to have Geneva as one of the stops. And Laurent and Natalie no longer have the space for visitors that they used to have so finding a decently priced hotel nearby was proving a little hard (though still possible if I could finagle Easy Jet flights to/from Geneva for over a weekend). The good news is that they are moving into a bigger place at the end of January and Laurent has invited us to stay with them! We can visit during the week because he has a lot of vacation time to use (unlike us pitiful Americans) and would be able to take 2/3 days off. Yay! We can go to Switzerland. I love that country and so want to take Mike there. And Laurent and Natalie are two of the most important people for Mike to meet. Laurent has been mon petit frere for over thirteen years and I think of Natalie as a sister. (I know that frere has an accent but the damn puter won't let me do it and I'm not sure how right now so sorry.) They are two of the best people I know and their "approval" of Mike is important to me. I know they'll all get along splendidly and I so want have that moment.
I am in such a good mood right now. I got to talk with two of my bestest friends in the whole world, I will get to see them in a few months, and I get to have a real vacation with the man I love. What more could I ask for right now? *big grin* Ok, I've thought of something. . .considering my talk with Val last night, for her and Dale to be able to go to England too and all of us have some London fun. Now that would just be the cherry.
So, I slept for a really long time today. The pain is less but then again, I haven't been moving around much. Did the dishes and am working on the laundry but not much else is getting done work wise. Which is ok cause I need to rest. I do have the weekend off because Mike is out of town all week for a training school so I requested off so that we could make up for the lost time. Not that he misses me right now. He has new expensive machines to play with and that occupies his mind very well. lol I don't mind. It makes him happy to learn stuff and gives him a recharge that he needs every once in a while. Lord knows I have similar things that do the same for me. So, it's all good.
I finally got to Laurent and Natalie today. She's preggers again! Yay! So happy for them. The baby is due in April, a little over two years after the birth of their first child. I hope they have a girl this time. Laurent's family seems very prone to boys. It would be nice for them to have a girl to have one of each since they don't want more than two. It was so good to talk with them. I really miss them a lot. We are all so busy that time just slips by. But the good news is that I should be able to see them in March. I think I mentioned before that Mike and I plan to take a real vacation for my spring break. Well, we settled on England because I sigh over it every time it's mentioned and Mike would like to go out if the country. And I so want to take him to see some of the places I love over there. I so want him to meet Laurent and Natalie but I wasn't sure if they could meet us in Paris (like they did in '98 when Ken, Rose, Tara, and I went over to England) or not. It isn't too much more to fly in/out of London and in/out of Paris as a multiple destination trip. However, it is way too expensive to have Geneva as one of the stops. And Laurent and Natalie no longer have the space for visitors that they used to have so finding a decently priced hotel nearby was proving a little hard (though still possible if I could finagle Easy Jet flights to/from Geneva for over a weekend). The good news is that they are moving into a bigger place at the end of January and Laurent has invited us to stay with them! We can visit during the week because he has a lot of vacation time to use (unlike us pitiful Americans) and would be able to take 2/3 days off. Yay! We can go to Switzerland. I love that country and so want to take Mike there. And Laurent and Natalie are two of the most important people for Mike to meet. Laurent has been mon petit frere for over thirteen years and I think of Natalie as a sister. (I know that frere has an accent but the damn puter won't let me do it and I'm not sure how right now so sorry.) They are two of the best people I know and their "approval" of Mike is important to me. I know they'll all get along splendidly and I so want have that moment.
I am in such a good mood right now. I got to talk with two of my bestest friends in the whole world, I will get to see them in a few months, and I get to have a real vacation with the man I love. What more could I ask for right now? *big grin* Ok, I've thought of something. . .considering my talk with Val last night, for her and Dale to be able to go to England too and all of us have some London fun. Now that would just be the cherry.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Playing Catch Up Again
Currently it's still Thanksgiving morning but I want to write this now and submit later so my previous entry isn't lost in the long shuffle. I've actually been up since 7:15a. Couldn't sleep any more. Too many thoughts running through my head. I felt restless and didn't want to wake Mike up with being such. So, what better time than to update here? I cleared out one of my email boxes and did a few other things as well before now settling down to write.
Let's see, I guess the best place to start is doing categories.
WORK: It has been incredibly hectic and stressful. You got a smattering of that back in the middle of September. Well, things got interesting right before the author dinner (which went pretty well -- it was a nice evening and we plan to do it again in February). Anyway, the gist of what was going on in August/September was this: our manager was doing a musical and thus pretty MIA for most of the last part of Aug and all of Sept. Now, he deserves a life because he does work hard and we figured that we could handle things until after the run. Well, we could have if we hadn't had one major debacle after another happen. The new hire problems were only part of what went on. The majority of the problems had to do with the calendar kiosks. I swear to God they are cursed this year. I don't know if it's because we have two instead of our one from last year or what but everything that can go wrong pretty much has with them. It's been enormously stressful and time consuming. So, with Tony unavailable for most of the emergencies, yours truly got to deal with them. Jon and Lindsay were a great help at this time as were the rest of the peeps (Erin, Felicia, Tyler). We managed to keep our heads above water but things were slowly degrading in the store because there just weren't enough hours in the day to keep up. We were massively over in hours because of the kiosk problems and so there were none to give towards improving the slide down (shelving, outside sales, etc).
We thought that things would settle down once Tony was done with the musical. And it probably would have but we weren't given the time to see because the DM decided to switch him out with another store's manager. To say the least, Jessica's people were less than thrilled with the switch. There was some major drama at first. And there was a great deal of tension between Tony and I over the switch. I don't know if he blamed me for what happened but I had tried my damnedest to keep it together and him from suffering any major backlash but I was obviously unsuccessful. Things needed to improve but this wasn't how I would have thought it would get done! Sheesh. And he's been doing some very odd things (out of character) at his new place that makes me wonder what the hell is going on. I think he may have burned out on everything and that makes me sad. But we have too much to deal with at our store for me to find out the truth. Jessica has been working her butt off to get things in order for the holidays which officially (EEEEK!) start tomorrow. She is under a lot of pressure from our DM to do a gazillion things at once and though I have been trying to take a lot of the stuff on myself, it just doesn't seem to help. I am also trying to learn her habits and quirks so that I can work with/around them. That's made things fun too. I'll write more about this at another time. The end result of all of this has been that I have been too busy to accomplish much outside of the store. It's a good thing that I like my job.
HOME: Everything is just peachy with Mike and I. As with all couple, we have our moments but 99% of the time we are sickeningly happy coupling peoples. Mike's been working a lot too so by the time we both get home, we just want to rest and spend some down time with each other. Unfortunately, because of us working so much (don't forget that I still have two classes to teach), our house still looks like a storage shed. We finally got me a few bookshelves for my office a few weeks ago but I only have a few boxes unpacked. A friend has snagged some shelves for us from a business renovation so we'll have more soon which will help a lot. I will feel much better once this place is together enough to have people over and we can stop living in our bedroom and offices.
HEALTH: You may recall that I said that I wasn't feeling well during the anime conference. Well, I made an appointment with the gyno to finally get it checked out. They didn't have any appointments available until the beginning of this month. I didn't freak out this time as badly as a few years ago (which had led me to avoiding the whole thing for so long) but it was very stressful. Fortunately, Julie (the nurse practitioner) is very nice and sympathetic and that helped. And she tried her hardest not to hurt me. She was concerned that I hadn't been "normal" for so long. That it just isn't healthy not to have the whole monthly thing. (Give me a break here, people, I'm trying to phrase things in a non-gross/overdescriptive way.) So, she wanted me to have an ultrasound done to see what's going on because I've been cramping and spotting on/off now since August. During the past week, I've been having bad lower back pain (cramps) as well as one icky day (which, were I "normal" would have been more than one). Michael has been awesome cause he is so not grossed out by any of this. And, bless his heart, he's been worried about me which is new to him (he's not used to worrying about people). He's been putting up with my moods (and there have been times when I have been a very moody bitch but just couldn't seem to care cause of all my frustrations -- but I do try and not let it get too bad). That probably nominates him for sainthood. lol
Anyway, my PAP came back normal. Most of the ultrasound was fine except that my endometrial lining is way too thick. It's supposed to be 8mm or less and mine is 14mm. That's not good cause it can be a sign of endometriosis or cancer. Now, considering my age (postmenopausal women are at more of a risk), it probably isn't the last but we have to be sure since both father and his mother died of cancer (Mum died of ovarian cancer). Normally they would want to do a D & C and test everything but given my spazoid nature about gyno exam type stuff, they (Julie and the reg gyno at USC) agreed that we would see if the pill will help. So, I am currently on a 10-day Provera treatment that should induce some really fun times (aka: good thing I have some personal/vacation time saved up). After that I start on Yasmin. In six months I'll have another ultrasound done to see if the lining has gone down. If it has, yay, no invasive treatment. If not, I get to take a nap and have a lovely scrape job done. Oh, yippee. (sigh) So, I will keep you all posted. I also have to go back in a month because Julie is concerned about my blood pressure. It's too high right now (gee, I wonder why). To help remedy that I am modifying my diet by cutting out all the crap I've been eating because I haven't had much time to make myself good food. I need to get the house organized so I can get my treadmill hooked up and start walking again. Mike and I are planning on taking a trip for my spring break next year. Not sure where or what but I need a vacation and planning a get away will help my stress level. Hell, I'll get paid for that week off (as will he) so why not?
So, there you have it, folks. A cursory catch up on what's been going on. I'll writ e more about work later. Hope you all had a good holiday! Hugsies.
Let's see, I guess the best place to start is doing categories.
WORK: It has been incredibly hectic and stressful. You got a smattering of that back in the middle of September. Well, things got interesting right before the author dinner (which went pretty well -- it was a nice evening and we plan to do it again in February). Anyway, the gist of what was going on in August/September was this: our manager was doing a musical and thus pretty MIA for most of the last part of Aug and all of Sept. Now, he deserves a life because he does work hard and we figured that we could handle things until after the run. Well, we could have if we hadn't had one major debacle after another happen. The new hire problems were only part of what went on. The majority of the problems had to do with the calendar kiosks. I swear to God they are cursed this year. I don't know if it's because we have two instead of our one from last year or what but everything that can go wrong pretty much has with them. It's been enormously stressful and time consuming. So, with Tony unavailable for most of the emergencies, yours truly got to deal with them. Jon and Lindsay were a great help at this time as were the rest of the peeps (Erin, Felicia, Tyler). We managed to keep our heads above water but things were slowly degrading in the store because there just weren't enough hours in the day to keep up. We were massively over in hours because of the kiosk problems and so there were none to give towards improving the slide down (shelving, outside sales, etc).
We thought that things would settle down once Tony was done with the musical. And it probably would have but we weren't given the time to see because the DM decided to switch him out with another store's manager. To say the least, Jessica's people were less than thrilled with the switch. There was some major drama at first. And there was a great deal of tension between Tony and I over the switch. I don't know if he blamed me for what happened but I had tried my damnedest to keep it together and him from suffering any major backlash but I was obviously unsuccessful. Things needed to improve but this wasn't how I would have thought it would get done! Sheesh. And he's been doing some very odd things (out of character) at his new place that makes me wonder what the hell is going on. I think he may have burned out on everything and that makes me sad. But we have too much to deal with at our store for me to find out the truth. Jessica has been working her butt off to get things in order for the holidays which officially (EEEEK!) start tomorrow. She is under a lot of pressure from our DM to do a gazillion things at once and though I have been trying to take a lot of the stuff on myself, it just doesn't seem to help. I am also trying to learn her habits and quirks so that I can work with/around them. That's made things fun too. I'll write more about this at another time. The end result of all of this has been that I have been too busy to accomplish much outside of the store. It's a good thing that I like my job.
HOME: Everything is just peachy with Mike and I. As with all couple, we have our moments but 99% of the time we are sickeningly happy coupling peoples. Mike's been working a lot too so by the time we both get home, we just want to rest and spend some down time with each other. Unfortunately, because of us working so much (don't forget that I still have two classes to teach), our house still looks like a storage shed. We finally got me a few bookshelves for my office a few weeks ago but I only have a few boxes unpacked. A friend has snagged some shelves for us from a business renovation so we'll have more soon which will help a lot. I will feel much better once this place is together enough to have people over and we can stop living in our bedroom and offices.
HEALTH: You may recall that I said that I wasn't feeling well during the anime conference. Well, I made an appointment with the gyno to finally get it checked out. They didn't have any appointments available until the beginning of this month. I didn't freak out this time as badly as a few years ago (which had led me to avoiding the whole thing for so long) but it was very stressful. Fortunately, Julie (the nurse practitioner) is very nice and sympathetic and that helped. And she tried her hardest not to hurt me. She was concerned that I hadn't been "normal" for so long. That it just isn't healthy not to have the whole monthly thing. (Give me a break here, people, I'm trying to phrase things in a non-gross/overdescriptive way.) So, she wanted me to have an ultrasound done to see what's going on because I've been cramping and spotting on/off now since August. During the past week, I've been having bad lower back pain (cramps) as well as one icky day (which, were I "normal" would have been more than one). Michael has been awesome cause he is so not grossed out by any of this. And, bless his heart, he's been worried about me which is new to him (he's not used to worrying about people). He's been putting up with my moods (and there have been times when I have been a very moody bitch but just couldn't seem to care cause of all my frustrations -- but I do try and not let it get too bad). That probably nominates him for sainthood. lol
Anyway, my PAP came back normal. Most of the ultrasound was fine except that my endometrial lining is way too thick. It's supposed to be 8mm or less and mine is 14mm. That's not good cause it can be a sign of endometriosis or cancer. Now, considering my age (postmenopausal women are at more of a risk), it probably isn't the last but we have to be sure since both father and his mother died of cancer (Mum died of ovarian cancer). Normally they would want to do a D & C and test everything but given my spazoid nature about gyno exam type stuff, they (Julie and the reg gyno at USC) agreed that we would see if the pill will help. So, I am currently on a 10-day Provera treatment that should induce some really fun times (aka: good thing I have some personal/vacation time saved up). After that I start on Yasmin. In six months I'll have another ultrasound done to see if the lining has gone down. If it has, yay, no invasive treatment. If not, I get to take a nap and have a lovely scrape job done. Oh, yippee. (sigh) So, I will keep you all posted. I also have to go back in a month because Julie is concerned about my blood pressure. It's too high right now (gee, I wonder why). To help remedy that I am modifying my diet by cutting out all the crap I've been eating because I haven't had much time to make myself good food. I need to get the house organized so I can get my treadmill hooked up and start walking again. Mike and I are planning on taking a trip for my spring break next year. Not sure where or what but I need a vacation and planning a get away will help my stress level. Hell, I'll get paid for that week off (as will he) so why not?
