Urk

All of you people who have never suffered from procrastination and/or been a pack rat. . .you suck! lol The rest of you will feel my pain. (sigh) I've spent the past two weeks working on getting our spare bedroom dug out. Well, I've finished the first level of sorting, as Michael put it. Yes, we have levels. Why? Because I have too much stuff!

Ok, there are reasons for most of it. But then there's that 25% where I go. . .what was thinking when I moved last? Oh, that's right, I wasn't. Because I never think when I move. I never go through stuff. I just pile it all together and say, "I'll sort it out when I get to the new place and start fresh." Um, no. Cause at the new place I just ignore it. (sigh) You know, like a cat with its paw over its eyes, "If I don't see you you're not there?" That would be me.

Now, some of the stuff I've schlepped around over 4 moves in 13 years hasn't always been with me but it has accumulated. It's amazing how much stuff can pile up over the years.

Magazines: I had a gazillion subscriptions at one point (about 10 years ago) and threw out a good bit of them but still had far too many. They are now down to a few plastic crates (about 5 I think). This may sound like a lot and it probably is but when you figure that I threw out I don't know how many times that. . .well, it's not so bad. Mostly what I have left is fantasy stuff plus things that could be useful for academic ("Psychology Today") purposes.

Cards: My God, I have my own Hallmark store. I always joked that I kept them in business. Yup, I did. Do. Sheesh. Well, once I get them sorted, I will have a nice emergency stash. A good chunk of the cards are going to be donated to Michael's church because they are ones that I got, unsolicited, from charities at one point. That's what I get for donating when I can (I have 4/5 that I try to but haven't been able to for a long time). Then there are the cards and letters that people have sent/given to me. I have every one, I think. It may sound insane but it's hard for me to just toss a card, even a simple one. It's like tossing away a smile because that's what I do when I see the card. So, I keep them. Every one. I have since I was a child. I think it's because mom used to so I guess she started the idea but by my teens it became a habit. And I won't change that one even though it takes up space. Even the cards from people I no longer speak to (for whatever reason) because the memory is precious. Guess I should write for Hallmark too.

Stuffed Animals: aka Plushies Ok, this one I cannot be completely blamed for. I've had them my entire life and still have, in pretty good condition, the ones from my childhood. The ones that are my fault are the Beanie Babies. I admit that cause I was an adult when they came out. However, I didn't buy them solely because they were a collectible at the time, I bought them because of my love for stuffed cute toys. Yes, I know how old I am. I don't care. Live with it. lol

Collectibles: aka Dust Catchers lol Had to put that on there because that's what dad would have called them. Mom is partly to blame for this one because she would do series of items from time to time. That and buying me things to decorate my room. I also put under this category anything themed that anyone has ever given me. So, this is a big one because it's not what I've bought. My contribution to this category is maybe a third. Unless you count each bookmark separately in the stash and then, well, it jumps up. lol I looooove collecting bookmarks!

Paperwork: Good Lord! I have school stuff from back in high school! Not much. I so need to go through it cause this is taking up too much space. At least the plushies we could toss in the attic in sealed containers. I am not too upset with myself here because most of it will probably need to be saved "just in case" since it is a professional tool but still. Michael wasn't kidding when he said that the house would go up like a match. Sheesh.

Photographs: Way more than I thought I had but then, I've added to the stash over the years. That's gonna be a fun project when I have time. (laughs hysterically) ahem

Miscellaneous: Odds and ends of things that I will stash in a drawer to use at some point.

You know, it would make life simpler not to have all this stuff but I can't seem to get rid of it all just yet. I am getting better though. When I get frustrated enough. . .I toss it. Some things I may donate. Some I will give to friends to add to their piles of stuff. So, it all works out in the end. I hope.

I Give Up

Ok, so that whole high school like debacle that I wrote about last time came to a startling conclusion. My friend bolstered up some courage and then got turned down with a, "I will be busy for the foreseeable future." Ummm Ok, color me confused. Granted, it is a true statement and maybe the person being pursued just doesn't want to get into any relationship stuff right now (which was kind of said to me in the first place) but we were simply talking about hanging out, not marriage.

So, whatever. I give up on trying to figure people out on this. But I am very proud of my friend for giving it a shot. It's hard to set yourself up for the possibility of that kind of reaction. And it can be very draining. But kudos for trying!!

As for every singleton out there, if it can happen to me, it can happen for you. I mean, I thought I was going to be the eccentric old maiden aunt with the 52 cats and now I'm planning a wedding. It still seems surreal to me. I found a man who really does love me despite my faults -- nay, in some respects because of them since they are entertaining -- and is happy with me. And the really ironic part? Everything I'd ever done wrong in trying to pursue something with guys in the past was exactly what I had to do in order for him to buy the clue. I wasn't doing it wrong all those years, I was just doing the right thing with the wrong men. lol So, buck up. There is hope. And friends to smack you when you start to doubt. Hugs.

It's Not Complicated, It's Difficult

Man, it is always so much easier to give advice about love than it is to take it or act upon it. Why do we always complicate things to the nth degree even when we know better?

