Anime Widow

So, here's the second half:

On Thursday, I was supposed to have gotten home a little after 4p so Mike and I could leave for Atlanta early but instead we left after 6p. He was annoyed with me because he came home at 3p to wait for me instead of doing a last minute call that he’d gotten at work. Even though he was adamant that he understood that it wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t leave work earlier (Jon didn’t get into the store until 4p anyway so I couldn’t have left until then), he was mad that he had to leave a job unfinished before going on vacation. So, our trip started out on a very sour note. I was stressed out because of work – there was more to the stress than just what I wrote above but I’ll spare you that stuff – and because Mike was upset. I wasn’t feeling well (migraine/cramps) so that didn’t help either. It was just so peachy.

As you can imagine, I wasn’t too surprised with how the day ended on Thursday. We get to the hotel only to find out that they had over booked the place and we were being bumped to another hotel. This was at 10:30p. Mike had made his reservations back in February. Heck, there were people who had made them last November who got bumped. It was just peachy. The good thing to come out of it was that we got one night’s free lodging. Sheesh. Got up early on Friday so we could beat the crowds for registration to the 12th annual Anime Weekend Atlanta. Yup, you heard me right. Hence why I have the title of this piece. It’s a con that Mike has gone to the pats couple of years and is one of his favorite things in the whole world. Fortunately, nothing can make Mike unhappy when he is here or we would have had some major problems on Friday cause I was a much less than a happy camper. Lack of sleep, stress, etc. will do that to you. My mood was definitely black and cloudy. My final straw came after it seemed like we might still not get a room. Well, that and Mike admonishing me that I was being rather mean to the receptionist. Mean? I didn’t lose my temper or yell or anything like that. Was I chipper? Heck no but then why should I have to be? I wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to rest. No, it’s not the receptionist’s fault – hence the keeping check of my temper – but I wasn’t about to be uber nice and have them walk all over us. But I guess that I had my super intense scary face on cause Mike was annoyed with me. Hey, we got a room before some other people. Of course, the final straw came when we got up here and there were two doubles instead of a king! So much for snuggling and stuff. But did I go back down and yell at anyone or demand a different room? Nope. THAT would have been unreasonable behavior. Mike just doesn’t appreciate how much I was NOT a bitch on Friday. lol Granted I was being bitchy, but it could have been so much worse.

I ended up spending the afternoon feeling miserable and stressed out. Mike went and did his thing which was good because most of what was wrong was my own mind. And I didn’t want to ruin the con for him. And I did try later that day to cheer up and join in on stuff. But it didn’t really seem to work. Ok – and yes, I’m aware that what I’m going to say is contradictory but whatever – it didn’t help that Mike didn’t seem to really care whether I was with him or not. My presence was inconsequential to whether he was going to have fun. He was happy no matter what I did. On one hand this is good because I wanted him to have a good time. On the other hand, I wanted us to do stuff together. I wanted to be a part of this with him because it’s something he loves. I didn’t want to make him miserable with my mood and leaving me to my own devices certainly made sure that it didn’t but leaving me alone also made me feel cut off and isolated. When I did finally get into a better frame of mind to try and be sociable, my efforts seemed to go unnoticed. Mike later told me that I didn’t have to try and do anything, I just had to have fun.

(Sigh) But that’s just the problem, isn’t it? I had told him before that I didn’t want him to worry about me cause I can keep myself amused. But then I fall into the whole “I would have more fun being with you” trap. I would prefer to spend the con time with Mike but not everything he wanted to see is something I find interesting. 95% of what I did watch was pretty good but there were some things I just couldn’t raise the energy for. Part of it is that I’m too damned tired. The last few months have sapped me out and I just don’t have much energy right now. I’ve had to take naps the past two days in the afternoon just so I could function at night.
At any rate, this is all a problem with me. I realized yesterday morning that here I am like women who are with football crazed fans – the sport takes precedence over the relationship. So, I am an anime widow instead of a football widow. The major difference is that I only have to deal with “losing” Mike for one weekend a year instead of months. lol Mike is used to doing his own thing at the con. He’s not used to having someone else around with him. He wants me to have a good time but not the expense of his good time here. And since it’s his “thing”, what he wants matters more. If this were my con, then the roles would be reversed. It has certainly been a learning experience, that’s for sure.

Yesterday was much better. After some sleep, I was ok to do stuff. Mike and I were together on and off throughout the day. Had a really stressful phone call from Jon about more problems at the store (Tyler was hit in the eye with a cord at the kiosk, another person called out due to home problems with a water main, etc). Grrr. But then Mike and I had a nice dinner. He bought me a bag that I had thought was cool. And he got me a pair of cat ears cause I said that I wanted some. They’re pretty cool. We watched a few hours of shows. They were pretty good and I feel better about everything. I found some that I could get into. I’ll never be as into this stuff as he is but that’s ok. I don’t need to be. So long as he’s ok with that, I’m ok with it. I did drag him to see some Hentai (cartoon porn) cause I was curious about it. The first one was, well, interesting. The second one was funny and the audience was a good one to be with. Overall, the day ended pretty well even if he didn’t come back to the room with me and. . . . lol

Today we have spent the entire time apart. There weren’t any shows that I wanted to see. So, I went shopping instead. Got a few more stocking stuffers for Christmas. And wandered to the mall so I could get some stuff. But I am still tired and feeling eh. I know that part of my mood is because tomorrow is my birthday and I am always a grump around it cause it never goes quite the way I want it too. I’ll live. Mike should be back soon. The closing ceremonies should be over by now and I can finally have him back. Would really like a good long cuddle right now.