So, there you have it, folks. A cursory catch up on what's been going on. I'll writ e more about work later. Hope you all had a good holiday! Hugsies.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Just wanted to send out a little note to tell you all how much I appreciate you. I am a very thankful person this holiday season (as always). So much has happened in the past year and my head is still spinning from the changes. What am I most thankful for this year? Well, the obvious answer is Mike. I don't think that last year I would have believed that he and I would be where we are at this time. It is truly amazing. The not so obvious answer to what I am thankful for is still having all of my dear friends in my life even though I haven't been so very good at keeping in touch as I used to. Yes, Mike has been a part of what has kept me from it but it's been more that I haven't had the time or energy because of work, etc. You all seem to understand that and I appreciate your patience and love every day more than you could possibly know. So, Happy Thanksgiving! I will catch up with you again soon!
Hugs.
Hugs.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Party!
Ok, all, here is the post where you can sign up for the Angela Knight Halloween author dinner/Halloween party. Below is the poster I created (background created by Angela herself, the full picture can be found on her author website under vampires):
The $22 includes: buffet dinner, sweet tea, taxes, tips, and an Angela paperback! There will be various paperbacks to choose from or you can upgrade to one of the larger paperbacks for the difference in the book cost. I need people to please pay in cash so that I can split the money between the restaurant and the bookstore. There will be other books available to buy and cash or check is fine for those. If you have a special request for a book, I will do my darndest to have it there or at least mail it to you later.
Space is limited so please let me know asap. You can contact me via posting here (I'm thinking that would be the easiest way to insure that your email isn't lost) or the store # (8037324508). I won't be at the store this weekend but you can always reserve with one of my fellows. If you're coming from out of town, I might be able to arrange a discounted hotel rate. I'm going to check on that possibility today and update to verify. Hope to see you there!
The $22 includes: buffet dinner, sweet tea, taxes, tips, and an Angela paperback! There will be various paperbacks to choose from or you can upgrade to one of the larger paperbacks for the difference in the book cost. I need people to please pay in cash so that I can split the money between the restaurant and the bookstore. There will be other books available to buy and cash or check is fine for those. If you have a special request for a book, I will do my darndest to have it there or at least mail it to you later.
Space is limited so please let me know asap. You can contact me via posting here (I'm thinking that would be the easiest way to insure that your email isn't lost) or the store # (8037324508). I won't be at the store this weekend but you can always reserve with one of my fellows. If you're coming from out of town, I might be able to arrange a discounted hotel rate. I'm going to check on that possibility today and update to verify. Hope to see you there!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Happy Birthday!!
Sending out the wishes to Jami and Shawnna who share this wonderful birth date with me. Jami and I are the same age but Shawnna is a few years younger. It's good to know that all of our parents were stuck because of a blizzard. ;o) Love yas!!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Anime Widow
So, here's the second half:
On Thursday, I was supposed to have gotten home a little after 4p so Mike and I could leave for Atlanta early but instead we left after 6p. He was annoyed with me because he came home at 3p to wait for me instead of doing a last minute call that he’d gotten at work. Even though he was adamant that he understood that it wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t leave work earlier (Jon didn’t get into the store until 4p anyway so I couldn’t have left until then), he was mad that he had to leave a job unfinished before going on vacation. So, our trip started out on a very sour note. I was stressed out because of work – there was more to the stress than just what I wrote above but I’ll spare you that stuff – and because Mike was upset. I wasn’t feeling well (migraine/cramps) so that didn’t help either. It was just so peachy.
As you can imagine, I wasn’t too surprised with how the day ended on Thursday. We get to the hotel only to find out that they had over booked the place and we were being bumped to another hotel. This was at 10:30p. Mike had made his reservations back in February. Heck, there were people who had made them last November who got bumped. It was just peachy. The good thing to come out of it was that we got one night’s free lodging. Sheesh. Got up early on Friday so we could beat the crowds for registration to the 12th annual Anime Weekend Atlanta. Yup, you heard me right. Hence why I have the title of this piece. It’s a con that Mike has gone to the pats couple of years and is one of his favorite things in the whole world. Fortunately, nothing can make Mike unhappy when he is here or we would have had some major problems on Friday cause I was a much less than a happy camper. Lack of sleep, stress, etc. will do that to you. My mood was definitely black and cloudy. My final straw came after it seemed like we might still not get a room. Well, that and Mike admonishing me that I was being rather mean to the receptionist. Mean? I didn’t lose my temper or yell or anything like that. Was I chipper? Heck no but then why should I have to be? I wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to rest. No, it’s not the receptionist’s fault – hence the keeping check of my temper – but I wasn’t about to be uber nice and have them walk all over us. But I guess that I had my super intense scary face on cause Mike was annoyed with me. Hey, we got a room before some other people. Of course, the final straw came when we got up here and there were two doubles instead of a king! So much for snuggling and stuff. But did I go back down and yell at anyone or demand a different room? Nope. THAT would have been unreasonable behavior. Mike just doesn’t appreciate how much I was NOT a bitch on Friday. lol Granted I was being bitchy, but it could have been so much worse.
I ended up spending the afternoon feeling miserable and stressed out. Mike went and did his thing which was good because most of what was wrong was my own mind. And I didn’t want to ruin the con for him. And I did try later that day to cheer up and join in on stuff. But it didn’t really seem to work. Ok – and yes, I’m aware that what I’m going to say is contradictory but whatever – it didn’t help that Mike didn’t seem to really care whether I was with him or not. My presence was inconsequential to whether he was going to have fun. He was happy no matter what I did. On one hand this is good because I wanted him to have a good time. On the other hand, I wanted us to do stuff together. I wanted to be a part of this with him because it’s something he loves. I didn’t want to make him miserable with my mood and leaving me to my own devices certainly made sure that it didn’t but leaving me alone also made me feel cut off and isolated. When I did finally get into a better frame of mind to try and be sociable, my efforts seemed to go unnoticed. Mike later told me that I didn’t have to try and do anything, I just had to have fun.
(Sigh) But that’s just the problem, isn’t it? I had told him before that I didn’t want him to worry about me cause I can keep myself amused. But then I fall into the whole “I would have more fun being with you” trap. I would prefer to spend the con time with Mike but not everything he wanted to see is something I find interesting. 95% of what I did watch was pretty good but there were some things I just couldn’t raise the energy for. Part of it is that I’m too damned tired. The last few months have sapped me out and I just don’t have much energy right now. I’ve had to take naps the past two days in the afternoon just so I could function at night.
At any rate, this is all a problem with me. I realized yesterday morning that here I am like women who are with football crazed fans – the sport takes precedence over the relationship. So, I am an anime widow instead of a football widow. The major difference is that I only have to deal with “losing” Mike for one weekend a year instead of months. lol Mike is used to doing his own thing at the con. He’s not used to having someone else around with him. He wants me to have a good time but not the expense of his good time here. And since it’s his “thing”, what he wants matters more. If this were my con, then the roles would be reversed. It has certainly been a learning experience, that’s for sure.
Yesterday was much better. After some sleep, I was ok to do stuff. Mike and I were together on and off throughout the day. Had a really stressful phone call from Jon about more problems at the store (Tyler was hit in the eye with a cord at the kiosk, another person called out due to home problems with a water main, etc). Grrr. But then Mike and I had a nice dinner. He bought me a bag that I had thought was cool. And he got me a pair of cat ears cause I said that I wanted some. They’re pretty cool. We watched a few hours of shows. They were pretty good and I feel better about everything. I found some that I could get into. I’ll never be as into this stuff as he is but that’s ok. I don’t need to be. So long as he’s ok with that, I’m ok with it. I did drag him to see some Hentai (cartoon porn) cause I was curious about it. The first one was, well, interesting. The second one was funny and the audience was a good one to be with. Overall, the day ended pretty well even if he didn’t come back to the room with me and. . . . lol
Today we have spent the entire time apart. There weren’t any shows that I wanted to see. So, I went shopping instead. Got a few more stocking stuffers for Christmas. And wandered to the mall so I could get some stuff. But I am still tired and feeling eh. I know that part of my mood is because tomorrow is my birthday and I am always a grump around it cause it never goes quite the way I want it too. I’ll live. Mike should be back soon. The closing ceremonies should be over by now and I can finally have him back. Would really like a good long cuddle right now.
On Thursday, I was supposed to have gotten home a little after 4p so Mike and I could leave for Atlanta early but instead we left after 6p. He was annoyed with me because he came home at 3p to wait for me instead of doing a last minute call that he’d gotten at work. Even though he was adamant that he understood that it wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t leave work earlier (Jon didn’t get into the store until 4p anyway so I couldn’t have left until then), he was mad that he had to leave a job unfinished before going on vacation. So, our trip started out on a very sour note. I was stressed out because of work – there was more to the stress than just what I wrote above but I’ll spare you that stuff – and because Mike was upset. I wasn’t feeling well (migraine/cramps) so that didn’t help either. It was just so peachy.
As you can imagine, I wasn’t too surprised with how the day ended on Thursday. We get to the hotel only to find out that they had over booked the place and we were being bumped to another hotel. This was at 10:30p. Mike had made his reservations back in February. Heck, there were people who had made them last November who got bumped. It was just peachy. The good thing to come out of it was that we got one night’s free lodging. Sheesh. Got up early on Friday so we could beat the crowds for registration to the 12th annual Anime Weekend Atlanta. Yup, you heard me right. Hence why I have the title of this piece. It’s a con that Mike has gone to the pats couple of years and is one of his favorite things in the whole world. Fortunately, nothing can make Mike unhappy when he is here or we would have had some major problems on Friday cause I was a much less than a happy camper. Lack of sleep, stress, etc. will do that to you. My mood was definitely black and cloudy. My final straw came after it seemed like we might still not get a room. Well, that and Mike admonishing me that I was being rather mean to the receptionist. Mean? I didn’t lose my temper or yell or anything like that. Was I chipper? Heck no but then why should I have to be? I wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to rest. No, it’s not the receptionist’s fault – hence the keeping check of my temper – but I wasn’t about to be uber nice and have them walk all over us. But I guess that I had my super intense scary face on cause Mike was annoyed with me. Hey, we got a room before some other people. Of course, the final straw came when we got up here and there were two doubles instead of a king! So much for snuggling and stuff. But did I go back down and yell at anyone or demand a different room? Nope. THAT would have been unreasonable behavior. Mike just doesn’t appreciate how much I was NOT a bitch on Friday. lol Granted I was being bitchy, but it could have been so much worse.
I ended up spending the afternoon feeling miserable and stressed out. Mike went and did his thing which was good because most of what was wrong was my own mind. And I didn’t want to ruin the con for him. And I did try later that day to cheer up and join in on stuff. But it didn’t really seem to work. Ok – and yes, I’m aware that what I’m going to say is contradictory but whatever – it didn’t help that Mike didn’t seem to really care whether I was with him or not. My presence was inconsequential to whether he was going to have fun. He was happy no matter what I did. On one hand this is good because I wanted him to have a good time. On the other hand, I wanted us to do stuff together. I wanted to be a part of this with him because it’s something he loves. I didn’t want to make him miserable with my mood and leaving me to my own devices certainly made sure that it didn’t but leaving me alone also made me feel cut off and isolated. When I did finally get into a better frame of mind to try and be sociable, my efforts seemed to go unnoticed. Mike later told me that I didn’t have to try and do anything, I just had to have fun.
(Sigh) But that’s just the problem, isn’t it? I had told him before that I didn’t want him to worry about me cause I can keep myself amused. But then I fall into the whole “I would have more fun being with you” trap. I would prefer to spend the con time with Mike but not everything he wanted to see is something I find interesting. 95% of what I did watch was pretty good but there were some things I just couldn’t raise the energy for. Part of it is that I’m too damned tired. The last few months have sapped me out and I just don’t have much energy right now. I’ve had to take naps the past two days in the afternoon just so I could function at night.
At any rate, this is all a problem with me. I realized yesterday morning that here I am like women who are with football crazed fans – the sport takes precedence over the relationship. So, I am an anime widow instead of a football widow. The major difference is that I only have to deal with “losing” Mike for one weekend a year instead of months. lol Mike is used to doing his own thing at the con. He’s not used to having someone else around with him. He wants me to have a good time but not the expense of his good time here. And since it’s his “thing”, what he wants matters more. If this were my con, then the roles would be reversed. It has certainly been a learning experience, that’s for sure.
Yesterday was much better. After some sleep, I was ok to do stuff. Mike and I were together on and off throughout the day. Had a really stressful phone call from Jon about more problems at the store (Tyler was hit in the eye with a cord at the kiosk, another person called out due to home problems with a water main, etc). Grrr. But then Mike and I had a nice dinner. He bought me a bag that I had thought was cool. And he got me a pair of cat ears cause I said that I wanted some. They’re pretty cool. We watched a few hours of shows. They were pretty good and I feel better about everything. I found some that I could get into. I’ll never be as into this stuff as he is but that’s ok. I don’t need to be. So long as he’s ok with that, I’m ok with it. I did drag him to see some Hentai (cartoon porn) cause I was curious about it. The first one was, well, interesting. The second one was funny and the audience was a good one to be with. Overall, the day ended pretty well even if he didn’t come back to the room with me and. . . . lol
Today we have spent the entire time apart. There weren’t any shows that I wanted to see. So, I went shopping instead. Got a few more stocking stuffers for Christmas. And wandered to the mall so I could get some stuff. But I am still tired and feeling eh. I know that part of my mood is because tomorrow is my birthday and I am always a grump around it cause it never goes quite the way I want it too. I’ll live. Mike should be back soon. The closing ceremonies should be over by now and I can finally have him back. Would really like a good long cuddle right now.
And Now For Something Completely Stressful
Ok, I'm gonna have to do this as two separate entries so here's the first:
Man, has it only been ten days since I last wrote? Since like much longer than that. I am currently in an Atlanta hotel room waiting for Mike to return from the closing ceremonies of the convention we have been at. It’s been an interesting and educational weekend. But before I go into that, let me set it all up from the last time I wrote.
I mentioned how fubar things have been going with our calendar kiosks. I swear to God that they are cursed this year. We keep having the worst luck with finding enough good and reliable employees. It so wasn’t this hard the past few years. But then, we weren’t stuck with two kiosks either. Plus, even though the gas prices are going down, people are still not shopping like last year. That should hopefully change later in the season but fiscal September sucked big time.
Anyway, the employee situation. . .we have some really good and reliable people so far (thank you Felicia, Tyler, and Kaitlyn) and I just found another one who stepped up and helped us out a lot last week (thanks Mark). But we have also been having an even bigger problem with others (names being withheld on purpose). The first person to quit was because he didn’t realize that we sold as much “porn” as we do. Ummm. . .ok. Let’s just say that his definition of the word included the swimsuit calendars as well as karma sutra books. Whatever. The second person to quit was because she was bored out of her mind. We warn everyone that the kiosks are mind numbing at this time of year. But it does get better. She set us up for much scheduling headaches because she quit in the middle of her shift without warning. The third major quit was a bigger loss because she seemed like she would have fit in well with us. We lost her because she didn’t realize that we were only hiring seasonal employees with no guarantee that they can stay beyond the end of the holidays. Not sure why this wasn’t clear to begin with but the pay wasn’t what she expected either. I do hope that she does better at her next job. I think I missed someone else on the quitting front but my brain is too fried to remember all.
