I Am an Idiot

Not that this is a big surprise. lol Ok, so let's see if I can make all of this fairly short. Sure.

You can probably guess in what area of my life I'm an idiot: work. Specifically, the bookstore. Well, duh. Yancey seems to be ok. I like him and he's goofy enough to fit in with everyone. He has a lot of management experience. I just hope it's enough for him to survive this store. Not the company, but this store. Only time will tell. Everyone is still cautiously optimistic. And, God love them, they were all fairly normal on his first day two Fridays ago. I was so proud of them all. They let him slip into the group without any drama. The only tension Yancey felt was the usual suspicion of an established crew for a new leader. And even that wasn't mild. Amanda was the best because she was just her usual goofy, perverted self. I don't think that she was aware of it, but she tested him the best for us. lol She wasn't feeling well so she was ditsier than usual (which, if you knew her says something). Well, she came into the back at one point while we (Yancey and I) were working on the shipment. I don't know what prompted it but she went on a tangent about how she loves men with tattoos, piercings, and who play drums. I looked at Yancey (who has a big tattoo on his right arm and ear piercings) and said, "Well, you have two. Do you drum?" "Uh, no. And I'm too old and not cute enough." Amanda told him to turn around so she could look at his face. She studied it very seriously for a moment before saying, "No, you're handsome. You remind me of. . .Patrick Stewart. Oh my God! Patrick Stewart is soooo hot! I would so have his kids! Even if I had to do it by artificial insemination!" I was nearly dying I was laughing so hard. Poor Yancey looked like he had been hit upside the head. Ok, well, he actually looked like that most of the day. He really didn't know what he was getting himself into. That's what he gets for saying that he wanted "to work with more intelligent people" (he said that to his other crew before he left). He just didn't stop to think what the trade off would be. As he put it, I have a very "interesting" crew. Yup, and I love em for all of their unique idiosyncrasies. (big grin)

So, that part went well. I made sure that Yancey knew why I had turned in my resignation. And the more I've gotten to know him, the more relief I feel that I am no longer in charge. I hold no resentment towards him whatsoever. I would even stay part-time if the higher ups would let me. But they don't usually let people step down and stay. I think it's dumb to have a blanket policy like that. It should be a case by case. I can see why it's not a good idea in some cases because people can be awfully bitchy about being subordinate to someone who took their job. Heck, one of the other managers actually said to me, "I'm going to say what everyone is thinking but won't say: don't hate Yancey for getting the position." She said that because I mentioned that I would like to stay part-time so I can continue doing the customer service that I like doing. I was so surprised that I goggled for a minute. Um, no. Yancey applied for a job that had come open. It wasn't personal. He wanted a change and saw a chance to get back to something he'd loved at one time and took it. It had nothing to do with me. I mean, I can see how some people can see it that way but they have issues. I told the other manager all of this and I added, "Oh, wait, that must be because they aren't used to having adults around here." (snort) Give me a break. The relief I feel right now just shows that I wasn't into getting the job with my whole heart. Well, no, I have other responsibilities and it's been tearing me up trying to satisfy them all.

Now, if Yancey had come in like a bull. . .yeah, leaving would so be the option. But I like him so far. So, I talked with the DM about staying for one or two nights a week. She's not sure HR will go for it but we'll see.

So, where does the idiot part come in? Well, probably a little with that. But mostly because I am staying as assistant through the end of this month. (sigh) I was supposed to step down on Friday but I couldn't. Yancey was happy to have me do the schedules for him. Well, Chad's last day was Tuesday. He got a promotion at his "real" job and just couldn't see how he could do both until he gets used to the schedule. That would have been ok cause he only worked two days a week. He's a great employee so his presence will be missed but in terms of hours, it was ok cause the others will gladly fill the gap. And we have to let someone else go cause she has flaked out totally. But that was something I'd been scheduling around for a while. We are losing Russ next month because he's moving but that wasn't a big scheduling deal because by the time he leaves, we'll back to short hours. He wants beaucoup hours so he was gonna fill in for the others. And when Felicia leaves for PA for three weeks, Jon and Lindsay were planning on filling that gap with full hours. But then we lost Kim. For various personal reasons, she's moving back in with her parents who live two hours away. We didn't find that out until Monday and yesterday needed to be her last day. (sigh) That was a blow because not only do we all like her too, she is one of the kiosk people. Now, the kiosk can function with just the three who are left but they were all also going to fill in at the store so we wouldn't be short.

Well, everyone knows that means that we need new hires. But until Yancey gets them in and they get trained. . .that left us way too short while I was doing the schedules. I thought that if I just scheduled for the lowest possible end of hours we would use, that would be enough. But no, we came way to far under. There is just no way that the store can do well without me staying at least another week. There was too much of a gap in coverage. And you can throw someone into the pool but they can't swim like a seasoned vet. You can't get the gold with a greenie. So, I put myself on the schedule after I told Yancey. Now, he's happy to have me stay. He even told the DM he's ok with me staying on part-time. I called her to tell her that I was going to have to stay at least next week because of the scheduling problem. Well, she said that was fine and asked if I just wanted to push back my date. Yes, please. So, I get to set a new date. (sigh) It would have been so easy to leave if I hated Yancey. If I could feel completely angry and humiliated. But I don't. I just feel like I can't walk away without helping. I can't do it. And that makes me an idiot. How many times do I have to be smacked down before I learn? lol Well, those of you who've known me for years know that I have a very stubborn streak. And I can't stand to walk away from things easily. Especially people or things that I love. But I refuse to make myself ill over it. The DM admonished me to take it easy and not overdo it because I ended up out on Monday because I was in a lot of pain and had pulled one of my scars open a little. I stayed home to rest but was still blech on Wednesday.

No, I won't push it. I am taking off next weekend and dragging Mike to the beach for a much needed break. I need a few days away to recharge my batteries. So, yeah, I will take it easy.

Classes are over. I have one huge day coming up this Tuesday. Get everything graded and then I can end this hellish semester. Hence the break coming next weekend.

One advantage to staying as assistant for the rest of the month: I get two holiday days out of it. (grin) I didn't even think of that until Friday. And my vacation days will completely kick in so I won't owe the company them when I step down. But still, I was almost free for the holidays. I am such an idiot. I could have avoided all of the holiday work stress. Masochist. I'm a masochistic idiot. lol