Is Anyone Listening?

It's like talking to a wall. I swear that at least the bricks would reflect something back. What am I doing up at 7a on a freaking Saturday when school is out of session? Reversed insomnia. My brain is too rabbity for me to sleep. I got about 5 hours of exhausted sleep but I keep dreaming and feel restless. I don't want to wake Mike up with my fidgeting so I came in here to vent. This Christmas sucks but for him.

Why is that? I really hate my job right now. No, let me clarify that. . .I hate the damn situation. I really like working with the customers, helping them find books, and and even doing some of the business aspect of the job. What I hate is being treated like I am invisible and have no real experience. Like I don't know a freaking thing about XYZ. Give me a break. Am I perfect? No. Do I know everything? No. Am I willing to own up to my mistakes? Yes. So what's the problem?

First off, as you know, we have a "new" manager. She's actually been with the company for longer than me (five years to my two). But, she's never worked this store before or managed the kiosks though she has worked at them. Every store is different and has different needs. One of the major differences between her other one and this one is that we have a higher traffic. She seems jazzed and overwhelmed at the same time by that. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that she can't handle the situation, that she isn't capable of it. What I'm saying is that this is a different situation than she's been in before. She was tossed in head first without much warning. That is not her fault. If she'd had time to lead into the season, we all would be doing much better.

The problem comes in where she doesn't listen to those of us who have dealt with the place for Christmases past. It's not just me but others on the staff who feel like we belong to the Invisible Nation. How are we not being listened to? Well, one of the big things is scheduling. We don't find out until last minute when we'll be working. None of us but her and the two main kiosk people (for good reason) can plan anything because there is no rhyme or reason. I have it easier than most that way because of my position but even I am not immune. She does the schedule a day or two before the next week and there are holes that need to be scrambled to be fixed. Factor in extenuating circumstances and you have a recipe for disaster. I had everyone at a fairly set schedule but for requests off. Was I over in hours? Yes because we were having staffing problems and I was taking the time to make sure that people had training before being fed to the wolves. Is she good about trying to accommodate everyone? Yes. Very much so. But the planning needs to happen sooner.

Second problem is that we are caught in a catch-22. Our DM has been hammering at us about task work but if we get that done, we are ignoring the customers who are supposed to come first. Even when the numbers support us in why we don't get stuff done (because we don't have the hours to staff for it all -- that is corporate's fault), we get shit for it. We can't win. We have someone who hasn't worked in a store (that one in particular since the DM used to be it's manager) for well over two years coming in and bitching -- where customers can hear her -- about how disorganized things are when we're all obviously busting our butts helping people (I am speaking specifically of last night). It doesn't help that our manager runs to her with things that could be handled internally if she would just look to those around her for help.

And that's the crux of the problem.

A few of her former employees are working with us. They are a great bunch. One of them and I were talking about the matter the other night. She doesn't think that any of the store's original crew respects the manager. She doesn't understand that because the entire former crew would have done anything for their manager. Well, yeah, they worked with her longer and also under circumstances that weren't as stressful and dire as this. But respect isn't always an automatic thing. It has to be earned a lot of time. And it can fluctuate. Obviously jerking around people who could help doesn't aid the situation. This employee had some good points and she's right on a lot of it. The problem? While our manager tries to take into account everyone's schedule, she doesn't necessarily try to see all sides of each situation. Why? She has trouble focusing on one thing at a time (something who former employees readily admit is a problem for her). Things are so scattered that no one has a clue at any given moment what they are supposed to be doing beyond customer service. Couple that with a lack of allowed hours from corporate and a DM who keeps harping on numbers and other things (adding stress to our fearless leader who needs to be left alone to adjust) and it's no wonder that most of the crew would walk out right now.

And is that the point? I don't know. I do know that the DM doesn't like me. Well, the feeling is obviously mutual, non? But I try very hard to be fair about the whole thing. She has come in and helped us a lot from time to time. She is fighting with corporate over the lack of hours and planning us to death. I have openly appreciated these things. Unfortunately, more often than not, mostly she comes in just to criticize. There is no reward for doing well, only punishment for having problems. If things were more balanced, it would be fine cause that's how life works.

What I find amusing is that corporate sent out a "How to Survive the Holidays" poster a few weeks back. You know what? I think the higher ups need to have that branded into their brains cause they sure as heck haven't read the thing. It's all a big cycle. Are there going to be problems? Hell, yes. But they don't have to be compounded by hierarchical bullshit.

What is there to do when you start to hate going to work and become a miserable and bitchy wretch?