Then there’s the big headache with another employee who has awesome availability on paper but has proven unreliable in various ways. Let’s see, first off, her interview was fine. Nothing spectacular. She wasn’t super vocal or anything but no major red flags went off. Tony found her to be a little too reticent for his taste but was willing to give her a try. Things started off ok. She had problems with closing the register down but that’s fairly normal the first time so no biggie. But the problem didn’t get better. Over the course of a week and a half she messed up her stuff – even with help – so much that we can’t have her closing for a while. None of the others care for her because of certain attitudes that have been given off so that doesn’t help matters. She called off sick the one night which isn’t a big deal in and of itself but it added fuel. The near final straw came when we realized that she was wandering away from the kiosk without us knowing where she was. That and she was caught texting on her cell phone. We’ve been running spot checks on her and all looked ok but it all just happened too much at once. Too many screw ups in a short amount of time. Tony didn’t want to fire her but instead he wanted to cut her back to two days a week. Considering that she wanted a lot of hours and stuff, I could pretty much guarantee that she was going to quit because of it. He hates to fire people. And he wanted to give her some time to get her act together unless she was caught doing any of the above things again. Well, I haven’t scheduled her at all for next week and I’ll tell you why: she called out at the last minute on Thursday night to say that she couldn’t come in because she’d just been evicted from her apartment and only had the evening to get her stuff out. I know that it doesn’t work that way without warning but that was the final straw for me. I left her off the schedule because I had no way of talking with Tony before I wrote it up. We can’t afford to keep putting up with this stuff. Plus, the eviction puts her into the company’s red flag zone as far as loss/prevention is concerned.
It didn’t help matters that Kaitlyn had already called out earlier in the day because she was really sick (she’d caught what was going around) and we hadn’t yet found someone to replace her. No one could come in except for the new guy. We were also having problems with both kiosk registers all week and on Thursday. The week was very stressful.
Man, has it only been ten days since I last wrote? Since like much longer than that. I am currently in an Atlanta hotel room waiting for Mike to return from the closing ceremonies of the convention we have been at. It’s been an interesting and educational weekend. But before I go into that, let me set it all up from the last time I wrote.
I mentioned how fubar things have been going with our calendar kiosks. I swear to God that they are cursed this year. We keep having the worst luck with finding enough good and reliable employees. It so wasn’t this hard the past few years. But then, we weren’t stuck with two kiosks either. Plus, even though the gas prices are going down, people are still not shopping like last year. That should hopefully change later in the season but fiscal September sucked big time.
Anyway, the employee situation. . .we have some really good and reliable people so far (thank you Felicia, Tyler, and Kaitlyn) and I just found another one who stepped up and helped us out a lot last week (thanks Mark). But we have also been having an even bigger problem with others (names being withheld on purpose). The first person to quit was because he didn’t realize that we sold as much “porn” as we do. Ummm. . .ok. Let’s just say that his definition of the word included the swimsuit calendars as well as karma sutra books. Whatever. The second person to quit was because she was bored out of her mind. We warn everyone that the kiosks are mind numbing at this time of year. But it does get better. She set us up for much scheduling headaches because she quit in the middle of her shift without warning. The third major quit was a bigger loss because she seemed like she would have fit in well with us. We lost her because she didn’t realize that we were only hiring seasonal employees with no guarantee that they can stay beyond the end of the holidays. Not sure why this wasn’t clear to begin with but the pay wasn’t what she expected either. I do hope that she does better at her next job. I think I missed someone else on the quitting front but my brain is too fried to remember all.
Then there’s the big headache with another employee who has awesome availability on paper but has proven unreliable in various ways. Let’s see, first off, her interview was fine. Nothing spectacular. She wasn’t super vocal or anything but no major red flags went off. Tony found her to be a little too reticent for his taste but was willing to give her a try. Things started off ok. She had problems with closing the register down but that’s fairly normal the first time so no biggie. But the problem didn’t get better. Over the course of a week and a half she messed up her stuff – even with help – so much that we can’t have her closing for a while. None of the others care for her because of certain attitudes that have been given off so that doesn’t help matters. She called off sick the one night which isn’t a big deal in and of itself but it added fuel. The near final straw came when we realized that she was wandering away from the kiosk without us knowing where she was. That and she was caught texting on her cell phone. We’ve been running spot checks on her and all looked ok but it all just happened too much at once. Too many screw ups in a short amount of time. Tony didn’t want to fire her but instead he wanted to cut her back to two days a week. Considering that she wanted a lot of hours and stuff, I could pretty much guarantee that she was going to quit because of it. He hates to fire people. And he wanted to give her some time to get her act together unless she was caught doing any of the above things again. Well, I haven’t scheduled her at all for next week and I’ll tell you why: she called out at the last minute on Thursday night to say that she couldn’t come in because she’d just been evicted from her apartment and only had the evening to get her stuff out. I know that it doesn’t work that way without warning but that was the final straw for me. I left her off the schedule because I had no way of talking with Tony before I wrote it up. We can’t afford to keep putting up with this stuff. Plus, the eviction puts her into the company’s red flag zone as far as loss/prevention is concerned.
It didn’t help matters that Kaitlyn had already called out earlier in the day because she was really sick (she’d caught what was going around) and we hadn’t yet found someone to replace her. No one could come in except for the new guy. We were also having problems with both kiosk registers all week and on Thursday. The week was very stressful.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Egads!!
I tell you, I feel like I'm cut off from civilization and miss you all so much. You can't blame it on Mike though. This isn't a case of spending all my "free time with a guy syndrome." No, that would have been earlier this year. Mike and I have settled into comfortable coupledom. What's been keeping me away has been work. I'm rarely home at a decent hour and when I am, I'm too tired to write. But I am planning on changing that. I feel like a big meanie for neglecting you all and I am sooooo sorry.
Anyway, it's probably best to just give a brief synopsis of the past two months. Mike and I moved into a four bedroom house in the middle of July. Packing and stuff pretty much took up the end of June until end of July. Took us two weekends to move everything. We were smart and did an overlap of the two places (Mike's idea) so that we could space out the moving. I have so much stuff! Omg, it's insane. Since then we have settled into a comfortable routine but have been so busy that we haven't been able to really unpack. It feels like we're living in our storage area. lol But we have to get cracking because Valerie is coming to visit with her fiance (yes, you heard me right -- she's engaged!) so we need to have a place for them to sleep. It's good though cause I really need to get a move on. Part of the reason we didn't unpack much is because I needed to wait for school to start up again so I can afford bookshelves. lol Mike's convinced I have way more books than I think I do (which is over 4000).
I was going to try and catch up two weeks ago but ended up with a nasty sinus infection. It's been making the rounds. I didn't take off from work so it ended up hanging on far longer than it should have. I worked my ass off last week (almost 50 hours at the store plus teaching hours). So, I gave myself two days off in a row this week. Was gonna catch up yesterday but the rain made me feel blech so I slept. Been feeling insomniatic this week. Really need a break. So, Mike and I are planning on going away to the mountains during my fall break.
I really like working at the bookstore but it is sucking up way more of my energy than it should. The last two weeks have been the worst because we were trying to get our calendar kiosks (yes, this year we have two, oh joy) up and there was major fubaredness happening (none of it our fault -- thank the corporate crackheads for this one). It didn't help that I was sick and Tony (manager) was sick at the same time. He's in rehearsals for a musical and that's sapping him. We've all been covering and taking care of more things so that he can focus on it cause it's something he loves to do. Thought it would make him happy but I dunno. He was majorly stressed the last two weeks because of everything and he took it out on us big time. It wasn't just one of his brief minute spazzes but a stretched out one. And none of us needs this kind of stress. The good thing is that the rest of us are backing each other up in the schedule, etc. Jon and I rotate weekends and now Lindsay has the other key so we'll be able to balance even better so none of us burns out. We're all doing other things (school or other work) and now Tony is seeing what it is like for us to be juggling dual "jobs". Problem is, I don't think it's made him more empathetic. Just grouchy.
So we'll see. I gotta get our house organized so that I can set up some kind of schedule for myself which will include keeping in touch with you all. You have no idea how much I miss ya. Please be patient with me. I think about each of you a lot and so wanna talk. I just gotta get all of my ducks in a row. It's been great having Mike cause he is a big help. It's good to have someone to snuggle with. And he deals with my snarkiness when I'm grumpy. Part of the problem this year is a lack of downtime for my brain. Gonna take that so I can be my usual tigger self and have more energy for all the fun things I haven't been able to do lately.
Anyway, I gotta run. So need to clean today. Mike is as good as me at ignoring stuff. I think that's a blessing and a curse. lol I'll try and be better and post at least once a week. Love and hugs to you all.
Anyway, it's probably best to just give a brief synopsis of the past two months. Mike and I moved into a four bedroom house in the middle of July. Packing and stuff pretty much took up the end of June until end of July. Took us two weekends to move everything. We were smart and did an overlap of the two places (Mike's idea) so that we could space out the moving. I have so much stuff! Omg, it's insane. Since then we have settled into a comfortable routine but have been so busy that we haven't been able to really unpack. It feels like we're living in our storage area. lol But we have to get cracking because Valerie is coming to visit with her fiance (yes, you heard me right -- she's engaged!) so we need to have a place for them to sleep. It's good though cause I really need to get a move on. Part of the reason we didn't unpack much is because I needed to wait for school to start up again so I can afford bookshelves. lol Mike's convinced I have way more books than I think I do (which is over 4000).
I was going to try and catch up two weeks ago but ended up with a nasty sinus infection. It's been making the rounds. I didn't take off from work so it ended up hanging on far longer than it should have. I worked my ass off last week (almost 50 hours at the store plus teaching hours). So, I gave myself two days off in a row this week. Was gonna catch up yesterday but the rain made me feel blech so I slept. Been feeling insomniatic this week. Really need a break. So, Mike and I are planning on going away to the mountains during my fall break.
I really like working at the bookstore but it is sucking up way more of my energy than it should. The last two weeks have been the worst because we were trying to get our calendar kiosks (yes, this year we have two, oh joy) up and there was major fubaredness happening (none of it our fault -- thank the corporate crackheads for this one). It didn't help that I was sick and Tony (manager) was sick at the same time. He's in rehearsals for a musical and that's sapping him. We've all been covering and taking care of more things so that he can focus on it cause it's something he loves to do. Thought it would make him happy but I dunno. He was majorly stressed the last two weeks because of everything and he took it out on us big time. It wasn't just one of his brief minute spazzes but a stretched out one. And none of us needs this kind of stress. The good thing is that the rest of us are backing each other up in the schedule, etc. Jon and I rotate weekends and now Lindsay has the other key so we'll be able to balance even better so none of us burns out. We're all doing other things (school or other work) and now Tony is seeing what it is like for us to be juggling dual "jobs". Problem is, I don't think it's made him more empathetic. Just grouchy.
So we'll see. I gotta get our house organized so that I can set up some kind of schedule for myself which will include keeping in touch with you all. You have no idea how much I miss ya. Please be patient with me. I think about each of you a lot and so wanna talk. I just gotta get all of my ducks in a row. It's been great having Mike cause he is a big help. It's good to have someone to snuggle with. And he deals with my snarkiness when I'm grumpy. Part of the problem this year is a lack of downtime for my brain. Gonna take that so I can be my usual tigger self and have more energy for all the fun things I haven't been able to do lately.
Anyway, I gotta run. So need to clean today. Mike is as good as me at ignoring stuff. I think that's a blessing and a curse. lol I'll try and be better and post at least once a week. Love and hugs to you all.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Poofedness
Whoa. . .it's been almost a month and a half?!?! Wow. So sorry, didn't realize that had happened. Anyway, it's mostly due to moving in July. Things have been a bit crazy even by my standards. And, unfortunately, I am too tired at the moment to write more than a blurb but I will start the catch up tomorrow. I'll try and squish it all down into as brief a thing as possible. Then I can get to all the musing and rants again. :o)
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Condolences
Ok, this was meant to be my post for yesterday but with the family stuff. . .it got shuffled to today.
I just wanted to send out my sympathies to my boss and his family because his father-in-law died at 2:33am Saturday morning. He'd been sick for a while and had stopped the treatments that weren't really helping do more than prolong an increasingly painful existence. Tony thought that he would linger for quite a while but, alas, it was obviously not meant to be. I feel really bad for Tony's wife, Lee, who is a very sweet woman and I like her a lot. I also feel bad for Lee's mother but as I don't know her, my sympathies mainly lie with Lee. I had discovered in the company handbook that they give bereavement leave and pay so Tony will have three days off this week to spend with Lee. So, Jon and I will have to cover his shifts. I ended up coming in today (it was supposed to be my only other work day off) so I now have overtime in for the week. Next week I won't have a single day off until Sunday because Tony will be off for both of my scheduled days. We really need someone in the fourth keyholder position but this is fine. He needs the time away. I just hope that the higher ups delay their visit to the store. We have a new muckitymuck who was planning to visit in two weeks but who may show up this week. And our DM's Friday meeting was postponed but I don't know for how long. I can handle it all but they do like the manager to be there too. Tony's time off for this incident better not be messed up like it was when he tried to take a much needed vacation cause we will all go grrr. lol
Anyway, this is the other reason I was grrr yesterday about the family cause I knew more about Tony's situation than I did my own family's. And if anyone tries to call me this week and I don't answer the phone, it will be because: a) I am at work or b) I am sleeping. So, you are all fairly warned.
I just wanted to send out my sympathies to my boss and his family because his father-in-law died at 2:33am Saturday morning. He'd been sick for a while and had stopped the treatments that weren't really helping do more than prolong an increasingly painful existence. Tony thought that he would linger for quite a while but, alas, it was obviously not meant to be. I feel really bad for Tony's wife, Lee, who is a very sweet woman and I like her a lot. I also feel bad for Lee's mother but as I don't know her, my sympathies mainly lie with Lee. I had discovered in the company handbook that they give bereavement leave and pay so Tony will have three days off this week to spend with Lee. So, Jon and I will have to cover his shifts. I ended up coming in today (it was supposed to be my only other work day off) so I now have overtime in for the week. Next week I won't have a single day off until Sunday because Tony will be off for both of my scheduled days. We really need someone in the fourth keyholder position but this is fine. He needs the time away. I just hope that the higher ups delay their visit to the store. We have a new muckitymuck who was planning to visit in two weeks but who may show up this week. And our DM's Friday meeting was postponed but I don't know for how long. I can handle it all but they do like the manager to be there too. Tony's time off for this incident better not be messed up like it was when he tried to take a much needed vacation cause we will all go grrr. lol
Anyway, this is the other reason I was grrr yesterday about the family cause I knew more about Tony's situation than I did my own family's. And if anyone tries to call me this week and I don't answer the phone, it will be because: a) I am at work or b) I am sleeping. So, you are all fairly warned.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Family. . .grrrr
Ok, so I mentioned yesterday that my aunt and my nephew are both in the hospital. Well, I tried to call my aunt the other night only to have a patient get confused and tell me that "Mary" went home. She hadn't heard of a Gladys. I decided to call home for info but no one called me back (surprise). So, tonight I decided to try the nurse's station and they told me she'd been moved. They transferred me up to that station (rehab) but no one answered the phone. I called the farm but no one answered (again, surprise). So, I called Jami's cell since she was supposed to hang out with them this weekend. John is somewhere but the rest were with Jami. Seems Daniel is also still in the hospital (which I knew from reading Cindy's blog update) and has had surgery (which was not on her blog). We got cut off before I could find out more details than that. Needless to say, I am just a wee bit miffed about the situation right now. I don't even know if Daniel is still in the same room or I'd call there. Sheesh
Ok, in the grand scheme of things I understand not being told immediately when things happened. That is completely understandable. But you would think that someone would have the decency to call and give me a quick update. After all, they apparently have time to go rumlaufen tonight. This is probably a much needed break but it only takes a minute to call or have one of the girls drop me a quick email. And yet, if I didn't call or anything, I'd be uncaring blah blah. If the situation was reversed and I didn't keep peeps updated, I don't even want to contemplate the flak I'd get. I just can't win in this family, I swear.
