How Do You Spell Stress?

Oh, gee, I don't know. I guess you spell it L-I-F-E. I say that because that does seem to be how mine goes.

So, we still haven't heard back from Hite about the house which isn't a surprise but you can imagine what the waiting is doing to Mike and I. We're trying not to let it affect our relationship and it isn't but that's only because we keep trying to distract ourselves. Fortunately we got to spend most of Tuesday (he had a half day) and all day yesterday together doing stuff. We went riding again yesterday morning. I did about 4+ miles which I think is going to be my norm until I get my body used to riding again. I did do better overall. So, once I can do the hills, etc without stopping, I'll start going further and further. Mike went all the way down and back when I turned around and that was just fine. He's more used to it.

I spoke with Melissa on Tuesday and again yesterday. Well, she does plan on applying and she called our HR person yesterday to tell her. I think Melissa will make a good manager. I've decided not to apply for the position but instead to support her application. Would I like to be manager? Yes. Would I do a good job? I like to think so. Do I have the time? No. It's just not the right time for me to be taking on a responsibility like that. Hell, I don't even know if I can handle doing my job now. I've been so jittery and spazzy lately that it's amazing I'm getting anything done at all. My emotions and nerves are all over the place. Maybe I need to up the meds, maybe I need more sleep, maybe I just need a little bit of everything. All I know is my stupid brain keeps going into some very dark places and it's pissing me off. So, do I need to be handling the store? Um, that would be a no. And Melissa has the time, the drive, and the right ideas. She doesn't have the training, but that can be remedied. So, after my doc appointments tomorrow, I'll be calling HR and telling them that I support her bid for manager. What I will offer to do is be acting manager (like usually happens in this case) until they make a decision and/or get Melissa up to a speed that makes them comfortable. Hell, I may not even have to take on that role. But I'll have time for it so long as we're not having to look for another house.

I also told Melissa that no matter what happens, I was taking off the last weekend of this month because I am responsible for Valerie's couple's shower up in DC. She'd shoot me (or worse) if I missed it. She graciously insisted that I not go to the girlie one this past weekend (which turned out to be a good thing because of the house mess) but I can't miss the couple's. I already stressed her out this week by not getting the invites out until Tuesday after I said that I would get them out by last Friday. Well, I didn't want to screw them up and I wanted Mike to help me put them together which didn't happen til Tuesday. I thought we'd get them done on Sunday and I'd mail them Monday but I ended up being such a basketcase that I couldn't focus. I should have made myself do so last week. (sigh) I so don't want to stress her out more than she already is cause she has enough crap going on herself. Hopefully this will be the only thing I do as her MOH that does. I figure that the odds were good that I would do something that would so hopefully we've gotten it out of the way. Oh, well, she'll owe me one next year.

At any rate, I have a ton to do today and better get to it. Jami and Cynthia are coming to visit tonight and I have grading to do, straightening to do (thank God the house is clean), and a couple other things. Yippee. Oh, and trying not to spazz again, that would be a good goal too. lol