See, I have a friend who has been flirting with someone for a long time. I know the second person in a chatty sort of way. Now, the situation has been going on for a long time. My friend even got up the nerve to actually finagle a way around finding out if the other person was single. But the question that still needed answering was whether there was any interest.

I got bugged about chatting with the "love interest" in order to find out the answer. Felt a little silly but I wanted to help out. I had two choices since chat time was limited but outside events: 1) I could simply say hi and that my friend says hi too or 2) I could just come out and ask. Now, had I not known this person before, only option 1 would have been available. But since I do and time was limited, I went for it. Besides, any hinting I could have done would have let the cat out of the bag without ever answering the question. However, yes, there is an interest! And it wasn't feigned or anything. I happily told my friend that the pressure was off because we had an answer and no rejection was nigh.

So, what do you think happened?

Yup, my friend freaked. Now, I can understand a whole, "Oh my God I cannot believe you did that!" spiel. Yup, understandable. But it should help to know when another person has interest right?

Nope. I miscalculated how much communication anxiety my friend could actually get. I mean, I know nerves and have had them but today was major fear. I've been telling my friend all week that now is a good time to ask the interested party out. Nope. Michael thinks that the problem is that it's being done in too public an environment. That's probably partially it but I think phone would be too much to. (sigh) So now what? I don't know. I tried to help and made it worse and now I feel really bad about it. I mean, is there something I can do to fix this or do I just let my friend wallow in fear and misery? I am a little confused because they have known each other for a long time even though they have never been friends. I would have thought the familiarity would make things easier. But no. . .I want my friend to stop moping and take a chance. I thought it was time to but I guess I was wrong. But I wonder when the time will ever be right to pursue this dream? Any suggestions?

Updates

Well, it turns out that Chuck (my brother) is fine. Nothing wrong with his heart. So, he's been put on cholesterol medicine to lower it. Yeah, that could do it when coupled with stress. But at least we know.

As for my car debacle. . .turns out that someone on one of the next streets had his car spray painted too. The paint is the same but what was on his was totally different from mine. So. . .the only real connection is the paint because I don't know my "neighbor" and there doesn't appear to be any other connection. Still, the detective is professional enough to pursue the student angle if I want him to. Michael says yes but I dunno. I mean, it could be someone covering their butts or they vandal(s) made a mistake at first. . .too many variables. (sigh) Michael had said Sunday night that it looked like the spray can had run out of paint so I suspect the other guy got hit first but I don't know that.

Anyway, the rest of the week has been quiet. Well, except for my hyper bunny mode. Two days of massive energy rush. Of course, Michael has benefited from that so I guess it's all good. lol Gotta get some work done though. I just realized that not much has been accomplished this week. Where did it go? Then again, it was thrown off by the holiday and stuff so. . .guess I should have expected it. Will let you know if anything else exciting pops up. Hugs

Well, Last Night Was Interesting. . .

And no, not in the way any of you perverts were thinking. Sheesh

Seriously though. . .Michael, Jonathan and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie (it was pretty decent). Jon had to work at the store so we met up afterwards. Well, Michael and I'd had a late lunch so we were hungry after the movie and stopped at Waffle House. The evening was going well until we pulled into our driveway about midnight. As Michael's headlights hit the back of my car we both noticed something odd and shiny. As we got closer, we realized that someone had vandalized my car.

Yup, someone decided that spray painting my car last night was a fun recreation. Across the back part of my trunk and passenger light and around the side was a bronze graffiti: BITCH. The passenger side also had streaks of paint across it. Looks like whoever did it focused on the word and ran out.

"Who?" You are asking yourselves. Good question. No idea. Well, not specifically but considering I just turned in my spring semester grades on the 11th and I had a few unhappy students (as usual). . .that is our best guess.

Yes, we called the police and I reported the incident. They took pictures but we'll see if anything comes of it. Michael actually managed to get the paint off without doing more than scratching the plastic over my lights. Go me and not forking out money like I used to to wash the car more regularly during pollen season because that and the fact that it was humid kept the paint from settling in. Oh, and go Easy Off oven cleaner!! Took Michael two hours to get it off but he was determined not to let it set in. (sigh) Stupid people. I'm annoyed and hurt by it more than angry. I won't speculate on here but will let you know if anything further comes of it.

So, a good weekend ended on an annoying note. But it picked up today because we had lunch with my friends, Ruthann and Roy, who are both in town. That was great cause they finally got to meet Michael. So, that made it better. Now I'll just chill a bit and relax. You can always email me with questions about the incident if you want to know what I'm thinking. But eventually it will pop up on here. Hugs.