So, I called Jami's cell and left a message that I am just a wee bit angry over it and that she could call back and maybe I would answer and maybe I won't. Ok, that last part is a little childish but hey, at least it was honest at the moment. I ranted to Mike and he thought that I was taking it out on him but I was only really venting. But since I was making a "scary face" I stopped and am writing this.
There is a reason why this irks me a lot right now and that will be clear in tomorrow's post. I want it to have a unique posting. But I needed to vent this now.
Ok, in the grand scheme of things I understand not being told immediately when things happened. That is completely understandable. But you would think that someone would have the decency to call and give me a quick update. After all, they apparently have time to go rumlaufen tonight. This is probably a much needed break but it only takes a minute to call or have one of the girls drop me a quick email. And yet, if I didn't call or anything, I'd be uncaring blah blah. If the situation was reversed and I didn't keep peeps updated, I don't even want to contemplate the flak I'd get. I just can't win in this family, I swear.
So, I called Jami's cell and left a message that I am just a wee bit angry over it and that she could call back and maybe I would answer and maybe I won't. Ok, that last part is a little childish but hey, at least it was honest at the moment. I ranted to Mike and he thought that I was taking it out on him but I was only really venting. But since I was making a "scary face" I stopped and am writing this.
There is a reason why this irks me a lot right now and that will be clear in tomorrow's post. I want it to have a unique posting. But I needed to vent this now.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Bumpy Balls
Ok, in case your all wondering why there is a two week delay THIS time (just give in to the inevitable that the blog is gonna be a back burner kind of thing for now but please keep checking), it's all Mike's fault. lol Well, mostly his fault. Work would be the other part of it.
So, here's how it went. . .
The weekend after the last entry I had the following Saturday (June 3rd) and Monday off so I took Sunday off to have a little, much needed, mini break. Thought Mike and I would spend a pleasant weekend together just being lovey dovey. Friday night was ok but we were both tired and Mike had a headache. I had tickets for a play in Charleston on Saturday and we'd been planning on spending the day there. Mike wasn't feeling much better in the morning so we just chilled at home until the afternoon. We got down to Charleston just in time to snag dinner (rushed through which probably didn't help) and get to the theatre. The play was Tristan and Isolde and it was done by a British (specifically Cornish) company sponsored by my favorite London theatre, the National. I had figured that if I couldn't go to England this year, I was at least going to go see a British play. They did an interesting twist on the tale by making it semi-serious with Monty Pythonesque skits interspersed. Mike thoroughly enjoyed himself (it was only his second theatre jaunt) and said that I had "good ideas some times." lol I can't wait until we can go to London together and see some more.
I was actually hungry after the play so we stopped for some food. Mike felt a little ill so he didn't eat. We got home about 2a and just crashed. We woke up all right but were both exhausted so we didn't do much all day Sunday. Mike's headache was back and he was feeling worse. So, we just read and stuff. Mike had a fever by evening but was feeling better the next day even though I suggested he stay home so as not to get worse. I spent Monday trying to catch up on laundry and errands. I was feeling ok but not peachy and tired. Mike came home looking like hell and with the fever back. He spent a horrible night which I wasn't really aware of because I slept in the living room since I was roasting in the bedroom. When I got up at 7a for work, Mike was very hot. Mike would only stay home if he was running a fever, which he was (101.9). I told him to go to the doctor but it didn't happen because by the time I could have gotten off of work early to take him, the fever had broken. Also, he had no idea who he could go to cause he never goes to a doctor and he didn't even know what medical plan he has through work. Sheesh So, he spent the day sleeping. After work I went to Target and got him some Coricidin since he wasn't going to get good stuff. I also picked up some OJ so I could get him drinking more. He was feverish on and off all day. I slept on the couch again since he was thrashing around and because the AC was only on in the living room.
On Wed (8th) he was "feeling better" so he went back to work. You can guess that I was less than thrilled with this idea but he's a grown man. And truth be told, I would do the same. I think he wore himself out too much that day. And I spent the entire work day feeling horrible because of cramps in my stomach. Wasn't sure what that was about. On Thursday, I got up with him when he went to work (I had the day off) and stayed up to get stuff done. I got a call at 8:30a that my aunt was back in the hospital because of a mini stroke. Spent the rest of the morning on the phone with her and then Sissy (my aunt). Mike called me at 11a to say that he was coming home because he had leaned back in his work chair and almost fell off because the room was spinning. This time he didn't argue with me when I said that I was taking him to the doctor. He actually told me later that I should remind him that he should listen to me more often. lol Well, he is an adult and I didn't want to "mother" him and treat him like a child. He has Blue Cross/Blue Shield so there was a huge choice of doctors. We went to a clinic he'd been to eons ago and found out that he had strep (my suggestion a few days before but it was dismissed since he wasn't feeling anything like when he'd had it years ago). A mild case but that explains it. We then went to my nurse practitioner to make sure I didn't have it and to get an opinion about my stomach pains. No strep but I had a stomach virus. Great. What a pair, huh?
Mike went back to work on Friday. He went and fixed a machine for a client in Charlotte and then went to the office. When they found out what he had, they sent him straight home. Smart dudes. So he rested some more. I ended up only doing a half day because I was feeling wretched from my stomach since I hadn't gotten any rest on Thursday. We pretty much spent the weekend chilling (though Mike pushed it by going to the flea market Saturday morning and getting too much sun) when I wasn't at work (I worked both days -- in fact, yesterday was my first day off since last Thursday). On Monday he felt better and was slowly improving through Wednesday. . .when he stopped taking his antibiotic because he felt much better. Yeah, I think you can see where this is going. Oh, and I found out that Daniel (my one nephew) was in the hospital because he'd run into a rose bush and ripped up his knee which is now infected. My sis-in-law tried to treat it at home for a week before taking him up to our one local hospital who then shipped him to Hershey Medical since they were clueless. Sheesh.
Anyway, Tuesday was ok. A little busy for me but fine. Yesterday I informed Mike that pouncing would ensue when he got home whether he wanted to or not. He had no choice. lol Actually, when he got home, I was on a conference call (yeah, I know, it was supposed to be my day off but that's when it was scheduled). He fell right to sleep but woke up a few hours later and felt better. We ate a little and then he buzzed his hair off his head and showered. We played for a little while, ate ice cream, and talked. Then I noticed that he was breaking out on his neck and chest. He figured it was some kind of allergic reaction to his hair (that he had something in it that caused the breakout). Or that something was on the razor since it had been on the floor. Seemed logical but it didn't look good. I had some Benedryl so he took that and then I rubbed him down with some witch hazel.
This morning I thought he was better but in the full light of the bathroom I realized that he was worse. The splotches had become patches. So we took a shower so I could help him wash off anything that might be irritating his skin. He agreed to go back to the doctor. There wasn't anything pressing at work but I suggested he go there first so that they could see for themselves that he is obviously in need of treatment and to see if he could work around a doctor appointment. I told him that he should tell the guys that he's allergic to having sex with me. lol But they beat me to it by asking him if this was because of too much "fancy fucking." lmao He went to the doctor and found out that yes, he could have an allergic rash but it could also be related to the strep. Jonathan had suggested that he might have scarlet fever cause that can be a side effect. I didn't know that and Mike's doctor actually said something about it being a possibility. Mike kept insisting that it was a reaction but when I looked it up on webmd, the description pretty much describes what Mike has gone through during the last two weeks. His throat had gotten worse during the first part of the week so when it went away on Wednesday, he figured he was better. Nope, that was the calm right before the splotchy attack.
So, now I have a boyfriend who looks like red skinned lizard. It was only on his torso, neck, and arms this morning but is now further. . .south. I saw his legs and was like oh my, it's spreading. I lightly touched the band of his pjs and he pulled them down with a comment about how it has not spread to "Ralph" (don't ask how we came up with that nickname). I was like, "Noooo. . .it can't get to Ralph! Poor Ralph." And that's when I saw it. . .them. . .it has spread to the under boys. And so we have the title of today's blog cause Mike has a bad case of bumpy balls. It's just so sad. :o)
So, here's how it went. . .
The weekend after the last entry I had the following Saturday (June 3rd) and Monday off so I took Sunday off to have a little, much needed, mini break. Thought Mike and I would spend a pleasant weekend together just being lovey dovey. Friday night was ok but we were both tired and Mike had a headache. I had tickets for a play in Charleston on Saturday and we'd been planning on spending the day there. Mike wasn't feeling much better in the morning so we just chilled at home until the afternoon. We got down to Charleston just in time to snag dinner (rushed through which probably didn't help) and get to the theatre. The play was Tristan and Isolde and it was done by a British (specifically Cornish) company sponsored by my favorite London theatre, the National. I had figured that if I couldn't go to England this year, I was at least going to go see a British play. They did an interesting twist on the tale by making it semi-serious with Monty Pythonesque skits interspersed. Mike thoroughly enjoyed himself (it was only his second theatre jaunt) and said that I had "good ideas some times." lol I can't wait until we can go to London together and see some more.
I was actually hungry after the play so we stopped for some food. Mike felt a little ill so he didn't eat. We got home about 2a and just crashed. We woke up all right but were both exhausted so we didn't do much all day Sunday. Mike's headache was back and he was feeling worse. So, we just read and stuff. Mike had a fever by evening but was feeling better the next day even though I suggested he stay home so as not to get worse. I spent Monday trying to catch up on laundry and errands. I was feeling ok but not peachy and tired. Mike came home looking like hell and with the fever back. He spent a horrible night which I wasn't really aware of because I slept in the living room since I was roasting in the bedroom. When I got up at 7a for work, Mike was very hot. Mike would only stay home if he was running a fever, which he was (101.9). I told him to go to the doctor but it didn't happen because by the time I could have gotten off of work early to take him, the fever had broken. Also, he had no idea who he could go to cause he never goes to a doctor and he didn't even know what medical plan he has through work. Sheesh So, he spent the day sleeping. After work I went to Target and got him some Coricidin since he wasn't going to get good stuff. I also picked up some OJ so I could get him drinking more. He was feverish on and off all day. I slept on the couch again since he was thrashing around and because the AC was only on in the living room.
On Wed (8th) he was "feeling better" so he went back to work. You can guess that I was less than thrilled with this idea but he's a grown man. And truth be told, I would do the same. I think he wore himself out too much that day. And I spent the entire work day feeling horrible because of cramps in my stomach. Wasn't sure what that was about. On Thursday, I got up with him when he went to work (I had the day off) and stayed up to get stuff done. I got a call at 8:30a that my aunt was back in the hospital because of a mini stroke. Spent the rest of the morning on the phone with her and then Sissy (my aunt). Mike called me at 11a to say that he was coming home because he had leaned back in his work chair and almost fell off because the room was spinning. This time he didn't argue with me when I said that I was taking him to the doctor. He actually told me later that I should remind him that he should listen to me more often. lol Well, he is an adult and I didn't want to "mother" him and treat him like a child. He has Blue Cross/Blue Shield so there was a huge choice of doctors. We went to a clinic he'd been to eons ago and found out that he had strep (my suggestion a few days before but it was dismissed since he wasn't feeling anything like when he'd had it years ago). A mild case but that explains it. We then went to my nurse practitioner to make sure I didn't have it and to get an opinion about my stomach pains. No strep but I had a stomach virus. Great. What a pair, huh?
Mike went back to work on Friday. He went and fixed a machine for a client in Charlotte and then went to the office. When they found out what he had, they sent him straight home. Smart dudes. So he rested some more. I ended up only doing a half day because I was feeling wretched from my stomach since I hadn't gotten any rest on Thursday. We pretty much spent the weekend chilling (though Mike pushed it by going to the flea market Saturday morning and getting too much sun) when I wasn't at work (I worked both days -- in fact, yesterday was my first day off since last Thursday). On Monday he felt better and was slowly improving through Wednesday. . .when he stopped taking his antibiotic because he felt much better. Yeah, I think you can see where this is going. Oh, and I found out that Daniel (my one nephew) was in the hospital because he'd run into a rose bush and ripped up his knee which is now infected. My sis-in-law tried to treat it at home for a week before taking him up to our one local hospital who then shipped him to Hershey Medical since they were clueless. Sheesh.
Anyway, Tuesday was ok. A little busy for me but fine. Yesterday I informed Mike that pouncing would ensue when he got home whether he wanted to or not. He had no choice. lol Actually, when he got home, I was on a conference call (yeah, I know, it was supposed to be my day off but that's when it was scheduled). He fell right to sleep but woke up a few hours later and felt better. We ate a little and then he buzzed his hair off his head and showered. We played for a little while, ate ice cream, and talked. Then I noticed that he was breaking out on his neck and chest. He figured it was some kind of allergic reaction to his hair (that he had something in it that caused the breakout). Or that something was on the razor since it had been on the floor. Seemed logical but it didn't look good. I had some Benedryl so he took that and then I rubbed him down with some witch hazel.
This morning I thought he was better but in the full light of the bathroom I realized that he was worse. The splotches had become patches. So we took a shower so I could help him wash off anything that might be irritating his skin. He agreed to go back to the doctor. There wasn't anything pressing at work but I suggested he go there first so that they could see for themselves that he is obviously in need of treatment and to see if he could work around a doctor appointment. I told him that he should tell the guys that he's allergic to having sex with me. lol But they beat me to it by asking him if this was because of too much "fancy fucking." lmao He went to the doctor and found out that yes, he could have an allergic rash but it could also be related to the strep. Jonathan had suggested that he might have scarlet fever cause that can be a side effect. I didn't know that and Mike's doctor actually said something about it being a possibility. Mike kept insisting that it was a reaction but when I looked it up on webmd, the description pretty much describes what Mike has gone through during the last two weeks. His throat had gotten worse during the first part of the week so when it went away on Wednesday, he figured he was better. Nope, that was the calm right before the splotchy attack.
So, now I have a boyfriend who looks like red skinned lizard. It was only on his torso, neck, and arms this morning but is now further. . .south. I saw his legs and was like oh my, it's spreading. I lightly touched the band of his pjs and he pulled them down with a comment about how it has not spread to "Ralph" (don't ask how we came up with that nickname). I was like, "Noooo. . .it can't get to Ralph! Poor Ralph." And that's when I saw it. . .them. . .it has spread to the under boys. And so we have the title of today's blog cause Mike has a bad case of bumpy balls. It's just so sad. :o)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Warning to All You Creepy Dudes
Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't grump at me for not writing for two months. They have been hellishly busy and the past one was one bad/frustrating/sad thing after another which I will relay in another entry.
