And Flights of Angels Sing Thee to Thy Rest

I am very sad today. My heart feels a little more broken. Last night at about 10:50pm, Shaman breathed her last on our bed. In December she'd had to take antibiotics because her kidney enzymes were too high. That was fixed easily enough. Then, on January 29th, I found out she had hyperthyroidism like Miri. Well, no big deal, right? We can treat that. She didn't like taking pills again but it was ok. That week we got another cat to be her playmate so she'd get more exercise. I'll write about Hydona more in another blog. Well, Shaman was doing fine until last Wednesday. She started throwing up. Nowhere nearly as bad as Miri but I wasn't wasting time and took her to the vet. A different doc said she had some kind of intestinal bug so he prescribed Hill's ID formula. That was supposed to be mild enough to help flush out her system. Problem was she stopped eating on Saturday. She was still drinking but wouldn't do more than sniff at food. I took her back on Monday and saw her original vet (who is very nice and very good). There were a few things that could be wrong. She had the lump in her thyroid and some hardening in her intestines. He took blood work and the only thing off besides her thyroid was her white blood cell count. Ok, so she had an infection. They gave her a shot of antibiotics. If there was nothing else, by Tuesday she would be perky and eating. Nope. So we went back Tuesday night. Dr. Blaise was very concerned about the intestines and said that it could be one of two things: cancer or irritable bowel disorder. Either one would respond well to steroid injections. But there was no guarantee. If it was the former, Shaman had a chance of it not working and then we were out of options.

So, he gave her a short term steroid to see if she bounced back. Oh, and they had also hydrated her both days. She had 48 hours to respond to the steroid. Well, about 11a on Wednesday, Shaman threw up again and it was bad. . .blood and a huge clot. She did it again Wednesday afternoon minus the clot. Dr. Blaise wanted me to try feeding her baby food through a syringe so I did in the evening. She didn't throw it up. I kept in contact with the vet via email because he was off. But it didn't look good. However, yesterday morning she was bright eyes and more perky. Well, I have class so I took her with me so I could get more food in her. Shaman did all right at first but then at 1:55p she had diarrhea and it was bloody. So, after that last afternoon class I brought her home and canceled my evening class. Shaman crawled into the bath tub (that was her hiding place for some reason). I kept checking on her. About 8p Michael and I went in and she was laying on her side and had that look. . .the dying look. I've seen it so much in animals that I knew it was nearing the end. So I wrapped her up in the towel I had been using so she could smell me and held her for a while. Then we went into the bedroom and stayed with her. We both petted her and talked to her. She purred for me to let me know she knew I was there. Whenever she was scared I calmed her down. She had one last physical struggle to get up before she settled into a doze and then into permanent rest. We pet her for a little while longer and then I gave Michael one of my t-shirts to wrap her in. We put her in a box and will be burying her in the backyard tonight.

Here is my favorite picture of her:



Shaman had been my "baby" for almost 14 years. Like Miri, she's been with me through a lot. But I was closer to her. Shaman was my cuddle kitty. My stuffed animal kitty. She would sleep with me at night. There were so many when I was restless where she would jump up on my hip and side and that comforting weight helped me go to sleep. Or I would curl up with her purring in my ear. We had a routine. Lots of belly rubs. She loved them and would flop down and rub her paw against her face like an otter when I would say "Gonna get the belly!" Shaman had her own language and would talk to me. Heck, she managed to thaw Michael out towards cats. He didn't realize how much personality they actually have. I know he still prefers dogs but he sees the benefits of having a cat. I'm glad he agreed to let me get Hydona so that I at least have a furry body around to purr at me. But there will never be another Shaman. Well, at least not until she finds me again. Even then she will be different. I am going to miss her so much. But I am glad she died here at home and that we will always have her close by. As I told her last night, she was and always will be the best kitty in the whole world.

So Much To Say. . .

Ok, a lot has happened in the last two weeks. I'll save anything wedding related for the blog.

The week Yancey was gone was as I had expected. . .busy as hell. One of the Charlotte stores thought it was a good idea to send us 80 boxes of calendars. . .unannounced and the day before our last kiosk day! Those came in that Tuesday before Yancey left. Basically, I answered the door, found out we had a shipment that we had no room for, went back into the store itself and said to Yancey when he asked what it was and looked shock, "You're the manager, you deal with it." I thought he'd refuse shipment but instead he accepted it and tossed it into the storage shed. (sigh) So, I was left to deal with it anyway. We did pretty well while he was gone. I worked Yancey's shift in Wednesday and dragged myself to the mall on Thursday at 6a for the kiosk's take down. Friday was a bit confusing because we had our regular shipment coming in, our returns going out (the 80 boxes went out on Thursday because the FedEx truck broke on Wednesday), AND he had another 28 boxes of calendars from Charlotte! I was like, "Hell no!" I told our delivery dude (Sheraton) not to unwrap them and then I made some calls. In the end they got sent on to the same store that got the 80 (that dragged into this week but I'll spare you the details). Michael was on call most of the day so he came and helped me unpack boxes. It was a long and exhausting week.

This past week wasn't much better. I was finally able to start my shortened hours at the store (15) but ended up with two more classes at school because one of the other adjuncts had to drop out of teaching. He's an older guy and has gotten sick. They only found out on Tuesday that he wouldn't be returning. I happened to walk into the office just as they were trying to decide what to do. Well, I am really the only one who could help so I took two of his three classes. They are in the mornings for when I'm already there. Only problem was that would keep me from getting out the new stuff. So I called Yancey and said that I couldn't work one of my mornings. He was ok with it. By the time yesterday rolled around, I was exhausted. Michael and I had a long discussion on Thursday night about it all. There's a good chance that I will get to teach over the summer and also get a lot of classes for the fall. We figured out how much time I have to do stuff and it's really daunting. Even though the store would only take up 12 hours a week. . .it's still too much. And it's draining because I am constantly following up behind people to see that things get done and I have no time to do what we had planned for me to do. I have no time or energy for outside sales -- unless they are already set up.

So. . .I turned in my keys yesterday.

Seems sudden, non? Well, not really. I knew my time was over. I have offered to be available for emergencies. I only need to work once a month to stay on payroll. But that's Yancey's call. He didn't say yay or nay. But the others need the hours more than I do now. And I've finally accepted the end of that phase of my life. I learned a lot and I got Michael and Jon out of the mix so I'm satisfied. School and home are where I need to focus now. No more divided loyalties. (sigh) Anyway, there's more stuff but I'll save it for another entry. Hugs.