Verrrry Interesting

According to the Washington Post, Barnes and Noble is looking to bid on Borders. I read this on AOL a little while ago. I also read the comments that were posted about it. I wanted to post too but it wouldn't go through. Here's what I wanted to say:

Borders is currently the only major bookseller that still has small in-mall stores: Waldenbooks. Barnes and Noble got rid of most, if not all, of theirs years ago. So, what happens to that brand if B&N takes over? Either way it doesn't matter because no one seems to care whether Waldenbooks succeeds (which it could do if given the right kind of support).. I like both chains but they tend to use up and squash the little guys. I will buy from amazon when I need something hard to get or out of print. They are a great resources and it would be interesting to see them buy Borders (with whom they were online partners until this year). As for Walmart. . .yeah, they are cheaper on bestsellers but they don't have a very good variety of books in general. I refuse to buy books from them for various reasons. Support the bookstores!

No one on there seemed to realize that Borders owns Waldenbooks. That's not really a surprise since Borders doesn't advertise it. I do agree with several of the responses that they are basically the same anyway (B&N and Borders) in concept with the big stores. I prefer Borders but that's only because I've had better luck with getting help at various ones than at B&N. And the B&Ns tend to be very dark inside. Still I did have a card there once until I started working for the competition. lol And now, well, can't buy much until after the wedding. And then I'll probably go back to what I did pre-bookseller career and buy from various places depending upon the book and how quickly I want it.

Still, I found the article interesting and can't wait to see what happens from it.

Go Kyle!!

Yay!! Kyle (northern) finally got his psychology degree. I am so proud of you (I know he reads the blog but I wanted everyone to know too)! Doing a big happy dance right now. Won't talk about how long it's taken (wink) but that step is over. Dude, wish I could have been there. You look so tired in the photo but so awesome too:



I want to hear all about it so call me when you have time!

We will have lots to celebrate this year. My two youngest nieces are graduating from high school. Cynthia's is on the 30th. I'm not sure when Cheri's is. I so wish I could go to both but there just isn't any money to spare. But I am so proud of them too. They are college bound.

And Kyle? Well, he's grad school bound right?

Guess I better get my diss done before they all catch up to me! (wink) Love to all.

Economy Rant

The following is a poli-business rant so don't read if you don't want to. lol

Ok, so, the government wonders why we are in a recession. They are sending most of us "stimulus checks" to try and help boost the economy. Um, maybe instead they should look at some corporations are doing business. I swear, the following three examples must have all had their higher ups train at the same "Management School For Dummies":

Corporation A: They were taken over about a year ago by a company that had no real clue what some of the products are. Instead of asking employees to explain their various jobs, etc, the new company just runs over everyone like a bull in a china shop. Cliché but accurate description. Now they are asking every employee to sign a ridiculous contract that basically gives them the right to control the employees' lives for two years after they leave the company (no matter what the circumstances cause the leave). Briefly: the contract states that employees are not allowed to get a job with any competitor and/or with a company that has any remote connection to any field that they are attached to. Example: an employee would not be able to go work for (even as a janitor) any software company because they sell software too. I kid you not. The former employee can only work for someone else where there may even be the slightest conflict of interest (in the eyes of Corporation A) if they get a waiver from Corporation A. If the former employee moves, etc, they must report that to Corporation A. Basically they cannot make any life decisions without Corporation A knowing about it for two years or they are subject to a breach of contract and retribution. If an employee does not sign the contract, they are fired. Of course, this has led them to firing so many people that the ones left who won't sign can't be let go until their replacements are trained. How's that for screwing yourself?

Corporation B: This company bought out a smaller one years ago so that they could use them as a means of paying for their larger branches until they were firmly entrenched. Once the larger ones became known and popular, the smaller ones were left to basically rot (degrade). For the past few years, the rules and stipulations that have been put on the smaller businesses have been such that they can't possibly meet the outrageous goals of the larger firm. So, the company finds that since the larger stores are now hurting in the economic slide and the smaller ones (which could have been a balancing asset) can no longer help because they have been clipped so much, they must put everything up for sale and hope for the best. In the meantime, they are seeking a way to save money. And how are they doing this? Well, the latest is the following: 1) no new hires for stores until June (which leaves one local store with only 5 employees), 2) training mangaers are no longer allowed to travel, 3) district managers are not allowed to travel for at least five weeks (how they are supposed to help their stores who knows), 4) several VPs have been fired, and they will no longer offer holiday pay. This comes on top of insane sales plans coupled with low hour offerings. Store managers have been expected to take up the slack by working six 8-hour days a week. Everyone has seen the slide coming for some time. Oh, and the higher ups have hired an outside company to help them develop a plan that will help them save money. Yeah. Sure. Why not ask the more experienced employees? Oh, right, like with Corporation A, that would make sense.

Corporation C: Has jumped on the outsourcing bandwagon. All jobs will be outsourced to India. But that's not the kicker for its future former employees. The real punch in the gut comes in the form of being given the option of personally training their replacements or losing any benefits (on top of severance pay) that they had accrued with the company. It's almost as bad as being replaced by a robot because they can do the work longer and faster. Only, in this case, the employee is being replaced by someone who can be paid less than a third of their salary. Hey, great for the new guy, bad for the old.