But first, I want to rant about something. It ties in with one reason that I have been MIA. See, shortly after the last posting, I got offered the assistant manager position at the bookstore because Jessica was transferred to another where they needed an experienced hand (I'd been asked if I would consider going there but had laughed -- so not going to that mall). Well, considering how my relationship with Mike is going, the fact that I'm a little burned out with teaching English, and also doing a lot of work at the store anyway, I decided to interview for it. My only competition was Kerrie, a young co-worker who has only been at the store since November. She mostly worked at the calendar kiosk (at which she did an awesome job) until February. Needless to say, she didn't have nearly as much experience as me with the store. She is very quick to learn and enthusiastic but there were some reasons for hesitation (I think one was the fact that the employees -- and I include myself in this -- had trouble with taking "orders" from her). Kerrie had been looking for another job somewhere because she wanted a managerial type position (read: more money). But I got the position (as I'm sure you figured out). Kerrie was greatly disappointed because she'd thought that she was a shoe-in for it until she found out that I was interviewing. Tony did give her full-time status (read: guaranteed hours) but Kerrie kept looking for something else but didn't tell Tony that until she found a new job and suddenly gave her notice. Granted, she gave a month's notice but that left us in a jam because we were already down to a skeleton crew (having lost Natalie about two months before). My friend, Kelly, got bounced to keyholder but she has since resigned and is just a "normal" bookseller again. So, Jonathan is our new keyholder. Fortunately, school is out so he can work full time hours which he needs anyway. So, it's all good. Would Jon like more money? Yeah, but he likes working with all of us. We've all become a kind of family there. And that can be much more satisfying than $1.75 more an hour. But I digress.
Anyway, we had to hire someone new. One day, this young woman, Lindsay, comes into the store and we get to chatting about working there. She takes an application, Tony does a spur of the moment interview, and next thing I know, I'm doing a proper one the following week. Lindsay is great. She fits in quite well with the group. She has just the right sense of humor to be able to deal with us. Plus, she's a business major at USC and is a very quick study of things. Obviously she loves to read and the best part of that is that she can fill in our genre gaps (mostly kids and young adult). I've become a Renaissance scholar of sorts through listening to various customers talk about books but nothing beats having someone who's actually read in the section fairly recently.
So, she started two Fridays ago and is doing well. Now, here is where the title of this entry comes in. On Saturday, Lindsay was helping this older guy. I had been helping people here and there and caught the tail end of their conversation while he was at the register. There was something odd about him but I passed that off as me feeling alpha protective (there's a reason I'm the "big sister"). I even worried about her when she went to her car that night but dismissed it as me being overly paranoid. I wasn't. Dude was waiting in the parking lot for her and called out to her. THEN -- and this is the part that I can't believe -- he actually showed up at her church on Sunday and sat next to her in the pew!! I mean, my God, you apparently can't even have chitchat about which church you go to without creepy people stalking you there. When Lindsay came into the store yesterday to share some of the cookie cake I'd bought everyone (for the holiday and to celebrate doing well last month), she told us about this. Needless to say, Tony, Jon, and I all got our fur ruffled and our various totems (I know Tony is a bear, I'm a wolf, and Jon seems like a lion to me) came out and we formed a quick game plan. Lindsay should, if nothing else, feel protected!
Well, Creepy Dude showed up at the store tonight. Just heard from Jon cause he is closing with her. Dude left, though, when he saw Jon with a customer who is built like -- and actually is -- a bouncer. Security has been alerted and hopefully we can put the fear of God in this dude cause he will need some serious help if he tries anything. No one hurts anyone I know -- especially not someone whom I consider under my care (so to speak). I don't care if I'm her boss, I am not putting up with Creepy Dudes stalking her. grrr lol And Jon feels the same way. I just hope that when he gets frustrated with Lindsay, the Dude doesn't succeed with whatever he has in his head. It could be harmless but. . .I trust my instincts. However, since he hasn't done much beyond what I said above, I don't know what else we can possibly do. It's a little frustrating.
So, there is a sampling. I'll probably write some time next week once I have some room to breathe. Right now I'm gonna go and chill. Hugs.
But first, I want to rant about something. It ties in with one reason that I have been MIA. See, shortly after the last posting, I got offered the assistant manager position at the bookstore because Jessica was transferred to another where they needed an experienced hand (I'd been asked if I would consider going there but had laughed -- so not going to that mall). Well, considering how my relationship with Mike is going, the fact that I'm a little burned out with teaching English, and also doing a lot of work at the store anyway, I decided to interview for it. My only competition was Kerrie, a young co-worker who has only been at the store since November. She mostly worked at the calendar kiosk (at which she did an awesome job) until February. Needless to say, she didn't have nearly as much experience as me with the store. She is very quick to learn and enthusiastic but there were some reasons for hesitation (I think one was the fact that the employees -- and I include myself in this -- had trouble with taking "orders" from her). Kerrie had been looking for another job somewhere because she wanted a managerial type position (read: more money). But I got the position (as I'm sure you figured out). Kerrie was greatly disappointed because she'd thought that she was a shoe-in for it until she found out that I was interviewing. Tony did give her full-time status (read: guaranteed hours) but Kerrie kept looking for something else but didn't tell Tony that until she found a new job and suddenly gave her notice. Granted, she gave a month's notice but that left us in a jam because we were already down to a skeleton crew (having lost Natalie about two months before). My friend, Kelly, got bounced to keyholder but she has since resigned and is just a "normal" bookseller again. So, Jonathan is our new keyholder. Fortunately, school is out so he can work full time hours which he needs anyway. So, it's all good. Would Jon like more money? Yeah, but he likes working with all of us. We've all become a kind of family there. And that can be much more satisfying than $1.75 more an hour. But I digress.
Anyway, we had to hire someone new. One day, this young woman, Lindsay, comes into the store and we get to chatting about working there. She takes an application, Tony does a spur of the moment interview, and next thing I know, I'm doing a proper one the following week. Lindsay is great. She fits in quite well with the group. She has just the right sense of humor to be able to deal with us. Plus, she's a business major at USC and is a very quick study of things. Obviously she loves to read and the best part of that is that she can fill in our genre gaps (mostly kids and young adult). I've become a Renaissance scholar of sorts through listening to various customers talk about books but nothing beats having someone who's actually read in the section fairly recently.
So, she started two Fridays ago and is doing well. Now, here is where the title of this entry comes in. On Saturday, Lindsay was helping this older guy. I had been helping people here and there and caught the tail end of their conversation while he was at the register. There was something odd about him but I passed that off as me feeling alpha protective (there's a reason I'm the "big sister"). I even worried about her when she went to her car that night but dismissed it as me being overly paranoid. I wasn't. Dude was waiting in the parking lot for her and called out to her. THEN -- and this is the part that I can't believe -- he actually showed up at her church on Sunday and sat next to her in the pew!! I mean, my God, you apparently can't even have chitchat about which church you go to without creepy people stalking you there. When Lindsay came into the store yesterday to share some of the cookie cake I'd bought everyone (for the holiday and to celebrate doing well last month), she told us about this. Needless to say, Tony, Jon, and I all got our fur ruffled and our various totems (I know Tony is a bear, I'm a wolf, and Jon seems like a lion to me) came out and we formed a quick game plan. Lindsay should, if nothing else, feel protected!
Well, Creepy Dude showed up at the store tonight. Just heard from Jon cause he is closing with her. Dude left, though, when he saw Jon with a customer who is built like -- and actually is -- a bouncer. Security has been alerted and hopefully we can put the fear of God in this dude cause he will need some serious help if he tries anything. No one hurts anyone I know -- especially not someone whom I consider under my care (so to speak). I don't care if I'm her boss, I am not putting up with Creepy Dudes stalking her. grrr lol And Jon feels the same way. I just hope that when he gets frustrated with Lindsay, the Dude doesn't succeed with whatever he has in his head. It could be harmless but. . .I trust my instincts. However, since he hasn't done much beyond what I said above, I don't know what else we can possibly do. It's a little frustrating.
So, there is a sampling. I'll probably write some time next week once I have some room to breathe. Right now I'm gonna go and chill. Hugs.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Spring Break
Ok, before I begin this entry I should address the last one, however briefly. The episode didn't last as long as I feared and all has been talked through and worked out. Mike was wonderful about the whole thing. I am constantly amazed at his patience with me. Then again, there are some things that I really have no control over but he never makes me feel like I'm overreacting. It's such a blessed relief and change.
Anyway, my spring break was the 4th through the 12th. Valerie planned to come down for the first weekend and the northern Kyle was to come for the week itself. Val managed her trip but Kyle had to back out for various reasons (but with a promise to come down in July). Val arrived later than she expected on Friday evening because of a late start and some horrendous traffic. It was all ok. Good to see her again and the three of us had a good evening. Jonathan met up with us and at the end of the evening, we decided to go to one of the adult shops for a few laughs. It was too funny.
I'd given my students off for the two Saturdays of the break because, let's get real, who is going to come to class? So, we all slept in (more or less) and then went out for lunch. I picked up some books for Mike and a book that Val recommended for us. Val wanted to thank Tony for giving me the day off (even though I had said that I could work days). She even did a little happy dance for Tony. lol The lech said that it could only have been better if she'd had a pole. Or something to that effect. A pole was definitely mentioned. I thought it was funny but Jessica wasn't amused.
Afterwards we went bowling. Our scores weren't as good as last time and my game was definitely off so Mike beat me. The other two were just trying to beat us as a combo. lol However, Val did improve a lot as the day went along. Afterwards we went to the apartment to get cleaned up because we had tickets to a ceili. It was ok. Mike bought me a claddagh ring from one of the vendors. I've always wanted one and was touched that he didn't mind getting me a "sweethearts" ring. (smile) The dancing was interesting but we soon decided to bug out for some dinner. Val had wanted to go to Nonnah's so we ate there. Poor Jon and Val. . .they had to deal with Mike and I getting increasingly sappy. See, we've gotten into a habit of sharing each other's food. But instead of helping ourselves, we feed each other. Saccharine, I know. Plus Mike kept getting more and more frisky as the day progressed, and since I wasn't about to be adult and say no, Val decided that she was going to stay over at Jonathan's. lol She wasn't really upset with us. She'd just had too much "happy coupling" moments to last her a long time. If I'd thought that I was truly upsetting her, I would have made Mike stop and I would have behaved myself better. But she wasn't so I gave into the jack rabbit bunny mode. hee hee
Sunday was pretty laid back. Jonathan had to work so he dropped Val off on his way. We pretty much all chilled. We wandered out to do something but I can't remember what we did. I do know that the three of us just wanted to crash when we got home. Jonathan called us and tried to get us to go with him and his friend, Lily, to see a movie but none of us was in a mood. Mike wouldn't really say yeah or nay so I decided that Val and I should "pounce" (read tickle) on him. (flinch) I completely forgot to warn her about his side. I can't remember if I mentioned this before but, a few years ago Mike was in a car accident that broke his back and caused him some other major damage. He was a paraplegic for a while. He still has pain, etc. from it and he is very sensitive on his left side. I went around to his right and Val had the left. I thought that she would just try and tickle Mike but she started poking him with her fingers. That would hurt even me but it sent Mike into a little ball yelling for her to stop. Poor Val. When she realized what she'd done (hurt Mike), she turned white as a ghost and almost fainted. I didn't really notice all of that because I was more focused on Mike. Val ended up hiding in the bathroom for a while as I tried to help Mike. Not that there was anything that I could do. God bless him, when he realized that what had happened had upset Val, he was more upset over that than he was with either of us for causing him pain. He'd never made a girl cry before and he was so upset over that. Needless to say, the whole incident subdued the mood we were all in and made it easy to be firm on not going back out. It was ok because we'd planned to stay in and watch the Oscars. We did that and played Trivial Pursuit at the same time. Can you believe a rap song won for Best Song?
Monday was girls' day. Val and I went to where her aunt works and I got a makeover and some makeup. I also found a new wallet that is the same pattern that Val has. It's a Vera Bradley pattern and the only one I really liked. I needed a new wallet and getting something girlie was good. We went home and I baked a pretty decent chicken dish that turned out well. Jonathan came over and we played another boardgame (name escapes me now). He teamed up with Val and they beat us for both games. lol Of course, the dice were somehow rigged in Jon's favor because he got them around the board really quickly. Sadly, Val had to leave the next morning.
When Kyle said that he couldn't come down, I thought that meant that I would be able to use the days I'd requested off to get some of my work done. Nope. See, the previous Thursday (March 2nd), Mike received confirmation that he had until the end of March to be out of the house that he was renting. Well, I told him that he still had variations of 2 options: 1) rent a new place or 2) move in with me. The latter would require that he put all/most of his stuff in storage until my lease comes up and we could move into a bigger place. Well, unlike the last time this suggestion was made, he decided that he liked this idea. After all, wasn't that the point of the "experiment" mentioned a few entries ago? And since we'd been getting along just fine, Mike figured that this was God's way of kicking him in the ass about the relationship. So Mike decided to move in. It took next to no time for him to decide that.
Well, I thought that he would slowly move stuff over the month. He moved his books into my place over the weekend. After Val left, I decided that I would go and secure him a space where I have my storage. That afternoon he got off work early so he met me there and signed an agreement. Then we went to his place (I finally got to see it) and began moving stuff. We then repeated things (he got off really early every day during the rest of the week) until I had to go back to work at the store on Friday. By then we had almost all but a few little things moved. It was such a whirlwind. So, the next thing I knew. . .Mike was officially moved in! It still kind of blows my mind. But it just feels right. It's all very comfortable. Feels like forever but the time has actually been short. Amazing.
And so, that is how I spent my spring break. Busy busy. It wasn't a "break" really at all except for the few short days that Val was here. Wish she could have stayed longer but maybe next time. Anyway, I will update again soon so I hope this one holds you for a little while.
Anyway, my spring break was the 4th through the 12th. Valerie planned to come down for the first weekend and the northern Kyle was to come for the week itself. Val managed her trip but Kyle had to back out for various reasons (but with a promise to come down in July). Val arrived later than she expected on Friday evening because of a late start and some horrendous traffic. It was all ok. Good to see her again and the three of us had a good evening. Jonathan met up with us and at the end of the evening, we decided to go to one of the adult shops for a few laughs. It was too funny.
I'd given my students off for the two Saturdays of the break because, let's get real, who is going to come to class? So, we all slept in (more or less) and then went out for lunch. I picked up some books for Mike and a book that Val recommended for us. Val wanted to thank Tony for giving me the day off (even though I had said that I could work days). She even did a little happy dance for Tony. lol The lech said that it could only have been better if she'd had a pole. Or something to that effect. A pole was definitely mentioned. I thought it was funny but Jessica wasn't amused.
