Big Grins

Ah, the support of friends. I love it. Thanks all for responding. I decided that you needed your own entry here instead of listing a reply post.

Laurent, you crack me up. And Mike is a student at your school most of the time which is why his being riled up over this is such a big deal. Yes, we all go through crap with our jobs. . .none is perfect. I guess I've just been putting up with too much of it from this one for too long.

Kirsti, I hear ya. Problem is, this isn't a corporate policy. To quote our handbook from page 70: "Booksellers should discourage visits from relatives and friends during working hours." That does not say that they cannot come in at all which is what she wants. This is something Jessica wants to make a store policy but isn't adhering to herself. Last Wednesday her aunt and grandmother came in looking for her (the second time that week that someone came to visit her) and her mother was in the store with her this past Thursday. Each of them "looked around" just like Mike does but did not purchase anything. 75% of the time Mike purchases something. And when he doesn't he orders something to buy later. How can she say that this is a policy for us all but then not adhere to it herself? Plus, she said that he could come in if he is bringing me food for dinner. Um, ok. Not sure how that makes a difference. And that's what happened last night. Mike came in, I sent him for dinner, he came back, I sent him out into the mall to wait for me with the food, and then I joined him. He didn't shop this time because he has decided to take his business elsewhere. Michael wouldn't be having a problem with this if it were merely a case of him not being allowed to visit me. He understands that rule of course. He sees the issue as being against him as a customer.

Which brings me to Andi: You got it right on the head, chickie. Well, for the most part. See, the problem is, Jessica turned this into a problem that got attached to his being a company employee even though the issue didn't have anything to do with that. Hence going to HR. We each spoke with a person yesterday. Not sure how helpful she was with me when her suggestion was to talk with Jessica about issues. Been there, done that. My head is bloody from bashing that wall. Our communication level is good for about two weeks and then she starts treating me like an incompetent idiot all over again. So, no, I don't think that's going to help. And I just found out where this all probably comes from -- at her other store, that assistant's bf was coming in a lot and disrupting things. Jessica is afraid of a repeat even though I am not like the other assistant and Mike doesn't have such free time. If that was her fear, she should have talked to me about it like an adult before passing me off as guilty.

As for Mike, the HR person was confused about why this was an issue for him and why he doesn't just shop at the store he's been working at. To summarize what he said to her: 1) He's only worked at that store 4 times, 2) He's a lifelong patron of my store, 3) Our store has a better selection of what he reads (it does -- we're one of the best in Columbia for manga), and 4) Store loyalty since he hasn't developed an attachment to his store yet. This impressed HR (he thinks) and hopefully there will be resolution soon.

At any rate. . .Andi is right and it's been the question I have been asking myself. Why am I here? What is important to me right now? The answer would be my dissertation and getting my damned degree. This job was only ever meant to be temporary. I don't want to spend my life there. Can I see it as an option should I not be able to find a teaching job? Yeah. But it takes too much energy away from things I find more important. Life is too short to waste on such pursuits if they aren't making you happy.

And Andi, you made it sound like you are wasting your degree or something. You're not. You never really wanted to teach -- you wanted the knowledge that you could apply to your art (she has a PhD in music composition). Teaching was a secondary thing for you. And I've realized that it is for me too. Writing is and has always been what I've wanted. Well, by damn I'm gonna stop waffling and do it. I love teaching but I have a more driven goal than even that. But you all know how bad a procrastinator I am. Something has to kick my ass sometimes before it actually sinks into my thick skull what I should be doing. (grin)

So, I guess after all that writing, we have reached the end answer. . .moving on from that phase of my life. I got some good things out of it: friends, lots of books, experience, etc. I most especially got the best thing in my life out of it and he's in the next room writing his own blog entry. But in the end, the job has had far more negative things to come with it: no time to spend with friends or be as good a one as I want to be, little time to be a good teacher, a drain on my energy and health, no time for writing, etc. Oh, and an OCD paranoid manager with a martyr complex. I have put a lot into the store but the price has become too high. In the end, is this latest incident a big deal? No. But it was that final straw I needed to not feel bad about leaving. I have been debating the issue for months. Guess I know which side of me has won the debate.