And doesn't that all just sum it up? Companies expect their employees to be loyal but they refuse to show them the same consideration. I mean, yeah, this is business and the point is to make money. But that just perpetuates a cycle that is partially responsible for dragging down our economy. Either stupidity or greed is robbing us of our stability. It's only a part of the problem but it is a big one: companies are taking advantage of people because they know that folks will do what it takes to earn money to put food on the table. But that only means they are shooting themselves in the foot when the ripple affect hits and there's no one to buy, etc, what they have to offer. Good grief.

Ok, I'll stop and be back to "normal" tomorrow.

Send Happy Thoughts, Please

I was online late last night because I wanted to email Valerie some info before I forgot. Well, my brother, Chuck, popped online and I IMd him. He's been in Hawaii for the past few months on a work contract for some company. He wondered what I was doing up at midnight my time but you know me, the night owl. lol Anyway, he was online because he's thinking of getting a second Masters degree. His first is in Elementary Education (his BA is in electrical engineering, I think) but now he;s thinking Psychology!! Wow, I never would have thought of Chuck going for a psychology degree. Actually, I think that he would make a good one but, well, I guess things have changed a lot from past conversations.

Sidetrack: I just realized that I am surrounded now by people pursuing degrees in that field. I find that ironic since I've been studying it since high school and have always thought I would eventually get one myself. lol Very interesting.

Anyway, the need for happy thoughts comes in here. . .Chuck said to me, "I am going to the hospital on Thursday so on Friday they can do a cardiac catherization to see why I have chest pains and also a bad stress test." He's only 44! Of course, he does tend to put a lot of stress on himself so, I guess that would explain it. Actually, he's been the healthiest of us. So, I guess that's why it's a shock. He has to stay through Saturday because he doesn't have anyone to look after him. His wife is in Nevada at their home and, knowing Chuck, he probably told her not to spend the money to go to Hawaii. I assume this because he said, "I am fine, just need to know what is gong on so I can get it fixed." And, "I will be fine after all I am in a hospital." Sheesh, that latter gave me a chill. Famous last words. lol But yeah, he should be fine. Promised to email me on Sunday so I'll let you all know.

I told him he wasn't allowed to get sick until AFTER the wedding! Seriously though, I worry. Hey, that's what sisters are for, right? I just passed on the word up home. They really need to clean up the answering machine. That beep lasted forever! More soon. Hugs.

Relief Is Spelled W-O-R-K

lol Like the title? I know it seems wrong but in this case it's true. See, I always teach a summer course on base for USC. It always makes though the number of students varies. It's been a close call the last two years but has gotten enough students last minute. Well, this year has been different. Classes start next week (they run it differently than on main) and up until yesterday I only had three students signed up. Then I had a fourth yesterday. yuck So, I've been a little frantic inside because, well, it would help if I had a job for at least part of the summer. Granted, doing the dissertation, wedding planning, and housework are all jobs in and of themselves but they don't provide funds.

I got an email about the start of classes next week, blah blah. General one. So, I emailed her and asked what the procedure was since I only have four students. She said that there is a soldier pending to take the class and that they put the paperwork through today. Woohoo! I have been moving from shock to relief over the past hour. Normally I think I am supposed to have 10-12 students registered before they will do that. But I am so not going to argue about only having five. Talk about an easy job. The hardest part will be coming up with things to do with them so that we actually use some class time. lol My normal way of doing things is geared towards 15-20 students needing to do their speeches. hmmm Can we say guinea pigs?

Man, this is just awesome. Michael is really going to be relieved. Cause, this was about to suck big time. I mean, who's gonna hire me when I would have to quit in August? And I will not lie about that. Oh, I do have an interview next week with the university's test prep center to teach for them but I have no idea when that would start if they hire me. They may not want me considering how swamped I am in the fall. But we'll see. Ok, time for lunch!

Flower Day

Well, yesterday could have been better. Started out well enough as the last post mentioned. See, Wednesday night I had gone to bed with a migraine. Had a few pains before I wrote the blog but nothing bad. But as I sat in my office doing stuff, my head got worse and I started feeling nauseous again (I had the night before). My head was swimming. So I went home and laid on the couch. Took some medicine and waited for Michael to come home. He took me to my classroom last night to meet any students dropping off their finals. By the time we got home I was crampy.

Yes, I know. I don't have a certain female organ anymore. But I still have my ovaries and my cervix. So, you can imagine my surprise when I realized that I felt like I did last year. Well, I looked stuff up and it's to be expected from what I can tell. I mean, the doctor did say that I could still experience PMS, etc symptoms because I still have the hormones. I just don't have the obvious outcome. (sigh) So, that explains the migraine because it wasn't the weather and there wasn't anything else I could think of. I was pretty miserable last night and slept badly. So did Michael because he hurt his shoulder. What a pair we make.

I was pretty frustrated with everything last night because I felt like crap. (sigh)

Anyway, today was better. I checked out a new spa here and had a facial and it was wonderful. The woman was awesome and I will definitely be going back. So, I have a new place now called Tranquil Moments Day Spa. It's nice to have a new place and it will be great for getting prepped for the wedding. (grin) The weather was lovely. So overall I felt better.