Afterwards we went bowling. Our scores weren't as good as last time and my game was definitely off so Mike beat me. The other two were just trying to beat us as a combo. lol However, Val did improve a lot as the day went along. Afterwards we went to the apartment to get cleaned up because we had tickets to a ceili. It was ok. Mike bought me a claddagh ring from one of the vendors. I've always wanted one and was touched that he didn't mind getting me a "sweethearts" ring. (smile) The dancing was interesting but we soon decided to bug out for some dinner. Val had wanted to go to Nonnah's so we ate there. Poor Jon and Val. . .they had to deal with Mike and I getting increasingly sappy. See, we've gotten into a habit of sharing each other's food. But instead of helping ourselves, we feed each other. Saccharine, I know. Plus Mike kept getting more and more frisky as the day progressed, and since I wasn't about to be adult and say no, Val decided that she was going to stay over at Jonathan's. lol She wasn't really upset with us. She'd just had too much "happy coupling" moments to last her a long time. If I'd thought that I was truly upsetting her, I would have made Mike stop and I would have behaved myself better. But she wasn't so I gave into the jack rabbit bunny mode. hee hee
Sunday was pretty laid back. Jonathan had to work so he dropped Val off on his way. We pretty much all chilled. We wandered out to do something but I can't remember what we did. I do know that the three of us just wanted to crash when we got home. Jonathan called us and tried to get us to go with him and his friend, Lily, to see a movie but none of us was in a mood. Mike wouldn't really say yeah or nay so I decided that Val and I should "pounce" (read tickle) on him. (flinch) I completely forgot to warn her about his side. I can't remember if I mentioned this before but, a few years ago Mike was in a car accident that broke his back and caused him some other major damage. He was a paraplegic for a while. He still has pain, etc. from it and he is very sensitive on his left side. I went around to his right and Val had the left. I thought that she would just try and tickle Mike but she started poking him with her fingers. That would hurt even me but it sent Mike into a little ball yelling for her to stop. Poor Val. When she realized what she'd done (hurt Mike), she turned white as a ghost and almost fainted. I didn't really notice all of that because I was more focused on Mike. Val ended up hiding in the bathroom for a while as I tried to help Mike. Not that there was anything that I could do. God bless him, when he realized that what had happened had upset Val, he was more upset over that than he was with either of us for causing him pain. He'd never made a girl cry before and he was so upset over that. Needless to say, the whole incident subdued the mood we were all in and made it easy to be firm on not going back out. It was ok because we'd planned to stay in and watch the Oscars. We did that and played Trivial Pursuit at the same time. Can you believe a rap song won for Best Song?
Monday was girls' day. Val and I went to where her aunt works and I got a makeover and some makeup. I also found a new wallet that is the same pattern that Val has. It's a Vera Bradley pattern and the only one I really liked. I needed a new wallet and getting something girlie was good. We went home and I baked a pretty decent chicken dish that turned out well. Jonathan came over and we played another boardgame (name escapes me now). He teamed up with Val and they beat us for both games. lol Of course, the dice were somehow rigged in Jon's favor because he got them around the board really quickly. Sadly, Val had to leave the next morning.
When Kyle said that he couldn't come down, I thought that meant that I would be able to use the days I'd requested off to get some of my work done. Nope. See, the previous Thursday (March 2nd), Mike received confirmation that he had until the end of March to be out of the house that he was renting. Well, I told him that he still had variations of 2 options: 1) rent a new place or 2) move in with me. The latter would require that he put all/most of his stuff in storage until my lease comes up and we could move into a bigger place. Well, unlike the last time this suggestion was made, he decided that he liked this idea. After all, wasn't that the point of the "experiment" mentioned a few entries ago? And since we'd been getting along just fine, Mike figured that this was God's way of kicking him in the ass about the relationship. So Mike decided to move in. It took next to no time for him to decide that.
Well, I thought that he would slowly move stuff over the month. He moved his books into my place over the weekend. After Val left, I decided that I would go and secure him a space where I have my storage. That afternoon he got off work early so he met me there and signed an agreement. Then we went to his place (I finally got to see it) and began moving stuff. We then repeated things (he got off really early every day during the rest of the week) until I had to go back to work at the store on Friday. By then we had almost all but a few little things moved. It was such a whirlwind. So, the next thing I knew. . .Mike was officially moved in! It still kind of blows my mind. But it just feels right. It's all very comfortable. Feels like forever but the time has actually been short. Amazing.
And so, that is how I spent my spring break. Busy busy. It wasn't a "break" really at all except for the few short days that Val was here. Wish she could have stayed longer but maybe next time. Anyway, I will update again soon so I hope this one holds you for a little while.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
PTSD
This topic is so relevant right now. In case you're wondering what the initials stand for: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I learned about it a few years back and even used the theory in an English paper (that I really need to polish so I can take it to a conference and maybe get published). The descriptions are too long to put on here but out of all of the links that I have so far, the following will serve you well in learning more: Mayo Clinic and PTSD
(sigh) It's been a relevant topic this week for me. I haven't had an episode for a very long time but. . .well, below is a poem that I wrote earlier today to try and describe some of what I have been feeling since yesterday morning:
TRAUMA
Violence rips across my mind.
My throat clenches as I
Gag upon hidden thoughts that
Lay buried somewhere deep in the past.
No image plays upon the screen
As my mind flinches from the
Flickers it senses just on the surface.
My body remembers what my
Consciousness can not -- will not.
It cringes in upon itself as
Desolation wracks it with sobs.
How does the past have such a hold
Upon my sense of now and the future?
And can we ever be truly healed
Of wounds left deeper than even
We ourselves are scarcely aware?
Always moving two steps forward
Only to be wrenched back to one.
The cycle seems neverending but
It must cease one day in some way.
Copyright (c) 2006 by Lynn Kramer. All rights reserved. No unauthorized use in whole or in part, without prior written permission of the author.
(sigh) It's been a relevant topic this week for me. I haven't had an episode for a very long time but. . .well, below is a poem that I wrote earlier today to try and describe some of what I have been feeling since yesterday morning:
TRAUMA
Violence rips across my mind.
My throat clenches as I
Gag upon hidden thoughts that
Lay buried somewhere deep in the past.
No image plays upon the screen
As my mind flinches from the
Flickers it senses just on the surface.
My body remembers what my
Consciousness can not -- will not.
It cringes in upon itself as
Desolation wracks it with sobs.
How does the past have such a hold
Upon my sense of now and the future?
And can we ever be truly healed
Of wounds left deeper than even
We ourselves are scarcely aware?
Always moving two steps forward
Only to be wrenched back to one.
The cycle seems neverending but
It must cease one day in some way.
Copyright (c) 2006 by Lynn Kramer. All rights reserved. No unauthorized use in whole or in part, without prior written permission of the author.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Mike is now 28. So, until September, he is only 6 years younger than me. lol From what I can tell, he's had a pretty decent day so far but for a traffic jam on the way to work this morning. But that didn't throw his mood out of whack. I'm waiting for him to come home so that he, Jonathan, and I can go out for Japanese food. We're going to Sakura's on Forest because a student of mine works there on Tuesday nights.
I am currently baking the world's most expensive cheesecakes. I had asked Mike what kind of cake he would like for his birthday and he settled upon vanilla/chocolate cheesecake with meringue icing and white chocolate shavings. Well, the recipe I found in this book at the store is actually for a neopolitan cheesecake that calls for three different liqueurs. I've cut out the strawberry angle and split that liqueur requirement down the middle for the vanilla and chocolate. So, now I actually have alcohol in my house. lol Go figure. They smell good right now. Not sure how the meringue is gonna work but I have a recipe for it. Never had that with a cheesecake but it was the request so he's got it.
I managed to get his gifts wrapped. His main gift is the complete Curious George collection (hard cover). He likes CG so I thought it a good theme. I did include two manga bookmarks for him as well. He has a few small secondary gifts: a Curious George Uno deck and a stuffed Curious George wrapped around a bottle of sake.
Whoops. . .he's home! Gotta run.
I am currently baking the world's most expensive cheesecakes. I had asked Mike what kind of cake he would like for his birthday and he settled upon vanilla/chocolate cheesecake with meringue icing and white chocolate shavings. Well, the recipe I found in this book at the store is actually for a neopolitan cheesecake that calls for three different liqueurs. I've cut out the strawberry angle and split that liqueur requirement down the middle for the vanilla and chocolate. So, now I actually have alcohol in my house. lol Go figure. They smell good right now. Not sure how the meringue is gonna work but I have a recipe for it. Never had that with a cheesecake but it was the request so he's got it.
I managed to get his gifts wrapped. His main gift is the complete Curious George collection (hard cover). He likes CG so I thought it a good theme. I did include two manga bookmarks for him as well. He has a few small secondary gifts: a Curious George Uno deck and a stuffed Curious George wrapped around a bottle of sake.
Whoops. . .he's home! Gotta run.
Monday, February 27, 2006
704 Events
Michelle has a friend who came up with a cool website idea. Look over in the right hand corner for "Charlotte Events" and that will take you to one of the links. The premise for the site is to have a place for people to go to find out what's happening in their area code. The subjects are quite varied. And it's very cool. Well, the launch party for the Charlotte branch was last Thursday (23rd) up at the Flying Saucer near where Michelle lives. She's the main local coordinator for this branch and I am one of her administrators in my copious amounts of free time. (Can you hear the sarcasm?) I'll be doing more when the summer comes around.
Anyway, Mike had to be in Raleigh so he planned to meet me there. Jonathan and Kelly (co-worker and friend from the bookstore) said that they would go with me. We had to wait until Jonathan was done at school before we could leave. We got up there about 6p. Mike was already there. There was a little bit of a pall on the event for us because one of Mike's former co-workers and friends died on Wed. It was very sad. Mike seemed to be doing pretty well (or as he put it, "A guy losing a guy isn't the same as a girl losing a girl.").
I was wrangled to cover the door for a while. That was interesting. Took a little while for me to get into the swing of telling incoming people about the site and the raffle that we were holding. But eventually it went well. My damn foot was acting up so I didn't spend much more than an hour doing that. When I got back to Mike and the others, he was sitting in a chair. I suggested he move and sit on my lap (hee hee) but he had me sit on his. Then he proceeded to bounce me on his knee. I don't think I've played horsey since I was a child. lmao Then I sat on both legs and he bounced me to the "Lone Ranger" tune. He is so silly. (big grin)
Mike had to leave early for some annual thingamajig that he does. I have no idea what it is. He's been having me guess but I have no idea. I think he just likes keeping the secret so I'll let him have it.
After Mike left, Kelly, Jonathan, and I went to McAlister's for dinner and had a fine time laughing and joking. It was hysterical. Let's just say that at one point there were images of a giant marshmallow penis and a gimp mask. (rolls eyes) I was laughing so hard that I almost cried. By the time we got outside, it was colder -- as Kelly's chest could attest too when she said, "It's a tad bit nipply out here." I thought Jonathan was gonna choke to death.
Overall, I think that it was a successful party. It was certainly fun. By the time I got home after 1a, Mike had already been in bed for an hour and a half. I was fairly successful at crawling in quietly beside him after my shower. It was a good night.
Anyway, Mike had to be in Raleigh so he planned to meet me there. Jonathan and Kelly (co-worker and friend from the bookstore) said that they would go with me. We had to wait until Jonathan was done at school before we could leave. We got up there about 6p. Mike was already there. There was a little bit of a pall on the event for us because one of Mike's former co-workers and friends died on Wed. It was very sad. Mike seemed to be doing pretty well (or as he put it, "A guy losing a guy isn't the same as a girl losing a girl.").
I was wrangled to cover the door for a while. That was interesting. Took a little while for me to get into the swing of telling incoming people about the site and the raffle that we were holding. But eventually it went well. My damn foot was acting up so I didn't spend much more than an hour doing that. When I got back to Mike and the others, he was sitting in a chair. I suggested he move and sit on my lap (hee hee) but he had me sit on his. Then he proceeded to bounce me on his knee. I don't think I've played horsey since I was a child. lmao Then I sat on both legs and he bounced me to the "Lone Ranger" tune. He is so silly. (big grin)
Mike had to leave early for some annual thingamajig that he does. I have no idea what it is. He's been having me guess but I have no idea. I think he just likes keeping the secret so I'll let him have it.
After Mike left, Kelly, Jonathan, and I went to McAlister's for dinner and had a fine time laughing and joking. It was hysterical. Let's just say that at one point there were images of a giant marshmallow penis and a gimp mask. (rolls eyes) I was laughing so hard that I almost cried. By the time we got outside, it was colder -- as Kelly's chest could attest too when she said, "It's a tad bit nipply out here." I thought Jonathan was gonna choke to death.
Overall, I think that it was a successful party. It was certainly fun. By the time I got home after 1a, Mike had already been in bed for an hour and a half. I was fairly successful at crawling in quietly beside him after my shower. It was a good night.
Experiment
Ok, so it's been a little strange lately. Wait, I guess it's been strange for a while. lol Anyway, since Mike came back from PA he hasn't left. He's kind of moved in with me. What is strange is that it just sort of happened and has gone so smoothly that I have to actually think about how weird it should feel. But it doesn't feel weird. It feels natural and normal. I mean, logically we shouldn't even be at this "phase" yet. But we haven't exactly been following a "normal" relationship pattern anyway so I guess this is just par for the course.
After the first week, on the 18th I guess, I asked Mike about it. I didn't want him to think that I had a problem with him being there (just the opposite in fact) but I felt that we should talk about it. We didn't get into too detailed a discussion. He just said that he wanted to experiment with us living together. Well, that was the first time I'd heard anything about it though I had assumed that was probably what was going on. After all, before he went to PA he was complaining about how much time I was taking away from stuff but then he comes back and we're together every day after work. His friends have confirmed that when Mike makes up his mind about something, he does it. Well, yup, he does.
Jonathan and Val have both advised that Mike and I shouldn't completely move in together for a while. That we should have separate residences just in case something happens. Sound advice even though it seems doubtful to the two of us that something major could happen. But you never know. Mike agrees with that assessment. (shrug) It's up to him if he wants to keep a separate place right now. I can't do anything about my living situation until the end of July any way. We've pretty much agreed that we are just going to let the future take care of itself and not worry about it right now. He doesn't mind moving so. . .we'll see later this year. We have discussed where we would like to live and what our requirements are. Definitely want a house that has at least three bedrooms so that we each have a study where we can have space. We need a copious amount of wall space to house all of our books but the rest is pretty much open. I want somewhere with wood floors (cat hair + carpet = yuck) and a dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, I could live without the second thing but I want one. We don't need a place that already has a washer and dryer because I own those already. But a dishwasher would be good. Something out away from the country would be nice but it all depends.
I met his friend, Renee, (she's very nice) yesterday and she suggested that he consider buying a home instead of renting. Yeah, that all makes sense and I've heard it for years. It really is a good idea but we are so not at that phase yet. Better for us to rent something first and then see what happens with my job options when I graduate. The future is very fuzzy for me right now and so I am not even gonna worry about a mortgage deal at the moment. One thing at a time.
