Here We Go Again

So, I am now officially out on medical leave. The woman from benefits finally got ahold of me on Tuesday (we'd been playing phone tag) and is sending me the FMLA paperwork. She also told me to call Aetna because the company offers disability pay. What? Cool. Was just gonna suffer through without my income and let Mike help me. You gotta know how much that irked me. Well, if the woman I spoke to had had a personality I might have fallen over. She was very mean and rude but I assumed that she was just doing her job cause people probably make false claims all the time and stuff. But no, I just spoke to another rep and she was very sweet and polite. See? You don't have to be mean to people. Anyway, I digress. It turned out that in order to get the paperwork processed, I needed a DOCTOR's signature. My two medical peeps are both NURSE PRACTITIONERS. The first rep made it sound like I was doing something wrong and wasting her time because I thought Julie was an MD but we couldn't find her info in the system. So, I was going to have to call back with her info. When I spoke with Julie and found out she was also a nurse practitioner, I was stumped. So, I decided to call Gaye and find out what she thought or if she could direct me to a doctor for all of this so we could do things "properly." She recommended someone and I set up an appointment for yesterday afternoon.

Gotta love USC, they get you in as quickly as they can. And if it's a true emergency, they get you in even faster. Fortunately they are slow right now because of summer so I knew I didn't have any worries at all. I didn't and had time to do lunch with Mike. I like the doctor, he's very nice. I was a bit hyper (manic) and it showed in my blood pressure: 145/79. Good bottom, sucky top. One reason I was stressed was because I didn't know what he would be like or say. I mean, I trust Gaye's opinion but still. Fortunately, he trusts Gaye too so it was all good. Where we get the title of the blog is from what he recommended -- that I go to the counseling center and see the new psychiatrist. Great. He was pretty adamant that I do so and knowing that the benefits conditions state the necessity of a psychiatrist for anything related to mental health, I agreed to go. This way if he writes down extreme anxiety or stress or whatever, I'm covered through that as well. Gaye thought that I should be out for 4-6 weeks but Dr. King said at least six weeks, possibly more depending upon what the other doc says. Great, Jess is gonna love that.

Anyway, I decided to just go over to CHDC (Counseling and Human Development Center) since I had time and then wouldn't have to come back if they could squeeze me in. I think I might have freaked the secretary a little (I didn't recognize her) when I said I was sent over cause I guess that made it sound like an emergency. I just wanted her to know why I was there and it was a referral. But that all got straightened out. I spoke briefly with the new psychiatrist (thank God the old one is gone because I did not like him). See, for those of you who don't know, I went there from the fall of 1998 to at the fall of 2003 (minus the year off for when I was in France). I only needed the psychiatric part of it for the first two years of my counseling. Can't remember the full diagnosis beyond being OCD (duh, we know that lol). There was a different psychiatrist then from the guy I just mentioned not liking and he was cool. I think he labeled me with bi-polar tendencies. Not sure if he diagnosed me with as being full-blown with it. But whatever cause all of that info is poof and I get to start fresh.

The new psych talked only briefly with me to get a feel for what is up and why I was there. Then she let me go finish filling out the paperwork and set me up to talk with one of the counselors. Most of the people are new. There's only two left from when I was there before. I like Russell but I didn't want to see him cause something about him has always made me kind of nervous. Did group stuff with him and Ruthann one time and that could be why. As for the other woman, I think Ruthann had recommended her but since I suck at remembering names, I didn't ask for her. So, I ended up with someone new. I wasn't thrilled at first with getting a guy only because most of the male psychologists/psychiatrists I've met have had a huge arrogant vibe. But Jaime is cool. He doesn't have that at all and "feels" more like Ruthann. So, that should do. I will see him next week again and also see Dr. Khetpal for an evaluation next week. She seems very nice so I think I'll be ok there too. A part of me doesn't want to go this route again but I need to do something.

I'm just trying to figure stuff out. I think I wore myself out physically again by working so much when my body needed rest to try and heal itself. December and January were very rough months. I wish I had known about FMLA then and the short term disability because I would have done it but the money thing became all pervasive. Mike would have helped me but I wasn't in a frame of mind to let him. Too damn independent sometimes for my own good. I try not to judge him based upon the men in my family but that's hard to do in situations such as the financial. The thing with Jessica last month was just the last straw in a long line of stressors I've had for the past year from work and her. (shrug) So, we'll see. You all knew I was crazy, I'm just reaffirming it. ;o)