Michael beat me home. And he left a surprise for me in my office:



Aren't they lovely? He did it just because he felt like it. The cats have sniffed but are mostly ignoring them. So, that's good. They are so pretty and make a nice splash of color in the room. Thank you!! Michael only buys me flowers when the whim strikes him. He got a massage for his thoughtfulness.

Well, my head is starting to hurt again so I'm gonna call it a night. Hugs.

Calm Week

Well, this week has been fairly laid back. I've been giving myself some down time because it's finals week and my schedule is whacked. I have a ton of grading to do though so I'll be working on that some today.

I told Michael that I would get a temporary job if one popped up but that no one would hire me for anything else when I have to start back at school in August. And I won't lie about that to get a job. But there is the possibility something will pop up for a few hours a week. Never know. If not, it's not like I don't have a gazillion things to get done any way, right? lol

I want to give a shout out of Happy Birthday to my eldest bro, John. It was on Tuesday. I'd also like to say huge congratulations to Rebecca and Nathan who are the proud first time parents of a baby boy. And congratulations to Celeste on finally getting her doctorate! Talk about inspiration. You go, girl!

Everybody please send kind thoughts and good energy to Andi. She's having a tough time right now. Poor dear. It will be ok.

Well, that's about it. I know, hard to imagine my life being fairly "quiet." Oh, geez, I probably just jinxed myself. (PS It's only quiet now that the housekeeping lady is out of my office and off our phone from discussing some drama. Sheesh lol)

One of Those Days

Yesterday was not the best of days. Oh, it started out well enough but by the end of it I had a headache and just wanted to sleep. Michael went with me to my last class cause we planned to spend the day together not doing anything serious. Just us bonding time. Class went well and we stopped home afterward so I could look for some things to take shopping with us. We planned to mainly window shop but I had some coupons for "just in case" and everything. Well, he felt blech so he ended up falling asleep. That was ok cause a thunderstorm had moved in and my brain was feeling fuzzy too.

When he woke up, we decided to grab a pizza at the local Greek restaurant because I think it's better than any of the chains. It was only 3:30p so the place was deserted. Well, that and because of the Kenny Chesney concert. People had been lined up for the 8p show at 9a!! Anyway, "dinner" was nice and we went to Lowe's to get a steam washer. Not for carpet (as we have only one rug in the living room), but for cleaning in general. Michael thinks that will be a good way for me to get all the nooks and crannies that drive me nuts. Plus be able to avoid getting sick every time I clean the bathroom because of the cleaning fumes. Even with the fan on, I sneeze forever and get congestion. It's a good idea and the thing works well (Michael had to test it out of course).

So, this is all decent, right? Yup. At least until Blockbuster. We decided on movies easily enough but he got grumpy at me for wanting to rent some episodes of "Bridezillas". I'd watched clips online but no full episodes and was just in the mood for something amusing. Michael just sees it as irritating. Well, hell, it was a free rental so whatever. But that wasn't the main problem. Nope. . .we get back outside to his truck and realize that it won't start. Oh, something is spinning inside but no ignition. Michael says that the engine isn't getting any fuel. His truck has been making noises for a while but, of course, he's ignored it. (sigh) Well, the clincher is that he'd left his cell phone at home to charge and I'd left my bag at home so we were phone less. Jonathan would have been getting off work at that time (and, in fact, ironically enough was calling the house at the time we realized all this) but we couldn't remember his number.

What to do? Not call a tow truck because Michael wants to see what his work wants to do about it (he's due for a new vehicle soon). And not leave it right in front of the store. Nope, let's back up the truck into the space behind us. Sounded simple enough. You would think. No, apparently I can't drive. The parking lot was slanted just enough that Michael could push the truck backwards. Problem #1: I was worried he would hurt himself. Problem #2: I was worried I would hit one of the cars behind us. Problem #3: I am not used to his truck. Granted, his truck isn't much longer than my car and I have driven it, but the feel is different to me. Combine all of these things with difficulty steering because the tires don't move as well as when the engine is running and you have a recipe for fubar'dness. (sigh) Needless to say, we get backed up but I end up putting us to where we were taking up two spaces. So forward we go. A car pulls in and instead of speaking to the guy, Michael lets him go into Blockbuster. So, now we have someone directly behind us and I have to try and angle his truck between two cars. Yup, almost hit one. Didn't though.

So, Michael has an alpha male blow up (which is rare for him) and I get yelled out. Yup, he finally sounds like one of the men in my family. Took him over two years but he succeeded admirably. It was a good rant about how I don't know how to drive and he's going to have to teach me blah blah. Granted, he was frustrated and pushing the truck was hard but, yeah, that really helped the situation. Short end was it took two more tries for me to be able to get the truck into a space in a way that satisfied Michael. After that? We walked the 2.1 miles to our house. Not that bad a walk and the weather was nice but halfway is very busy road with nothing to call a sidewalk. Fun.