So far the "experiment" is going well. We seem to have settled down into a very nice routine. Mike is sleeping pretty well (which was a major concern for both of us before) and that's a good thing. He's actually gotten more sleep than me which surprises him since he's an insomniac. I figure, if we can manage not to kill each other in my tiny apartment, we will so make it in a larger place. I really enjoy sharing my space with him. And, I think, for the most part, he enjoys being there with me. I do think my cats drive him bonkers at times but he is dealing with them. That's good cause they turn twelve this year and, well, it would suck to be forced to choose between them and him. Otherwise, I think things are fine. Mike has started to catch up on his reading and I am starting to catch up on my work. So, onwards and upwards.
After the first week, on the 18th I guess, I asked Mike about it. I didn't want him to think that I had a problem with him being there (just the opposite in fact) but I felt that we should talk about it. We didn't get into too detailed a discussion. He just said that he wanted to experiment with us living together. Well, that was the first time I'd heard anything about it though I had assumed that was probably what was going on. After all, before he went to PA he was complaining about how much time I was taking away from stuff but then he comes back and we're together every day after work. His friends have confirmed that when Mike makes up his mind about something, he does it. Well, yup, he does.
Jonathan and Val have both advised that Mike and I shouldn't completely move in together for a while. That we should have separate residences just in case something happens. Sound advice even though it seems doubtful to the two of us that something major could happen. But you never know. Mike agrees with that assessment. (shrug) It's up to him if he wants to keep a separate place right now. I can't do anything about my living situation until the end of July any way. We've pretty much agreed that we are just going to let the future take care of itself and not worry about it right now. He doesn't mind moving so. . .we'll see later this year. We have discussed where we would like to live and what our requirements are. Definitely want a house that has at least three bedrooms so that we each have a study where we can have space. We need a copious amount of wall space to house all of our books but the rest is pretty much open. I want somewhere with wood floors (cat hair + carpet = yuck) and a dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, I could live without the second thing but I want one. We don't need a place that already has a washer and dryer because I own those already. But a dishwasher would be good. Something out away from the country would be nice but it all depends.
I met his friend, Renee, (she's very nice) yesterday and she suggested that he consider buying a home instead of renting. Yeah, that all makes sense and I've heard it for years. It really is a good idea but we are so not at that phase yet. Better for us to rent something first and then see what happens with my job options when I graduate. The future is very fuzzy for me right now and so I am not even gonna worry about a mortgage deal at the moment. One thing at a time.
So far the "experiment" is going well. We seem to have settled down into a very nice routine. Mike is sleeping pretty well (which was a major concern for both of us before) and that's a good thing. He's actually gotten more sleep than me which surprises him since he's an insomniac. I figure, if we can manage not to kill each other in my tiny apartment, we will so make it in a larger place. I really enjoy sharing my space with him. And, I think, for the most part, he enjoys being there with me. I do think my cats drive him bonkers at times but he is dealing with them. That's good cause they turn twelve this year and, well, it would suck to be forced to choose between them and him. Otherwise, I think things are fine. Mike has started to catch up on his reading and I am starting to catch up on my work. So, onwards and upwards.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Valentine's Day
Needless to say, I was looking forward to Vday this year since I've never had a boyfriend for it (let alone at all). Yeah, I know it's all commercial. Do I look like I care? lol I knew that Mike hadn't gotten me anything because of th trip and not getting paid until Wed. I'd made sure to get his stuff a few weeks ago cause I knew I would be broke by Vday. But that's ok, I just wanted to spend it with him.
I had to work at the store until 4p but I managed to get out at 3p. A stop at the very crowded Kroger took care of the dinner elements. I ran home so that I could wrap up his presents and write a poem in a card for him. I'd written the poem a few weeks ago as an answer to his question of "What is love?" When I read it to Michelle she said, "You do realize that it's saying that you love him?" Yup. Mike had left a message that he would be home about 5:30/6p when I would be in class. I called him back to quickly tell him that I got the message and would see him between 6:30/7p. I was so planning on having a short class. lol
Mike actually walked in a little before 5p. I yelled at him not to enter the living room because I was still copying the poem into the card and had to wrap the presents. It was funny seeing him pause in midstep. lol We chatted and he tried to talk me out of going to class. Oh, yeah, like the reason for that wouldn't have been obvious. lol I actually managed to get home by 6:30p. Mike was asleep. He must have been more tired than he expected. I was going to let him sleep while I started making dinner. See, he had planned to make me some fettucine alfredo. In my stockpile of cut out recipes, I had a decent one for a chicken and broccoli version. So, I figured that I would just get it all together (chopped up) and wake him so he could cook it. He got up not long after that and I shooed him off for a shower while I chopped up stuff. After his shower we wandered around each other and so ended up cooking the dinner together. I have a fairly decent kitchen but I can't wait til we have a better one. It's fun to have someone to cook with and for (but I so want a dishwasher).
While he was finishing it all up, I took a quick shower so that I could put on the nightgown I'd bought last month for just that moment. It's a very lovely red spaghetti strap number that has a matching bra and panties. I have no idea why you'd wear a bra with a nightgown except to help enhance certain areas. lol The material is very light but not sheer. It's very elegant. And Mike liked it a lot. After that surprise for him, we pulled the dinner together and watched Shakespeare in Love. Mike had never seen it and it's one of my all-time favorites. He liked it.
Then it was present time. I'd come across one of last year's Vday beanie bears (the one with the two hearts around the neck that say "I Love You") and so had him sitting on the gifts. Halfway through reading the card, Mike said, "Wow. You're really good. This has potential. You should publish it." (smile) At the end he said that it was the best card ever. Man, am I gonna have a tough time topping myself. (grin) The first wrapped gift was:
The Simple Truth About Love
When I'd seen it in the store, I couldn't resist because of our "What Is Love?" discussion. I love his books. They are so well done. Mike thought it was so funny.
The pièce de résistance of the gift giving was next. Jonathan and I had gone wandering the mall a few weeks ago and I'd dragged him into Things Remembered because I wanted to get Mike something nice and meaningful. I had the idea of a business card holder with his name engraved on it since he carries a fake leather one. I found a nice one that came with a matching pen. What is funny about this is that two days after I'd picked this gift, Mike misplaced the one he was using. Fortunately he found it in his truck. You can imagine my inner panic when he "lost" the darn thing cause I wondered what he would think about the gift in that light. Would he believe that I really had nothing to do with it's absence? Thank God he found it. Whew. lol I think that he really liked it. I'd had his first name, middle initial, and last name engraved on the card case and his three initials engraved on the pen. It's just my little way of showing my support for his dedication to his work.
We snuggled then. I figured that pouncing wouldn't really occur (though I wanted to) cause he actually had to be up really early to drive to Raleigh, NC (which is 3.5 hours away). But, well, I guess Mike figured I deserved a present in return. (big grin) hee hee
Needless to say, we were both exhausted yesterday but I think it was all worth it. On his way home, Mike got a little lost and ended up at a Raleigh mall. Since he has a mall addiction, he naturally stopped in. There he found a Brookstone. He'd been in one up in PA and had found this incredibly soft blanket. So, he picked up one. And he also saw a Godiva store so he bought me some chocolates in a very nice velveteen heart box. It's really nice. I have a large tub that I'm using as an impromptu dresser since I don't have a but one closet. He hid the box in there when I wasn't looking and I found it when I went in to get some pants for bed. awwwwww Mike hid under the blanket when I found it and the whole thing was funny and sweet. Yeah, I know, we're sickening too. hee hee
I had to work at the store until 4p but I managed to get out at 3p. A stop at the very crowded Kroger took care of the dinner elements. I ran home so that I could wrap up his presents and write a poem in a card for him. I'd written the poem a few weeks ago as an answer to his question of "What is love?" When I read it to Michelle she said, "You do realize that it's saying that you love him?" Yup. Mike had left a message that he would be home about 5:30/6p when I would be in class. I called him back to quickly tell him that I got the message and would see him between 6:30/7p. I was so planning on having a short class. lol
Mike actually walked in a little before 5p. I yelled at him not to enter the living room because I was still copying the poem into the card and had to wrap the presents. It was funny seeing him pause in midstep. lol We chatted and he tried to talk me out of going to class. Oh, yeah, like the reason for that wouldn't have been obvious. lol I actually managed to get home by 6:30p. Mike was asleep. He must have been more tired than he expected. I was going to let him sleep while I started making dinner. See, he had planned to make me some fettucine alfredo. In my stockpile of cut out recipes, I had a decent one for a chicken and broccoli version. So, I figured that I would just get it all together (chopped up) and wake him so he could cook it. He got up not long after that and I shooed him off for a shower while I chopped up stuff. After his shower we wandered around each other and so ended up cooking the dinner together. I have a fairly decent kitchen but I can't wait til we have a better one. It's fun to have someone to cook with and for (but I so want a dishwasher).
While he was finishing it all up, I took a quick shower so that I could put on the nightgown I'd bought last month for just that moment. It's a very lovely red spaghetti strap number that has a matching bra and panties. I have no idea why you'd wear a bra with a nightgown except to help enhance certain areas. lol The material is very light but not sheer. It's very elegant. And Mike liked it a lot. After that surprise for him, we pulled the dinner together and watched Shakespeare in Love. Mike had never seen it and it's one of my all-time favorites. He liked it.
Then it was present time. I'd come across one of last year's Vday beanie bears (the one with the two hearts around the neck that say "I Love You") and so had him sitting on the gifts. Halfway through reading the card, Mike said, "Wow. You're really good. This has potential. You should publish it." (smile) At the end he said that it was the best card ever. Man, am I gonna have a tough time topping myself. (grin) The first wrapped gift was:
The Simple Truth About Love
When I'd seen it in the store, I couldn't resist because of our "What Is Love?" discussion. I love his books. They are so well done. Mike thought it was so funny.
The pièce de résistance of the gift giving was next. Jonathan and I had gone wandering the mall a few weeks ago and I'd dragged him into Things Remembered because I wanted to get Mike something nice and meaningful. I had the idea of a business card holder with his name engraved on it since he carries a fake leather one. I found a nice one that came with a matching pen. What is funny about this is that two days after I'd picked this gift, Mike misplaced the one he was using. Fortunately he found it in his truck. You can imagine my inner panic when he "lost" the darn thing cause I wondered what he would think about the gift in that light. Would he believe that I really had nothing to do with it's absence? Thank God he found it. Whew. lol I think that he really liked it. I'd had his first name, middle initial, and last name engraved on the card case and his three initials engraved on the pen. It's just my little way of showing my support for his dedication to his work.
We snuggled then. I figured that pouncing wouldn't really occur (though I wanted to) cause he actually had to be up really early to drive to Raleigh, NC (which is 3.5 hours away). But, well, I guess Mike figured I deserved a present in return. (big grin) hee hee
Needless to say, we were both exhausted yesterday but I think it was all worth it. On his way home, Mike got a little lost and ended up at a Raleigh mall. Since he has a mall addiction, he naturally stopped in. There he found a Brookstone. He'd been in one up in PA and had found this incredibly soft blanket. So, he picked up one. And he also saw a Godiva store so he bought me some chocolates in a very nice velveteen heart box. It's really nice. I have a large tub that I'm using as an impromptu dresser since I don't have a but one closet. He hid the box in there when I wasn't looking and I found it when I went in to get some pants for bed. awwwwww Mike hid under the blanket when I found it and the whole thing was funny and sweet. Yeah, I know, we're sickening too. hee hee
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Well, I had to wonder what our week apart would do. Would we grow fonder or wander? I really doubted the latter but you never know. The way that my romantic life up until this point has worked would have indicated that the physical distance between us would convert to an emotional one. But, as the title indicates, this was not the case. If anything, the separation helped. I figured that it would be a good thing so that we could take a breath and see how things really stood. I mean, I know how I feel about us -- and that is so odd to think in terms of an us -- but, well, it's hard to know what the other person is thinking unless they tell you. So, I figured that the "break" would somehow clear things one way or another.
I took the day off from the store (I wasn't really needed anyway since Erin was closing with me and she too has a key). Yeah, I could use the money but I wanted the together time with Mike. It's all about priorities. Picking him up at the airport went well. I had been nervous when I first got to the airport but that cleared as I waited. He seemed happy and relaxed. The wall that I'd sensed before didn't to see to be there. I wasn't sure if it was gone or just lowered. But I was happy with what I sensed. I'd promised him cuddles and a massage (no pouncing) when he got back. So, once we got back and got settled in (it was good to have him home), we cuddled on the bed.
At one point, Mike started sniffing my hair and sighed, "Ah, Lynn smell. That's what I missed." awwwwww Then he decided to get playful and tickle my ear. I started giggling and batted his hand away. He hugged me and said, "I missed that too." lol Sickeningly sweet or what?
I thought that Mike would have been exhausted from his Philly romping the night before. He and two of the guys from the school had stayed out late and wandered all around the one section. I was tired too from not getting much sleep on Friday night. But I guess absence can make a cuddle man frisky. lol
So, yeah, it was a good night. We even had another really deep discussion (I honestly have no idea how we end up in them) that did much to clear away the last problem cobwebs left over from the previous weeks. It was an amazing moment.
The Doom DVD came out last week and I had bought it since it is technically our first movie (without other people with us). Our first "real" date movie is actually the new version of Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, we watched that and then Jonathan called to say that Jessica had broken up with him. Poor dear sounded so depressed. He didn't want to be alone so I invited him over. I felt a little guilty because I'd promised Mike an early night but he didn't mind. So, I ended up with the roses that Jonathan had bought for Jessica (they were lovely) and a roadkill friend in my living room. We played some UNO and hashed over everything. I do hope that Mike and I didn't make him feel bad cause as the evening wound down, Mike decided to lay with his head in my lap (I like that when either of us does that) and went into cuddly mode. Jonathan said he was ok with it. I didn't think we were overly obvious but. . .ah well, it's all good. In the end, we didn't get to sleep until Jonathan left at a little after 1a.
On Sunday we slept in and took advantage of just having a lazy day together. No rush to be anywhere or do anything since we overslept for church. We went to Miyo's to get Jessica's side of things. It all came down to Jonathan coming on a little too strong and her feeling pressured. Well, that's understandable since she doesn't know Jonathan as well as Mike and I. Still though, it sucks that the breakup occurred right before Vday. After lunch we went bowling and we think that we found our new hobby. I did rather well and kicked his butt the first two games. He did win the third by 4 points. It was so much fun. We felt like a pair of complete geeks since we both own our own bowling balls (mine was a present from grandfather when I was 14 and his was an undrilled find in the attic). lol
We ended up going to dinner with Jonathan but neither of us was very focused. Sorry about that Jon, but we missed each other. lol
So, the week has been all good. I'll write about Vday in a separate entry. On Monday night, Mike brought over his bicycle from home. That's the only time he's been at his place all week. For the rest of the time we've been coexisting like a homey settled couple. That just blows my mind.
I took the day off from the store (I wasn't really needed anyway since Erin was closing with me and she too has a key). Yeah, I could use the money but I wanted the together time with Mike. It's all about priorities. Picking him up at the airport went well. I had been nervous when I first got to the airport but that cleared as I waited. He seemed happy and relaxed. The wall that I'd sensed before didn't to see to be there. I wasn't sure if it was gone or just lowered. But I was happy with what I sensed. I'd promised him cuddles and a massage (no pouncing) when he got back. So, once we got back and got settled in (it was good to have him home), we cuddled on the bed.