Michael apologized and tried to be chipper going home. Me? I just wanted to get my car, get back to pick up stuff, and stay home. By the time we got home, I had a splitting headache. I came into my office and saw Jon had called so I talked with him while Michael tried out the washer. Then Michael comes in while I was setting up the hairstyle poll and slideshow on the wedding blog and gets frustrated at me because I wanted to read directions on how to do it rather than let him walk me through the steps via google. I gave in and it went well but then he was "helping" me by reading over my shoulder and correcting my phrasing as I wrote the entry (I originally didn't have an and between girlie and frivolous) which only set my teeth on edge so I closed out the browser and tossed my keyboard aside. Mature of me, I know. But I write on here like I speak/think instead of going for "proper" phrasing. I'm not writing an academic analysis here! Sheesh He went off to his office and I read some articles and played some games. By 10p I was tired and wanted to watch a "Bridezilla" episode but the DVD won't work in my computer for some reason. So, I just gave up, took my shower, and went to bed by 10:45p. Michael joined me at some point and snuggled up (which was nice) but he kept twitching and then woke me up for snoring. Plus, I was hot from it being too warm in the house. So, I took my pillow and went to the couch cause I could tell it would be one of those nights (of waking up a gazillion time) if I didn't.

I slept pretty well, hence me being up this early to write. I'm feeling tired again so I may go back to sleep. Hopefully today will be a better day throughout. (sigh)

To Be or Not to Be a Bridezilla

(photo courtesy of brideorama.com)

Last night, Michael and I got into a conversation about what it means to be a bridezilla. I mean, after all, everyone keeps saying, "It's your day, you should have things like you want them." This is usually said after I've worried about hurting someone's feelings, etc. So, I asked Michael where the line is on when someone is just being a "normal" (and are any ever really that way?) bride and a bridezilla since both want things the way they want them. Michael thinks every woman is pretty much a bridezilla because there is no black and white in the definition due to perception. Great. So no matter how much you may not want to be seen as such, someone will think that's what you are. (sigh)

So, today during my office hours, I have been looking up the term. There is actually a bridezilla website. It's been interesting to look at and some things seem extreme but there is also some really good advice mixed in too. Well, on there they have the following for the definition:

Bridezilla Defined

"Webster's Definition: Bridezilla\ bride-zil-a n 1 Horrific, bulging-eyed bride prone to screaming spells and spontaneous fits of hysterical rage. Bridezillas are known to drop blows over seating charts, get bug-eyed at the mere mention of carnations and view hurling champagne at their wedding planners as a form of hazing.

Bridezilla.com's Definition: Bridezilla\bride-zil-a n 1 Exceptionally attractive, confident women who know what they want and can't be bothered to sugar coat because they are obviously on 100 calorie- a- day microbiotic diets and can't even sneak a pack of Splenda if their life depends on it. Bridezillas are both blessed and cursed with a higher vision of perfection than most mediocre, David's Bridal wearing, Gerber daisy carrying mortals and have no choice but to impart this vision exactly to the masses. It is this motive that drives them to demand nothing less than excellence from their staff-err, wedding party.

In short, some people say bridezillas are bat-crazy man-hating Stepford brides. We say potato, potahto."

KFOR.com defines says "Bridezillas is a name coined in 1995. It's slang, but there's an official definition. It’s a bride to be who focuses so much on the event that she becomes difficult and obnoxious."

Then there is the publisher's explanation of the book, "Bridezilla: True Tales From Etiquette Hell": "A wedding can bring out the best in a person but often brings out the worst. A bride, in particular, seems most susceptible to mutating into a beast no family member or friend can recognize because a magical ring was placed on the third finger of her left hand. By definition, a Bridezilla describes a subspecies of a bride-to-be who believes her wedding day is "her day," that she is princess for the day, that the world owes her, and that her every desire and whim for the "perfect wedding" is to be catered to instantly and subserviently by friends, family, and vendors under threat of thermonuclear meltdown."

From all of this, I guess we can say that being a bridezilla is when a woman has an extreme reaction to either being the bride or a minor event. Even then we could argue over what that means cause some stress is justifiable. Actually, there are variations on the zilla part for everyone involved. So, let's just say that if you're making someone miserable for no good reason (and is there ever a good reason to make someone that way?) at this event, you're being a zilla.

I took a quiz on iVillage and this is what it said that I was a "Low-Key Bride". Flare.com's test says that I am "The Peacemaker". WE tv says I'm an "Average Bride". Well, I'm trying to be, that's for sure. Yeah, I have the blog for us but that keeps things easy and fun (hope). Hard not to when everyone is scattered to the four winds. Hopefully it will stay easy. (snort) Stop laughing all of you NOW. The Bridezilla moment has now passed, you may conrinue about your day. Oh wait, that was one too, wasn't it? ;o)

Sheesh

Ignore the registries post from this blog. It was supposed to be under the wedding one. Why it ended up here. . .I must have hit the wrong one. Sorry for the double send of it. Sheesh

Grumpy

Ok, so I've been a little moody lately. All right, a lot moody. Not sure what it is. Maybe my allergies. Maybe the gazillion things I should do that I seem not to have the energy to get done. . .whatever.