At one point, Mike started sniffing my hair and sighed, "Ah, Lynn smell. That's what I missed." awwwwww Then he decided to get playful and tickle my ear. I started giggling and batted his hand away. He hugged me and said, "I missed that too." lol Sickeningly sweet or what?
I thought that Mike would have been exhausted from his Philly romping the night before. He and two of the guys from the school had stayed out late and wandered all around the one section. I was tired too from not getting much sleep on Friday night. But I guess absence can make a cuddle man frisky. lol
So, yeah, it was a good night. We even had another really deep discussion (I honestly have no idea how we end up in them) that did much to clear away the last problem cobwebs left over from the previous weeks. It was an amazing moment.
The Doom DVD came out last week and I had bought it since it is technically our first movie (without other people with us). Our first "real" date movie is actually the new version of Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, we watched that and then Jonathan called to say that Jessica had broken up with him. Poor dear sounded so depressed. He didn't want to be alone so I invited him over. I felt a little guilty because I'd promised Mike an early night but he didn't mind. So, I ended up with the roses that Jonathan had bought for Jessica (they were lovely) and a roadkill friend in my living room. We played some UNO and hashed over everything. I do hope that Mike and I didn't make him feel bad cause as the evening wound down, Mike decided to lay with his head in my lap (I like that when either of us does that) and went into cuddly mode. Jonathan said he was ok with it. I didn't think we were overly obvious but. . .ah well, it's all good. In the end, we didn't get to sleep until Jonathan left at a little after 1a.
On Sunday we slept in and took advantage of just having a lazy day together. No rush to be anywhere or do anything since we overslept for church. We went to Miyo's to get Jessica's side of things. It all came down to Jonathan coming on a little too strong and her feeling pressured. Well, that's understandable since she doesn't know Jonathan as well as Mike and I. Still though, it sucks that the breakup occurred right before Vday. After lunch we went bowling and we think that we found our new hobby. I did rather well and kicked his butt the first two games. He did win the third by 4 points. It was so much fun. We felt like a pair of complete geeks since we both own our own bowling balls (mine was a present from grandfather when I was 14 and his was an undrilled find in the attic). lol
We ended up going to dinner with Jonathan but neither of us was very focused. Sorry about that Jon, but we missed each other. lol
So, the week has been all good. I'll write about Vday in a separate entry. On Monday night, Mike brought over his bicycle from home. That's the only time he's been at his place all week. For the rest of the time we've been coexisting like a homey settled couple. That just blows my mind.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Song Interlude #4
Despite the peachy glean to things right now, I thought I'd leave one final music thought to sum up my feelings about everything last week. This has always been one of my favorite songs (and RS has always been my favorite artist) and it just seemed an appropriate message.
Don't Walk Away
by Rick Springfield
I know what you're doing
You don't want to put the hurt on someone
You've been trying to convince yourself
You're better off if you just turn and run
But I'm gonna hold on tight
I've got a feeling
You'll only happen once to me
And no one, not even you
Is ever gonna make you wrong for me
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
I don't know where you're going
But I know what you've got on your mind
And I think your fear is showing
You don't leave things like fear behind
And I hate to be the one
To break it to you that
We're only human after all
I can mend a broken wing
I'll give you everything I have
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
You used to be the one
Who used to be so strong
What happened to your rationale
Your heart is on the line
It happens all the time
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
Don't Walk Away
by Rick Springfield
I know what you're doing
You don't want to put the hurt on someone
You've been trying to convince yourself
You're better off if you just turn and run
But I'm gonna hold on tight
I've got a feeling
You'll only happen once to me
And no one, not even you
Is ever gonna make you wrong for me
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
I don't know where you're going
But I know what you've got on your mind
And I think your fear is showing
You don't leave things like fear behind
And I hate to be the one
To break it to you that
We're only human after all
I can mend a broken wing
I'll give you everything I have
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
You used to be the one
Who used to be so strong
What happened to your rationale
Your heart is on the line
It happens all the time
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Or are you looking for a price to pay
Is that your master plan
Don't walk away
I'll do everything to make you stay
I've got to make a stand
Don't walk away
I'm not afraid
Don't walk away
Catch Up #2 Final Entry
Overall, we got past it. I didn't even really want to post about it but it was a big thing last week. And I had banged my head against the brick wall that Mike has up one too many times. I feel really connected to him but he's been holding back. I don't know what or why but I do know that I care about him enough to give him the time he needs to figure things out for himself. I know how I really feel about things but not really how he does.
On Saturday (February 4th) we were at the one mall and saw teddy bear with a heart that said, "I Love You", on it. He pointed it out. I told him, "By the way, for Valentine's Day, you don't have to get me something that says I love you unless you really feel it. In fact, I don't want anything with any sentiments that you don't actually feel." His response, "How about I like you? I really really really like you?" lol Good enough but I don't think the latter will fit on a heart. ;o)
Oh, one other thing I pointed out to him was that just because we don't seem able to sleep well in the same bed doesn't mean that we are a horrible couple. Granted, at Maya's we had a king-size bed to share (I have a queen), but neither of us slept well despite having more room (he is such a space hog). Of course, I did tell him before the dinner debacle that by saying that he can't sleep well with another person in the same bed he is pretty much subconsciously sabotaging himself so that he won'tbe able to. He is setting himself up to fail by saying it. Val agrees with me on that one. I told him that needing separate beds or even rooms does not mean that we are a horrible couple. Hell, Val and I both just heard two different reports that said that most couples would prefer not to share a bed/room with their significant other. And we both know couples that work quite well being separated. But guess what? We did just fine on Thursday (February 2nd) night. So, there is hope for us. I let him sleep alone in my bed on Friday (he wasn't supposed to stay over but I guess my back massage just relaxed him too much) and the futon on Saturday. And we both slept well and there was no strain on our relationship. Just nice morning cuddles.
Guess we're both bears when we don't get enough good sleep. And that is perfectly understandable and normal.
On Sunday (February 5th) I took him to the airport so he could fly up to PA. As you know from the one interlude, we obviously are all fine right now. I slipped a card into his suitcase along with a bookmark for him to use with the books he took. I also made him take one of my scarves in case he wandered around outside so that he would have extra warmth. What can I say? I like doing things for him.
Jami and her boyfriend took him out again last night and tonight he's off gallivanting around Philly with some of the guys from the training session. I hope that he has a good time.
So, all week I have been trying to catch up on various things. There are just not enough hours in the day. I can't wait to see him tomorrow. So looking forward to picking him up. I took off from the store again. Yeah, I need the hours but I need to spend time with Mike more. Sickening, non? (chuckles) I've promised him a good dinner, a massage, and cuddles.
On Saturday (February 4th) we were at the one mall and saw teddy bear with a heart that said, "I Love You", on it. He pointed it out. I told him, "By the way, for Valentine's Day, you don't have to get me something that says I love you unless you really feel it. In fact, I don't want anything with any sentiments that you don't actually feel." His response, "How about I like you? I really really really like you?" lol Good enough but I don't think the latter will fit on a heart. ;o)
Oh, one other thing I pointed out to him was that just because we don't seem able to sleep well in the same bed doesn't mean that we are a horrible couple. Granted, at Maya's we had a king-size bed to share (I have a queen), but neither of us slept well despite having more room (he is such a space hog). Of course, I did tell him before the dinner debacle that by saying that he can't sleep well with another person in the same bed he is pretty much subconsciously sabotaging himself so that he won'tbe able to. He is setting himself up to fail by saying it. Val agrees with me on that one. I told him that needing separate beds or even rooms does not mean that we are a horrible couple. Hell, Val and I both just heard two different reports that said that most couples would prefer not to share a bed/room with their significant other. And we both know couples that work quite well being separated. But guess what? We did just fine on Thursday (February 2nd) night. So, there is hope for us. I let him sleep alone in my bed on Friday (he wasn't supposed to stay over but I guess my back massage just relaxed him too much) and the futon on Saturday. And we both slept well and there was no strain on our relationship. Just nice morning cuddles.
Guess we're both bears when we don't get enough good sleep. And that is perfectly understandable and normal.
On Sunday (February 5th) I took him to the airport so he could fly up to PA. As you know from the one interlude, we obviously are all fine right now. I slipped a card into his suitcase along with a bookmark for him to use with the books he took. I also made him take one of my scarves in case he wandered around outside so that he would have extra warmth. What can I say? I like doing things for him.
Jami and her boyfriend took him out again last night and tonight he's off gallivanting around Philly with some of the guys from the training session. I hope that he has a good time.
So, all week I have been trying to catch up on various things. There are just not enough hours in the day. I can't wait to see him tomorrow. So looking forward to picking him up. I took off from the store again. Yeah, I need the hours but I need to spend time with Mike more. Sickening, non? (chuckles) I've promised him a good dinner, a massage, and cuddles.
Catch Up #2H
So, was I being an emotional female in that segment in 2G? Probably. But it wasn't unjustified. I was feeling less like a girlfriend and more like an inconsequential acquaintance. After all, if you're in a relationship, aren't you supposed to want to spend time together? Yes, we'd been spending a lot of time together but it wasn't as if we weren't still doing other things. True, most of our time apart was spent in work but we were doing some of our usual downtime things -- just not as much. But a lot of what we like to do can be done spent in each other's company. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic.
It's also true that Mike was the one having to drive to my place so that we could spend said time together so he was doing more of the work. However, that wasn't because I wasn't willing to drive to his place. It's because he doesn't want me seeing it until he has some of the projects he's finished some of the projects he's started on it. So, by not letting me come over, he effectively hobbled my ability to meet him halfway on that.
Lastly, I knew that there was something bothering him but he wouldn't tell me what so I became increasingly frustrated. I've been through that kind of thing before: knowing that the other person is upset but because they won't talk to me I can't help (either through simply listening or actively trying to help them come up with a solution) and that hurts a lot. I end up feeling like a secondclass citizen. You can say that it's a guy thing but if that's a case, it's damn frustrating for us women. Especially if said silence is coming from our significant other. grrr lol Also, since he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, I assumed (yes, I know, ass-u-me) that it had to be me because his snarky comments were directed at me.
In the end, despite the advice in the IM, I did end up calling Mike first. It was work related and completely unlooked for and legit. It turned out to be a good thing because me not calling would have completely gone over his head. He told me that he would have figured I would just show up again eventually. lol Ummmm. . .no. See, with a friend that might be the case if we get busy and that's the kind of relationship that we have. But with a boyfriend? Yeah, so not a good sign. The women in my family tend to run towards the silent treatment end of the scale when we're mad. (As he should have noticed at dinner that night when I stopped talking to him after he said that I was pouting when really I was trying not to cry or say something I would regret later. Who says I have no self control? lol)
Anyway, we ended up having dinner together on Tuesday night. We talked over it all and it turned out that I was right that there had been something bothering him but it didn't have anything to do with me. He was frustrated about something. When that happens, he normally finds a creative outlet for releasing it but I was a handy target. I said that it was fine -- I understand why he would use teasing me as an outlet -- but he insisted that it wasn't. Well, no, ok, you shouldn't take out stuff on another person but it is understandable that it happens. Tony said that can be helpful to someone so long as the other person is aware that they aren't the real focus of the sniping. So, had I understood that I wasn't really at the root of the problem, I would have accepted the picking as tension relief.
See, that's one thing that Mike and I have in common: we like to tease each other. We have several running jokes. Mike's never had anyone that he could pick on before and most of the time it's funny and doesn't faze me at all. The problem comes in when the timing is just not the most appropriate. Especially when I'm trying to be obviously serious about something. Then the jokes just come off as though he's not really listening to me. Maybe that's a girl thing. Quite possible. Anyway, such things lead to a communication breakdown. And for two people who are normally quite good at communicating, it's frustrating. I as trying not to overreact (and actually didn't get angry until he said that I would go home later and pout cause that phrasing just showed that he was oblivious to what was going on and felt like he could have cared less about it and thus me -- ah, that is such a girl thing right there) but (shrug). What can I say? Not sure if you can call this our first "fight" when one of us is angry and the other just accepts it but at least it's normal relationship crap. Ah, well, the idyllic phase is so over. lmao
It's also true that Mike was the one having to drive to my place so that we could spend said time together so he was doing more of the work. However, that wasn't because I wasn't willing to drive to his place. It's because he doesn't want me seeing it until he has some of the projects he's finished some of the projects he's started on it. So, by not letting me come over, he effectively hobbled my ability to meet him halfway on that.
Lastly, I knew that there was something bothering him but he wouldn't tell me what so I became increasingly frustrated. I've been through that kind of thing before: knowing that the other person is upset but because they won't talk to me I can't help (either through simply listening or actively trying to help them come up with a solution) and that hurts a lot. I end up feeling like a secondclass citizen. You can say that it's a guy thing but if that's a case, it's damn frustrating for us women. Especially if said silence is coming from our significant other. grrr lol Also, since he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, I assumed (yes, I know, ass-u-me) that it had to be me because his snarky comments were directed at me.
In the end, despite the advice in the IM, I did end up calling Mike first. It was work related and completely unlooked for and legit. It turned out to be a good thing because me not calling would have completely gone over his head. He told me that he would have figured I would just show up again eventually. lol Ummmm. . .no. See, with a friend that might be the case if we get busy and that's the kind of relationship that we have. But with a boyfriend? Yeah, so not a good sign. The women in my family tend to run towards the silent treatment end of the scale when we're mad. (As he should have noticed at dinner that night when I stopped talking to him after he said that I was pouting when really I was trying not to cry or say something I would regret later. Who says I have no self control? lol)
Anyway, we ended up having dinner together on Tuesday night. We talked over it all and it turned out that I was right that there had been something bothering him but it didn't have anything to do with me. He was frustrated about something. When that happens, he normally finds a creative outlet for releasing it but I was a handy target. I said that it was fine -- I understand why he would use teasing me as an outlet -- but he insisted that it wasn't. Well, no, ok, you shouldn't take out stuff on another person but it is understandable that it happens. Tony said that can be helpful to someone so long as the other person is aware that they aren't the real focus of the sniping. So, had I understood that I wasn't really at the root of the problem, I would have accepted the picking as tension relief.
See, that's one thing that Mike and I have in common: we like to tease each other. We have several running jokes. Mike's never had anyone that he could pick on before and most of the time it's funny and doesn't faze me at all. The problem comes in when the timing is just not the most appropriate. Especially when I'm trying to be obviously serious about something. Then the jokes just come off as though he's not really listening to me. Maybe that's a girl thing. Quite possible. Anyway, such things lead to a communication breakdown. And for two people who are normally quite good at communicating, it's frustrating. I as trying not to overreact (and actually didn't get angry until he said that I would go home later and pout cause that phrasing just showed that he was oblivious to what was going on and felt like he could have cared less about it and thus me -- ah, that is such a girl thing right there) but (shrug). What can I say? Not sure if you can call this our first "fight" when one of us is angry and the other just accepts it but at least it's normal relationship crap. Ah, well, the idyllic phase is so over. lmao
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