Michael heard something the other day on the radio about how we only have a limited amount of will power. That there may be a genetic predisposition for a certain amount. No matter how you look at it though, they say that because we have a limit, splitting it between too many things can mean that none of them get done to their full potential if at all.

That's all I needed to hear.

(sigh) Lord knows I'm good enough at making excuses for myself without throwing that into the mix. lol

But whatever. Only two weeks left to classes (I'm trying to wrap my head around that). After that I teach one course through July. But mostly I'll be working on the dissertation (yes, really, I gave my director something last week), the house, and the wedding. Oh, and losing weight -- we've started going to the gym. I'm doing a half hour on the elliptical and half hour on the treadmill for starters plus a few weights. Gee? Think I have enough? lol However, I may have to temp this summer as my taxes were less than I feared but more than I hoped. But I really need a break cause the fall is gonna be insane! So, we'll see.

Gonna keep plugging cause that's what I have to do. Hugs.

A Worthy Cause

Hi. Sorry for the lapse again. The last couple of weeks have been hectic with a gazillion things to do. Between teaching, plotting dissertation and wedding, and cleaning, my plate is pretty full. I've actually managed to finally revise my diss intro. I think my next step is to dive into the theory because that is the hardest part and my reward for that will be analyzing the plays I'm doing. Some "reward," huh? lol

Also, my allergies have been kicking my butt. My car looks like a tree ejaculated it's entire supply onto it. Sheesh At least the color is green even if it is a different shade from the car's.

Our new cats have settled in well. Hydona has accepted Solaris and they get along great. They have no problems sharing. It's kind of nice to know that when the attacks happen it's because they are playing. They already have various nicknames and know them. Oh, and it's also nice to have cats who listen most of the time. Solaris is slower (just because he's a big pile of goo and hates to move) but Hydona is very smart. She can be stubborn at times (gee, who does that sound like?) but she usually listens. She actually leaves rooms with me and doesn't make me chase her. lol But I still miss Shaman even though I love these two to death.

Anyway, today I got up right after Michael left so I could redo the diss intro. So now I at least have something for my director next week. (sigh)

Just wanted to update you all. Life is pretty much routine right now. However, occasionally something will inevitably pop up and I'll write about it but there may be long gaps.

One thing I did want to tell you all about is a group called Kick For Nick. One of my students gave a speech on it last night. Tom is/was Nick's best friend. Both were in the military. You'll notice the past tense because Nick was killed in Iraq two years ago. He'd only had a month on his tour to go. Very sad. It seems he was a very nice young man who loved children and had come up with this idea to share his childhood love of soccer with the children over there. He'd taken some balls back with him on his last trip home and handed them out. Well, after his death, his dad started up a campaign to try and continue that thought. It's a lovely gesture and I just wanted to share it with you. Tom is setting up a collection's station here in Columbia since he is now stationed at Fort Jackson and attending USC. So, if any of you know of any unused soccer balls or what not, pass 'em along to me and I'll see that he gets them. It was an awesome speech that brought one girl to tears.

Long Week

I am very tired right now but want to get you all caught up on the week. You can find wedding updates on the other blog.

Jami and Cynthia were late coming in on Monday night but I was watching their progress online so it all worked out well. We got back here at about 2a. They got out of here ok today and home all right. We spent most of the week wandering around and shopping for wedding dresses, Cynthia's prom dress, and other miscellaneous stuff. Cindy and I went to USC yesterday morning while Jami slept and I gave her a tour. She likes the campus. Last night we went to see "The Vantage Point" which was pretty good. Jami went shopping. Jon kindly brought her home so I wouldn't have to worry about coordinating everything.

We did manage to find Cynthia a prom dress. It's a very simple black one that fits her form quite well and she'll be able to wear it again for something else. So, that was good.

Most of what went on is on the other blog so check there. Gonna write it as soon as I'm done here.

Overall it was a great visit and I'm glad that they came down. (big grin)

Spring Break

And boy. . .do I need it. lol

Let's see. . .what has been happening besides school stuff? Well, trying to get the house cleaned up and organized. It's a slow process. There is so much to go through from my various moves and things. So, it's gonna take a while.

Michael and I got another cat so that Hydona has a playmate. She has way too much energy to be by herself and needs another outlet besides us. I told Michael that I wanted a cuddle kitty. I still miss Shaman terribly but I wanted a kitty I could smoosh around like her. Hydona is affectionate but she doesn't really like to cuddle. She'll sleep on my lap but it has to be when she's worn out. So, we went to see the vet in person the day after Shaman died so I could tell him about her. He really is a nice guy. Anyway, while we were there (the other Petsmart in town), Michael saw a male cat who looks almost exactly like Shaman except he doesn't have the black nose or black chin patch. And he's bigger. So, I said, ok, we'll go talk to the cats. Well, there was a female who was fairly friendly but she wasn't as attached to us as Hydona had been the first meeting. But the male, Solaris, just wrapped his paws around my neck and wouldn't let go. He purred and when I passed him to Mike, he did the same thing plus washed his ear. Michael was a goner. lol

So, he found me a cuddle kitty. Solaris is only 9 months old but he's a big boy and just sweet as can be. He's so soft and just a big fluffer. It took Hydona two days to accept him. After all, she had been here first and we were her people. lol Solaris handled it all pretty well. He's not as dominant a character as she is but can be if need be. Hmmm. . .sounds familiar (that just occurred to me). lol Anyway, we made sure not to show preferential treatment. They get along better now than Shaman and Miri did. Of course, Shaman was way more territorial than Hydona. The two get rough but it's all good fun. Hydona and Solaris each love both of us but she has a preference for me and Solaris has a preference for Michael. It's kind of funny. But it's good cause we now have a cohesive little family. They both slept on me earlier but that was because Michael was shut off from Solaris. Now the two "men" are zonked out on the bed.

Michael was gone all last week. He had to go to NY for some computer training. He loves going up there because he gets to massively geek out on machines. He is so jinxed while traveling by air. On the way up, one of the luggage conveyors literally blew up because the belt was out of whack. So he was stuck at the airport forever. Coming back, he almost missed his flight because of traffic but since it was delayed 2 hours, he managed to (barely) make the flight though he was a half hour late and they'd already assigned his seat. Then in Atlanta he was delayed twice with the second being a sudden pickup in the wind that caused the pilot to realize that they didn't have enough fuel to compensate. I told him we are so not flying anywhere for the honeymoon. lol

But, I was smart and had gotten us a hotel room in Charlotte Friday night so it didn't matter that he didn't get into that airport until 1a. We had lunch with his mother yesterday and then came home. However, today was exciting because he woke up in severe pain. I rushed him to the ER. Turned out he was passing a 2mm sized kidney stone. (sigh) That better be our medical emergency for the year. We got him around 1p and he fell into an uncomfortable doze. The stone seems to have passed but not out yet. So, he's still taking tomorrow off from work.

That's fine by me. I have to drive up to Charlotte again tomorrow night to pick up Jami and Cynthia from the airport. They land very late. But that won't be too bad, I think. They can crash in the car. I'll be awake enough to drive. I'll probably update you all again at the end of the week.

Family Rant

Ok, so, I need to rant for a moment. Some of my family are (insert appropriate name). Fill in the () for yourself. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before so please forgive me if I did. One of my sisters-in-law had insisted that she be a bridesmaid in the wedding when I told her Michael and I were getting married. I was a little taken aback but not opposed to the idea. Just shocked as I'd already had a firm plan of who I was going to ask (and even that ended up changing for other reasons). See, here's the thing, I was one of her bridesmaids eons ago when she first married into the family. But it was all my mother's idea. Not mine. I was a young teen (about 12 or 13) at the time so I was cool with the idea but I don't think I would have been heartbroken not to have been in it. And yes, over the years she and I have become friends.

But. . .

While we are friends, I have a bunch of other friends too. So, I was thinking of asking different people to do different things for the wedding since I can't possibly have everyone in the wedding party. For example, I've asked the northern Kyle to walk me down the aisle since I no longer have my dad. I'd ask my brothers but they have daughters to do that for. Besides, I wouldn't want to choose between John and Chuck (though I could) and having all three of us won't work like I thought it would once upon a time. That had been my original image for that part -- one of them on either side of me but. . .(sigh). Anyway, I thought my sis-in-law could play the piano for us. Or help me with decorations since I could use some craftsy help. But no. She made excuses. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I just had a different image in my head.

Plus, she's having problems with my brother. Hell, he'sprobably not even coming. And neither has been on a trip in like 20 years. I kid you not. There is always some excuse. So, how do I know that there won't be again? There's so many ifs and I need something more solid so I can plan the day.

So, now she's saying that she won't be coming down.

Am I so wrong to not want problems for my wedding? I feel guilty for hurting her feelings. I didn't mean to. Am I being selfish? People keep telling me no but I feel rotten. Hell, there are so many people I love who I have not asked to be in the wedding and who I would so love to have play a part. I'm hoping they are ok with just coming and celebrating with us. I mean, to me, that is so important. Hell, they may get to participate anyway cause we have ideas for things to do. I have friends whose weddings I haven't been in as a bridesmaid. But that was cool. I got to do other things for them. And I was happy they were happy.

This sucks. I wish my family could just be happy for me and want to be there. I wish they could just go along with the plans. Cause it isn't just about Michael and I. We are the heart of the event but the soul consists of everyone we love. I am planning things not with just us in mind but with thoughts for how we can make this an event for everyone. An old fashioned ceremony wrapped up in an entertaining package. A party to celebrate our love between ourselves and everyone there.

But apparently that mushiness doesn't really gel for some. Or they don't believe my sincerity. I thought I was past that attitude from people. Guess not. So need to work on my dissertation cause the theme of familial betrayal is such a good thing for me to be working on right now.